I went swimming at Walden Pond last night. THE Walden Pond. Thoreau, I took to the woods, buddies with Nathaniel Hawthorne and Bronson Alcott. That Walden Pond.
Anyway, since I moved here I've been hearing about how marvelous Walden Pond is for swimming. Since it's a park and a historical site and all that, they maintain the water very well. I've also heard that it's lots of fun for night swimming, although technically the powers that be frown on the whole idea of night swimming at Walden Pond.
So of course last night a few of us went night swimming.
We parked totally illegally and walked down the path, past the closed barrier, and down to the Pond, again totally illegally.
Well, it was marvelous. The water was warm and so clear that I could see my legs underwater even though it was partly cloudy and the only light above seemed to be coming from the stars. Compared to Cambridge, there were 500 million stars out. I miss the stars... As a special little bonus just for me, I saw a shooting star.
We turned somersaults and this guy Aaron and I had holding your breath contests. I won the 2 hold your breath while doing a handstand contests. I think it's because I'm such a good multitasker generally.
I didn't get to sleep until 2 AM and between swimming 80 laps in the morning and treading water for an hour at Walden, I am pooped today. But it was lovely.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
What To Wear, What To Wear...
I think I've been watching too much What Not To Wear. Last night I had a dream that I went to this exclusive clothing store and bought two pairs of pants for $150 each. One pair was off-white linen, which is utterly impractical, but they were a size smaller than anything I currently have and looked fab on me.
I also bought a bikini. I've owned 2 bikinis in my life, one when I was two that had little green froggy faces covering my non-boobies, the other when I was 13 that I only wore at my grandparents' house because I was sick and tired of having a fish-belly white belly. The bikini in the dream looked good on me somehow so of course I had to buy it. I think it was $300.
And therein lies the problem I've always had with What Not To Wear. Stacy and Clinton drag these people to New York, trash their current wardrobe, teach them what looks good on them, and then turn them loose in the shops of New York to spend $5000. However, with the prices at these chi-chi shops, it always looks like the person gets 3 pairs of paints, a couple of skirts, 4 shirts, and an awesome jacket. Yeah, that's very useful for the average American.
I think what they should do is have Stacy and Clinton scope out the person's hometown for appropriate clothing and then show the person how to shop for clothes in their own town, within a realistic budget. That would be more productive toward continuing the fabulousness after Stacy and Clinton are no longer holding the person's hand.
TLC should hire me.
I also agree wholeheartedly with their decision to get rid of Paige Davis on Trading Spaces, simply because her perkiness got really REALLY annoying after a few years, and I know someone who knew her pre-Trading Spaces who confirmed that yes, she is a self-absorbed annoying little pixie. However, Trading Spaces seems kind of aimless now. I think a host of some sort is necessary to keep the flow going. Now we just have interviews with the traders at the beginning and then at the end they kind of wander back into their homes, not really knowing where they're supposed to be going (it's the room with all the bright set lighting, guys!).
I also bought a bikini. I've owned 2 bikinis in my life, one when I was two that had little green froggy faces covering my non-boobies, the other when I was 13 that I only wore at my grandparents' house because I was sick and tired of having a fish-belly white belly. The bikini in the dream looked good on me somehow so of course I had to buy it. I think it was $300.
And therein lies the problem I've always had with What Not To Wear. Stacy and Clinton drag these people to New York, trash their current wardrobe, teach them what looks good on them, and then turn them loose in the shops of New York to spend $5000. However, with the prices at these chi-chi shops, it always looks like the person gets 3 pairs of paints, a couple of skirts, 4 shirts, and an awesome jacket. Yeah, that's very useful for the average American.
I think what they should do is have Stacy and Clinton scope out the person's hometown for appropriate clothing and then show the person how to shop for clothes in their own town, within a realistic budget. That would be more productive toward continuing the fabulousness after Stacy and Clinton are no longer holding the person's hand.
TLC should hire me.
I also agree wholeheartedly with their decision to get rid of Paige Davis on Trading Spaces, simply because her perkiness got really REALLY annoying after a few years, and I know someone who knew her pre-Trading Spaces who confirmed that yes, she is a self-absorbed annoying little pixie. However, Trading Spaces seems kind of aimless now. I think a host of some sort is necessary to keep the flow going. Now we just have interviews with the traders at the beginning and then at the end they kind of wander back into their homes, not really knowing where they're supposed to be going (it's the room with all the bright set lighting, guys!).
Freaking Out!!!
Help! I downloaded the new iTunes onto my computer and now there is NOTHING in my library. No songs, no playlists - NOTHING!
I posted a query on the apple message boards and no one has answered me. Does anyone know what I can do?
CRISIS AVERTED!
I figured out how to get my music files back in the library, but then I found another post online and someone told someone exactly how to do it so they got their playlists back and everything. I'm almost as happy now as I was when I thought I broke my iPod and it turned out to be ok. Hurrah!
I posted a query on the apple message boards and no one has answered me. Does anyone know what I can do?
CRISIS AVERTED!
I figured out how to get my music files back in the library, but then I found another post online and someone told someone exactly how to do it so they got their playlists back and everything. I'm almost as happy now as I was when I thought I broke my iPod and it turned out to be ok. Hurrah!
Friday, July 29, 2005
Presents? I LOVE Presents!
One of the good things about having something really stressful in my life is that people that love me seem to think it's an appropriate time to give me presents.
Yesterday when I came home these flowers were sitting in my stairwell waiting for me. They're from my Auntie Victoria (Hi, Vicki!).
Pretty!
On Sunday my friend Chrissy gave me this little basket of goodies including cutesy pie index cards, a flower-shaped notebook, and a BIG pencil.
I love the big pencil. I so wish I could have used it for the MBE
To give you an idea of how big it really is, compare it to my hand.
The best thing about the big pencil is the GIANT pencil sharpener.
Lastly, the night before the Bar started, my roommate Angie gave me this super squashy pillow (which I held onto for dear life as I lay there Tuesday night until 4:30 AM stressing like crazy), and a turquoise plastic turtle.
The turtle has special rounded feet and is actually a massager. I just wish that I had someone to run the turtle down my spine. Boys? Anyone...?
Yesterday when I came home these flowers were sitting in my stairwell waiting for me. They're from my Auntie Victoria (Hi, Vicki!).
Pretty!
On Sunday my friend Chrissy gave me this little basket of goodies including cutesy pie index cards, a flower-shaped notebook, and a BIG pencil.
I love the big pencil. I so wish I could have used it for the MBE
To give you an idea of how big it really is, compare it to my hand.
The best thing about the big pencil is the GIANT pencil sharpener.
Lastly, the night before the Bar started, my roommate Angie gave me this super squashy pillow (which I held onto for dear life as I lay there Tuesday night until 4:30 AM stressing like crazy), and a turquoise plastic turtle.
The turtle has special rounded feet and is actually a massager. I just wish that I had someone to run the turtle down my spine. Boys? Anyone...?
Euphoria
I went to go do laundry this morning and, as I was leaving, thought, "Oh wait. I need to bring some flashcards with me...No, wait. No I don't!!!"
Does anyone know if you're supposed to tip a masseuse?
UPDATE: Thanks! I tipped her.
The massage was AWESOME. I think my shoulders are about 4 inches lower than they were. I want a massage every week.
Does anyone know if you're supposed to tip a masseuse?
UPDATE: Thanks! I tipped her.
The massage was AWESOME. I think my shoulders are about 4 inches lower than they were. I want a massage every week.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Day Two
It was like the Bar Examiners said, "What little bits of Domestic Relations, Professional Responsibility, Civil Procedure, and Federal Jurisdiction does Kelly kind of have a handle on?" and then based their questions on that. Plus TWO Crim questions (remember, I am a Crim savant). Now I don't know if I wrote it the way they wanted and I'm sure I missed some issues AND one of the Civ Pro questions I was kind of talking out my a** for about half of it, but overall I felt SO much better today.
My hand hurts. 10 essays, lots of writing.
I just wish I felt better about yesterday so I could feel like I actually passed. But I'm not going to obsess about it after today. No, actually I'm not going to obsess about it after about 2 1/2 hours ago. I am so euphoric. And tired. I'm going to be sleeping hard tonight.
I bought Harry Potter on my way home and ate Chinese food for dinner. Life is fabulous.
Angie just took this picture of me. I call it "After"
Note the relaxed expression and genuine smile.
And now we will return to our regularly scheduled program of Mormon singles social commentary, weight loss, and the job search.
My hand hurts. 10 essays, lots of writing.
I just wish I felt better about yesterday so I could feel like I actually passed. But I'm not going to obsess about it after today. No, actually I'm not going to obsess about it after about 2 1/2 hours ago. I am so euphoric. And tired. I'm going to be sleeping hard tonight.
I bought Harry Potter on my way home and ate Chinese food for dinner. Life is fabulous.
Angie just took this picture of me. I call it "After"
Note the relaxed expression and genuine smile.
And now we will return to our regularly scheduled program of Mormon singles social commentary, weight loss, and the job search.
Accentuate the Positive
So the best thing about yesterday was being able to see/talk with some of my friends from school. It's sad to think that in less than a month we'll all be going our separate ways. I've been through three years of hell with these people. It's amazing the bonding that happens in a 1L section.
They seated us in alphabetical order at the exam. It occurred to me on the T that I'd probably be pretty near Rob, who was in my section and who I sat next to and chatted with all during graduation. Recently Rob started dating my friend Lisa, which now that we all see them together we all think, "Why did it take 3 years for them to figure this out...?" They have such a natural repoire and comfort together.
So anyway I sit down at my seat and look over at the index cards around me and realize that Rob will be sitting right next to me. Considering something like 5,000 people were in that room yesterday, I thought that was pretty cool. He came in a few minutes later, saw me sitting there, said "Well, this is the way it should be," and gave me a big hug.
I ate lunch with Rob and Lisa, all of us implicitly agreeing that we would not be those people who dissect the exam. We did say we all thought it was insanely difficult and confusing, but that was the extent of the discussion.
After the awfulness that was Part 2, I was totally shell-shocked. I got on the escalator to head up and out of the building and, glancing up, saw that my friend Mandy was three steps in front of me. Again, 5,000 people. What are the odds of that? I caught up to her and gave her a hug and then we took the T home together and commiserated all the way.
Then last night I talked with Laura and we both felt awful about it. I know it sounds weird to be so okay with the fact that we're all so miserable, but it's nice to know I'm not alone. Because all these friends of mine are wicked smart, and maybe I have a chance of passing if they feel crappy about it too.
Eve (sorry, no fancy hyperlink, too lazy. www.eve-marie.com/experience/bar) said that the Bar Examiners tried out a bunch of new question formats yesterday, which is why so many of the questions looked NOTHING like what we've been practicing for 2 months with Barbri and PMBR. I have a feeling the scaling on this test is going to have to be huge in order for anyone to pass (well, except the law-savant people I know. Here's hoping they don't blow the curve for us normal folk.)
And on another high note: I think I got like 5 hours of sleep last night. Woo hoo! That's the most sleep I've had in the past 4 nights. Hopefully it will help me get over the brain-scrambling experience of yesterday and focus enough to knock out the 10 essays I have to do today.
Time to go get dressed and pack my Barbri ziploc purse. BRING IT!
They seated us in alphabetical order at the exam. It occurred to me on the T that I'd probably be pretty near Rob, who was in my section and who I sat next to and chatted with all during graduation. Recently Rob started dating my friend Lisa, which now that we all see them together we all think, "Why did it take 3 years for them to figure this out...?" They have such a natural repoire and comfort together.
So anyway I sit down at my seat and look over at the index cards around me and realize that Rob will be sitting right next to me. Considering something like 5,000 people were in that room yesterday, I thought that was pretty cool. He came in a few minutes later, saw me sitting there, said "Well, this is the way it should be," and gave me a big hug.
I ate lunch with Rob and Lisa, all of us implicitly agreeing that we would not be those people who dissect the exam. We did say we all thought it was insanely difficult and confusing, but that was the extent of the discussion.
After the awfulness that was Part 2, I was totally shell-shocked. I got on the escalator to head up and out of the building and, glancing up, saw that my friend Mandy was three steps in front of me. Again, 5,000 people. What are the odds of that? I caught up to her and gave her a hug and then we took the T home together and commiserated all the way.
Then last night I talked with Laura and we both felt awful about it. I know it sounds weird to be so okay with the fact that we're all so miserable, but it's nice to know I'm not alone. Because all these friends of mine are wicked smart, and maybe I have a chance of passing if they feel crappy about it too.
Eve (sorry, no fancy hyperlink, too lazy. www.eve-marie.com/experience/bar) said that the Bar Examiners tried out a bunch of new question formats yesterday, which is why so many of the questions looked NOTHING like what we've been practicing for 2 months with Barbri and PMBR. I have a feeling the scaling on this test is going to have to be huge in order for anyone to pass (well, except the law-savant people I know. Here's hoping they don't blow the curve for us normal folk.)
And on another high note: I think I got like 5 hours of sleep last night. Woo hoo! That's the most sleep I've had in the past 4 nights. Hopefully it will help me get over the brain-scrambling experience of yesterday and focus enough to knock out the 10 essays I have to do today.
Time to go get dressed and pack my Barbri ziploc purse. BRING IT!
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Day One
I've made a pact with myself that I am not going to rehash the test. Actually, I don't think I'd remember enough details to even start. Basically, the MBE is really hard. I was told that PMBR practice questions were harder than, or at least comparable to, the real thing. Yeah, not so much. I have been doing fairly well on my practice MBE's and I just can't even tell you if I passed today. Frankly, I feel like I didn't.
The questions were bizarre. The fact pattern would start out and I'd think "Oh I know where this is going" and then they'd switch some things up and throw in some facts and I'd wonder, "Well gee I don't know, is that an exception?" OR I'd think I knew the answer no problem but NONE of the 4 answer choices even came close to what I thought the answer was. And I SWEAR there was a Wills question on there. Wills are tomorrow you insane freakin' Bar Examiners!!!
I have never felt so ill-prepared for something this major in my life.
The "good" news is, it seems like a lot of people felt that way (Other than GG, but she is a crazy law processing machine, I've decided. Hi, GG! Glad you rocked it!). I'm trying to shove it out of my head for now and think about tomorrow. And I really feel the need to review. So I will be reading through some old essay questions and answers tonight and reviewing the state-specific topics. And probably the multistate topics since I obviously don't know what the he** I'm doing there either.
The goal is, I will spend today and tomorrow thinking about this and then I am letting it go until November. I fear finding a job and then 2 months later getting fired. I fear realizing that I actually do suck at this law stuff. But I can't be scared for the next 2 1/2 months. Szabo family, if I come for Thanksgiving, you may have to help me pull myself up from the Bar-failure floor.
It didn't help that I started crashing at 2:30 PM. I drank some warm Diet Coke and WILLED my eyes open and screamed in my head, "You CANNOT relax!!! Not an option!!!!" I can be very persuasive when need be.
Here is my gear from this morning: Sweatshirt for the freezing conference center, water bottle, and sassy little Barbri ziploc bag. Don't you all want one now?
And here's me moments before walking out the door. Hair pulled back in utilitarian ponytail. Note the exhaustion and the stress on the subject's face.
The questions were bizarre. The fact pattern would start out and I'd think "Oh I know where this is going" and then they'd switch some things up and throw in some facts and I'd wonder, "Well gee I don't know, is that an exception?" OR I'd think I knew the answer no problem but NONE of the 4 answer choices even came close to what I thought the answer was. And I SWEAR there was a Wills question on there. Wills are tomorrow you insane freakin' Bar Examiners!!!
I have never felt so ill-prepared for something this major in my life.
The "good" news is, it seems like a lot of people felt that way (Other than GG, but she is a crazy law processing machine, I've decided. Hi, GG! Glad you rocked it!). I'm trying to shove it out of my head for now and think about tomorrow. And I really feel the need to review. So I will be reading through some old essay questions and answers tonight and reviewing the state-specific topics. And probably the multistate topics since I obviously don't know what the he** I'm doing there either.
The goal is, I will spend today and tomorrow thinking about this and then I am letting it go until November. I fear finding a job and then 2 months later getting fired. I fear realizing that I actually do suck at this law stuff. But I can't be scared for the next 2 1/2 months. Szabo family, if I come for Thanksgiving, you may have to help me pull myself up from the Bar-failure floor.
