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Day Two

Done! And you know what? I don't even care anymore. I mean, I'll care midday on October 20, 2008* when the results are released, but until then I'm just so, SO happy it's over.

Today was the Multistate and I don't really know what to say about that. The Multistate sucks. It just does. I have no idea how I did. Last time I felt like I failed for sure, but I passed anyway. There were some questions that I definitely knew the answers to and others where I basically did the equivalent of closing my eyes and pointing at the page. I know everyone else basically felt the same and they can't fail us all so I just have to get a marginally decent score and I'll be golden.

At the very end of the afternoon session I thought to myself, "This is just a miserable exercise." I knew that of course, but hadn't articulated it to myself so succinctly.

So anyway, I did not eat ice cream, but instead got taken to the French restaurant and had Seafood Mac and Cheese (shrimp, scallops, lobster, mascarpone, fontina perfection) and a lovely dark chocolate pot de creme for dessert. I think I might get some filthy rich ice cream after I sleep in and get a massage tomorrow.

Then it's back to the whole eating healthy and exercising thing because I've probably put on 5 pounds in this last week alone.


*Also our 1st wedding anniversary. Huh.

Early Morning

It's almost 4 AM Wednesday morning and I am pretty much wide awake. I woke up about a half hour ago. It's so early that instead of yelling at me to feed him when he saw I was awake, Tiny just curled up at my feet to keep me company while I read and re-read blogs.

I woke up with my mind racing about what I maybe should have said on the essay questions that I had no idea about. I thought about looking up the law when I got home yesterday to try to figure out what I should have written, but decided that would only be depressing and counterproductive. I'm trying to have the same philosophy that I did last time: it's done. There's nothing I can do now. Move forward to the next part.

So last night Jason and I ate sushi and watched Alias reruns and I downed Excedrin to try to kill off the headache I got about a half hour after the exam finished. I switched to Ibuprofen this morning and I think it's finally starting to work since the main issue isn't really my head per se, but the tightness in my right shoulder, which is where all of my stress lives. Yesterday after writing for about an hour and a half straight I finally looked up from the exam and realized my neck was so stiff that I had to roll it around a little before I could actually lift my head all the way.

I miss being able to talk with people about the test this time around. Although all of my friends and I had an agreement that we would NOT rehash the exam, we did talk about general impressions. It's comforting when you know that every single person you know also feels like they completely bombed the Multistate. We couldn't have ALL failed (and no one I know did). I saw a few people yesterday from my Barbri class and we said hi and wished each other good luck, but I don't really know any of them well enough to call and discuss how we felt about the whole thing.

So I feel kind of alone in my angst this time around, chiming in on other people's conversations and eavesdropping to try to get a general impression so that I don't feel like I'm the only one who is wallowing in suckitude.

I am grateful to have Jason this time around. As aggravating as he has been at times over the past couple of months, and as much friction as my Bar stress has generated, right now he is full of encouragement and tenderness. In fact, he just woke up and wandered out to the living room to see where I was. He told me to come back to bed and go to sleep because I need my sleep for my big exam today. I'll try that in a little bit - if I feel tired. Last night he offered to take me out to one of our favorite fancy restaurants tonight. I told him I would love that if I'm not the aforementioned pile of goo tonight after the Multistate. He's a pretty nice guy.

Day One

First of all, thank you, thank you to everyone who wished me good luck! I really appreciate it. It means a lot going into this knowing that people are rooting for me.

Last time I came out of the state day feeling pretty darn good about myself. Today...it's a toss-up. This morning was actually pretty awesome. First was the MPT. I'm pretty sure I spotted the appropriate issues, analyzed the cases well, etc. etc. Then we had a little break and then the 3 Rhode Island essays. Which I'm pretty sure I rocked. I left for my lunch break feeling sooooo much better than I did when I showed up this morning.

