Tsunami Aid

This blog has updates on how to donate and help in other ways:
http://tsunamihelp.blogspot.com/


Not that any "relief" will be real relief. I cannot even comprehend what people are going through there, but just cry as I watch the news.

NO Ice Block!

On the way home from the airport my friend Mandy drove me by my car and it, in fact, is not encased in a block of ice. I am so relieved. However, there is a red ribbon on the antennae, which Mandy thinks may mean I have a ticket. Hmph. Apparently in Somerville there's a rule that in a snow emergency you can't park on the odd side (or is it the even side). THEN if you don't move your car 48 hours after that, you get a ticket. If you ask me, I think that's asaninity (yes, I just made that up) in it's most blatant form. Are people never allowed to go out of town and leave their cars during the winter? So anyway, Cambridge may have a similar rule. But my feeling is, if there isn't a big ole sign telling me about it, I have grounds to contest a ticket. I've already contested one parking ticket with the City of Cambridge, I don't mind doing it again. They don't scare me.

I just have to say a big giant THANK YOU to Mandy for picking me up at the airport so I didn't have to drag my massive suitcase home on the icy streets and sidewalks. She gets extra super bonus points for picking me up even though we left Chicago 2 hours late.

Now that I have an internet connection for my laptop again I can start playing with my big Christmas present: an iPod. I LEAP into the 21st century.

Natural Disasters

Everyone, please say a little prayer for all the people in South Asia and Africa affected by the tsunamis. So awful...

Snow Snow Snow Snow SNOW

Usually, I am a big fan of snow. I love watching it fall as I sit all warm and cozy inside my apartment, preferably with a mug of hot chocolate in hand. I love the shhhhhhh sound it makes as it falls on a quiet night and the crunching sound my boots make when I walk across it.

However, I did not get to enjoy any of the above when the snow fell in Boston, and now have only the aftermath of icy sidewalks and my aforementioned block o' ice car to look forward to when I get home tomorrow. I have several broken bones in my past attesting to my bad relationship with ice. However, for a girl who grew up in Arizona, with summer trips to South Florida, I think it's a testament to my adaptability that I haven't broken my neck after six winters in icy locales (knock on wood). This winter I actually bought some boots. Hurrah!

It's all so unfair. I figure if I have to deal with the ice afterwards, I should get to revel in the storm itself, right?

I called my friend Mandy today and left her a message asking if she could pick me up at the airport tomorrow. She in turn left me a message while I was in the shower saying sure she could pick me up probably IF she got her car unearthed from the massive snowbank she found it in upon her return from Idaho. That doesn't bode well for Bunny, my little car. I am so praying for 45 degrees and rain tomorrow. Melt that ice!

Sunkist

Shut up!! Sunkist Orange has caffeine? I just read an article in Marie Claire (or maybe it was Self. Or Glamour. did I mention I ADORE trashy magazines when I'm on vacation?) about the caffeine content in various drinks. Who decided to put caffeine in orange soda? Caffeine seems like an integral element to colas, and I can even see the Barq's root beer connection since it's brown like a cola, but orange soda seems out in left field. I don't claim to be an orthodox Mormon - I drink soda with caffeine ( I know, you're shocked and appalled). However, since I'm on the whole weight-loss trend, I'm trying to keep as little caffeine in my diet as possible. A doctor told me that caffeine stimulates the appetite, as well as other things, which I definitely don't want. The Saturday before I came to Chicago I did laundry at my local laundromat in between studying. I didn't have a chance to eat breakfast and it was coming up on noon and I thought I'd just buy a soda out of the vending machine to get some filler calories in me. What did I buy? Sunkist. Those soda guys are tricky.

And how exactly did I get to be 28 and not know about the caffeine in Sunkist?

Snow in Boston?!

So I heard from my dad yesterday that it snowed about a foot and a half in Boston. Is this true? Seriously, could someone let me know? Here is my dilemma. Before I left, I checked weather.com to see if it was supposed to snow while I was gone. The reason this was so important is because I live almost a mile from the T station and either I could wheel my really heavy suitcase along the still icy and slushy roads from the snow the day before, dodging a car every 30 seconds or so because no one sees fit to shovel their sidewalks, which, really let's be honest here, are old and craggy anyway with tree roots pushing through and unexpected dips in the brick paths, which are charming, but completely impractical with the added ice and such. OR I could drive my car over to a point about a block and a half from the T station and walk down the middle of the street, only dodging cars for a minute or two and only getting slightly out of breath as I wheel my really heavy suitcase to the T. So after checking the weather, which told me that for the next 10 days or so the skies would be pretty clear, with maybe a slight chance of rain, but in the 40s the whole time so don't even worry about it, Kelly, I drove my car over to the T and parked. Now apparently it has snowed and last night there was a deep freeze. So my little Ford Focus should be a completely plowed-over ice block by the time I get back to Boston on Thursday. Joy. Anyone want to pick me up at the airport?