It didn't help that I started crashing at 2:30 PM. I drank some warm Diet Coke and WILLED my eyes open and screamed in my head, "You CANNOT relax!!! Not an option!!!!" I can be very persuasive when need be.
Here is my gear from this morning: Sweatshirt for the freezing conference center, water bottle, and sassy little Barbri ziploc bag. Don't you all want one now?
And here's me moments before walking out the door. Hair pulled back in utilitarian ponytail. Note the exhaustion and the stress on the subject's face.
Um...
Seriously, everyone please say a prayer that I can pull it together. I got 2 hours of sleep last night (or rather, this morning).
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
With Love
Stress does a body good (at least when you have a bunch of weight to lose). I've lost 2 more pounds in the past 5 days and swam 32 in 13:15 tonight.
I was completely freaking out earlier, with waves of nausea rolling over me every time I thought about what I was going to be doing for the next 2 days. My roommate Heidi asked if I had gotten a blessing. I said no. I never think of that. I know I should when I'm freaked out. We called a couple of people and this guy Matt came over (If you're reading, Hi, Matt!). I immediately felt better. And now when the panic starts churning again and my throat starts threatening to close, I just think of the words and think of the peace I felt, and the panic starts subsiding. Just breathe, Kelly.
San Fran Jenn called me tonight too and talked me down a bit. I am so lucky to have such great people in my life who want to make sure I'm okay!
I just want to get all mushy for a minute and say thanks to all of my friends and family who have been so supportive and understanding during the past couple of months. It's been so wonderful to know that I have so many people pulling for me. I can feel your thoughts and prayers buoying me up as I alternate between needing to scream and needing to have a good cry. Please keep sending those good thoughts my way tomorrow and Thursday!
Also, I want to thank the Bar bloggers for the support. I was just talking with my mom about it yesterday morning. It has been pretty impossible to take much time to hang out with friends, especially over the last 2 weeks. I've been holed up in my apartment, studying all day long, and if not for my intermittent hops onto the internet to see what you all were doing, I think this process could have really driven me crazy.
I have used your acronyms and laughed at your jokes. Today, most of you have already started the exam and my thoughts and prayers are with you all. I'll be right there with you for the MBE tomorrow. We've all worked hard and stressed and gotten really goofy. I hope you all keep dropping by my blog so we can keep up with each other. I know I'll still be reading about you. And we can have a giant blog party in November after we all pass!
Thank you, everyone!
Hugs and kisses,
Kelly
I was completely freaking out earlier, with waves of nausea rolling over me every time I thought about what I was going to be doing for the next 2 days. My roommate Heidi asked if I had gotten a blessing. I said no. I never think of that. I know I should when I'm freaked out. We called a couple of people and this guy Matt came over (If you're reading, Hi, Matt!). I immediately felt better. And now when the panic starts churning again and my throat starts threatening to close, I just think of the words and think of the peace I felt, and the panic starts subsiding. Just breathe, Kelly.
San Fran Jenn called me tonight too and talked me down a bit. I am so lucky to have such great people in my life who want to make sure I'm okay!
I just want to get all mushy for a minute and say thanks to all of my friends and family who have been so supportive and understanding during the past couple of months. It's been so wonderful to know that I have so many people pulling for me. I can feel your thoughts and prayers buoying me up as I alternate between needing to scream and needing to have a good cry. Please keep sending those good thoughts my way tomorrow and Thursday!
Also, I want to thank the Bar bloggers for the support. I was just talking with my mom about it yesterday morning. It has been pretty impossible to take much time to hang out with friends, especially over the last 2 weeks. I've been holed up in my apartment, studying all day long, and if not for my intermittent hops onto the internet to see what you all were doing, I think this process could have really driven me crazy.
I have used your acronyms and laughed at your jokes. Today, most of you have already started the exam and my thoughts and prayers are with you all. I'll be right there with you for the MBE tomorrow. We've all worked hard and stressed and gotten really goofy. I hope you all keep dropping by my blog so we can keep up with each other. I know I'll still be reading about you. And we can have a giant blog party in November after we all pass!
Thank you, everyone!
Hugs and kisses,
Kelly
Bar Mix
If I were allowed to take my iPod to the Bar tomorrow (fascists) I would be listening to this excellent mix I just created to get pumped up. Some of the songs are self-explanatory Go Go Go!!! type songs, while the others just make my booty shake:
Let's Get It Started - Black-Eyed Peas
Ready to Go - Republica
Steve McQueen - Sheryl Crow (Contains my current favorite line that I have adopted as my own..um, if I swore "I ain't takin' sh** off no one, baby, that was yesterday")
The Boxer - Carbon Leaf
Ray of Light - Madonna
Hella Good - No Doubt
Right On - OMC (this song makes me happy)
Respect - Pink
We Will Rock You - Queen
Today - Smashing Pumpkins
Come On Eileen - Save Ferris (best remake ever. I love singing at the top of my lungs in the car, Too-rah-loo-rah Too-rah-loo-rah Aaaaaaaaay-aaaaaaay)
Shimmer - Throwing Muses
Vertigo - U2
Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz
Waterloo - ABBA
La La - Ashlee Simpson (oh come on. You know it makes your head bang)
Bootylicious - Destiny's Child ('cause I don't think you're ready for this jelly)
Groove Is In the Heart - Deee-Lite (the ultimate dance song)
Ya Mama - Fatboy Slim
A Little Less Conversation - Elvis
Isla de Encanta - Pixies
Let's Get It Started - Black-Eyed Peas
Ready to Go - Republica
Steve McQueen - Sheryl Crow (Contains my current favorite line that I have adopted as my own..um, if I swore "I ain't takin' sh** off no one, baby, that was yesterday")
The Boxer - Carbon Leaf
Ray of Light - Madonna
Hella Good - No Doubt
Right On - OMC (this song makes me happy)
Respect - Pink
We Will Rock You - Queen
Today - Smashing Pumpkins
Come On Eileen - Save Ferris (best remake ever. I love singing at the top of my lungs in the car, Too-rah-loo-rah Too-rah-loo-rah Aaaaaaaaay-aaaaaaay)
Shimmer - Throwing Muses
Vertigo - U2
Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz
Waterloo - ABBA
La La - Ashlee Simpson (oh come on. You know it makes your head bang)
Bootylicious - Destiny's Child ('cause I don't think you're ready for this jelly)
Groove Is In the Heart - Deee-Lite (the ultimate dance song)
Ya Mama - Fatboy Slim
A Little Less Conversation - Elvis
Isla de Encanta - Pixies
I'm Watching A Makeover Story...
...and eating lunch even though it's not my normal 12:30 break time.
Today I have:
Spent a couple of hours reading through essay questions and answers.
Done some MBE questions.
Talked to my friend Laura on the phone, which helped me feel better overall. I called her this morning wanting a reality check because I really don't have the Mass topics down pat. She told me that she talked with a friend of hers who passed the Mass Bar last year about the same exact fear and he said not to stress about it. The essays are mostly all about BSing anyway.
I HAVE A MASTERS IN ENGLISH. I am a BSing pro.
I think I do know just enough about the law to spot the issues and then run with it from there.
Today I plan to look over my MBE topic outlines and get them really seriously in my head. Then I'm going swimming at 5:30 and watching TV tonight and hopefully sleeping. Laura isn't sleeping either, so I'm not alone in that. Let's hope everyone is as sleep-deprived tomorrow.
I was thinking about all I've done. There have been times when I've felt like a slacker, but those were days when I only did like 2 1/2 hours of work after my 3-4 hour class. I have scheduled in breaks for myself so I didn't go crazy, but I think I'm been pretty good about working. For all of these state subjects I feel like I don't know I have: attended the lecture, condensed my notes into flashcards, reviewed the flashcards, created a mini-outline with my notes and flashcards, and reviewed the mini-outline. So it's in my head somewhere. I just need to get at it when it counts.
For all of you who read my blog and haven't taken or studied for the Bar, here is the challenge that was facing all of us 8 weeks ago:
Multistate Topics:
Contracts & Sales
Torts
Real Property
Constitutional Law
Evidence
Criminal Law
Criminal Procedure
State-Specific Topics:
Civil Procedure and Federal Jurisdiction
Agency
Consumer Protection
Commercial Paper
Corporations
Domestic Relations
Partnership
Professional Responsibility
Secured Transactions
Trusts
Wills
Plus all the Mass Distinctions in the Multistate topics.
And it all comes down to the next two days for me and others taking the Mass Bar.
BRING IT ON!!!!
(I also want to say my roommate Angie rocks because she bought me milk today. :) )
Today I have:
Spent a couple of hours reading through essay questions and answers.
Done some MBE questions.
Talked to my friend Laura on the phone, which helped me feel better overall. I called her this morning wanting a reality check because I really don't have the Mass topics down pat. She told me that she talked with a friend of hers who passed the Mass Bar last year about the same exact fear and he said not to stress about it. The essays are mostly all about BSing anyway.
I HAVE A MASTERS IN ENGLISH. I am a BSing pro.
I think I do know just enough about the law to spot the issues and then run with it from there.
Today I plan to look over my MBE topic outlines and get them really seriously in my head. Then I'm going swimming at 5:30 and watching TV tonight and hopefully sleeping. Laura isn't sleeping either, so I'm not alone in that. Let's hope everyone is as sleep-deprived tomorrow.
I was thinking about all I've done. There have been times when I've felt like a slacker, but those were days when I only did like 2 1/2 hours of work after my 3-4 hour class. I have scheduled in breaks for myself so I didn't go crazy, but I think I'm been pretty good about working. For all of these state subjects I feel like I don't know I have: attended the lecture, condensed my notes into flashcards, reviewed the flashcards, created a mini-outline with my notes and flashcards, and reviewed the mini-outline. So it's in my head somewhere. I just need to get at it when it counts.
For all of you who read my blog and haven't taken or studied for the Bar, here is the challenge that was facing all of us 8 weeks ago:
Multistate Topics:
Contracts & Sales
Torts
Real Property
Constitutional Law
Evidence
Criminal Law
Criminal Procedure
State-Specific Topics:
Civil Procedure and Federal Jurisdiction
Agency
Consumer Protection
Commercial Paper
Corporations
Domestic Relations
Partnership
Professional Responsibility
Secured Transactions
Trusts
Wills
Plus all the Mass Distinctions in the Multistate topics.
And it all comes down to the next two days for me and others taking the Mass Bar.
BRING IT ON!!!!
(I also want to say my roommate Angie rocks because she bought me milk today. :) )
Blogger Alert
I want to give a shout out to my friend Ryann of Three Girls and A Guy. I stayed with her little family in DC the weekend before last. While I was there, me and my minions dragged her down into the dark recesses of the blogworld. Actually, she thought it would be a great way to keep her and her husband's families posted about the goings-on of their 2 little girls. So I hooked her up.
Yesterday Ryann posted pictures of her super-cute little girls. Emilie had me effectively wrapped around her little finger when towards the end of Sacrament Meeting she wrapped her arms around my legs and after I pulled her onto my lap, she nestled into me and gave me a huge hug.
Yesterday Ryann posted pictures of her super-cute little girls. Emilie had me effectively wrapped around her little finger when towards the end of Sacrament Meeting she wrapped her arms around my legs and after I pulled her onto my lap, she nestled into me and gave me a huge hug.
Well, This is Just Getting Annoying
I didn't sleep very well last night again. For 3 hours I lay there drifting in and out of this light sleep wherein I was having this long, continuous, very creepy dream. There was murder and creepy men skulking about who I thought were friendly, but then wound up being scary. You know those dreams that seem really real? Every time I drifted back to awakeness I would feel really scared that those creepy guys were in my room.
At about 2 AM I woke up hot and sweaty and decided this wasn't going to work. So I turned on the AC in the living room and spent the rest of the night on the couch. I checked the weather - 93% humidity. No wonder I was hot and sweaty.
I don't know how this is all going to be reflected in my studying today. I almost feel like maybe I should just review some stuff and call it a day. I'm going to go get a Diet Coke in a minute to help clear the fog out of my brain. I hope I can sleep tonight. Not being able to sleep before the Bar would probably be just about the worst thing ever (well, in my life right now. Not, say, compared to famine and war, but you know what I mean.)
Santa Cruz Jenn sent me an article about this to show me that things could be worse. I could be a Mormon old maid AND have really meddling friends. Thank you to all of my friends for being nicely aloof in my dating life.
At about 2 AM I woke up hot and sweaty and decided this wasn't going to work. So I turned on the AC in the living room and spent the rest of the night on the couch. I checked the weather - 93% humidity. No wonder I was hot and sweaty.
I don't know how this is all going to be reflected in my studying today. I almost feel like maybe I should just review some stuff and call it a day. I'm going to go get a Diet Coke in a minute to help clear the fog out of my brain. I hope I can sleep tonight. Not being able to sleep before the Bar would probably be just about the worst thing ever (well, in my life right now. Not, say, compared to famine and war, but you know what I mean.)
Santa Cruz Jenn sent me an article about this to show me that things could be worse. I could be a Mormon old maid AND have really meddling friends. Thank you to all of my friends for being nicely aloof in my dating life.
Monday, July 25, 2005
T minus 1 day and 11 hours
Today I:
Worked for 4 hours. If I bomb the state-specific essays, I will attribute it to these last couple of days of tiredness. Seriously, I would sit down and start going through my outlines and my eyes would start drooping and my mental focus was all shot. Looking forward to cramming a bunch of random info into short-term memory tomorrow. I did get through my Corporations cards though. Yippee.
So in the hours I wasn't studying, I read all my fellow Bar bloggers' good-bye and good luck posts.
Swam 90 laps. I was planning on 80, but I did 10 more, just to continue watching the HOTT guy 2 lanes over. Yes, he was 2 T's of hotness. Actually it was more that he was an awesome swimmer and had amazing blue eyes. You know, I really love the boys with the piercing blue eyes. If only they loved my big brown eyes as much. Of course then their blue eyes would probably be lost, but I have a 1 in 2 chance of being a carrier of the blue eye allele, which means there's a 1 in 4 chance we would have a kid with blue eyes (I think that's how it works out. I loved genetics, but never took statistics.)
And now I am drinking some varm meelk (as Frau Blucher would say) in the hopes that its properties will help me fall asleep tonight, since obviously the sedative powers of Benadryl do not work on my body anymore. Warm milk with a touch of vanilla was my dad's surefire cure when I couldn't get to sleep when I was little.
So I think I'll just go brush my teeth and toddle off to bed, with hopes of a more productive tomorrow.
Worked for 4 hours. If I bomb the state-specific essays, I will attribute it to these last couple of days of tiredness. Seriously, I would sit down and start going through my outlines and my eyes would start drooping and my mental focus was all shot. Looking forward to cramming a bunch of random info into short-term memory tomorrow. I did get through my Corporations cards though. Yippee.
So in the hours I wasn't studying, I read all my fellow Bar bloggers' good-bye and good luck posts.
Swam 90 laps. I was planning on 80, but I did 10 more, just to continue watching the HOTT guy 2 lanes over. Yes, he was 2 T's of hotness. Actually it was more that he was an awesome swimmer and had amazing blue eyes. You know, I really love the boys with the piercing blue eyes. If only they loved my big brown eyes as much. Of course then their blue eyes would probably be lost, but I have a 1 in 2 chance of being a carrier of the blue eye allele, which means there's a 1 in 4 chance we would have a kid with blue eyes (I think that's how it works out. I loved genetics, but never took statistics.)
And now I am drinking some varm meelk (as Frau Blucher would say) in the hopes that its properties will help me fall asleep tonight, since obviously the sedative powers of Benadryl do not work on my body anymore. Warm milk with a touch of vanilla was my dad's surefire cure when I couldn't get to sleep when I was little.
So I think I'll just go brush my teeth and toddle off to bed, with hopes of a more productive tomorrow.
Jokey
For some of us taking the Bar this is the funniest joke IN THE WORLD right now:
A pirate walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey, do you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?"
The pirate says, "ARRRG, and it's drivin' me nuts!"
Hee hee hee. I don't know why, but I laugh out loud when I think about it. Hopefully I won't think about it 2 hours into the MBE. Or maybe that would be a good thing. Lighten the tension and all that.
Last night I was up way too late and today I am so tired. I was exhausted, but my head was racing so I took a Benadryl to knock myself out. Benadryl has ALWAYS knocked me out. But last night, it failed me. I was wide awake. You know how some people get a stimulant effect when they take Benadryl or sleeping pills? Last night I was one of those people.
