Remember that weird firm that offered me an interview and then recanted when I asked a question about the position? Well, the job is back up on the job board, but this time it actually has some specifics. I'm wondering if I wasn't the only one to ask questions.
First off, they tell you what kind of law they practice. There's a good start. Then they tell you what the position actually is and what you'll be doing should you get it. Brilliant!
But the best part of all is the salary. $24,000.
Excuse you?
$24,000 for a starting associate who most likely has somewhere between $50,000 to $100,000 in law school debt and has to be able to afford to live in the Boston metropolitan area because that's where the firm is located.
Of course maybe that's not including the kickbacks you get from the low-level crime syndicate you're representing in addition to your regular clients, like Nemesis suggested.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I got a phone message yesterday from the non-profit I interviewed with. I thought, ooo, phone call. That's got to be good, right? No. They said thanks a lot, but they've asked a couple of other people back to continue the interview process.
I have mixed feelings.
1) It would have ROCKED MY WORLD to have a real job and not feel like a loser who's almost 30 and who's in lots of debt and who wasted 3 years of her life.
2) It was in my field doing something that sounded fascinating with lots of cool networking opportunities.
3) However, as I discussed previously, since they are a non-profit, there was always the little niggling issue in the back of my mind as to whether they could pay me enough so that I could make my Boston rent and my student loan payment all in the same month.
4) It was in a teeny tiny office and they basically told me I'd be having a lot of alone time as often some of my 4 co-workers would telecommute. While I do like my alone time, at heart I'm generally pretty social and day after day of no social interaction makes me a little loopy. It also makes me start over-analyzing things that have no need to be over-analyzed, really, it's just me making lots of great big mountains out of molehills.
So thanks to all of you for your good wishes. For whatever reason, this wasn't my job. I'm just hoping it shows up someday. Like in July. July would be good.
I have mixed feelings.
1) It would have ROCKED MY WORLD to have a real job and not feel like a loser who's almost 30 and who's in lots of debt and who wasted 3 years of her life.
2) It was in my field doing something that sounded fascinating with lots of cool networking opportunities.
3) However, as I discussed previously, since they are a non-profit, there was always the little niggling issue in the back of my mind as to whether they could pay me enough so that I could make my Boston rent and my student loan payment all in the same month.
4) It was in a teeny tiny office and they basically told me I'd be having a lot of alone time as often some of my 4 co-workers would telecommute. While I do like my alone time, at heart I'm generally pretty social and day after day of no social interaction makes me a little loopy. It also makes me start over-analyzing things that have no need to be over-analyzed, really, it's just me making lots of great big mountains out of molehills.
So thanks to all of you for your good wishes. For whatever reason, this wasn't my job. I'm just hoping it shows up someday. Like in July. July would be good.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Feminism
Well, that broad post title should get me some hits.
This morning I was reading this Mormons for Equality and Social Justice (MESJ) meeting recap over at Times and Seasons. I wish I could have gone to this meeting. Boston MESJ was just gearing up when I moved away. I'm still on the listserv and always wish longingly that I could go to the meetings. I suppose in a few months I'll be able to. The generally progressive mentality among Mormons is one thing I really appreciated about Boston. Although at times the pretensions of all the highly-educated folk could be a bit much, intellectual discourse was always stimulating.
I was always the liberal rebel in high school and college in Tucson. I was the one person in my seminary class who would have voted for Clinton if I had been old enough to vote. I was the one person in my ward who chose furthering my education by attending a "smart kids high school" while other people in my ward who got accepted chose to attend the neighborhood high school and further their social lives. I'm sure I was seen as a rebel in the ward when I made this choice, especially as a girl. And lest you think I flew under the radar, rest assured that I was always known as "the smart one" because of the high school I attended. I don't think I was any smarter than a lot of my peers, I just made different choices because of the things I wanted - namely a college education and a future of more. More than what I saw available to me through the women in my ward. All of my close friends were not members of the church because I found I had more in common ideologically with non-members.
In college when the non-members around me were partying hard, I found myself drawn more to surrounding myself with friends from church because of the no-partying rules. While I loved these friends dearly, I always knew that politics was sort of a taboo subject. Or rather, I knew what their opinions were and kept my mouth shut lest I rock the boat too much.
Imagine my joy when I arrived in Boston and discovered that you could be Mormon AND liberal, Mormon AND open-minded. Here I thought I was a freak of nature, when really I was just in the wrong location.
As I've struggled with my faith, I've found that perceived gender inequality in the church is a really convenient fallback for me when I express why I am dissatisfied. I admire the women whose blogs I read and whose conversations I enjoy who are able to be so strong in their ideals of equality, and yet profess a love and joy in the Gospel that I feel has eluded me lately.