I do have a smidgen of hope. Weather.com, who failed me before, but whom I'm clinging to in this time of panic, has informed me that Wednesday and Thursday are supposed to be in the 40s and Friday should be in the 50s with rain. Oh please oh please oh please. Please melt down my little block of ice.

Bears

It IS Charmin:
http://www.teddies-world.net/adver/charm.html

Have You Ever Noticed?

How family doesn't really see you as an adult until you're married, preferably with kids? I understand that I will always be my parents' kid, but I think they respect me more as an adult than a lot of my family. For instance, I emailed my aunt a couple of weeks ago and just told her all the stuff that I was working on in the past month or so. She wrote back and said "You are one busy girl!" This from the aunt who was 13 when I was born. I know it's just a phrase, but I think it sums up how they see me. First, I'm still in school - granted it's law school, and I have an MA on top of my BA, but to them it's just "school." I won't be an adult until I'm out of school. Second, there's no husband in sight - or even a boyfriend for that matter - as far as the eye can see. Is there just something wrong with Kelly that she can't hold onto a man? My cousin Marie didn't get married until she was 38, and I remember how the family talked about her in such a different way than those who were married with children, even if they were 15 years younger than Marie. It was like Marie was biding her time until a man came along, even though I knew she had a career she was happy with and was making a success of her life despite coming from some hard circumstances.

So what happens if I never get married? Am I always going to be little Kelly who doesn't have a "real" life, despite whatever else I happen to be doing?

Now don't even get me started on being single in the Mormon church. As my friend Katie said the other night in what has become my favorite TV catchphrase: Can open; worms everywhere.

Just So You Know What Kind of Geek You're Dealing With

My dad found a website of some guy who is selling all the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes! Alllright! My parents and I watch both Christmas ones every year - it's become a Christmas tradition. I think both movies came out in the early or mid 60's and they're hideous. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has Martians with green face paint and glittery painted scuba masks on their foreheads. Are the masks some sort of telepathy device? Screening from the UV due to Mars's thin atmosphere? Some sort of benign growth all Martians have from the aforementioned UV? I don't know.

Santa Claus is an English-dubbed Mexican movie with the freakiest reindeer you ever did see. I think it's the demonic laughter that worries me the most. One of the best lines: "That's not a doll, that's a sister!" as Lupita, the 4-year-old star staggers in with this doll as big as her. Both movies gain so much by having the MST3K guys give them the once over.

The other one I want is Attack of the Eye Creatures just because of the freaky guy in the striped nightgown. You know, they made some weird movies in the 60's.

Survival

I did it! I lived through this semester. I sometimes wondered if I would. When I told people everything I was doing this semester they would ask me, "Are you crazy?" The answer was always a definitive "Yes!" This semester I:

-worked 8 hours a week at one law firm
-interned 16 hours a week at another law firm
-took classes
-started the Health Law Society at BC Law and became President. We even managed to pull together a career panel in November with five practitioners for student to talk to.
-represented BC Law in the Health Law Section Steering Committee of the Boston Bar Association
-helped out with the Mock Trial competition for the Board of Student Advisors
-picked topics, found speakers and prayers, and coordinated with the music director for Sacrament Meetings every single week (well, no speakers on Fast Sunday, but you get the point)

I took my last final this morning and I think it went well. As I mentioned before, this was my prof who told us what was on the test beforehand. Despite that, there was still an insane amount of information and I basically typed straight through the entire 3 hours.

After the exam, I went to Macy's to spend my gift certificate that the attorney I interned for gave me (so nice!) and to get one of my roommate's Christmas presents. I had a minor meltdown on the drive out to the Burlington Mall. It just suddenly hit me that I did it. I made it through this semester that everyone said I was nuts to take on. I did it. I started crying thinking about it and realizing that next semester is going to be infinitely better.

And now, I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow I fly to Chicago for 9 days of doing nothing. Ah, the sheer decadence! My mom just IMed me and told me about all the yummy things they'll have to eat while I'm there (they went grocery shopping today). Hurray for parents and being able to relax!

Not To Be One of Those Christian Freaks...

Church today was wonderful. I love Christmas-time because it gives all of us a valid excuse to be all mushy and gushy and sweet and good to each other and talk about how much we really really appreciate just exactly what Christ did for us and why his birth - and his death and resurrection - are worthy of the immense joy this season brings. Today I gave a talk in church about The Gift of the Savior. I sat on the stand with my friend Christy who talked about The Gift of the Holy Ghost. Christy is one of the best people I know, and she gave an awesome talk. She is so kind and loving and funny and just makes me feel genuinely okay with who I am. Then we had a lovely musical number of What Child Is This and by the third verse, the tears had taken me over. I got through my talk, with only a little bit of tears. I always have this weird detached feeling when I stand up there, talking into the microphone. I have my talk written out and I speak the words, but I feel like I'm watching myself and am not quite sure what will come out of my mouth. Maybe that has to do with the whole fear of public speaking thing. However, I loved standing up there, looking out and seeing a sea of people who know me and care about me and who aren't going to judge me even if I stand up there and babble. Well, ok, maybe a little judgment - but I'd judge me too I suppose if that was all I did. Regardless, it felt good.