I worked for a couple of hours this morning, but I think my body has had it. After writing this I'm going to go through my outlines and keep attempting to memorize. I just don't think there's much more substantively that I can cram into my brain. And I can't be exhausted for the actual exam. I have to be in good shape for that.
I will be swimming tonight and tomorrow night, and hopefully Wednesday night as a release.
A pirate walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey, do you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?"
The pirate says, "ARRRG, and it's drivin' me nuts!"
Hee hee hee. I don't know why, but I laugh out loud when I think about it. Hopefully I won't think about it 2 hours into the MBE. Or maybe that would be a good thing. Lighten the tension and all that.
Last night I was up way too late and today I am so tired. I was exhausted, but my head was racing so I took a Benadryl to knock myself out. Benadryl has ALWAYS knocked me out. But last night, it failed me. I was wide awake. You know how some people get a stimulant effect when they take Benadryl or sleeping pills? Last night I was one of those people.
I worked for a couple of hours this morning, but I think my body has had it. After writing this I'm going to go through my outlines and keep attempting to memorize. I just don't think there's much more substantively that I can cram into my brain. And I can't be exhausted for the actual exam. I have to be in good shape for that.
I will be swimming tonight and tomorrow night, and hopefully Wednesday night as a release.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
The Horror
Here I am, 2 days and 12ish hours before the Bar:
Note the scraggly hair that hasn't seen a blow dryer or a round brush in days, the old cheapo gray shirt from K-Mart, and the tired droopy eyes that can't handle my contacts anymore. I've been told my glasses make me look smart. Maybe if I wear them on Wednesday and Thursday I can psych out the Bar Exam.
I'm just really glad you all can't see my eyebrows in detail because they are a mess. As is my complexion.
And here is what the Bar has done to my bedroom:
Note the scraggly hair that hasn't seen a blow dryer or a round brush in days, the old cheapo gray shirt from K-Mart, and the tired droopy eyes that can't handle my contacts anymore. I've been told my glasses make me look smart. Maybe if I wear them on Wednesday and Thursday I can psych out the Bar Exam.
I'm just really glad you all can't see my eyebrows in detail because they are a mess. As is my complexion.
And here is what the Bar has done to my bedroom:
If I Thought I Was Tired Last Night...
After working for 3 1/2 steady hours today, I was suddenly slammed with a giant wave of tired. I kept thinking "OK, I just need to get through Wills, then I can stop. Just get through Wills..." The Diet Coke I grabbed from the fridge helped a teensy bit. So I finished Wills and then wrote out a super-condensed Corporations outline, because I think it's pretty clear that the Corporations flashcards will only be gone through once in the next couple of days and then I'm done with that mess. I figure I know a bunch of the Corps stuff already from having worked in Corporate Law in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts for the past couple of years. I can fudge through the rest (fingers crossed).
I also did Civil Procedure this morning, which, once I got into it, wasn't as intimidating or intense as I thought it would be. I think I was worried because I was so freaking bored during the lectures and while making my notecards that I just assumed I would have a hard time getting what all the rules and things were getting at. Not so much.
So I came home. Tomorrow the roommates will be at work so I can study at home. I figured I could come home, take a shower, work on some essays, and eat something besides PB&J, cereal and apples.
Well, I took the shower and felt so much better. Clean is good. Then I pulled out the essay book. I looked over some that covered Agency, Evidence, Professional Responsibility, and Corporations and was actually feeling pretty darn good about how much I was getting just by casually reading through the problem. I still have 2 days to solidify some of the stuff, but I actually think I might make it.
Then the tiredness came back. So no more for today. I am taking the night off and starting afresh tomorrow. I'm sitting here with droopy eyelids, thinking about cooking my chicken with Wasabi teryaki sauce (Hooray for Trader Joe's!). I need to get back on a regular sleeping schedule so I don't oversleep on Wednesday (because then, you see, I'd have to kill myself). Tonight I plan to be in bed by 10 PM.
I can't even tell you how much I'm looking forward to the Bar being done. Of course, then it gets kind of scary because I have to find a job in DC so I can pay rent in DC so my future roommates don't hate me. And it's also kind of scary because I won't know for a very very long time if I passed the Bar.
I also did Civil Procedure this morning, which, once I got into it, wasn't as intimidating or intense as I thought it would be. I think I was worried because I was so freaking bored during the lectures and while making my notecards that I just assumed I would have a hard time getting what all the rules and things were getting at. Not so much.
So I came home. Tomorrow the roommates will be at work so I can study at home. I figured I could come home, take a shower, work on some essays, and eat something besides PB&J, cereal and apples.
Well, I took the shower and felt so much better. Clean is good. Then I pulled out the essay book. I looked over some that covered Agency, Evidence, Professional Responsibility, and Corporations and was actually feeling pretty darn good about how much I was getting just by casually reading through the problem. I still have 2 days to solidify some of the stuff, but I actually think I might make it.
Then the tiredness came back. So no more for today. I am taking the night off and starting afresh tomorrow. I'm sitting here with droopy eyelids, thinking about cooking my chicken with Wasabi teryaki sauce (Hooray for Trader Joe's!). I need to get back on a regular sleeping schedule so I don't oversleep on Wednesday (because then, you see, I'd have to kill myself). Tonight I plan to be in bed by 10 PM.
I can't even tell you how much I'm looking forward to the Bar being done. Of course, then it gets kind of scary because I have to find a job in DC so I can pay rent in DC so my future roommates don't hate me. And it's also kind of scary because I won't know for a very very long time if I passed the Bar.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
3 Days Eve
You know how in life you can read an article or a book and little snippets will stick in your head? Just those little random factoids that you can pull out occasionally during conversations?
I just realized that that's not happening in my head anymore. Any new little nuance of law that I read is basically just bouncing off of my brain and ricocheting back to the page. I really hope that what needs to be in there is there already because I don't think anything else is going in, beyond memorizing my mini outlines. But the mini outlines are pretty much stuff I already know.
Oh, does anyone have a handy-dandy tip for learning Civil Procedure quickly? I've been neglecting it and I have a feeling I may be screwed on a Civ Pro essay.
Mass hasn't tested Corporations on the last 2 Bars. So either this is the time, or I don't really need to know Corporations that well.
I think my will to continue with this is seeping away.
Tomorrow: finish the mini outlines
Monday: Memorize the short versions of the mini outlines so if I have no idea what to write, at least I can put something down on the page
Tuesday: Essay practice
I didn't intend to be done with the whole MBE thing, but I think I am. I'll do a few in each topic either Monday or Tuesday, but other than that I'm done. Eeek!
I was talking to a friend today (Hi, Laura!) and she said something that I've been thinking. Basically, we can study for this thing for another month or two months or longer and we're never going to know it all. I think you just reach a point and your brain is saturated and it doesn't matter what else you throw at it.
I already have BIG PLANS for when this is done.
Friday: Swim, massage, frivolous movie (I'm leaning toward Independence Day. It was on TBNTUSA a few weeks ago and I was reminded how fun that movie is. I love it. All the explosions and Will Smith with his funny hotness and Jeff Goldblum with his funny hotness and the explosions), quality time with my good friends Ben and Jerry, and either celebratory Chinese or Indian food for dinner. I'll tell you this much. If I get Chinese food I am totally ordering the large crab rangoon. Bring. It. On.
Saturday: Swim, get hair cut, start packing my giant piles of crap to move to DC.
Sunday: Church (which I'm missing tomorrow. Call me a heathen all you want, but I'll only be sitting there itching to get back to school to study), pack.
Monday: Swim, therapy ("it's about time!" the blogworld says as a whole), pack for California, Baby!
Tuesday: Fly to No Cal for 2 weeks.
Ta-dah!
Is it sad and pathetic that I need structure and plans for my leisure time? But see these are fun plans to make.
Edit: Holy cow, I forgot Harry Potter! OK, that will be getting read this weekend too.
I just realized that that's not happening in my head anymore. Any new little nuance of law that I read is basically just bouncing off of my brain and ricocheting back to the page. I really hope that what needs to be in there is there already because I don't think anything else is going in, beyond memorizing my mini outlines. But the mini outlines are pretty much stuff I already know.
Oh, does anyone have a handy-dandy tip for learning Civil Procedure quickly? I've been neglecting it and I have a feeling I may be screwed on a Civ Pro essay.
Mass hasn't tested Corporations on the last 2 Bars. So either this is the time, or I don't really need to know Corporations that well.
I think my will to continue with this is seeping away.
Tomorrow: finish the mini outlines
Monday: Memorize the short versions of the mini outlines so if I have no idea what to write, at least I can put something down on the page
Tuesday: Essay practice
I didn't intend to be done with the whole MBE thing, but I think I am. I'll do a few in each topic either Monday or Tuesday, but other than that I'm done. Eeek!
I was talking to a friend today (Hi, Laura!) and she said something that I've been thinking. Basically, we can study for this thing for another month or two months or longer and we're never going to know it all. I think you just reach a point and your brain is saturated and it doesn't matter what else you throw at it.
I already have BIG PLANS for when this is done.
Friday: Swim, massage, frivolous movie (I'm leaning toward Independence Day. It was on TBNTUSA a few weeks ago and I was reminded how fun that movie is. I love it. All the explosions and Will Smith with his funny hotness and Jeff Goldblum with his funny hotness and the explosions), quality time with my good friends Ben and Jerry, and either celebratory Chinese or Indian food for dinner. I'll tell you this much. If I get Chinese food I am totally ordering the large crab rangoon. Bring. It. On.
Saturday: Swim, get hair cut, start packing my giant piles of crap to move to DC.
Sunday: Church (which I'm missing tomorrow. Call me a heathen all you want, but I'll only be sitting there itching to get back to school to study), pack.
Monday: Swim, therapy ("it's about time!" the blogworld says as a whole), pack for California, Baby!
Tuesday: Fly to No Cal for 2 weeks.
Ta-dah!
Is it sad and pathetic that I need structure and plans for my leisure time? But see these are fun plans to make.
Edit: Holy cow, I forgot Harry Potter! OK, that will be getting read this weekend too.
Good Luck!
I just realized that some of the Cal Bar folks I've been chatting with are going to be taking off for flights and hotels and such in the next day or two. Thanks for all of your support and good luck!
Well, I Suppose I Was Due A Bar Nightmare
The part of the Bar that I am most nervous about is the essays, mostly because at this point, I don't really know the state-specific topics yet. YET. I have 4 days. A lot can happen in 4 days. Heck, day before yesterday I didn't really get Evidence, and then I studied it and then I rocked some PMBR questions, so don't tell me what I can and can't do in 4 days.
Um, where was I...?
Oh, right.
So last night I did sleep at school, which wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be and actually pretty darn handy. I feel like I'm in the zone. However, don't get me started on the super smart chatty guy from my Tax class who's studying in the room next door who was already here all showered and chipper when I woke up at 8 AM. I still think I got a better grade than him in Tax though because he was one of those people who was all, "That was SO hard!" after the final, while I was all, "Was it?" So I'm not going to let him initimidate me.
Anyway... (can we tell the only human contact I've had for the last 24 hours is with Stacy and Clinton on What Not To Wear last night?)
So last night I had a nightmare about the essay day. Basically we were given all 10 essays in one fell swoop, and it was a take-home. For some reason I went to my parents' apartment (in Chicago), and there were all these distractions, including some random family emergencies that I had to help out with. Despite all that I thought I was doing ok on time until I realized I had an hour left and I was only on number 5. And numbers 2 and 3 only had what law they were about jotted down. And I realized that I thought 2 of the essays were about Crim, but that couldn't be right.
Panic! So after I finish my mini-outlines, I'll be working on some more essays.
Um, where was I...?
Oh, right.
So last night I did sleep at school, which wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be and actually pretty darn handy. I feel like I'm in the zone. However, don't get me started on the super smart chatty guy from my Tax class who's studying in the room next door who was already here all showered and chipper when I woke up at 8 AM. I still think I got a better grade than him in Tax though because he was one of those people who was all, "That was SO hard!" after the final, while I was all, "Was it?" So I'm not going to let him initimidate me.
Anyway... (can we tell the only human contact I've had for the last 24 hours is with Stacy and Clinton on What Not To Wear last night?)
So last night I had a nightmare about the essay day. Basically we were given all 10 essays in one fell swoop, and it was a take-home. For some reason I went to my parents' apartment (in Chicago), and there were all these distractions, including some random family emergencies that I had to help out with. Despite all that I thought I was doing ok on time until I realized I had an hour left and I was only on number 5. And numbers 2 and 3 only had what law they were about jotted down. And I realized that I thought 2 of the essays were about Crim, but that couldn't be right.
Panic! So after I finish my mini-outlines, I'll be working on some more essays.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Weight Loss
I feel like I really haven't done enough today, but that's because I have a plan. I finished my Con Law mini-outline, which wound up being pretty long. Probably has something to do with the fact that I never quite understood Con Law while in law school. While I am a Crim savant, my Con Law essay attempts leave much to be desired. Here's hoping for a 7 on the Crim essay!
I just got back from the gym and then I'm going to pack up my stuff and see if it is possible to hole up in the school for 2 days without a) going crazy and/or b) getting my car towed. I just can't stay at home this weekend with my roommates rattling around and expect to get anything done.
Stress is good for my workout. I broke my record again: 32 in 13:30. And despite doing nothing but sitting on my butt and swimming for 45 minutes a few times a week for the past 7 weeks, I've lost 2 more pounds. And now I can share that I am officially under 190 (because I was too embarrassed before, but my sense of shame in the blogworld is pretty much non-existent at this point). I know that still sounds pretty heavy, right? Well it is. But there are extenuating circumstances.
First, I've been swimming since I was 6 and my legs are basically big heavy trunks of muscle. Oh sure, right now there's cellulite on my thighs, but you know the weight machines where you push out with your thighs and squeeze in with your thighs? I can do 90 pounds+ on those like it's nothing.
Second, due to the muscle thing and being a pear, I usually look about 20 pounds lighter than I am. When I was 200 the few people I shared that fact with were like, "Nuh-uh!" According to those weight/height charts, I'm supposed to be around 130. I was 130 once after surgery and I looked awful! I'm shooting for 150-160. So I still have 29-39 pounds to lose. However, I've lost 41 pounds to date. Hurrah!
I just got back from the gym and then I'm going to pack up my stuff and see if it is possible to hole up in the school for 2 days without a) going crazy and/or b) getting my car towed. I just can't stay at home this weekend with my roommates rattling around and expect to get anything done.
Stress is good for my workout. I broke my record again: 32 in 13:30. And despite doing nothing but sitting on my butt and swimming for 45 minutes a few times a week for the past 7 weeks, I've lost 2 more pounds. And now I can share that I am officially under 190 (because I was too embarrassed before, but my sense of shame in the blogworld is pretty much non-existent at this point). I know that still sounds pretty heavy, right? Well it is. But there are extenuating circumstances.
First, I've been swimming since I was 6 and my legs are basically big heavy trunks of muscle. Oh sure, right now there's cellulite on my thighs, but you know the weight machines where you push out with your thighs and squeeze in with your thighs? I can do 90 pounds+ on those like it's nothing.
Second, due to the muscle thing and being a pear, I usually look about 20 pounds lighter than I am. When I was 200 the few people I shared that fact with were like, "Nuh-uh!" According to those weight/height charts, I'm supposed to be around 130. I was 130 once after surgery and I looked awful! I'm shooting for 150-160. So I still have 29-39 pounds to lose. However, I've lost 41 pounds to date. Hurrah!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
It's Getting Weird In My Head
Watching The Simpsons tonight: Snake got the death penalty under a three-strikes law.
My response: That is SOOO unconstitutional. The death penalty can't be an automatic punishment.
Yeah.
My response: That is SOOO unconstitutional. The death penalty can't be an automatic punishment.
Yeah.
Feeling OK Today Because...
I had a nice calming phone call this morning from San Francisco Jenn. She took the Cal Bar last year (and passed!), so comparatively speaking I really have nothing to complain about. She gave me some of her tips and reassured me that I'm smart and I made it through law school and I WILL PASS.