Then came the afternoon and the 6 Multistate Essays. I've decided that I kind of hate the National Conference of Bar Examiners. They're the ones who wrote those things. I was basically talking out of my a** for 2 1/2 of the 6 essays. Question 1 in particular sucked, which is not a very nice way to open up an essay exam. NCBE, I'm looking at you.

I told Jason about the 2 1/2 essays and he pointed out that everyone else was probably making stuff up too. At least I was definitive about my BS. I wrote like the law I was making up on the spot was true and correct.

I felt a little better when I heard one girl say to her friend, "It's easy to leave early when you don't have anything to say."

The good news is, the MEE questions are graded locally. So I just have to hope other people in Rhode Island were as befuddled as me. The other good news is, I'm pretty sure I rocked the other 3 MEE questions, including one on Civil Procedure which is pretty awesome since as of 2 days ago I knew little to nothing about Civil Procedure. Let's hear it for short-term memory! I just have to hope that the morning's performance, plus the 3 MEE's I think I did well on, get me through to passing. Oh yeah, I still have the Multistate tomorrow. I will probably be a pile of goo on the floor after that, so don't expect to hear anything from me.

Rhode Island is, shall we say, not so professional as Massachusetts when it comes to administering the Bar. There were probably about a third of the number of people taking the entire RI Bar as take the Massachusetts Bar in Boston (they also administer it in Springfield). Instead of the standard one hour lunch break the proctor took it upon himself to only give us a half hour because he wanted to get us in and out of there. They ran out of copies of one of the Rhode Island essay questions. Um, you did know how many people signed up to take this test, right? They gave us ID badges and the date I signed it and half my signature was cut off, as well as part of my forehead in the picture. So, yeah, not really a top-rate show.

My hand is tired.

Things I Am Looking Forward To After the Bar

• Massage on Thursday
• A big giant treat from Cold Stone right after the Multistate on Wednesday
• Maybe a steak from the Texas Roadhouse
  
• Going to Block Island with some friends on Friday without the Bar hanging over my head
• Cleaning my apartment (ongoing struggle between Jason and me. We have different ideas of clean, in that as long as there is enough space somewhere for him to sleep and check his email, he is A-OK. Said space being sanitary is not a prerequisite)

Put A Fork in Me

Today I reviewed and outlined about 16 essays and did some Property Multistate questions. I also reviewed my Agency and Partnership notes and then went over some Agency and Partnership essays and thought, "I think I get the concept."

I plan to go to work with Jason tomorrow and finish cramming bits of state law into my short-term memory. I also have a couple of lists to memorize and I plan on reviewing the last essays in the essay books because they are the most recent ones and thus will hopefully be a good indication of what is to come on Tuesday.

I have a stack of books and notecards sitting next to me that I will load in my backpack and take to Brown tomorrow. Tonight I'm going to watch my usual Sunday night cartoon line-up and get a good night's sleep. I'm sure I'll wake up at 6:45 tomorrow morning like I have the last couple of mornings.

So 1 day and about 12 hours until I show up at the convention center and do this whole Bar thing again. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this whole thing, here's what I have coming up:

Tuesday
3-hour morning session
1 1/2 hours for 3 state essays (yes, that's a half hour per question)
1 1/2 hours for the MPT (a practical test that I'm actually looking forward to. They give you a scenario, law and cases and you have to write a memo to a partner or a letter to a client explaining the issues. So it's kind of like what I've been doing as an associate attorney. I have done one practice MPT and nailed every single issue they mentioned in the model answer. Thus, I have spent the rest of my time learning law and not worrying about the MPT)

3-hour afternoon session
6 Multistate Essay questions (again, a half hour per question)
On the state day they can test us on Wills, Trusts, Agency, Partnership, Secured Transactions, Commercial Paper, Civil Procedure, Federal Jurisdiction, Torts, Property, Contracts, Criminal Law, Criminal Procedure, Evidence, Constitutional Law, Conflict of Laws, Equity aaand...I'm sure I'm forgetting something. But, you know, a lot of stuff.