I wasn't going to go to Relief Society because I needed to come back to school and study for my final tomorrow morning, but I found out my friend Katie would be teaching so of course I had to stay for that. She is an aMAzing teacher. Here are the moments I love in church. Katie stood up there talking about the Savior, and I realized that she was making the same points I had made in my talk. She told me before Relief Society started that she had been a mess all through my talk, and I was a mess all through her lesson. Lots of tears today - but good, joyful tears. Afterwards I told her how I started writing my talk last Sunday and then I started over again last night. I came to the exact same point both times, even though I started from different angles. And it was the point Katie made too. The moments like that help me believe that maybe I am a little bit in tune spiritually and am saying the things that I, and the rest of my ward, need to hear.

The point is this: The Savior gave and gives us so much. In my talk I focused on the peace and love He gives. My favorite scripture is John 14:27"

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Finding that peace and joy for ourselves is only the beginning, though. To continue Christ's work, it is vital that we spread that peace and joy to others. Christmas gives us the opportunity to see how things could be if we felt the desire to share it every single day. The point of being a Christian, in my mind, is to share that joy. I don't mean that we have to run out and convert masses of people and tell them to believe what we believe. I'm talking about looking outside of ourselves and doing the best we can to "mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort," as well as take part in other people's joys. This is what I want to do this year (and next year and the next...). I want to be a better friend. I want to be able to share a bit of Christ's love with everyone, by being some sort of stand-in for Him. I know there have been so many times when I have received the comfort I had been praying for from my friends, and I want to be that person in others' lives. I want to embody the true meaning of "Christian" and help others through whatever it is they happen to be going through.

And I know I will fall WAY short, but then, that's the magic of the Atonement. We do all we can, knowing that Christ makes up the difference. Such a wonderful deal!

I Don't Think I Failed

I just finished Corporations and it wasn't as hideous as I thought it would be. It was long and detailed and there were definitely some answers I wasn't sure of. However, the questions were based almost verbatim on the cases. Makes me really glad that I caught up on my reading and didn't just try to wing it with notes alone. Phew! I'm glad that's done

Next is Mental Health and the Law on Monday. Assuming I make an effort at studying (which I plan to) I think I'll be okay since she TOLD US WHAT'S ON THE EXAM. No kidding. The last day of class she rattled off what the four essay questions would cover. Basically, we don't know the name of the mentally ill guy and his sister - most everything else is right there spelled out for us. The professor told us that last year the administration took issue with how high her grades were to which she replied, "I don't care." She said she figures we've been in class and have participated and have done the readings, why make the exam unnecessarily hard, which is refreshing considering the sadistic tendencies of law professors at exam time. Besides she's a judge. The administration is going to debate grades with a judge? Yeah, no.

And, oh yeah, I have to give a talk on Sunday. You would think since I'm the one who plans Sacrament Meeting I could have made things easier for myself - or heck, not even assigned myself a talk. However, the new bishop requested that I speak before the end of the year and the 19th was the ONLY time I could do it. I am SOOO not into public speaking and since my prep time for this talk has been almost non-existent - well, I'm going with the Spirit on this one. I think the bishop thinks I have good things to say, but I think he may be wrong. At least I think I can guarantee it won't be stream of consciousness (we had one of those a couple of months ago. It wasn't pretty)

Ghost Stories

It's 8:35 PM and I am officially stopping this whole studying thing and leaving school. I will return bright and early just in time to fail my Corporations final. Is there a direct correlation between that and discovering that I really like writing this and doing important things like looking up "toilet paper bears"? Perhaps. However, since no one seems to want to hire me as an attorney right now, I'm thinking about a career as a professional blogger. Anyone want to pay me to do this?

A friend and I discussed ghost stories today (and since he's a fan I'd like to give a shout out to Allen). We both have some creepy spine-tingling stories - I love that spine-tingling feeling. I wonder where ghosts fit into Mormon theology? I can see a place for them, since we do believe in spirits and in certain immutable traits. I figure I'll still be me when this life is all over and done with. So I can see, say, a mother checking up on her child, but what about the random hauntings you hear about? What's the explanation? Overactive imaginations? I personally don't think I can chalk it all up to that.

OK, I'm really leaving now. Wish me luck on my final!


PS I can't really fail. It's BC Law after all, the touchy-feely law school. I'll just get a big fat C.