Reading on T&S this morning, this quote really spoke to me:
First of all, this is true - in the Gospel, we are all equal. A non-LDS co-worker commented to me yesterday that she had heard Mormons believe that women can't achieve Heaven without being married. She presented this to me as a sign of the inequality in the church. I just said, "Yes, but men can't make it without being married either." She hadn't heard that it goes both ways.
The above exchange emphasizes a serious issue in the church, as discussed at T&S: the marginalization of single people. I say single people because while I think that we women have unique struggles with being single, discussing the topic with men has convinced me that single men have it rough as well. However, just to quote from T&S: "To the extent that we do not value or appreciate single sisters, we do not value any of the women of the church. Single women force us to confront them as individuals and not as soft-focus Hallmark gender-roles (wife, mother), and WE FAIL THE TEST."
Second, the dichotomy between spiritual and institutional truths articulates my personal issues and questions with the church as an institutional entity. I believe that the Gospel teaches many beautiful and wonderful things. I know that learning about the Gospel has made me feel the warm and fuzzy feelings we're all told is the Spirit. I know that God hears my prayers. I believe in Jesus Christ. But I find myself wondering what is truth and what is the interpretation of man? What is right and what is just institutional tradition? I don't have answers. But I find that as I choose to accept that some things are institutional, I become more willing to focus on what I believe are the spiritual truths, and I find myself more open to the Spirit in general.
It seems like many of my peers are going through similar analyses, whether they're openly verbal about it or not. The more people I talk to, the more I discover I'm not alone in this quest to figure out what the Gospel really means to me and in my life. Maybe it's symptomatic of being single in this church that focuses so intently on the family unit and trying to figure out where you really belong. It's part of creating a place within the Gospel for yourself and trying to come to terms with the fact that life doesn't seem to be turning out exactly like you thought it would, and exactly like you were told it would if you chose the right, when you were a Beehive or a Deacon.
Or maybe this is a point that any rationally-thinking person comes to when trying to figure out how the tenets of a religion fit in with his/her perception of what is right and good. I would like to talk more with people who have made this journey. Or maybe now that I've started, it's a journey I will continue for the rest of my life.
This morning I was reading this Mormons for Equality and Social Justice (MESJ) meeting recap over at Times and Seasons. I wish I could have gone to this meeting. Boston MESJ was just gearing up when I moved away. I'm still on the listserv and always wish longingly that I could go to the meetings. I suppose in a few months I'll be able to. The generally progressive mentality among Mormons is one thing I really appreciated about Boston. Although at times the pretensions of all the highly-educated folk could be a bit much, intellectual discourse was always stimulating.
I was always the liberal rebel in high school and college in Tucson. I was the one person in my seminary class who would have voted for Clinton if I had been old enough to vote. I was the one person in my ward who chose furthering my education by attending a "smart kids high school" while other people in my ward who got accepted chose to attend the neighborhood high school and further their social lives. I'm sure I was seen as a rebel in the ward when I made this choice, especially as a girl. And lest you think I flew under the radar, rest assured that I was always known as "the smart one" because of the high school I attended. I don't think I was any smarter than a lot of my peers, I just made different choices because of the things I wanted - namely a college education and a future of more. More than what I saw available to me through the women in my ward. All of my close friends were not members of the church because I found I had more in common ideologically with non-members.
In college when the non-members around me were partying hard, I found myself drawn more to surrounding myself with friends from church because of the no-partying rules. While I loved these friends dearly, I always knew that politics was sort of a taboo subject. Or rather, I knew what their opinions were and kept my mouth shut lest I rock the boat too much.
Imagine my joy when I arrived in Boston and discovered that you could be Mormon AND liberal, Mormon AND open-minded. Here I thought I was a freak of nature, when really I was just in the wrong location.
As I've struggled with my faith, I've found that perceived gender inequality in the church is a really convenient fallback for me when I express why I am dissatisfied. I admire the women whose blogs I read and whose conversations I enjoy who are able to be so strong in their ideals of equality, and yet profess a love and joy in the Gospel that I feel has eluded me lately.
Reading on T&S this morning, this quote really spoke to me:
[One of the ways a feminist Mormon is created is by] believing the gospel, following advice from church leaders: As long as we continue to teach that “… there is neither bond nor free, neither male nor female…, for ye are all one in Christ Jesus,” and “the glory of God is intelligence”, as long as we encourage girls as well as boys to “get all the education you can,” as long as we allow the anarchic influence of personal revelation, there will be Mormon feminism. Whether the institutional church will embrace its uppity daughters and find ways to celebrate their gifts, or marginalize and disown them, remains to be seen.
First of all, this is true - in the Gospel, we are all equal. A non-LDS co-worker commented to me yesterday that she had heard Mormons believe that women can't achieve Heaven without being married. She presented this to me as a sign of the inequality in the church. I just said, "Yes, but men can't make it without being married either." She hadn't heard that it goes both ways.