Wednesday
2 3-hour sessions of 100 multiple choice Multistate questions
Multistate topics: Contracts, Torts, Property, Constitutional Law, Criminal Law, Criminal Procedure, Evidence

In Massachusetts the state day is on Thursday. While it's kind of a bummer to lose a day of studying this time around, it will be nice to be done a day sooner.

I feel okay and am just hoping that the state tests on things I actually know and that I really do know enough about the Multistate topics. This time I think I'll sleep okay the night before (versus last time when I got 2 hours of sleep before the first test day), but I know that I'm a bit stressed because my shoulders feel like a solid chunk of tensed muscle and if I sit still for too long, I kind of have to roll my neck around a little to get it to turn properly. I'm getting a massage Thursday afternoon.

{Deep breath}

Failure is Not An Option

So I've hit this point where I have convinced myself that I know nothing and that I'm going to fail because I haven't done nearly enough to study. I don't remember if I felt like this 3 years ago. I'm sure I must have, right? Those of you who knew me then, did I? Was I convinced that failure was imminent?

I have spent today condensing the Multistate topics into tidy 2-page outlines with just the very basic ideas. After finishing that I thought I should try some Multistate questions because since I've just spent 8 or 9 hours reviewing and condensing these topics, I should do pretty well on those questions, right? Not so much.

I'm trying to decide if I really know nothing or if I'm just kind of burnt out for the day. Maybe I have hit a Multistate saturation point. I'm doing worse than I was a couple of weeks ago. I think in the past week or so I've done about 800 Multistate questions. I've probably done 1200 total.

I think I'm going to have a big bowl of popcorn and stew in my panic for the rest of the evening.

Friday

Today I:

Either outlined or read 32 essays
Reviewed Domestic Relations, Wills, Trusts, Conflict of Laws, Equity and Corporations
Did 20 Torts MBE's

It doesn't seem like much, but I'm kind of pooped. I have a goal to get 20 more problems in each MBE topic done tonight, but we'll see. I mean, I still have 3 days, what am I worried about?*

We're baby-sitting for some friends tonight and I'm kind of excited because the baby might actually be awake when we get there instead of asleep like usual. He's a really cool baby.

Usually when we baby-sit it entails entertaining ourselves while the baby sleeps. Our friends are always really grateful, but we tell them, Hey, we could watch TV at your house or watch TV at our house. Doesn't really matter.

* That would be heavy sarcasm because ohmygosh! 3 days?! That's all?!

I Don't Know Nothin', Coppers

If watching Netflixed reruns of Alias has taught me nothing else, I think I can affirm that my house is under surveillance. Or maybe the neighbors' house. There has been a big white van from the electric company parked next to our house for several hours now. I haven't seen any work being done, although they did make a small effort by scattering some random orange cones in the general vicinity of the van. Yeah, I won't believe it until someone either starts digging, or scurrying up a telephone pole.

Sadists

Just to give you an idea of the insanity, I just finished a Property problem set in which I was only supposed to get 16 out of 35 right. I wound up getting 17 right (but most of those had second choice answers that I was really close to picking). I just have to keep reminding myself that not all of the real Multistate questions will be impossible and evil - only some of them.

Impatient

Yesterday was panic day. One of the attorneys I work with who took the Bar last summer loaned me his PMBR books so I could have some more Multistate practice questions. I bombed. So last night I was panicking. I only have a week left! I'm going to fail! What have I been doing with my time?!

This morning I emailed the attorney who loaned me the books and asked what sort of percentages he was getting on the questions when he did them. He wrote back and said Haha and told me not to worry. He and all of his friends felt good to get half the PMBR questions right and they all passed the Bar. PMBR delights in picking obscure little tidbits of law and asking about them.

So that made me feel better. Because honestly for about half of those questions I did yesterday I read the question and answers and then read them again and then thought, "What are these people talking about?!" That doesn't feel good when you've supposedly been reviewing this stuff for 7 weeks.