Toilet Paper Bears

Does anyone else find Charmin's new mascots really disturbing? They have sort of ethereal little cartoons with big ole brown bears in the woods talking about how clean and fresh Charmin makes them. OK I don't want to know that much about the potty habits of animated bears. They just look SO SO pleased and do a little shimmy dance at the end.

(At least, I'm pretty sure it's Charmin. Let's Google that: "toilet paper" + bears

http://www.mrspohlmeyerskinderpage.com/bears.htm
Scroll down to "Toilet Paper Roll Bears: We make bears from toilet paper rolls"
I don't understand that. Really, TP rolls are too skinny to make a realistic bear, people. Come on now.

http://www.bears-lair.com/dir_name__Web_Links--l_op__viewlinkdetails--lid__644--ttitle__Win_Toilet_Paper
Down at the VERY bottom of the page: Win Toilet Paper. Apparently you can win 24 rolls of toilet paper in a weekly drawing. Ooookay.

http://www.papabearsnorthwoods.com/
Wisconsin's LARGEST Rustic Home Furnishings Store. You can get a bear TP holder, dontcha know.)

OK, back to the Corporations outline. Tomorrow I fail the test and won't have to outline anymore. Hurray!

I Passed!

I passed the MPRE! Hooray!

Oh My Heck

It's freakin' cold outside.

(The above lines are proof positive that I am a Mormon who spent a substantial amount of time in the Mormon Belt - Utah/Arizona/Idaho)

But seriously, it's cold. Suddenly my heavy coat, scarf, and earmuffs are all very very necessary as I walk to the T. According to my WeatherBug update, it's 24 degrees in Cambridge. I suppose it's about time I pull the air conditioner out of my window. I felt a distinctly chilly breeze as I stood in front of that window this morning.

Has anyone else discovered the joy of earmuffs? The first time I visited my parents in Chicago when I was 19 I was oh-so-not prepared for the cold. Yes, I spent my first year of college in Vermont, but it was a very mild winter. And Chicago is a world unto itself as far as cold, blustery winters go. All those tall building create the most amazing wind tunnels. Wrap-your-umbrella-around-you-as-you-cross-the-street wind tunnels. So I stepped off the plane from Tucson into O'Hare Airport; no problem. From the airport to the car in the parking garage; completely inside, NO problem. However, I froze my behind off walking from my parents' parking space to their apartment - and it was all of 50 feet. The next day my dad and I walked to the mall (Water Tower Place) 3 blocks away and by the time I got there I had my gloved hands over my ears. The pain - oh the pain! - of frozen ears. At the mall I bought some earmuffs and I have never looked back. I don't care if people think I look stupid, my ears are toasty warm and for some reason that makes everything ok. I think the muting effect of the earmuffs on city noises makes me feel more peaceful too. Zen in a couple of fuzzy black discs.

Iraq - To Amy

The following is a response to my cousin's comment to my post about being sad because my other cousin, her brother, is in Iraq.

Dear Amy,
Since I have talked a little about politics on this site, I suppose I should say more about why I feel the way I do. I have thought about the other side of the coin; I've thought about this from many angles. I love Greg and I know he truly believes he is doing the right thing by being in Iraq. I completely respect that and am so grateful that he and the many other people in the military are willing to risk their lives for the rest of us. Even though I don't support the war, I have been tempted to buy one of those "Support Our Troops" stickers because I do support them, especially now that a family member is there.

I am a pacifist by nature, disliking conflict in my own life and abhorring warfare. I remember vividly when we began fighting in Afghanistan. I cried, but I believed we were there for a reason. Al-Qaeda attacked the US and the Taliban harbored Al-Qaeda. The war in Afghanistan was a defensive war. If we had done nothing I would have been very angry. However, once the people in the Bush administration turned the focus to Iraq, they lost my support. It happened so quickly. In the 2002 State of the Union address, only four months after 9/11, Bush began talking about "the axis of evil" - Iraq, Iran, and North Korea. Suddenly the focus was off of Afghanistan, where the Taliban was routed and Al-Qaeda dispersed to an extent, but not destroyed or dismantled.

I didn't and don't understand the point of being in Iraq. I didn't support being there in the early 90's either, but at least there was some semblance of an argument for force - that Iraq invaded Kuwait and we were fighting against that aggressive action. This time we were told that there were weapons of mass destruction - I remember Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld telling us so. Once it was revealed that there were no WMD's, the main argument they gave for going to Iraq, I was furious. The people in the administration began backpedaling, stating that they hadn't been sure, and had never said they were sure. But I remember them saying the weapons were definitely there and we needed to go in so Saddam Hussein couldn't use them against us. They also told us that Al-Qaeda and Iraq were linked. Another untruth.

Now we are there and Americans die every day - for what? Now that we are there, it is a mess, and I hope someone has a way for us to extricate ourselves before Iraq becomes simply a protectorate of the United States.

I do not believe in offensive war, which is what the war in Iraq is. I believe in fighting to protect home and family and a way of life. Iraq was not a threat to any of those when we started this war.