I also just finished reviewing Evidence and did a bunch of PMBR questions and got 72%, which I'm very happy about. Context: PMBR questions are generally harder than the actual MBE, and yesterday I was getting somewhere in the 60 percents for my Contracts questions. And Evidence was totally my weak point during the practice MBE at the beginning of July.
I've decided that breaking up the memorization by writing small outlines (per SF Jenn's suggestion) is helping me not to freak out. There's only so much flashcard flipping a girl can take.
I also just finished reviewing Evidence and did a bunch of PMBR questions and got 72%, which I'm very happy about. Context: PMBR questions are generally harder than the actual MBE, and yesterday I was getting somewhere in the 60 percents for my Contracts questions. And Evidence was totally my weak point during the practice MBE at the beginning of July.
I've decided that breaking up the memorization by writing small outlines (per SF Jenn's suggestion) is helping me not to freak out. There's only so much flashcard flipping a girl can take.
This is Your Brain. This is the Bar. This is Your Brain on the Bar. Any Questions?
I am so proud of myself. While studying Evidence this morning I came up with my very own acronym for self-authenticating documents: CONTAC
Certified copies of public or business records
Official publications
Newspapers and periodicals
Trade inscriptions
Acknowledged documents
Commercial paper and other related documents
Ta-dah! Maybe someone else has come up with that one already, but I hadn't seen it before.
Certified copies of public or business records
Official publications
Newspapers and periodicals
Trade inscriptions
Acknowledged documents
Commercial paper and other related documents
Ta-dah! Maybe someone else has come up with that one already, but I hadn't seen it before.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
I'm Not Dead Yet
I went swimming and feel a little more zen (comparitively speaking. I mean, I'm still a walking freakshow ball of Bar stress, but compared to how I felt a few hours ago, I'm much better). I came home, ate dinner, finished reviewing my Contracts cards, and did some MBE questions. I feel a teensy bit better about this whole Contracts thing. However, it really sucks when you get a fact pattern that 3-5 questions are based on and the questions all hinge on you understanding some kind of obscure point of law. Has anyone else had that problem? I got like 8 right in a row and then missed 3 because I had no idea what the fact pattern was getting at. Or at least I thought I knew what the fact pattern was getting at, but none of the questions asked the question that I thought they would. I hate that.
Lost is on in 33 minutes. It's my one must-see of the week.
Everybody say a little prayer for me that our power stays on tonight. It was another HOT day and I really don't want to try to sleep again with no AC.
Lost is on in 33 minutes. It's my one must-see of the week.
Everybody say a little prayer for me that our power stays on tonight. It was another HOT day and I really don't want to try to sleep again with no AC.
Mormon Rules
You know, I've decided it sucks that I don't drink. Because long about 6 PM on July 28th, I think a margarita would just hit the spot.
Oh Crap
What does it mean when I'm doing badly even on the subjects I most recently reviewed?
I'll tell you what I THINK it means. I'm failing the Bar! I can't even keep straight the stuff I just memorized off my flashcards 10 minutes ago even though I felt all confident and like I had it when I was memorizing it!
Do you think Torts and Contracts in one day is expecting too much of myself?
Do you think there's a chance that if I let this stuff percolate in my head for awhile that some of it will seep in?
How is it that despite all the work I've done thus far, I don't feel like I've done ANYthing and I'm kicking myself for not pulling 12 hour days for the last 6 weeks?
What if I just have a really bad memory and it's impossible for me to pass the Bar? I mean, I do have to write EVERYthing down in my life. Maybe I'm only good at the law if I have Westlaw and outlines as backup.
I'll tell you what I THINK it means. I'm failing the Bar! I can't even keep straight the stuff I just memorized off my flashcards 10 minutes ago even though I felt all confident and like I had it when I was memorizing it!
Do you think Torts and Contracts in one day is expecting too much of myself?
Do you think there's a chance that if I let this stuff percolate in my head for awhile that some of it will seep in?
How is it that despite all the work I've done thus far, I don't feel like I've done ANYthing and I'm kicking myself for not pulling 12 hour days for the last 6 weeks?
What if I just have a really bad memory and it's impossible for me to pass the Bar? I mean, I do have to write EVERYthing down in my life. Maybe I'm only good at the law if I have Westlaw and outlines as backup.
Do You Ever Feel Like the Fates Are Conspiring Against You?
The power went out last night for 6 hours. That's right, following one of the hottest, muggiest days of the summer, we had no AC or fans in our stifling 3rd-floor apartment from 10:30 PM to 4:30 AM. I can't sleep well when I'm hot and sweaty. I could never have been a Southern belle. When everything came back on at 4:30, I woke right up from the little sleep I did get and couldn't get back to sleep until 5:30.
Can someone please inform NStar that when it gets hot people WILL be using their AC's, thus increasing the power demand? I know, we're crazy with the climate control. Actually, power outages have been an ongoing problem in this apartment. A little grid of about 8 homes, including the one I live in, loses power at least once a month. At least. So it's basically a given that if a home is going to lose power based on the overwhelming demand, it will be ours. I would really hate it if I actually owned one of these homes and discovered after closing and moving in and everything that the power goes out constantly.
Anyway, what with the power last night, the flights this weekend, the unexpected interview, and the Bally's pool breaking down so that for several days I couldn't swim and my head was a mess of panic and cloudiness, I'm starting to think that maybe this whole Bar thing just isn't something I'm supposed to do.
Yet I plug along because, well, because if I don't then I'll never ever ever find a job and be dubbed a slacker for the rest of my life. Seriously, wasn't graduating from law school enough?
The corner store is having a 2 12-packs of Diet Coke for $5 special, so I just loaded up on caffeine for the week. I squeeze a little key lime juice in and I'm good to go.
Question for other Barbri people: How many of the Advanced MBE questions are we supposed to be getting right exactly? Because, frankly, I am sucking at them.
Can someone please inform NStar that when it gets hot people WILL be using their AC's, thus increasing the power demand? I know, we're crazy with the climate control. Actually, power outages have been an ongoing problem in this apartment. A little grid of about 8 homes, including the one I live in, loses power at least once a month. At least. So it's basically a given that if a home is going to lose power based on the overwhelming demand, it will be ours. I would really hate it if I actually owned one of these homes and discovered after closing and moving in and everything that the power goes out constantly.
Anyway, what with the power last night, the flights this weekend, the unexpected interview, and the Bally's pool breaking down so that for several days I couldn't swim and my head was a mess of panic and cloudiness, I'm starting to think that maybe this whole Bar thing just isn't something I'm supposed to do.
Yet I plug along because, well, because if I don't then I'll never ever ever find a job and be dubbed a slacker for the rest of my life. Seriously, wasn't graduating from law school enough?
The corner store is having a 2 12-packs of Diet Coke for $5 special, so I just loaded up on caffeine for the week. I squeeze a little key lime juice in and I'm good to go.
Question for other Barbri people: How many of the Advanced MBE questions are we supposed to be getting right exactly? Because, frankly, I am sucking at them.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Latest
So I was going to be all pithy and just write four or five cutesy lines about what's been going on, but I've decided to write a full post after all. Mostly because I've given myself until 8 PM to pull myself together and churn through a few more hours of studying.
The Interview
Because I have the pleasure of sharing a name with a rock star's former girlfriend, a woman who writes a bunch of Amazon reviews, a wedding planner in Florida, and a really good swimmer girl in Hawaii, I think it might be quite a feat if the people I interviewed with Googled me and found this blog. So I'll be honest. The interview was okay. I like what they had to say about the firm in that it's a smaller firm and they are very collegial and extended family-esque. The question is, do I want to do the work?
I met with 5 people. The first was the woman I had talked to on the phone and I liked her a lot. The second we'll call Stoic Man. Although I did get him to crack a half-smile at the end, I'm just not entirely sure if that smile was with me or at me. The third person was very laid-back. So much so that when the fourth person popped in early because he had a conference call, he asked Mellow Man if he was on drugs. When I asked for a business card, and Mellow Man said they were all in his office and he'd bring me one, the fourth man said "Yeah, he's rolling doobies with them" The fourth man seemed like intense lawyer guy, but maybe that was just because he was rushing to get to his conference call. The fifth guy was really nice and chatty.
They all described the work as mundane and tedious at times, consisting heavily of filling out forms or pre-written documents with the appropriate numbers and party names. I feel like I would be interested in learning how it all works for a bit, but I just don't know if I have the long-term desire to work in this area that they're looking for. So we'll see. Maybe I'll get a thanks but no thanks letter next week and that will be that. If they do call me in for a callback, I'll go. I'd really like to talk with some of the junior associates at that point and get the real story. Besides, it's a job. And right now, those are scarce in my life.
The Flight
Once again, bad weather somewhere between DC and Boston grounded my plane. I think it's all in Pennsylvania. I have bad luck with weather in Pennsylvania. In the past year I've driven across Pennsylvania 4 times and 3 of those times it rained HARD on me the whole way. Last summer I went to Pennsylvania Amish Country for a day and it rained all day.
We left the gate 2 hours late and then sat at the end of the runway for another hour. Well, I got a bunch of MBE questions done at least.
We arrived in Boston to soaring temperatures and humidity. Honestly, it felt hotter in the T station, as the sweat dripped down my back, than it did the whole time I was walking around DC yesterday. I envied the girl standing next to me on the Red Line platform in the light cotton sundress. I was not a pretty picture when I got home and ripped off all of my clothing to put on shorts and a T-shirt as quickly as possible.
In addition to Boston not understanding the concept of Central Air, I was once again reminded of why I'm SO HAPPY I'm leaving this miserable town. Last time I got back from DC I got bumped and pushed and shoved as I took the 2 seconds to lift my suitcase onto the train. Today it was even before I entered the airport. I came out of my row on the plane, popped open the overhead compartment and reached up for my bag. 2 ladies behind me decided that this would be the perfect time to shove past me, pushing me into the back of the seat, and making it impossible to take my bag down without hitting them in the head. Maybe I should have. I just looked at one of them and asked in an irritated tone, "Could you wait?" She just looked at me and walked on.
I proceeded to physically block the third woman who was trying to push past me and got my bag down.
Seriously, people! We have all been waiting the same amount of time to get to Boston. It doesn't mean we have to shove our Bostonian sense of entitlement in each others faces.
The Stress
In the meantime, the Bar is a week from tomorrow and I am officially hitting panic mode. I did manage to get everything done this weekend that I intended to, despite being trapped in airports and going to and from the interview and spending time with a few friends. However, it's not as much as I would have done if I had been sitting at home plugging away. I feel so behind and like I don't know anything and nothing is going to stick well enough for me to write a coherent essay.
I also don't know exactly where I'm going to study this weekend. One of my roommates has work off on Friday so she'll be rattling around, which is always distracting. Then, the one AC unit that cools off the dining room and the living room is located in the living room where the TV is and if either of my roommates wants to watch TV, they'll close the door between the two rooms, which means the dining room will get unbearably hot in a matter of minutes. Plus, in order to hear the TV over the AC, it has to be up so loud that I can hear it in the dining room even with my earplugs in.
I thought about going to the BSA office, but a friend told me she thinks they lock up the entire school tight for the weekend. Honestly, I'm thinking about taking some food, blankets, and a pillow and sleeping there. I HAVE to get a lot of work done this weekend. I can go without showering for a couple of days.
The Interview
Because I have the pleasure of sharing a name with a rock star's former girlfriend, a woman who writes a bunch of Amazon reviews, a wedding planner in Florida, and a really good swimmer girl in Hawaii, I think it might be quite a feat if the people I interviewed with Googled me and found this blog. So I'll be honest. The interview was okay. I like what they had to say about the firm in that it's a smaller firm and they are very collegial and extended family-esque. The question is, do I want to do the work?
I met with 5 people. The first was the woman I had talked to on the phone and I liked her a lot. The second we'll call Stoic Man. Although I did get him to crack a half-smile at the end, I'm just not entirely sure if that smile was with me or at me. The third person was very laid-back. So much so that when the fourth person popped in early because he had a conference call, he asked Mellow Man if he was on drugs. When I asked for a business card, and Mellow Man said they were all in his office and he'd bring me one, the fourth man said "Yeah, he's rolling doobies with them" The fourth man seemed like intense lawyer guy, but maybe that was just because he was rushing to get to his conference call. The fifth guy was really nice and chatty.
They all described the work as mundane and tedious at times, consisting heavily of filling out forms or pre-written documents with the appropriate numbers and party names. I feel like I would be interested in learning how it all works for a bit, but I just don't know if I have the long-term desire to work in this area that they're looking for. So we'll see. Maybe I'll get a thanks but no thanks letter next week and that will be that. If they do call me in for a callback, I'll go. I'd really like to talk with some of the junior associates at that point and get the real story. Besides, it's a job. And right now, those are scarce in my life.
The Flight
Once again, bad weather somewhere between DC and Boston grounded my plane. I think it's all in Pennsylvania. I have bad luck with weather in Pennsylvania. In the past year I've driven across Pennsylvania 4 times and 3 of those times it rained HARD on me the whole way. Last summer I went to Pennsylvania Amish Country for a day and it rained all day.
We left the gate 2 hours late and then sat at the end of the runway for another hour. Well, I got a bunch of MBE questions done at least.
We arrived in Boston to soaring temperatures and humidity. Honestly, it felt hotter in the T station, as the sweat dripped down my back, than it did the whole time I was walking around DC yesterday. I envied the girl standing next to me on the Red Line platform in the light cotton sundress. I was not a pretty picture when I got home and ripped off all of my clothing to put on shorts and a T-shirt as quickly as possible.
In addition to Boston not understanding the concept of Central Air, I was once again reminded of why I'm SO HAPPY I'm leaving this miserable town. Last time I got back from DC I got bumped and pushed and shoved as I took the 2 seconds to lift my suitcase onto the train. Today it was even before I entered the airport. I came out of my row on the plane, popped open the overhead compartment and reached up for my bag. 2 ladies behind me decided that this would be the perfect time to shove past me, pushing me into the back of the seat, and making it impossible to take my bag down without hitting them in the head. Maybe I should have. I just looked at one of them and asked in an irritated tone, "Could you wait?" She just looked at me and walked on.
I proceeded to physically block the third woman who was trying to push past me and got my bag down.
Seriously, people! We have all been waiting the same amount of time to get to Boston. It doesn't mean we have to shove our Bostonian sense of entitlement in each others faces.
The Stress
In the meantime, the Bar is a week from tomorrow and I am officially hitting panic mode. I did manage to get everything done this weekend that I intended to, despite being trapped in airports and going to and from the interview and spending time with a few friends. However, it's not as much as I would have done if I had been sitting at home plugging away. I feel so behind and like I don't know anything and nothing is going to stick well enough for me to write a coherent essay.
I also don't know exactly where I'm going to study this weekend. One of my roommates has work off on Friday so she'll be rattling around, which is always distracting. Then, the one AC unit that cools off the dining room and the living room is located in the living room where the TV is and if either of my roommates wants to watch TV, they'll close the door between the two rooms, which means the dining room will get unbearably hot in a matter of minutes. Plus, in order to hear the TV over the AC, it has to be up so loud that I can hear it in the dining room even with my earplugs in.
I thought about going to the BSA office, but a friend told me she thinks they lock up the entire school tight for the weekend. Honestly, I'm thinking about taking some food, blankets, and a pillow and sleeping there. I HAVE to get a lot of work done this weekend. I can go without showering for a couple of days.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
New Apartment
Today I went over to my new place to have dinner with one of my future roommates and to check out my new digs. I like the apartment a lot. I am excited because:
- I get my own bathroom
- My closet is huge
- We have a washer and dryer
- The downstairs is basically my domain and is 5 degrees cooler than the rest of the apartment
- Which really doesn't matter all that much, except for the fact that I like to be cool when I go to sleep, because the place has CENTRAL AIR
- We have an actual back porch with a nice little table and chairs and an actual backyard AND a screen door (I love the South. I realize DC isn't exactly the South, but there's a screen door!)
- Not only do we have a backyard, but my roommates have already started little gardening endeavors and I am determined to put in some bulbs this fall
- The whole place feels homey
And the best part of the new apartment is someone I'm not going to share with you all just yet. We have a roommate we weren't exactly planning on and I am taking no end of delight from him. You all will have to wait until I move at the end of August and take some snapshots of him. But it will be worth it. Oh yes. It will be worth it.