I feel pretty good in Criminal Law and Procedure, Property and Torts (yeah, Torts. The class I did the worst in my 1L year. Who knew?). I feel middling in Evidence and Contracts. Constitutional Law is hit or miss. Oddly, most people do the best in Con Law, but it's always seemed elusive to me.

I told Jason tonight I know there are a few things I still need to memorize and solidify, mostly for the state day, but generally I'm getting antsy and just kind of feel like, let's do this thing already. I want to get back to my life.

Today's Events

Today was Contracts. I met the marks that Barbri set for their Multistate questions so that's good enough for me. I have officially decided that 1 1/2 columns in a 2 column page is too long for a hypothetical question. That's all I have to say about that.

When the temperature inside my apartment hit 87 (and muggy) I had to escape to the air-conditioning of Jason's scientific lab type building. It was glorious. I also ran into another person with a Barbri book whose spouse works in the building. I suppose that happens when you're in a state this tiny.

Tonight we're going to one of our favorite fancy restaurants for Restaurant Week. Last year their chocolate dessert blew my mind and they have the same one on the menu this year. I can't wait!

Property Queen

Last time I took the Bar I was a Criminal Law expert. This time, it appears Property is my subject. I did one of the hard sets yesterday wherein I was only supposed to get 45% right to be doing well, and I got 65% right. Including all 3 questions based on a kind of insane fact pattern. I was particularly proud of those.

The only problem is, I did so well, that I was kind of a slacker for the rest of the evening. Today is Contracts. I have a feeling I'll be more humble by this evening.

My Eyes Are On Fire!

This morning I took the train up to the Boston office to get my picture taken for the firm's website. I got my hair and make-up done and when I got home I promptly scrubbed all the make-up off. Gah! So. Much. Color. On. My. Face. Though I'm sure it will look lovely in the pictures.

The make-up artist was great, but she was a bit heavy-handed with the mascara and eyeliner. I used about 10 eye make-up remover pads so now my eyes are red and a little burny.

I took my Property flashcards with me and studied on the train. I kind of feel like I've got Property except for that whole Future Interests/Rule Against Perpetuities hullabaloo that I will never ever ever need as a real-life attorney. I reassert that the Bar is just a big hazing ritual.

I Heart the Internets

I have been tucked away in my apartment studying Evidence all day, with a mid-day trip to the grocery store to pick up some necessary items. And then I got home and realized I forgot something. I hate that.

Anyway, I've been memorizing flashcards and doing sets of multiple choice problems. I did really bad on my last set. Really bad. So I was sitting here, feeling like I was going to cry, and then I decided to do a Google search for "Barbri" "impossible questions" "screwing with my head" or something like that and came across this message board of people who are also studying and griping about Barbri.

Someone mentioned that in the back of the HUGE question book is a single page telling you how many of each set you're supposed to be getting right. Apparently on that most recent one, I was only supposed to get 45% right. I checked the Evidence sets I did today and the other subject sets and I'm pretty much right on target. That's a relief.

Something else to keep in mind is how impossible the Barbri model essay answers are. They quote cases and obscure law and total a couple of pages per essay. Hi, I will have 3 hours to write 6 essays. That will not be high-quality writing, I can guarantee. I will be spewing out whatever I can think of that might possibly relate to the fact pattern and moving on to the next question.

In other news, the landlady picked yesterday to begin the large project of stripping the exterior of the house and reshingling. Which needs to be done, but what a way to kick off the two weeks before the Bar. The pounding is so hard that pieces of caulk are falling out of the kitchen tiles onto the countertops. It's kind of disconcerting to go into the kitchen and have two guys standing outside the window pounding away at the house. Eventually they and their ladders wil. come around to where I'm sitting in the living room and I'll have to change rooms since we don't have blinds.

I'm pretty good at tuning out the pounding, but at a couple of points today it got a little intense. Time to head to either the beach or the library I think.

Nose to the Grindstone

Jason thinks Multistate questions are fun. He likes having me read him the questions and answers and he chooses which ones he thinks are right. He gets about 50% right, which is a little annoying considering I'm the one who spent 3 years in law school and then 3 more years (mostly) as an attorney. However, I have the chance to feel superior when the question hinges on some arcane bit of law that I know because it's written on one of my flashcards.