Some may argue that Saddam Hussein is an awful dictator who killed his own people. This is true. However, that can be said about many despots in many different countries. Will we be fighting in those countries next? China has been cited for many human rights violations over the years, but we will not question them for many reasons, one of which is the mass amount of trade between our two countries. I don't believe that it is the responsibility of the United States to be the world's police, especially by taking unilateral action.

I don't have an answer to the world's ills, but on the other hand I don't believe starting a war is an answer.

So these are my opinions. I usually don't discuss politics with you and the rest of the extended family because I know we have very different opinions and I would rather just enjoy our time and communications with each other, rather than foster contention. I hope you understand that I love and support Greg and hope with all of my heart that he comes home safe and sound. I hope all of our troops do, and I hope they can come home soon.

Love,
Kelly

Oh dear

http://www.wholesomewear.com/

Diet Coke w/ Lime, aka Crack....w/ Lime

This morning I went to Store 24 (interchangeable with 7-11 or Circle K) for my jolt of caffeine for the day. I usually don't drink a ton of caffeine, but around finals time, well, really I should just hook myself up to a caffeine IV when all is said and done. I walked up to the cooler and at the very front of the Diet Coke w/ Lime selection was a bottle with a giant orange 99 cent sticker on it. Hurrah! My caffeine fix and savings. The guy rings it up and says, "$1.34." I say, "Wha... It says 99 cents." He says "Yes, but that was before. The date has passed." I turn the bottle around. Nowhere on the lovely orange sticker o' savings does it have a date. I point that out to him. He says "Yes, but the date has passed. It was the 15th. What was that...two weeks ago." I look at him blankly. He sighs "OK, fine, I'll sell it to you for 99 cents."

The moral of the story is if you argue or just look confused, you will get your price. I'm sure that's a conclusion that many of you have come to before, but in my new-found law school obstinacy, I'm discovering things like this all the time.

My Mediation paper is now 19 pages long and I'm just about done editing it and then I can send it off to my professor and concentrate on my 2 finals. Corporations is the plan for today and just ask me how much I do not want to study for that exam. Go ahead, ask. First of all, I've been working in Corporate Law for a year and a half now and realize that much of what we have been reading and listening to lectures on is completely obtuse and useless when it comes to the practicalities of day to day practice. In reality, yeah it's good to have some sort of foundation, but I wrote a memo on fiduciary duties this semester for my internship about 2 months before I actually studied it in my Corporations class and, guess what, my memo was just great without having read the 111 pages on fiduciary duties in my textbook.

Second, my professor is insane. Seriously. He started out mildly; I just figured he was a little eccentric. As the semester wore on, he got weirder and weirder, with strange little rambling asides that the class couldn't quite hear as he mulled over some point of law in his head. Then he'd look at us with his red face and yellow hair and slightly maniacal grin and call out "Are you with me?" Smile and nod seemed to be the best approach.

So I get to study for that test now. I have a whole big diatribe on law school testing and grading, but I'm not going to get into that now. I'll just say it's all based on whether we happen to be reading a professor's mind that particular day.

It's A Fact

Eating large quantities of Christmas-wrapped Reese's peanut butter cups over the course of the day will not only keep you energized, but will also prevent you from being hungry for anything else. To attempt to counteract the large amounts of sugar coursing through my system, I am now eating carrots. Mm-mm-mm.

Ironic that I just wrote about losing weight. Huh. I guess in a couple of weeks I'll be writing about coping with the crippling depression that my massive weight gain has inspired.

Losing Weight

I have been battling my weight since I was 9 years old, mostly on the losing side. My metabolism and predilection for ice cream and dark chocolate continually conspire against me. However, since I moved to Boston I've lost 35 pounds (most of it since shedding my ex. Talk about dead weight ;) ). It's reached the point recently that I am getting lots of comments and my old clothing is no longer fitting me well. That's fabulous, of course, except for my lack of money to buy new clothes. Maybe if I start wearing my baggy sweatpants everywhere, one of my friends will nominate me for What Not To Wear, or write Oprah telling her about their sad sad friend who desperately needs a new wardrobe - and a trip to Italy - and maybe a convertible... I don't want to lose weight so guys will look at me - although that is a nice perk - but because it feels so good to try on cute clothes and say things like "Oh my gosh! I'm a Medium at Ann Taylor! Do you know how long it's been since I've been a Medium?!" Oh and yeah, health and wellness and feeling more mentally alert blah blah blah.