- I get my own bathroom
- My closet is huge
- We have a washer and dryer
- The downstairs is basically my domain and is 5 degrees cooler than the rest of the apartment
- Which really doesn't matter all that much, except for the fact that I like to be cool when I go to sleep, because the place has CENTRAL AIR
- We have an actual back porch with a nice little table and chairs and an actual backyard AND a screen door (I love the South. I realize DC isn't exactly the South, but there's a screen door!)
- Not only do we have a backyard, but my roommates have already started little gardening endeavors and I am determined to put in some bulbs this fall
- The whole place feels homey
And the best part of the new apartment is someone I'm not going to share with you all just yet. We have a roommate we weren't exactly planning on and I am taking no end of delight from him. You all will have to wait until I move at the end of August and take some snapshots of him. But it will be worth it. Oh yes. It will be worth it.
Airplane Sob Story
It's almost 2 AM and I'm not in bed yet. Why? Because my plane that was supposed to leave at 4:20 PM didn't leave Boston until 10 PM. Which means we got to DC at about 11:30, due to all the random machinations the pilot had to make to maneuver around the thunderstorms. And can I just say that it is NEVER a good feeling to look outside your airplane window and see lightning?
So then Ryann, who is a saint (Hi, Ryann!), and I finally met up at 11:45 after I RAN through Dulles. Why when there are all of 8 planes at the airport did they park us at the gate that was many moving walkways and escalators down and up and then down again and then, look, we're going up again, from the exit?
I haven't seen Ryann in 6 years so we chatted for a bit. Since I was supposed to be here at 6 PM, that would have worked out GREAT then. As it is, we're both going to be very tired tomorrow.
I'm feeling a wee bit frustrated with the Bar progress for the day. I finished memorizing the Con Law flashcards and managed to do a bunch of Crim and Con Law PMBR questions, which made me very happy and feel like maybe I will pass this thing if I can get ALL the subjects learned as well.
Then I started on Property. I pulled out the future interests cards and started memorizing. I feel like I got those pretty down, but nothing else. Between my vast annoyance at the weather, Dulles, and Independence Air, specifically, I was too keyed up to be very productive. Add to that having to call Ryann every time they pushed our flight back a bit more. I also called a couple of other people to try to keep from screaming.
Did you all realize airports are very loud? I always bring earplugs when I travel, but even with those in I could hear the lady at the ticket counter across the way yelling intermittently, "Sir, will you please calm down!" (Oh yeah, did I mention there was a flight that was supposed to take off an hour after ours that they just outright canceled?) To add to my pain, there were signs and posters and actual copies of the sixth Harry Potter book all over the airport. I resisted. Harry Potter will not even be glanced at until after the Bar. July 29th I will be heading to Barnes and Nble.
I had my copy of Little Women with me, which I've been reading for 20 minutes every night before I go to bed in order to relax enough to fall asleep so I gave up on Property because memorization was just not happening, and started reading, figuring I could work on the flashcards on the plane.
No. I was in the row with the cute and very very tired little family. 2 parents and 4 little kids, including an 18-month old who had obviously had just about enough from Independence Air and screamed for, oh, 2/3 of the flight to Dulles.
So I've got future interests down. Hurrah.
Now I'm going to bed.
So then Ryann, who is a saint (Hi, Ryann!), and I finally met up at 11:45 after I RAN through Dulles. Why when there are all of 8 planes at the airport did they park us at the gate that was many moving walkways and escalators down and up and then down again and then, look, we're going up again, from the exit?
I haven't seen Ryann in 6 years so we chatted for a bit. Since I was supposed to be here at 6 PM, that would have worked out GREAT then. As it is, we're both going to be very tired tomorrow.
I'm feeling a wee bit frustrated with the Bar progress for the day. I finished memorizing the Con Law flashcards and managed to do a bunch of Crim and Con Law PMBR questions, which made me very happy and feel like maybe I will pass this thing if I can get ALL the subjects learned as well.
Then I started on Property. I pulled out the future interests cards and started memorizing. I feel like I got those pretty down, but nothing else. Between my vast annoyance at the weather, Dulles, and Independence Air, specifically, I was too keyed up to be very productive. Add to that having to call Ryann every time they pushed our flight back a bit more. I also called a couple of other people to try to keep from screaming.
Did you all realize airports are very loud? I always bring earplugs when I travel, but even with those in I could hear the lady at the ticket counter across the way yelling intermittently, "Sir, will you please calm down!" (Oh yeah, did I mention there was a flight that was supposed to take off an hour after ours that they just outright canceled?) To add to my pain, there were signs and posters and actual copies of the sixth Harry Potter book all over the airport. I resisted. Harry Potter will not even be glanced at until after the Bar. July 29th I will be heading to Barnes and Nble.
I had my copy of Little Women with me, which I've been reading for 20 minutes every night before I go to bed in order to relax enough to fall asleep so I gave up on Property because memorization was just not happening, and started reading, figuring I could work on the flashcards on the plane.
No. I was in the row with the cute and very very tired little family. 2 parents and 4 little kids, including an 18-month old who had obviously had just about enough from Independence Air and screamed for, oh, 2/3 of the flight to Dulles.
So I've got future interests down. Hurrah.
Now I'm going to bed.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Cooking To Hook Up
Thanks to AimeeRoo for this quiz. Every girl should take it because all the cool kids are.
I wasn't so sure about the labels, but once I read the descriptions, some of that stuff really fit:
Progressive Girl:
Progressive Girls want the world to be a better place, but they live out their politics in a moderate, left-of-center way
Pretty much.
She drives: a small SUV but really wishes it got better mileage; once she can get a good hybrid, she will.
No, I drive a Focus. BUT, as I'm sure several of my friends can attest to, I have often said that my next car will be the Escape hybrid. Small SUV AND a hybrid.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: just about anything.
This is pretty much why I rock at Trivial Pursuit.
She owns any of the following: a water filter, a tabletop fountain, an acre of rain forest, a mutt from the pound.
Have: water filter. Want: a mutt or kitty from the pound.
Progressive Girl:
You can boil the Indie Girl down to two words: cultural literacy. Or how about these two: media consumption.
I think my familiarity with Hal Sparks in his role as VH1 special commentator will back that up.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: obscure pop culture.
I'm not really sure about obscure, but I'm a pop culture goddess.
She begins her sentences with: "It's like that Simpsons episode . . ."
Hi, I AM Lisa Simpson.
She'd never: drive a mini-van.
Mini-vans are of the devil. I've said so for many years. I am fully convinced that my death will somehow involve a mini-van because every accident I've almost gotten into has been with a mini-van.
She owns any of the following: TiVo, a mini-DV camera, an iPod, a pottery wheel, a serger, or a lava lamp.
Own: iPod. Want: TiVo. Someday would like to learn: to use a pottery wheel and a serger.
I think one of the main reasons I got Indie Girl is because I said my dream date is tickets to a Pixies concert and Thai food. If any man showed up with Pixies tickets I would just melt!
I have to admit, though, I was torn between that and eating dinner with the locals on a Caribbean island after a day exploring the beaches.
And now, I'm off to DC for my interview. My Con Law and Property cards are coming too. I'm excited because I get to see my old college roommate Ryann and her family, as well as everyone's favorite, Jordan Baker. Wish me luck on the interview AND on getting actual studying done this weekend.
I am a hybrid of: Progressive Girl Indie Girl Click on the pictures below to read more:
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I wasn't so sure about the labels, but once I read the descriptions, some of that stuff really fit:
Progressive Girl:
Progressive Girls want the world to be a better place, but they live out their politics in a moderate, left-of-center way
Pretty much.
She drives: a small SUV but really wishes it got better mileage; once she can get a good hybrid, she will.
No, I drive a Focus. BUT, as I'm sure several of my friends can attest to, I have often said that my next car will be the Escape hybrid. Small SUV AND a hybrid.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: just about anything.
This is pretty much why I rock at Trivial Pursuit.
She owns any of the following: a water filter, a tabletop fountain, an acre of rain forest, a mutt from the pound.
Have: water filter. Want: a mutt or kitty from the pound.
Progressive Girl:
You can boil the Indie Girl down to two words: cultural literacy. Or how about these two: media consumption.
I think my familiarity with Hal Sparks in his role as VH1 special commentator will back that up.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: obscure pop culture.
I'm not really sure about obscure, but I'm a pop culture goddess.
She begins her sentences with: "It's like that Simpsons episode . . ."
Hi, I AM Lisa Simpson.
She'd never: drive a mini-van.
Mini-vans are of the devil. I've said so for many years. I am fully convinced that my death will somehow involve a mini-van because every accident I've almost gotten into has been with a mini-van.
She owns any of the following: TiVo, a mini-DV camera, an iPod, a pottery wheel, a serger, or a lava lamp.
Own: iPod. Want: TiVo. Someday would like to learn: to use a pottery wheel and a serger.
I think one of the main reasons I got Indie Girl is because I said my dream date is tickets to a Pixies concert and Thai food. If any man showed up with Pixies tickets I would just melt!
I have to admit, though, I was torn between that and eating dinner with the locals on a Caribbean island after a day exploring the beaches.
And now, I'm off to DC for my interview. My Con Law and Property cards are coming too. I'm excited because I get to see my old college roommate Ryann and her family, as well as everyone's favorite, Jordan Baker. Wish me luck on the interview AND on getting actual studying done this weekend.
Friday, July 15, 2005
PMBR CD's: Officially Useless
I popped in the first Con Law PMBR CD as I drove to Target tonight. Why am I ditching out on my studying to go to Target you may ask? Because I have an interview in DC on Monday and I had a nightmare last night that because I was so wrapped up in studying for the Bar I showed up without copies of my revised resume, without a transcript, and without a writing sample. The transcripts came in the mail on Wednesday, so those are all set. However, I ran out of printer paper about a month ago so I had to go buy some at Target.
Note to PMBR: could you find some lecturers whose voices don't make me want to escape from the car because the nasalness - oh the nasalness! - hurts my ears?
In the 40 minute trip to and from Target, I decided that the PMBR CD's are useless at this point. I have also listened to Property and Contracts, but really haven't found them helpful because it's all passive learning. I'm not taking notes on them because I already have a big pile of Barbri notes, thank you, so am I supposed to be learning by osmosis, or what? I find I remember the hypos because they're funny, especially the Contracts ones, but I don't really remember the lesson I was supposed to learn from them.
I've been studying Con Law today and in the first 15 minutes of the CD, the guy lectured on some issues in a completely different order and then added some peripheral items that are not in my flashcards and that I am just not going to worry about at this point. So basically, he's confusing me and making me panic. Yeah, that's doing me a lot of good.
So what have I gotten for the $325 I paid to PMBR? CD's that I have only marginally used and have now determined will only confuse me, a 3-day class I am going to miss because I wound up getting an unexpected interview, and two big mother books of questions that tend to make me angry, especially when the answer they want cites a case and explains that the only possible way I could have known the correct answer was because OF COURSE I know this obscure case from the 7th Circuit. Other than Roe v. Wade, Planned Parenthood v. Casey, and MAYBE Plyler v. Doe, I do not plan to know any cases for this test. I have appreciated having the PMBR questions, overall, but those are not worth $325, in my opinion.
I have sent all my loved ones an Exculpatory Email (yes, that was the subject line. I am a law geek) explaining that I do love them, but they may or may not hear from me until after the 28th.
Note to PMBR: could you find some lecturers whose voices don't make me want to escape from the car because the nasalness - oh the nasalness! - hurts my ears?
In the 40 minute trip to and from Target, I decided that the PMBR CD's are useless at this point. I have also listened to Property and Contracts, but really haven't found them helpful because it's all passive learning. I'm not taking notes on them because I already have a big pile of Barbri notes, thank you, so am I supposed to be learning by osmosis, or what? I find I remember the hypos because they're funny, especially the Contracts ones, but I don't really remember the lesson I was supposed to learn from them.
I've been studying Con Law today and in the first 15 minutes of the CD, the guy lectured on some issues in a completely different order and then added some peripheral items that are not in my flashcards and that I am just not going to worry about at this point. So basically, he's confusing me and making me panic. Yeah, that's doing me a lot of good.
So what have I gotten for the $325 I paid to PMBR? CD's that I have only marginally used and have now determined will only confuse me, a 3-day class I am going to miss because I wound up getting an unexpected interview, and two big mother books of questions that tend to make me angry, especially when the answer they want cites a case and explains that the only possible way I could have known the correct answer was because OF COURSE I know this obscure case from the 7th Circuit. Other than Roe v. Wade, Planned Parenthood v. Casey, and MAYBE Plyler v. Doe, I do not plan to know any cases for this test. I have appreciated having the PMBR questions, overall, but those are not worth $325, in my opinion.
I have sent all my loved ones an Exculpatory Email (yes, that was the subject line. I am a law geek) explaining that I do love them, but they may or may not hear from me until after the 28th.
This is Not A Rhetorical Question
To everyone else taking the Bar: HOW are we supposed to keep all this information in our heads?
Seriously. I was feeling good yesterday, finished Crim Law and Crim Pro, did some questions, did a couple of essays. Feeling like I can adequately perform.
Today I'm doing Con Law and cramming another 100+ flashcards into my head.
I am terrified that come July 27th, I will have no memory of Crim Law and Crim Pro anymore. I'll practice and do some MBE questions every night, but as the topics stack up, how in the world are we supposed to keep all this information in?
Seriously. I was feeling good yesterday, finished Crim Law and Crim Pro, did some questions, did a couple of essays. Feeling like I can adequately perform.
Today I'm doing Con Law and cramming another 100+ flashcards into my head.
I am terrified that come July 27th, I will have no memory of Crim Law and Crim Pro anymore. I'll practice and do some MBE questions every night, but as the topics stack up, how in the world are we supposed to keep all this information in?
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Don't Be Pro-Ana
As if the pictures of Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie aren't scary enough, apparently there's a whole movement out there extolling the virtues of eating disorders. I found this article very disturbing.
Diet
So I'm not eating sugar, but I've decided not to feel guilty about eating until after the Bar. I don't know if it's the stress or what, but I am hungry ALL the time and I want something sweet ALL the time. I bought these awesome sugar-free cookies, but I realize sugar-free does not equal calorie-free and I think I'm eating at least 2 servings every time I stick my hand in the little packages. Whatever.
I also saw BBQ Frito spirals at the market this morning and almost reached out my hand to grab a bag. But I resisted. So it's not like I'm eating crap. I'm just eating more.
My new favorite thing: Whole Wheat Potato Bread. I love Potato Bread and the fact that I've found it in Whole Wheat makes me so happy I just can't even express it.
It's the small things, really.
I also saw BBQ Frito spirals at the market this morning and almost reached out my hand to grab a bag. But I resisted. So it's not like I'm eating crap. I'm just eating more.
My new favorite thing: Whole Wheat Potato Bread. I love Potato Bread and the fact that I've found it in Whole Wheat makes me so happy I just can't even express it.
It's the small things, really.
Dirty, Dirty Professor Schechter
Today's Barbri class was on Domestic Relations, and it probably counted as one of the more ribald Barbri lectures to date. Prof. Schechter did our Torts lecture as well and was hilarious then too.
First hypo:
Fraud is a voidable grounds of annulment. Fraudulently representing your sexual proclivities counts. The example he gave concerned a couple who waited until marriage to have sex. One night at dinner the two of them talked about sex and Wanda asked Harry what he envisioned their sex life would be like. Harry replied that he saw them having regular, all-American sex.
Moving on to the wedding night, Wanda changes into a negligee and when she comes into the bedroom, there Harry sits on the bed wearing Pampers and holding a bottle of Wesson oil.
Now this is voidable because Wanda could freak out and rush out and get an annulment
OR
she could waive the fraud claim by smiling and saying, "Someone's been a naughty boy..." etc
Next hypo:
Physical impotency is a grounds for divorce in Massachusetts. It must be incurable. The professor said that the guy can't offer a defense by saying something like "Yeah, judge, but check it out, I can lick my eyebrows."
{Pause}
"Explain that one to your neighbor."
Dirty dirty. And probably a sign of my mental state that I'm still giggling. Apparently I've descended to 12 year-old boy.
Last day of class and the Bar is in 12 1/2 days. Argh-a! (that's for Santa Cruz Jenn)
First hypo:
Fraud is a voidable grounds of annulment. Fraudulently representing your sexual proclivities counts. The example he gave concerned a couple who waited until marriage to have sex. One night at dinner the two of them talked about sex and Wanda asked Harry what he envisioned their sex life would be like. Harry replied that he saw them having regular, all-American sex.