Anyway, tonight I finished writing a mini outline for Equity and then I sighed a deep sigh of relief and said, "I'm done!" Jason asked, "You're done?" I said, "Well, I was going to do a set of Multistate questions tonight, but it took me a long time to do all the mini outlines so I think I'm done." Jason said, "Oooo, yeah, let's do Multistate questions!"

Then I figured out that I've been at this for about 11 hours today (if you include my 3-hour class) and I made the executive decision that I was done for the day. I think that's reasonable.

At least I started my day with a good swim. I need it to work off the stress and help me sleep at night.

Studying

Tiny has very definite ideas about when studying should and shouldn't be happening. Usually when I've been hitting the books for 2 or 3 hours, he will let me know that it's time to take a break.

Like so:

Yesterday he plopped down on my book, but I still needed to do some work, despite what kitty thought. So I moved him down to my lap and he sat there purring for the next hour or so. Jason was at work so I took this picture to show him how Tiny was helping me out.
Tiny's a giver.

PS Please pay no attention to the mess in the background. In two and a half weeks this will all be over and I'll have time to clean the house again.

PPS Saying this will all be over in two and a half weeks kind of makes me hyperventilate a little.

Score!

Today is my last day of work until after the Bar exam. I've been organizing my desk, making piles of files for our secretary to refile*, removing my shoes from my shoe box under my desk where they live so I don't have to lug my dress shoes back and forth every day since I like to be comfy on my way to and from work.

Well, I opened up one drawer of my desk and discovered a bag of Extra Dark Lindt chocolate truffles that I had completely forgotten about. I bought the bag a few months ago and have been gradually eating one here and there when I wanted a treat. There was one left. I just ate it. It was awesome.

I wish every day could be a discovering Lindt truffles kind of day.

* I know this is all part of being an attorney, but it's kind of weird to have a secretary. I have to keep reminding myself to let her format the letters and type in the edits and such. My boss gave me back a letter I wrote one day with some mark-ups and I diligently entered them in and asked if I should go ahead and print it on letterhead. He said, "I just gave that to you to show you what changes I made. You should have had P make the changes and print it out." Oh. It's become this game with myself of figuring out what I need to spend my billable hours working on and what I need to give to her.

Um, So the Stressing Out Is Starting

The Bar is 3 weeks from today. Holy cow, where did the time go?! I spent so much time after I got this job thinking I didn't have to worry about the Bar yet that it has been kind of hard to convince myself that no, really, this is the time to worry.

I did a bunch of practice questions on Saturday and did well enough on all subjects to pass. However, this morning I missed a bunch in Criminal Law, which last time I took the Bar was my GOOD subject. So I spent some quality time with my flashcards. It's just a matter of cramming all of this information into my head. It was in there 3 years ago, surely it can go back, right?

My last day of part-time work is Friday. I decided to take off 2 whole weeks to study, and I'm really glad I did. I'm not going to class for the first few days of this week because it's a review of the practice test we took last week. They gave us a book with explanations in it, so I decided to save myself the hour and a half drive and just go over them on my own. However, in the morning I go for a swim and settle in to study and hit a nice groove and then all of a sudden it's time to get ready for work. It will be nice to have the whole day to study.

FYI, having a really super smart husband who basically remembers everything he ever reads is not helpful at this point. He doesn't understand why I don't already know everything on the flashcards. I mean, I made them, after all, shouldn't I know what they say? I got really ticked last week actually when I felt like he was critiquing my study methods. I had to explain that unlike him, I don't remember everything I read the first time I read it. Or write it. Or hear it. Or whatever. Flashcards worked the first time, so I'm sticking with what I know.

Rock

Jason bought Rock Band on Saturday night. Then Jason, Marissa and I stayed up until 3 on our world tour.

Suffice it to say, we rocked the house.

Matt

This video makes me happy