Lately I've become the unofficial spokeswoman for www.ediets.com, mostly because they're so practical in their approach to weight loss. Well, unless you do one of the extreme diets. But my mama always told me to eat my fruits and vegetables and whole wheat bread so I'm all about the balanced diet. They give you recipes, menus, and grocery lists. Well, not "give" since there is a monthly fee, but it's not much and is totally worth it in my mind. Since I am also a Dr. Phil acolyte (don't judge) I'm doing his plan and it's fabulous! The recipes are really yummy. Ex: today for lunch I'm having a Mediterranean Salmon Couscous Salad and an apple. How can you beat that? (Anyone who mentions New York Super Fudge Chunk will be summarily dismissed)

I'm thinking about this a lot today because I weighed myself at the gym and I've lost another couple of pounds despite the 4 day span of gluttony that was Thanksgiving weekend. Hooray!

Single 4-Ever

I just found out another one of my terminally single friends has acquired a semi-boyfriend. That's 2 in 2 days. I am genuinely happy for them, especially for my friend who feels like she's met THE ONE, but I wish it could be my turn.

Is it me? Is it the men? Is it Boston? Is it "just not the right time" as everyone keeps assuring me?

Not to obsess.... A friend and I were discussing just the other day how obsessive and crazy we become around finals time. I'm chalking it up to that desire to think about ANYthing besides the fact that I have finals to prepare for and I am not prepared at all.

Procrastination

OK, so I didn't get to my paper today, but I did manage to get two of my backed-up Corporations assignments read. It's progress, even if it's lame-o, not enough progress.

After sleeping for 8 1/2 hours last night I realized, hey, I'm tired. This semester has worn me out. I am so looking forward to flying to Chicago on the 21st and relaxing for 8 days. Oh except for the days my mom has set aside for mandatory baking. Every couple of years she gets a bee in her bonnet about us baking like crazy for Christmas, which usually translates into her supervising as I bake up 9 or 10 different types of cookies. My parents used to have doormen we could distribute to, but now they live in the suburbs. 2 years ago, we sent the majority of the cookies to my now ex-boyfriend who was on a mission. I don't know if he and his companion even got through them all. Who knows who we'll give them all to this year. The horses at the stables down the street? My mom became the baking taskmaster once she acquired Big Red - her KitchenAid mixer. She loves to supervise.

The Mouse Story

{Warning: The following is grody. Maybe even to the max}

So way back in September I alluded to The Mouse Story and then never told it. Since I am of the belief that it's best to release painful memories, I shall write it out for you all.

Context (my old roommate truly believes that context is key and I have latched onto that philosophy with a vengeance): For two years I lived in a 4th-floor apartment with a roommate and her three cats. According to the slightly crazy lady on the 3rd floor our building was infested with mice. Jenn and I attributed the fact that we had never seen a mouse to the fact that A) Jenn has three cats, and B) the lady on the 3rd floor is slightly crazy.

In July I moved to a new apartment with no central air and cooled my room using a window AC and my big box fan, which had spent most of the prior two years lying on its side under my roommate's futon. One morning in September I was getting ready for school, when I happened to glance at my fan and noticed a dried-up leaf was stuck inside the bottom of the fan. As I went in for a closer look I realized that the "stem" was actually a TAIL and the leaf was furry.

Flashback to crazy lady on the 3rd floor and I realized that mouse had probably been in there for at least 3 months. Eeek!

Under my disgust was the thought "Poor mousey!" but then I'm a little off-kilter myself.

What to do, what to do? Yes, practicality says suck it up, pull the fan apart, and dump out the mouse. Not appealing. I called my mom. Her suggestion was to trash my fan and go to the Home Depot and buy a new fan, which happened to be on sale just then because she and my dad had just bought one. I love my mom.

However, on my starving student budget I couldn't quite justify that. Then I realized my roommate Angie is a biologist. I asked her sheepishly if she would get the mouse out and she agreed. Hooray!

So she took care of it and then I got out the Lysol cleaner and started disinfecting the fan. it was then that I noticed on the inside top of the fan was this layer of grime. Weird. I started scrubbing away and then looked at the paper towel. Fur! Ack! Apparently (grodiness really starts now) one of the fan blades had taken off the top of the mouse and thwacked it on the top. I mentioned that to Angie and she said, "Yeah, when I took the mouse out it looked like part of it was missing."

Ew ew ew.

And that's the mouse story. It was traumatic.

Should Be Writing A Paper

But I wrote 12 pages of it Saturday and somehow that translates to "never have to work on it again tra la la la la."

I've been sitting here at school checking my email, etc for the past hour and now I have an hour and a half until I have to go meet with one of the deans to see if I can get out of my professional Responsibility class next semester seeing as how I took the MPRE already and did professionally responsible stuff in my internship. We shall see what she has to say.

I love this time of year and am sad I can't decorate this year. No time. Ah, you say, but you have time to check email and procrastinate writing. Yes, but that's different. Mostly because I'm at school and can justify an hour here or there goofing off, whereas decorating is a big production. I usually decorate over Thanksgiving, but I was in Ohio this year visiting with a couple of old roommates. So I will have to be content with listening to Christmas music ad nauseum and my roommate's poinsettia in the middle of the dining room table.