Moving on to the wedding night, Wanda changes into a negligee and when she comes into the bedroom, there Harry sits on the bed wearing Pampers and holding a bottle of Wesson oil.
Now this is voidable because Wanda could freak out and rush out and get an annulment
OR
she could waive the fraud claim by smiling and saying, "Someone's been a naughty boy..." etc
Next hypo:
Physical impotency is a grounds for divorce in Massachusetts. It must be incurable. The professor said that the guy can't offer a defense by saying something like "Yeah, judge, but check it out, I can lick my eyebrows."
{Pause}
"Explain that one to your neighbor."
Dirty dirty. And probably a sign of my mental state that I'm still giggling. Apparently I've descended to 12 year-old boy.
Last day of class and the Bar is in 12 1/2 days. Argh-a! (that's for Santa Cruz Jenn)
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Freakin' &$@&*!
I'm tired. I started memorizing my Crim Law cards yesterday and finished them along with Crim Pro today.
Then I went to go do an essay. Oh look, my Barbri notes, CMR, AND Massachusetts Distinctions poorly prepared me for one of the Barbri essays. That's fun. Where the freak are they getting this stuff from?
Then I did some Crim Law PMBR questions and have determined that the Bar Examiners are a bunch of sadists who want to see us all suffer.
Then I did some Crim Pro questions and recognized that I was using the reasoning correctly and I rocked.
Can the entire MBE be Crim Pro, please?
Now I'm just hoping and praying that if I keep murmuring this stuff to myself as I'm fixing meals and walking to and from the bathroom, that it will somehow get lodged in my long-term memory so that when I start memorizing Property tomorrow all the Crim Law/Pro won't be spilling out of my ears and onto the floor where it will do me no good at all.
Then I went to go do an essay. Oh look, my Barbri notes, CMR, AND Massachusetts Distinctions poorly prepared me for one of the Barbri essays. That's fun. Where the freak are they getting this stuff from?
Then I did some Crim Law PMBR questions and have determined that the Bar Examiners are a bunch of sadists who want to see us all suffer.
Then I did some Crim Pro questions and recognized that I was using the reasoning correctly and I rocked.
Can the entire MBE be Crim Pro, please?
Now I'm just hoping and praying that if I keep murmuring this stuff to myself as I'm fixing meals and walking to and from the bathroom, that it will somehow get lodged in my long-term memory so that when I start memorizing Property tomorrow all the Crim Law/Pro won't be spilling out of my ears and onto the floor where it will do me no good at all.
What the Essays Are REALLY All About
Set it up
Knock it down
Milk it dry
That about sums up what the Bar Examiners are looking for in the way of essays. The Agency/Partnership professor offered that little gem today.
He was insane! Very flamboyant and wacky. Some people didn't like him, but I did because those 3 hours flew (well compared to the 6 hours of death that were Wills & Trusts. And I wasn't even trying to be punny there, it just came out that way).
In the end he gave us a 2 page handy-dandy summary of all that was in the previous 21 pages of the handout. He explained that the summary is useful because at this point we are completely "saturated with the amount of material, ie crapola" that he didn't want to overburden us with Agency and Partnership.
Any professor who can work the word "crapola" into a lecture get bonus points from me, especially when he uses it in reference to the piles and piles of information that have been thrown at us for the last 6 weeks in this whole Bar preparation monstrosity.
Tomorrow is the last day of Barbri. The Bar is two weeks (TWO WEEKS!) from today.
Knock it down
Milk it dry
That about sums up what the Bar Examiners are looking for in the way of essays. The Agency/Partnership professor offered that little gem today.
He was insane! Very flamboyant and wacky. Some people didn't like him, but I did because those 3 hours flew (well compared to the 6 hours of death that were Wills & Trusts. And I wasn't even trying to be punny there, it just came out that way).
In the end he gave us a 2 page handy-dandy summary of all that was in the previous 21 pages of the handout. He explained that the summary is useful because at this point we are completely "saturated with the amount of material, ie crapola" that he didn't want to overburden us with Agency and Partnership.
Any professor who can work the word "crapola" into a lecture get bonus points from me, especially when he uses it in reference to the piles and piles of information that have been thrown at us for the last 6 weeks in this whole Bar preparation monstrosity.
Tomorrow is the last day of Barbri. The Bar is two weeks (TWO WEEKS!) from today.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Eeek!
Well, this is king of daunting. I have been outed on LDS Link Up (aka Mormon Friendster). Not that I haven't told half the ward about my blog anyway, it's just weird to think anyone who I know pretty tangentially or not at all who might happen to be on Link Up may get here from there.
So if you got here via Link Up, hi! Hope you enjoy the site. I'm a pretty liberal Mormon girl who just graduated from law school, so take that as you will.
And now, back to regularly scheduled Barbri drama:
There is a new Bread Boy. I've never seen the original Bread Boy talk to the new Bread Boy, but today NBB came in with a loaf of bread and proceeded to rip off hunks of it and munch during the 2 1/2 hours of class. Everyone brings snacks, and I'm a fan of bread and all, but weird.
I think there's trouble brewing for a couple in my class. This cutesy-pie couple who hung all over each other during the breaks used to sit across the room from me. The thing that struck me as odd was the fact that the girl's eyes were always very red-rimmed, like she had being crying. She looked like that pretty much every day. Well, now the guy has been missing for at least two classes (I just noticed his absence yesterday) and she no longer looks tearful all the time. So maybe it's not so much trouble brewing, as she kicked him to the curb and is feeling much better.
So if you got here via Link Up, hi! Hope you enjoy the site. I'm a pretty liberal Mormon girl who just graduated from law school, so take that as you will.
And now, back to regularly scheduled Barbri drama:
There is a new Bread Boy. I've never seen the original Bread Boy talk to the new Bread Boy, but today NBB came in with a loaf of bread and proceeded to rip off hunks of it and munch during the 2 1/2 hours of class. Everyone brings snacks, and I'm a fan of bread and all, but weird.
I think there's trouble brewing for a couple in my class. This cutesy-pie couple who hung all over each other during the breaks used to sit across the room from me. The thing that struck me as odd was the fact that the girl's eyes were always very red-rimmed, like she had being crying. She looked like that pretty much every day. Well, now the guy has been missing for at least two classes (I just noticed his absence yesterday) and she no longer looks tearful all the time. So maybe it's not so much trouble brewing, as she kicked him to the curb and is feeling much better.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Is This Just Denial Or What?
I've been mainly worried about the essays with this whole Bar thing. I know I need to improve my MBE scores, but I still have time to do some hard core memorizing and then I'm pretty confident (knock on wood. I take no chances) that I'll be able to pull the right answer out of the 4 choices on enough questions to pass.
However, ten essays where I'm just supposed to come up with the law off the top of my head is pretty daunting.
Tonight I actually started going over the essays like Barbri has been telling us to do. No, I have not been religious with the Paced Program, but I've been sticking in PMBR stuff too and making my notecards and some law does actually seem to be sticking without following Barbri religiously.
I outlined 5 essays tonight and spotted most of the issues right off the bat. The Crim ones I basically knew the complete answers for (I'm rocking the Crim MBE questions too. Who knew I would be a Criminal Law & Procedure savant?). The Property essays I could spot the majority of the issues and knew some of the law.
I actually wound up feeling a lot better than I thought I would. I really feel like if I stick to my schedule and memorize like a banshee, I WILL pass this test. That's a nice feeling.
Yeah, ask me how I feel 2 weeks from now.
However, ten essays where I'm just supposed to come up with the law off the top of my head is pretty daunting.
Tonight I actually started going over the essays like Barbri has been telling us to do. No, I have not been religious with the Paced Program, but I've been sticking in PMBR stuff too and making my notecards and some law does actually seem to be sticking without following Barbri religiously.
I outlined 5 essays tonight and spotted most of the issues right off the bat. The Crim ones I basically knew the complete answers for (I'm rocking the Crim MBE questions too. Who knew I would be a Criminal Law & Procedure savant?). The Property essays I could spot the majority of the issues and knew some of the law.
I actually wound up feeling a lot better than I thought I would. I really feel like if I stick to my schedule and memorize like a banshee, I WILL pass this test. That's a nice feeling.
Yeah, ask me how I feel 2 weeks from now.
Does "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds Make Anyone Else Feel All Cool and Rebellious a la John Bender?
Here is a picture of me in the ego dress in 1998.
This is me and my aunt at my cousin's wedding, taking a "See Food" picture for my mom, who couldn't be there. Yes, we're a classy, classy family.
The lesson I have learned today is not to try to walk a mile and a half in my new $7 Payless sandals. They're very comfortable otherwise, but not for long walks. I have two blisters, one on each foot. However, if you have to have a blister...
My parents stuffed a Mary Engelbreit first aid kit in my stocking last Christmas, and really, who doesn't want a good dose of cuteness when in pain?
Lastly,Happy Birthday, Slurpee! On my next splurge day I am totally indulging in some of your frozen Cherry Coke goodness!
This is me and my aunt at my cousin's wedding, taking a "See Food" picture for my mom, who couldn't be there. Yes, we're a classy, classy family.
The lesson I have learned today is not to try to walk a mile and a half in my new $7 Payless sandals. They're very comfortable otherwise, but not for long walks. I have two blisters, one on each foot. However, if you have to have a blister...
My parents stuffed a Mary Engelbreit first aid kit in my stocking last Christmas, and really, who doesn't want a good dose of cuteness when in pain?
Lastly,Happy Birthday, Slurpee! On my next splurge day I am totally indulging in some of your frozen Cherry Coke goodness!
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Ego Dress
(a couple of you have already heard about the Ego Dress, but I just thought I'd share with the internet community at large)
When I was in high school I had a pair of shorts that I thought were the cutest things ever and that I bought even though they were too small because they didn't have the next size up in stock. I know they tell you never to do that, but I was 14, what do you want from me? They became known as my Ego Shorts. They were getting closer to fitting as I diligently exercycled every night on the exercycle my grandma gave me after her knee surgery, as my parents can attest to from the loud whirring sound coming from my bedroom. Then I had jaw surgery mid-way through my sophomore year and WHAM, they were actually a little too big. Amazing what having your mouth wired shut for 4 1/2 weeks will do to your body.
Well, I had this pretty linen dress that I got while I was in college. It fit me great and my friend Anaka always commented on how "slender" I looked when I wore it. When I started putting on weight after college, I kept the dress. It's a classic style and I was determined to wear it again. Basically it's been balled up in the bottom drawer of my dresser underneath the Dixie Chicks concert, Florida Cracker restaurant, and Dave's Big Deluxe T-shirts.
Yesterday I was purging my bottom drawer of some too big and too nasty clothes and came upon the dress. I thought to myself, "I wonder..." I didn't think it would fit since it's actually a size or two smaller than the current pants and skirts that I have, but I thought it would be good to see if I was even close to fitting into it.
I think you all know where this is going. It fit perfectly! I wore it to church today even, and several people complimented me. I'm sure I was strutting a bit since I felt so proud to actually have it on.
So even though my shoulders are just big knots of stress right now and I'm really really tired of studying, the good news is, the Ego Dress fits!
When I was in high school I had a pair of shorts that I thought were the cutest things ever and that I bought even though they were too small because they didn't have the next size up in stock. I know they tell you never to do that, but I was 14, what do you want from me? They became known as my Ego Shorts. They were getting closer to fitting as I diligently exercycled every night on the exercycle my grandma gave me after her knee surgery, as my parents can attest to from the loud whirring sound coming from my bedroom. Then I had jaw surgery mid-way through my sophomore year and WHAM, they were actually a little too big. Amazing what having your mouth wired shut for 4 1/2 weeks will do to your body.
Well, I had this pretty linen dress that I got while I was in college. It fit me great and my friend Anaka always commented on how "slender" I looked when I wore it. When I started putting on weight after college, I kept the dress. It's a classic style and I was determined to wear it again. Basically it's been balled up in the bottom drawer of my dresser underneath the Dixie Chicks concert, Florida Cracker restaurant, and Dave's Big Deluxe T-shirts.
Yesterday I was purging my bottom drawer of some too big and too nasty clothes and came upon the dress. I thought to myself, "I wonder..." I didn't think it would fit since it's actually a size or two smaller than the current pants and skirts that I have, but I thought it would be good to see if I was even close to fitting into it.
I think you all know where this is going. It fit perfectly! I wore it to church today even, and several people complimented me. I'm sure I was strutting a bit since I felt so proud to actually have it on.
So even though my shoulders are just big knots of stress right now and I'm really really tired of studying, the good news is, the Ego Dress fits!
Can I Get A Hallelujah!
I have just had the most emotional hour of my life. And it's not Bar-related.
I thought I broke my iPod. I was starting to pack up some books in my room and was listening to the Cowboy Junkies on my iPod (who I haven't named, but who I'm thinking might need a name). The iPod was in my pocket. Well, then it fell out of my pocket and ONTO THE HARDWOOD FLOOR. I picked it up and it was frozen, absolutely frozen in the locked position, displaying that I was 1:35 into "Oregon Hill" by the Cowboy Junkies.
Noooooooooooooooo!
I called my parents panicked and guilt-ridden, because they are the ones who bestowed my lovely iPod on me last Christmas. My dad talked me off the ledge and had me dig out my paperwork to look and see if Apple has any sort of tech support. I was crying and depressed and convinced that NOTHING would solve this and my 40GB iPod would be no more and it's not like I can afford a new one anytime soon so I'd have to walk to the rest of my Barbri classes and pack and live my life without its own soundtrack.
Did you all know that iPods have their very own version of Ctrl+Alt+Del? Me neither. I watched a little movie on the Apple support site that told me if you hold the Menu button and the Power button down for 6 seconds, the iPod reboots (little tip for those of you with the click dial iPods). Hurrah!
Ok, now I'm going to go pack.
I thought I broke my iPod. I was starting to pack up some books in my room and was listening to the Cowboy Junkies on my iPod (who I haven't named, but who I'm thinking might need a name). The iPod was in my pocket. Well, then it fell out of my pocket and ONTO THE HARDWOOD FLOOR. I picked it up and it was frozen, absolutely frozen in the locked position, displaying that I was 1:35 into "Oregon Hill" by the Cowboy Junkies.
Noooooooooooooooo!
I called my parents panicked and guilt-ridden, because they are the ones who bestowed my lovely iPod on me last Christmas. My dad talked me off the ledge and had me dig out my paperwork to look and see if Apple has any sort of tech support. I was crying and depressed and convinced that NOTHING would solve this and my 40GB iPod would be no more and it's not like I can afford a new one anytime soon so I'd have to walk to the rest of my Barbri classes and pack and live my life without its own soundtrack.
Did you all know that iPods have their very own version of Ctrl+Alt+Del? Me neither. I watched a little movie on the Apple support site that told me if you hold the Menu button and the Power button down for 6 seconds, the iPod reboots (little tip for those of you with the click dial iPods). Hurrah!
Ok, now I'm going to go pack.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Yeah, Like I Need This Right Now
Today after almost 5 hours of studying, I decided to take a break and go swimming. I asked a "friend" of mine if she would like to go with me.
She said, "No, I'm going to the baptism, as all ward members are supposed to."
To which I replied, ignoring the implied guilt trip, "Ah. Well, I'm going to go swimming and then I'm going to come back home and study for a few more hours."
To which she replied, "Have fun," with the subtext of "You bad person, you."
I'm sorry, was that you trying to lay a guilt trip on me?!?!
OK, A) where I grew up not EVERYone goes to EVERY baptism. I'm not friends with the person getting baptized. B) That said, if I wasn't studying for THE BAR I would probably go to the baptism anyway to be supportive and all that.
But I am studying. In fact, I canceled a brunch with some friends this morning because I knew I just couldn't take the time.
PS Despite what the website said, the pool was closed when I went. Sadness. So I just came back home and studied. It's probably a judgment on me for my evil, apathetic ways.
She said, "No, I'm going to the baptism, as all ward members are supposed to."
To which I replied, ignoring the implied guilt trip, "Ah. Well, I'm going to go swimming and then I'm going to come back home and study for a few more hours."
To which she replied, "Have fun," with the subtext of "You bad person, you."
I'm sorry, was that you trying to lay a guilt trip on me?!?!