I got my mom the *BEST* Christmas present the other day and I am so happy. I was doing a little happy dance all the way home. I hope she loves it as much as I think she will. Now I'm trying to figure out what special something to get my dad.

How do I get the cute guys on the T to talk to me? That's my question of the day. I'm trying to get better about glancing quickly away whenever we make eye contact, and actually smiling. I usually get a smile in return, so what am I afraid of? I realize my "can't let him know that I like him" attititude is very 5th grade, but I can't seem to shake it sometimes. What's wrong if a guy knows I think he's cute? At the bare minimum, it will give him a little ego boost for the day, right?

Alright, going to make an attempt at the paper. Orrrrr, I'm going to have another Peppermint Patty. Decisions, decisions....

MPRE

I took the MPRE today. That's the professional responsibility exam that all future lawyers have to take. In Massachusetts you have to take the exam and pass it before taking the Bar exam. So it's kind of important. I totally feel like I failed. I don't really know what more I could have done, short of memorizing the 150 page outline they gave us (and yes, I realize there are probably some psycho people who do that, but I am just not one of them). I studied so much and I still feel like there were too many answers I was unsure about. Well, one of my friends feels like she did poorly too so since they grade on a curve maybe I have a shot.

So I've determined what's wrong with online dating. Here's my theory. In real life, you meet someone and usually there's some sort of spark, right? Then you get to know each other and find out if you have things in common, if you want the same things, if you're intellectually, mentally and emotionally suited. OR you're friends first and romance blossoms. But there's usually some underlying sexual tension all along - at least that's been my experience. When you're online dating, it's like checking out someone's resume. They look great on paper! Wow, you like the same TV shows, you're both educated and want the same things, etc. Then you meet - no spark. Sigh, back to the drawing board. The whole set up is backwards, really. This is my reason why it's not working for me - not that I'm a loser.

Kelly

Online Dating

Niece is in quotes because her mom isn't really my sister, we just look like sisters. So I get to be Auntie Kelly, which I love because I'm an only child and don't have any nieces or nephews of my own.

About a year ago a friend of mine talked me into going onto match.com. She was doing it and wanted a buddy to share stories with. I've only actually gone out with one guy from match and it was okay. There was just nothing really there. He was a nice guy, but no sparks - and I need sparks. So over the past year I've been back and forth on the sites, sometimes my profile is hidden, sometimes it's not. I also joined some Mormon singles sites. I've discovered over the past year that there are a LOT of weirdos on online dating sites. There's a reason they're online, I guess. There are some nice guys though, they're not ALL freakshows. I just winked at a guy who looked relatively normal and according to match.com we have an "excellent" chance of being compatible, whatever that means. Anyone else venturing into the perils of online dating?

I don't even know why I'm trying to meet someone this semester. OBViously with everything that's going on, this is supposed to be a career-focused semester, but I still like poking around and checking out who's online. It's a bit of an ego boost to get emails from decent guys too. :)

Sometimes I worry that I'll never meet anyone who I clicked with like my ex. I get maudlin, thinking about what we had, how comfortable we were together, how quickly we connected, the plans we made for the future. Then I remember things like how he didn't come over when I fractured my back because he had too much homework, how he couldn't come pick me up when my class got out a half hour early on my birthday because he was watching CSI, all of the times he'd verbally pat me on my head and talk about my goals like they were some sort of hobby, and his education and aspirations were what were REALLY important. Yeah, it's easier not to miss him then. :) Honestly, I don't want a thing to do with him, but my mind wanders back there because he was the last real thing and there hasn't been anyone since. I think I need a rebound man. ;)

The talk at work today: "Bush is such a moron." OK, that was only one of the attorneys. Everyone else was more articulate about it. I'm wondering what the Edwards/Cheney debate will hold. One of the attorneys speculated that Cheney would lash out and be spiteful and nasty, then the Republicans would cloister him away somewhere, but the damage would be done to Edwards. I wonder if that happens, if it will just backfire. How Cheney is so successful in politics with such a nasty disposition is beyond me. I think Cheney has the tenacious bulldog persona going on, while Edwards is the smiling man of the people. Cheney will probably try to paint Edwards as the slick attorney, which may be successful to a degree. I think Edwards comes off much better than Cheney generally, though. I like to hear Edwards speak and I'm interested to see how those debates will go.

Time to do some actual homework. Very exciting

My "niece"

Watch the Debates?

Kerry won, as far as I can tell.

It's not so much about who "won", as just that Kerry really sounded on the ball and said concrete things, versus the sound bites of GW.

One comment from GW toward the beginning of the debate that just got me. As Kerry talked about programs and what he wants to do, GW followed it up with saying that he didn't know where the money for all of that was going to come from. Sounds like a big tax gap to him - but that's for another debate. Yeah, ok George. First of all, Kerry had just said he was going to take away those tax cuts to the rich that GW loves so much. Second, GW is the LAST person to talk about spending money prudently and asking where money is going to come from with the deficit he's run up.

My cousin who is 3 years younger than me is in the Marine reserves and he's going to Iraq next month. I was driving to Target and talking to my mom on my headset when she told me. I almost started crying. It's just all such a waste - all of those soldiers and civilians dead. I pray that God will watch over him.

When I was in high school I had a teacher who told us about an analyst who told Pres. Johnson in the 60's that it would take 500,000 troops forever just to maintain the U.S. position in Vietnam - not to win, just to maintain. Many of the reports I'm reading about now, as the violence continues to escalate, sound similar.

Does it strike anyone else as surreal that I can be sitting on my couch, watching Letterman, typing away at this, and there are wars and genocide and people starving in refugee camps all over the world? I am religious and sometimes it seems like we're looking at the signs of the times, the things leading up to the end.

But then I always wonder how much of the Revelations prophecies are only metaphorical.

Kelly

Late Night Again

Why do I always seem to think of writing this on nights when I just don't feel like going to sleep. I lost my voice on Sunday and it's still not really back, although today while singing along to the radio I did manage to hit a couple of notes on key. My boss told me yesterday that my throaty voice sounds sexy. Well, sheesh, I'm wasting my time here at home. I need to be heading for some bars, picking up some guys.

I just got an email from a guy from my class in high school who is organizing a 10 year reunion with his wife who also graduated in our year (and I just have to say, really, never would have put the two of them together). I feel like it has been awhile since graduation, but nowhere near ten years. I can't go, because flights from Boston to Tucson don't come cheap and I'm going to a friend's wedding in California just a couple of weeks before. Besides, 10 year reunions seem like those show-off times. I'm happy with what I'm doing in school, but I still don't have a job after graduation. I'm not married, I don't have a boyfriend. I'd hate to go and see everyone else trotting around with a significant other, and me alone, sipping my Diet Coke. Smiling good-naturedly, but noticing every little intimate coupley thing that people do. Casual touches, intimate smiles. It all just makes me feel lonely.

The Big E Rocks My World

Well, I made it to The Big E yesterday and it was a blast. I love the whole fair aesthetic. Not for every day living - like I don't want a bunch of sheep in the backyard and hucksters in the living room - but for a once a year outing, it's fabulous. I walked around, looked at crafts and goods and wares, ate a lot of food that was very bad for me and probably negates any working out and eating well I've done for the past month or so. And I even brought home a caramel apple for later. Yay!

I had the weirdest dream last night. I've been told that in dreams every person is some aspect of yourself. So last night I dreamt that I ditched this whole Mormon thing and decided to become an Episcopalian priest. I had these snazzy sky blue robes with a white collar to wear. My Mormon friends were half aghast, half non-judgmental. The awkward bit was that our churches held services in the same building. Some people pointed at me as I walked by and said "I can't believe it!" "She is so wrong!" and things like that. Other people said "What does it matter? She's still Christian and she's a good person and one church is as good as another." At the end of the dream, though, I wanted to be Mormon again. I realized I had just been having an off day and that I didn't want to be a priest for another church, but I wanted to belong to my church again. That's how the dream ended.

So whatever THAT means...

I am slowly regaining my voice. My cold has morphed into a slightly stuffy nose and a frog voice. It's the weirdest thing to open my mouth and have to think so very hard about talking because the sound isn't coming out as easily as it usually does.

Tomorrow, the mouse story. Sweet dreams.

Need To Go To Sleep....

Today I was reading my cousin's blog and I thought it would be fun to start writing about my life to perfect strangers. I wonder what it takes for people to actually read someone else's blog? I'll have to call my friends - please come read my boring late-night rambles so I feel appreciated by the internet community!

So I think my schedule finally caught up with me and now I'm fighting off a cold. Bleh. I hate getting sick. I never get sick and feel aggravated on those rare occasions when I do. My mom always tries to tell me it's my body's way of telling me to slow down. Whatever, I don't have time for that. (vicious cycle, really) Now I'm on a Sudafed high, waiting to come down so I can go to sleep. I'm supposed to go to the fair tomorrow (check out www.thebige.com), and I hope I'm awake enough.

Lots of fun infomercials though. I could have perfect skin AND get a tight butt AND buy some sassy jewelry off QVC to complete my look. Really, who could ask for more? Ooo, Jackie Chan on TBS! Lovely!

Earlier tonight our power went off. It's very creepy to be sitting in a well-lit living room watching TV, and then to suddenly be plunged into darkness. My mind immediately goes to every ghost story I have ever heard and runs through them all, and I just KNOW they're behind me as I scurry to my room to get my flashlight. Silly for a 27 year-old? Yes. But I don't feel 27. Usually I'm about 18, but sometimes I'm 5.

Time to make an attempt to fall asleep. Sweet dreams!