OK, A) where I grew up not EVERYone goes to EVERY baptism. I'm not friends with the person getting baptized. B) That said, if I wasn't studying for THE BAR I would probably go to the baptism anyway to be supportive and all that.
But I am studying. In fact, I canceled a brunch with some friends this morning because I knew I just couldn't take the time.
PS Despite what the website said, the pool was closed when I went. Sadness. So I just came back home and studied. It's probably a judgment on me for my evil, apathetic ways.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Crazy Brain Takes A Leave of Absence
I managed to go swimming tonight and I feel much better. Bally's pool is still broken, of course. Now they're saying Monday. But I was sitting at the dining room table feeling like I was going to burst into tears as I attempted to make my Civ Pro cards because it is so freaking boring and so meticulous and I felt desolate.
There's a community pool that my roommate Heidi and I had heard is right across the street from us, but after both of us walking around the school and park, we hadn't been able to find it. I could smell it one day, but I couldn't see where it was or where to go. So I looked them up online this evening and called to ask for very specific directions.
The locker room is very Bolshevik chic, but the pool is beautiful. 25 yards long, with lanes wide enough that when you share you don't run into each other. Frankly, the pool kicked my butt. Just a change like 5 extra yards so that my 100's are only 4 laps instead of 5 makes for a big difference in the way it feels. I couldn't do my set of 32, but I managed to do 80 laps and one long set of 20.
Also, and maybe I'm crazy, but I could swear that sometimes the water in pools feels different. I don't know if it's the temperature or different chemicals or what, but the community pool water felt thicker than the Bally's pool water. Even when I first started swimming it felt like I was exerting more effort to stroke and kick. And my thighs are hurting in a new way.
I feel so much better.
There's a community pool that my roommate Heidi and I had heard is right across the street from us, but after both of us walking around the school and park, we hadn't been able to find it. I could smell it one day, but I couldn't see where it was or where to go. So I looked them up online this evening and called to ask for very specific directions.
The locker room is very Bolshevik chic, but the pool is beautiful. 25 yards long, with lanes wide enough that when you share you don't run into each other. Frankly, the pool kicked my butt. Just a change like 5 extra yards so that my 100's are only 4 laps instead of 5 makes for a big difference in the way it feels. I couldn't do my set of 32, but I managed to do 80 laps and one long set of 20.
Also, and maybe I'm crazy, but I could swear that sometimes the water in pools feels different. I don't know if it's the temperature or different chemicals or what, but the community pool water felt thicker than the Bally's pool water. Even when I first started swimming it felt like I was exerting more effort to stroke and kick. And my thighs are hurting in a new way.
I feel so much better.
Crazy Brain Is In Control
Does anyone else think Federal Jurisdiction and Civil Procedure are the two most boring topics in Barbri ever? I was so impatient by the last hour, I felt like I was going to literally jump out of my skin. I'm having kind of a crazy brain day anyway, mostly because I haven't been able to swim in 4 days. Oh yeah, did I mention that the filter in the pool at Bally's broke? They're waiting for a part and supposedly will have it fixed today. Cha! I'll believe that when I see it.
So during the last hour of class I kept thinking about how Federal Jurisdiction and Civil Procedure adds 68 more pages of information that I need to memorize and it bores me to tears to study and my brain is FULL! VERY FULL! I don't think I can take in anything else, and I still have 4 more days of lecture.
I'm feeling overwhelmed and vascillating between wanting to burst into tears or scream.
Logical Brain:
Realizes that my panicky state is only partly Bar-related. It's mostly about not being able to swim and being awash in PMS hormones.
Crazy Brain:
Thinks I will never memorize enough to pass the essay portion of the Bar, thus even if I get the job I have an interview for, I will be fired in November.
So during the last hour of class I kept thinking about how Federal Jurisdiction and Civil Procedure adds 68 more pages of information that I need to memorize and it bores me to tears to study and my brain is FULL! VERY FULL! I don't think I can take in anything else, and I still have 4 more days of lecture.
I'm feeling overwhelmed and vascillating between wanting to burst into tears or scream.
Logical Brain:
Realizes that my panicky state is only partly Bar-related. It's mostly about not being able to swim and being awash in PMS hormones.
Crazy Brain:
Thinks I will never memorize enough to pass the essay portion of the Bar, thus even if I get the job I have an interview for, I will be fired in November.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
The Trials and Tribulations of Shopping for A Suit
Holy cow, I don't check the blog for one whole day and everyone goes crazy with the commenting! Thanks!
Just as a short little reply to one of the comments made about the women asking the men out, I've actually tried that, in a group type setting. I've been canceled on or just never replied to numerous times so I gave up. I also hear conflicting messages about this. First, is the the whole thing that if a guy isn't attracted, he's not going to become attracted. I'm going to assume that if a guy is attracted to me, he'll ask me out. Second, I've been told that in a very primal way, men are the hunters. Asking a guy out is a surefire way to make him really not interested. Who knows.
I will give the LPW boys this much: at least they don't cast their eyes around like a rabbit caught in a trap whenever I talk to them now. Some of them will even initiate conversation with me. See what losing 40 lbs can do.
Thanks to everyone who proffered advice about transportation to and from various airports in the DC area. One of my friends from Tucson who now lives in Virginia offered to pick me up at Dulles and have me stay with her. I'm excited because she now has a husband and two children who I've never met.
I left Barbri an hour early today. The topic was Federal Jurisdiction. The lecturer seemed to think it was a great idea to provide us with a 32-page handout covering all you'd ever want to know about jurisdiction, and then stand at the podium and read it to us. That's why he gets paid the big bucks. Seriously, I took like 5 notes in the 2 hours that I was there. Some people left after the first hour, more after the second. I thumbed through the 14 remaining pages and realized there were about 7 blanks, all of which I could fill out by reading the handout myself and using the CMR as a supplement. The same professor is doing Civ Pro tomorrow. I may leave after the first hour if it's more of the same.
I decided that the middle of the day on Thursday would be a good time to head out to the mall to look for a new suit. When I was in DC in April my suit was hanging on me and I tried on my jacket last night and laughed at myself in the mirror.
This exercise of hunting for a suit has proven to consistently be one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. First of all, my top and my bottom are two different sizes, so I can never just pluck a suit off the rack and try it on. No, it's all about the separates for me. And then it's all about trying to find the right sizes, because lots of times people will buy a skirt OR a jacket so there are 47 jackets and 1 skirt left or vice versa.
Second, I have short legs. So regular size pants always pool around my ankles and have a too-high waist, but petites are often just a little too short. Besides, I always get strange looks from people when I'm shopping in Petites because I'm 5' 6". I just have a really long torso.
Third, I have hips and thighs so wearing a pencil skirt is consistently an uphill battle. If I get the skirt that fits my hips, there's 3-4 inches of extra fabric around my waist. I would kill for a black suit, with a slight A-line skirt, and a cute fitted jacket that comes in at my waist and just brushes my hips. Someday I'll have my own personal tailor, darn it!
I'm just looking for a nice, conservative skirt suit. Impossible! Macy's failed me. Macy's has consistently been my favorite store in the world, but they offered me nothing except for Calvin Klein (which I'll discuss later), that even looked close to acceptable. So I trotted over to Filene's and quickly found an adorable suit jacket, but, alas, no skirt, only pants that looked stupid on me, puddling around my ankles, straining over my thighs, with a 3 inch gap at the waist (I feel pretty!)
Also, will somebody please tell me what is going on with the business world that cropped-pant suits are deemed appropriate?
I wound up at Sears, and found a skirt to go with the Filene's jacket. Ta-dah! Mix and match suit. That only took 3 1/2 hours! Ugh! Malls make me feel oppressed anyway. I treated myself to a soft pretzel when it was all over.
Note on Calvin Klein: I must say I'm impressed with the skirts and pants offered up by Calvin Klein. I actually found a super sassy suit, that made me look fab, except for one thing. The two little flaps in back, where the jacket meets in a slit at the bottom, popped up on the shelf that is my bum in a way that I didn't think was exactly right. I looked smokin' from the front, though. The skirt and the jacket hugged my curves perfectly. So my question is, if Calvin understands how to make a skirt for the bootylicious woman, why doesn't his jacket also make the same allowances? I just couldn't justify spending $375 on a suit that sort of didn't fit right. But, man, did I feel chic standing in the dressing room.
Just as a short little reply to one of the comments made about the women asking the men out, I've actually tried that, in a group type setting. I've been canceled on or just never replied to numerous times so I gave up. I also hear conflicting messages about this. First, is the the whole thing that if a guy isn't attracted, he's not going to become attracted. I'm going to assume that if a guy is attracted to me, he'll ask me out. Second, I've been told that in a very primal way, men are the hunters. Asking a guy out is a surefire way to make him really not interested. Who knows.
I will give the LPW boys this much: at least they don't cast their eyes around like a rabbit caught in a trap whenever I talk to them now. Some of them will even initiate conversation with me. See what losing 40 lbs can do.
Thanks to everyone who proffered advice about transportation to and from various airports in the DC area. One of my friends from Tucson who now lives in Virginia offered to pick me up at Dulles and have me stay with her. I'm excited because she now has a husband and two children who I've never met.
I left Barbri an hour early today. The topic was Federal Jurisdiction. The lecturer seemed to think it was a great idea to provide us with a 32-page handout covering all you'd ever want to know about jurisdiction, and then stand at the podium and read it to us. That's why he gets paid the big bucks. Seriously, I took like 5 notes in the 2 hours that I was there. Some people left after the first hour, more after the second. I thumbed through the 14 remaining pages and realized there were about 7 blanks, all of which I could fill out by reading the handout myself and using the CMR as a supplement. The same professor is doing Civ Pro tomorrow. I may leave after the first hour if it's more of the same.
I decided that the middle of the day on Thursday would be a good time to head out to the mall to look for a new suit. When I was in DC in April my suit was hanging on me and I tried on my jacket last night and laughed at myself in the mirror.
This exercise of hunting for a suit has proven to consistently be one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. First of all, my top and my bottom are two different sizes, so I can never just pluck a suit off the rack and try it on. No, it's all about the separates for me. And then it's all about trying to find the right sizes, because lots of times people will buy a skirt OR a jacket so there are 47 jackets and 1 skirt left or vice versa.
Second, I have short legs. So regular size pants always pool around my ankles and have a too-high waist, but petites are often just a little too short. Besides, I always get strange looks from people when I'm shopping in Petites because I'm 5' 6". I just have a really long torso.
Third, I have hips and thighs so wearing a pencil skirt is consistently an uphill battle. If I get the skirt that fits my hips, there's 3-4 inches of extra fabric around my waist. I would kill for a black suit, with a slight A-line skirt, and a cute fitted jacket that comes in at my waist and just brushes my hips. Someday I'll have my own personal tailor, darn it!
I'm just looking for a nice, conservative skirt suit. Impossible! Macy's failed me. Macy's has consistently been my favorite store in the world, but they offered me nothing except for Calvin Klein (which I'll discuss later), that even looked close to acceptable. So I trotted over to Filene's and quickly found an adorable suit jacket, but, alas, no skirt, only pants that looked stupid on me, puddling around my ankles, straining over my thighs, with a 3 inch gap at the waist (I feel pretty!)
Also, will somebody please tell me what is going on with the business world that cropped-pant suits are deemed appropriate?
I wound up at Sears, and found a skirt to go with the Filene's jacket. Ta-dah! Mix and match suit. That only took 3 1/2 hours! Ugh! Malls make me feel oppressed anyway. I treated myself to a soft pretzel when it was all over.
Note on Calvin Klein: I must say I'm impressed with the skirts and pants offered up by Calvin Klein. I actually found a super sassy suit, that made me look fab, except for one thing. The two little flaps in back, where the jacket meets in a slit at the bottom, popped up on the shelf that is my bum in a way that I didn't think was exactly right. I looked smokin' from the front, though. The skirt and the jacket hugged my curves perfectly. So my question is, if Calvin understands how to make a skirt for the bootylicious woman, why doesn't his jacket also make the same allowances? I just couldn't justify spending $375 on a suit that sort of didn't fit right. But, man, did I feel chic standing in the dressing room.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Interview!
I just got an interview with a firm in DC. It's not an exact match since they do health care financing not strictly health care law. But that's ok, right? At the firm I worked at here, I became the closings woman for the last year I was there, creating documents, filling out HUD forms, organizing the myriad of documents (one closing had 137 documents that we need 5 copies of for the closing. Lots of fun).
In the weirdest way organizing all of that stuff and keeping things straight appealed to the anal side of me that adores office supply stores. Organizational systems! Hurrah!
So the attorney asked me over the phone why I'm moving to DC and I said something about how I enjoyed health care law and wanted to learn more about policy as well and DC was a good place for that.
I need to come up with better answers for these things.
I forgot to say that I just really really really like DC and am not a big fan of Boston. Or something to indicate that I really really really want to be in DC and won't flake on them.
So she said that she didn't want to mislead me because they mostly do health care financing, working with hospitals and HUD, etc. She said it looked like from my resume that I had experience with that and I replied that I did. She asked if I enjoyed it and I said yes. So, thus, I have an interview.
Crappy part is, I have to fly to DC a week and a half before the Bar. And the tickets to National are $200 more than to Dulles, which means it will be kind of a pain. I'm waiting to hear back from my fututre roommate to see if I can stay with her and if she could get me to and from Dulles before I buy a ticket for sure.
An Hour And A Half Later: Well I don't know HOW I'm supposed to concentrate on Evidence now. I spent an hour going through all my Evidence notecards with the plan to then go over the Evidence questions I missed on the MBE. Instead, I hopped back on the computer and found that I have friends who love me who want me to stay with them in the DC area. Hurrah for old friends!
I'm also thinking, Do I want to do finance? And then I think, Shut up, Kelly, it's a job. You can love finance and pay down your loans. THEN rack up the loans again with the MPH and THEN get into policy - since that whole husband and kids thing doesn't really seem to be materializing anytime soon so the stay-at-home-mom vs. career conflict isn't really an issue at this point.
In the weirdest way organizing all of that stuff and keeping things straight appealed to the anal side of me that adores office supply stores. Organizational systems! Hurrah!
So the attorney asked me over the phone why I'm moving to DC and I said something about how I enjoyed health care law and wanted to learn more about policy as well and DC was a good place for that.
I need to come up with better answers for these things.
I forgot to say that I just really really really like DC and am not a big fan of Boston. Or something to indicate that I really really really want to be in DC and won't flake on them.
So she said that she didn't want to mislead me because they mostly do health care financing, working with hospitals and HUD, etc. She said it looked like from my resume that I had experience with that and I replied that I did. She asked if I enjoyed it and I said yes. So, thus, I have an interview.
Crappy part is, I have to fly to DC a week and a half before the Bar. And the tickets to National are $200 more than to Dulles, which means it will be kind of a pain. I'm waiting to hear back from my fututre roommate to see if I can stay with her and if she could get me to and from Dulles before I buy a ticket for sure.
An Hour And A Half Later: Well I don't know HOW I'm supposed to concentrate on Evidence now. I spent an hour going through all my Evidence notecards with the plan to then go over the Evidence questions I missed on the MBE. Instead, I hopped back on the computer and found that I have friends who love me who want me to stay with them in the DC area. Hurrah for old friends!
I'm also thinking, Do I want to do finance? And then I think, Shut up, Kelly, it's a job. You can love finance and pay down your loans. THEN rack up the loans again with the MPH and THEN get into policy - since that whole husband and kids thing doesn't really seem to be materializing anytime soon so the stay-at-home-mom vs. career conflict isn't really an issue at this point.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Proof That It Is, In Fact, The Guys
My friend Mary's post today reminded me of something that I just recently found out about and wanted to throw out there for you all. There have been lots and lots and lots of discussions about what exactly is going on with the single Mormons. Why aren't we dating? Why are we all 28+ and single? Don't we ever want to have sex? (Answers for me: I don't know, I don't know, YES!!)
Different people will give different explanations: people are focusing on their careers, guys are too picky, girls are too picky, guys don't ask out girls, girls should ask out guys, girls should be more demure, etc etc etc.
But I officially have the real reason for those of us here in Boston: it's all about the guys.
Hear me out.
When our new bishop was called I met with him soon after to talk about my calling. After business was out of the way we chatted a bit about my time in law school and what I want to do, as well as discussed the ward as a whole. He asked me at that time if the attitude we had seen from one of the guys in Ward Council that morning was pretty run of the mill for the guys in the ward. I asked him what he meant and he did a perfect impersonation of this guy, complete with slumping in his chair, legs splayed out. Basically, the discussion in Ward Council was about an upcoming dance. The bishop challenged the guys in the room to encourage the other guys to come to the dance and to even ask someone to it. This particular guy, who held a leadership position, shrugged and mumbled something non-committal.
I told the bishop that in my observations over the past couple of years, that basically summed it up. None of the girls were dating. Lots of girls come to activities and 3 guys come. Then the girls get discouraged and rag on the guys and stop coming to activities.
Well our bishop has now been in place for almost 10 months and has continually encouraged the guys to ask out the girls. I found out from a friend that guys will say to him that they want to get married, but when he asks when the last time they asked a girl out was, they'll say 2 years ago, or something similar.
Duh, guys, God's not going to plop her in your lap with a big red ribbon.
Now here is why I believe it's official that it's all about the guys here in Boston. One of my friends went to talk with the bishop recently and was discussing her frustration with never getting asked out or even noticed for that matter. The bishop's suggestion: travel. Yes, it's official, the bishop has given up on the guys in the area. And apparently he's giving this advice to many of the women here. He told my friend that he knows there is a worthy Priesthood holder out there for her and that she may need to go find him.
I know that there are other LDS guys out there who may read my blog who actually do date (Hi, Chris!). But apparently Boston is a lost cause.
Different people will give different explanations: people are focusing on their careers, guys are too picky, girls are too picky, guys don't ask out girls, girls should ask out guys, girls should be more demure, etc etc etc.
But I officially have the real reason for those of us here in Boston: it's all about the guys.
Hear me out.
When our new bishop was called I met with him soon after to talk about my calling. After business was out of the way we chatted a bit about my time in law school and what I want to do, as well as discussed the ward as a whole. He asked me at that time if the attitude we had seen from one of the guys in Ward Council that morning was pretty run of the mill for the guys in the ward. I asked him what he meant and he did a perfect impersonation of this guy, complete with slumping in his chair, legs splayed out. Basically, the discussion in Ward Council was about an upcoming dance. The bishop challenged the guys in the room to encourage the other guys to come to the dance and to even ask someone to it. This particular guy, who held a leadership position, shrugged and mumbled something non-committal.
I told the bishop that in my observations over the past couple of years, that basically summed it up. None of the girls were dating. Lots of girls come to activities and 3 guys come. Then the girls get discouraged and rag on the guys and stop coming to activities.
Well our bishop has now been in place for almost 10 months and has continually encouraged the guys to ask out the girls. I found out from a friend that guys will say to him that they want to get married, but when he asks when the last time they asked a girl out was, they'll say 2 years ago, or something similar.
Duh, guys, God's not going to plop her in your lap with a big red ribbon.
Now here is why I believe it's official that it's all about the guys here in Boston. One of my friends went to talk with the bishop recently and was discussing her frustration with never getting asked out or even noticed for that matter. The bishop's suggestion: travel. Yes, it's official, the bishop has given up on the guys in the area. And apparently he's giving this advice to many of the women here. He told my friend that he knows there is a worthy Priesthood holder out there for her and that she may need to go find him.
I know that there are other LDS guys out there who may read my blog who actually do date (Hi, Chris!). But apparently Boston is a lost cause.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Bocce Ball Champions of the World!
You know, historically Boston weather lets me down. But I have to give the weather props for providing what was probably the most absolutely beautiful Fourth of July ever. I went to my friend Mandy's for a BBQ, which was lots of fun. We didn't talk about the Bar too much, although I'm sure those who were there who are not studying for a Bar would disagree. Lots of good food and Bocce ball.
Brian, a fellow BC Law grad, and I are the Bocce Ball Champions of the World! Wow, another sport I'm good at besides swimming. If nothing else, it was lots of fun watching the vein pulse in Andrew's (aka The Most Competitive Boy in the World) forehead as we beat him and his partner twice.
We were going to go to the Esplanade and watch the fireworks, but we all jointly (and severally. Hahahahaha) decided to break up the party and head home because we had Barbri in the morning and we're all carting around that Bar study malaise. The fireworks didn't even start until 10:30 PM. I went to the Hatch Shell last year on July 3rd and watched the Boston Pops go through their dress rehearsal. Plus, I've done Fourth of July and New Years Eve at Grant Park in Chicago, so I feel like I've done my big crowds and explosions thing. Although next year I am TOTALLY going to whatever it is they do in DC.
But for this year I sat comfy on my couch listening to the Boston Pops do the 1812 Overture complete with cannons. I watched the fireworks on TV, and after a 5 second delay, heard the booms all the way in my apartment.
Brian, a fellow BC Law grad, and I are the Bocce Ball Champions of the World! Wow, another sport I'm good at besides swimming. If nothing else, it was lots of fun watching the vein pulse in Andrew's (aka The Most Competitive Boy in the World) forehead as we beat him and his partner twice.
We were going to go to the Esplanade and watch the fireworks, but we all jointly (and severally. Hahahahaha) decided to break up the party and head home because we had Barbri in the morning and we're all carting around that Bar study malaise. The fireworks didn't even start until 10:30 PM. I went to the Hatch Shell last year on July 3rd and watched the Boston Pops go through their dress rehearsal. Plus, I've done Fourth of July and New Years Eve at Grant Park in Chicago, so I feel like I've done my big crowds and explosions thing. Although next year I am TOTALLY going to whatever it is they do in DC.
But for this year I sat comfy on my couch listening to the Boston Pops do the 1812 Overture complete with cannons. I watched the fireworks on TV, and after a 5 second delay, heard the booms all the way in my apartment.
Maybe I'm Not As Stupid As I Thought
It occurred to me this morning when I woke up in my normal "I'm stupid and am going to fail the Bar" panic, that there were several reasons that I didn't do so hot on the practice MBE:
A) I knew it was fake. That can do a lot to your ability to concentrate or take things very seriously. Like, for instance, I know in the real MBE I won't skim over a question, annoyed that the fact pattern is one and a half columns long, and think to myself, "Oh, I don't know. B." I did that more than a few times on Friday.
B) I read really fast and I know that and am pretty good at getting myself to slow down for the actual test. For instance, with the MPRE I think I finished maybe 10 minutes early. If I had read at my normal reading rate, not only would I have missed a lot more, but I would have been out of there at least 45 minutes early. Same with the MBE on Friday: I finished both sections 30 minutes early. I will be taking my time on the real test.
C) I was very easily distracted, especially since they had us set up so that there were four of us to a table, two facing two, with no room between the chairs really so any time someone got up to go to the bathroom it was this big production of "Excuse Me's" and scooting chairs. The set up will be different for the actual test.
Also, in an effort to not pay attention to what my roommate was doing in her room as I tried to study in the dining room on the other side of the wall, I wore earplugs while studying today. WORLD OF DIFFERENCE. I am definitely taking earplugs to the real Bar. I can block out the birds and the kids playing outside and my roommate's music, and just exist in my own little MBE world. That seems prudent for the actual test.
I've gone back today and redone the questions I missed for Con Law, Contracts, Property, and Crim Law. Guess what? With more careful reading and the earplugs in for minimal distraction, I got 23 more questions right. I still have Torts to do, and Evidence, but Evidence is a wash considering we just covered it last week and I haven't reviewed it yet. So it's not that I don't know the law, it's that I was reading and jumping to conclusions too quickly, which is seriously the story of my life when it comes to standardized tests. And that, my friends, is something I have control over.
Now I am off to a Bar-B-Q. Happy Fourth of July!
A) I knew it was fake. That can do a lot to your ability to concentrate or take things very seriously. Like, for instance, I know in the real MBE I won't skim over a question, annoyed that the fact pattern is one and a half columns long, and think to myself, "Oh, I don't know. B." I did that more than a few times on Friday.
B) I read really fast and I know that and am pretty good at getting myself to slow down for the actual test. For instance, with the MPRE I think I finished maybe 10 minutes early. If I had read at my normal reading rate, not only would I have missed a lot more, but I would have been out of there at least 45 minutes early. Same with the MBE on Friday: I finished both sections 30 minutes early. I will be taking my time on the real test.
C) I was very easily distracted, especially since they had us set up so that there were four of us to a table, two facing two, with no room between the chairs really so any time someone got up to go to the bathroom it was this big production of "Excuse Me's" and scooting chairs. The set up will be different for the actual test.
Also, in an effort to not pay attention to what my roommate was doing in her room as I tried to study in the dining room on the other side of the wall, I wore earplugs while studying today. WORLD OF DIFFERENCE. I am definitely taking earplugs to the real Bar. I can block out the birds and the kids playing outside and my roommate's music, and just exist in my own little MBE world. That seems prudent for the actual test.
I've gone back today and redone the questions I missed for Con Law, Contracts, Property, and Crim Law. Guess what? With more careful reading and the earplugs in for minimal distraction, I got 23 more questions right. I still have Torts to do, and Evidence, but Evidence is a wash considering we just covered it last week and I haven't reviewed it yet. So it's not that I don't know the law, it's that I was reading and jumping to conclusions too quickly, which is seriously the story of my life when it comes to standardized tests. And that, my friends, is something I have control over.
Now I am off to a Bar-B-Q. Happy Fourth of July!
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Does Anyone Else Understand What I'm Talking About?
I had one of my epiphanies today that have been coming every so often as I go through this weight loss/finding myself process. I was standing in front of my mirror, putting on lipgloss, and I happened to glance over at a picture of Berkeley Jen and me that I have sitting on my dresser. I did a double take, almost thinking "Who is that?" It was me. It was me 4 years ago. With the round face and the double chin and the boyfriend who I felt like crap with.
I don't know her anymore. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that my face is no longer round and that I have to practically pull my chin all the way into my neck to get the semblance of a double chin. I saw that I stand up straighter and that my eyes are clearer and more content. And I started to cry.
Good tears, mind you. Tears of joy that I'm not her anymore and that I'm finding out who I really am and feeling happy with the results.
I walked down the hall and grabbed my Tucson and Chicago photo albums off the shelf and took them back to my room. I poured over them for almost an hour, taking in the details of how I used to look and noticing when I started gaining weight and remembering what was going on. My junior year of college I dated this guy who was very very skinny and I always felt kind of awkward next to him, thinking we must look kind of strange together. Looking at the pictures of us now, I can see that it was all in my head. We look fine together. Mostly because even though I wasn't skinny, I was swimming and toned and looked healthy.
In the Chicago album I looked at some of the pictures of me and my ex. This is the ex whose memory has haunted me for the two years since he broke up with me and the one year since he got married. Many many many of my Boston friends have heard the saga of the ex. I looked at the pictures and didn't see me in them anymore. I saw who I was when I was with him - someone who I feel kind of sad for and who I don't want to be. And I looked at him standing next to me and just thought, "Wow, that's weird that we were together." Usually there's some twinge, some pain, some longing when I look at pictures of him. Today I didn't feel that. It seemed very odd to think that I was with him.
I know this sounds like it's all about the weight, but it isn't. I love that I'm losing weight and becoming more fit, but that's just a by-product. It wouldn't mean as much if I wasn't feeling so content with myself in general. Because I'm making changes with who I am and the manner in which I want to live my life, it's showing on the outside.
I used to be a happy person, but I think I was happy for different reasons. I was happy because I wanted to be pleasant and I wanted people to like me. Now I feel happy because I'm honestly happy. Some days I leave the apartment and feel like there must be rays shooting out of my hair and my fingertips because I feel so up.
I think there are a lot of factors playing into why I'm feeling so emotional about this today: the Bar, PMS, the fact that despite going to bed at 1 AM, my body still woke me up at 6:40 this morning. But what it all comes down to is, I'm happy. I'm happy I'm not where I was or who I was 3 and 4 years ago - and, honestly, even just 1 year ago. I'm glad I got myself back, and then some. I'm glad I'm the type of person who can make people laugh and who my friends seem to enjoy being around. But more importantly, I'm glad that I'm the kind of person I want to be around.
I don't know her anymore. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that my face is no longer round and that I have to practically pull my chin all the way into my neck to get the semblance of a double chin. I saw that I stand up straighter and that my eyes are clearer and more content. And I started to cry.
Good tears, mind you. Tears of joy that I'm not her anymore and that I'm finding out who I really am and feeling happy with the results.
I walked down the hall and grabbed my Tucson and Chicago photo albums off the shelf and took them back to my room. I poured over them for almost an hour, taking in the details of how I used to look and noticing when I started gaining weight and remembering what was going on. My junior year of college I dated this guy who was very very skinny and I always felt kind of awkward next to him, thinking we must look kind of strange together. Looking at the pictures of us now, I can see that it was all in my head. We look fine together. Mostly because even though I wasn't skinny, I was swimming and toned and looked healthy.
In the Chicago album I looked at some of the pictures of me and my ex. This is the ex whose memory has haunted me for the two years since he broke up with me and the one year since he got married. Many many many of my Boston friends have heard the saga of the ex. I looked at the pictures and didn't see me in them anymore. I saw who I was when I was with him - someone who I feel kind of sad for and who I don't want to be. And I looked at him standing next to me and just thought, "Wow, that's weird that we were together." Usually there's some twinge, some pain, some longing when I look at pictures of him. Today I didn't feel that. It seemed very odd to think that I was with him.
I know this sounds like it's all about the weight, but it isn't. I love that I'm losing weight and becoming more fit, but that's just a by-product. It wouldn't mean as much if I wasn't feeling so content with myself in general. Because I'm making changes with who I am and the manner in which I want to live my life, it's showing on the outside.
I used to be a happy person, but I think I was happy for different reasons. I was happy because I wanted to be pleasant and I wanted people to like me. Now I feel happy because I'm honestly happy. Some days I leave the apartment and feel like there must be rays shooting out of my hair and my fingertips because I feel so up.
I think there are a lot of factors playing into why I'm feeling so emotional about this today: the Bar, PMS, the fact that despite going to bed at 1 AM, my body still woke me up at 6:40 this morning. But what it all comes down to is, I'm happy. I'm happy I'm not where I was or who I was 3 and 4 years ago - and, honestly, even just 1 year ago. I'm glad I got myself back, and then some. I'm glad I'm the type of person who can make people laugh and who my friends seem to enjoy being around. But more importantly, I'm glad that I'm the kind of person I want to be around.
New Personal Best
32 in 13:35, baby! Let's here it for my new aerodynamic swimsuit.
And stress.
And really punching it in the last two laps.
And stress.
And really punching it in the last two laps.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Freakin' Bar
Practice Multistate today.
Brain fried.
Depressed at how poorly I did. However, if I had known the law just a bit better and actually put the second of my two choices down for the 21 questions where my 2nd choice was right, I would have done well above average. But obviously I don't know the law. And I only have 26 days to learn it. Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!
Splurge Day will be starting early, because I figure about 24 hours from now I'll be eating dessert at The Cheesecake Factory before going to see Mr. Crazy Pants in War of the Worlds. And Splurge DAY to me signifies 24 hours. Tonight we're watching Return of the Jedi and eating birthday cake for my roommate Angie's birthday. I'm eating some birthday cake, darn it.
And on the upside, my spiffy new red swimsuit came in the mail today. So I will look like Firestar jetting through the water tomorrow morning. (Question: Why don't they make grown up underoos?)
Thanks to all the Cal Bar people for helping me get the boomerang question right. Just remember, folks, you can be charged with murder if you hit someone with a boomerang. Good to know.
Brain fried.
Depressed at how poorly I did. However, if I had known the law just a bit better and actually put the second of my two choices down for the 21 questions where my 2nd choice was right, I would have done well above average. But obviously I don't know the law. And I only have 26 days to learn it. Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!
Splurge Day will be starting early, because I figure about 24 hours from now I'll be eating dessert at The Cheesecake Factory before going to see Mr. Crazy Pants in War of the Worlds. And Splurge DAY to me signifies 24 hours. Tonight we're watching Return of the Jedi and eating birthday cake for my roommate Angie's birthday. I'm eating some birthday cake, darn it.
And on the upside, my spiffy new red swimsuit came in the mail today. So I will look like Firestar jetting through the water tomorrow morning. (Question: Why don't they make grown up underoos?)
Thanks to all the Cal Bar people for helping me get the boomerang question right. Just remember, folks, you can be charged with murder if you hit someone with a boomerang. Good to know.
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