The above exchange emphasizes a serious issue in the church, as discussed at T&S: the marginalization of single people. I say single people because while I think that we women have unique struggles with being single, discussing the topic with men has convinced me that single men have it rough as well. However, just to quote from T&S: "To the extent that we do not value or appreciate single sisters, we do not value any of the women of the church. Single women force us to confront them as individuals and not as soft-focus Hallmark gender-roles (wife, mother), and WE FAIL THE TEST."
Second, the dichotomy between spiritual and institutional truths articulates my personal issues and questions with the church as an institutional entity. I believe that the Gospel teaches many beautiful and wonderful things. I know that learning about the Gospel has made me feel the warm and fuzzy feelings we're all told is the Spirit. I know that God hears my prayers. I believe in Jesus Christ. But I find myself wondering what is truth and what is the interpretation of man? What is right and what is just institutional tradition? I don't have answers. But I find that as I choose to accept that some things are institutional, I become more willing to focus on what I believe are the spiritual truths, and I find myself more open to the Spirit in general.
It seems like many of my peers are going through similar analyses, whether they're openly verbal about it or not. The more people I talk to, the more I discover I'm not alone in this quest to figure out what the Gospel really means to me and in my life. Maybe it's symptomatic of being single in this church that focuses so intently on the family unit and trying to figure out where you really belong. It's part of creating a place within the Gospel for yourself and trying to come to terms with the fact that life doesn't seem to be turning out exactly like you thought it would, and exactly like you were told it would if you chose the right, when you were a Beehive or a Deacon.
Or maybe this is a point that any rationally-thinking person comes to when trying to figure out how the tenets of a religion fit in with his/her perception of what is right and good. I would like to talk more with people who have made this journey. Or maybe now that I've started, it's a journey I will continue for the rest of my life.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Moving Time
So I'm moving Monday. Jason is flying in tomorrow night and is going to help me. Yay for nice boys!
I am so exhausted I can't even tell you. I've already worked 50 hours this week, and I have another 10 hour day tomorrow. Every night this week (well, except Monday) I've come home and packed and I still feel like it's a mess around here and there's still so much to do. I wish I could just pack all day tomorrow and finish up, but I have to work. I have a feeling that the bulk of the stuff like furniture and my TV and the heavy boxes are going to get moved on Monday, but I'm going to be finishing up for the next night or two while Sarah starts moving her stuff in. I definitely have to clean when the stuff gets moved out. Then there's all the little things that seem to hide when I'm packing the big boxes but then suddenly appear when all the furniture is gone. I am looking forward to getting back my fake diamond stud earring that fell behind my dresser several months ago.
Anyway, I'm tired and I'm working and I'm moving. The good news is, I ordered cable and internet today for my new place. If I'm going to keep looking for a job I need to have internet, right? And if I'm going to keep my sanity I need to have cable, right? Right.
I am so exhausted I can't even tell you. I've already worked 50 hours this week, and I have another 10 hour day tomorrow. Every night this week (well, except Monday) I've come home and packed and I still feel like it's a mess around here and there's still so much to do. I wish I could just pack all day tomorrow and finish up, but I have to work. I have a feeling that the bulk of the stuff like furniture and my TV and the heavy boxes are going to get moved on Monday, but I'm going to be finishing up for the next night or two while Sarah starts moving her stuff in. I definitely have to clean when the stuff gets moved out. Then there's all the little things that seem to hide when I'm packing the big boxes but then suddenly appear when all the furniture is gone. I am looking forward to getting back my fake diamond stud earring that fell behind my dresser several months ago.
Anyway, I'm tired and I'm working and I'm moving. The good news is, I ordered cable and internet today for my new place. If I'm going to keep looking for a job I need to have internet, right? And if I'm going to keep my sanity I need to have cable, right? Right.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Observed Lately
Contract attorneys are a discontented bunch. I mean, I understand. This is boring work and we're here for very long hours. The two things that really bother me about this project are:
1) The basement room - no windows makes for a very mole-like existence.
2) No transportation costs on Saturday. At my last job we got transportation and lunch paid for on the weekends. At some magical, elusive, legendary jobs, people gets transportation and/or meals every single day. I don't need that, I'd just like to know that if I have to wind up parking in a parking garage come Saturday because taking the Metro on a weekend is just silly and unpredictable, I will get reimbursed.
However, I'm very happy to have a job, to have 60 hours a week to work, and to be getting paid an awful lot of money for what is essentially pretty simple (if mind-numbingly boring) work.
That is not the case for the majority of the people I work with. Most of them gripe and moan about every little inconvenience in our working conditions. Granted, our perspectives are different. For one, they've all been doing this for awhile and probably have memories of being on some sweet, sweet project in the past and wish this one were more like that.
Two, I'm only doing this for a few months (fingers crossed! Doc review doesn't pay nearly as well in Boston so I'm hoping for a permanent job by the time I get back there, or at least very soon after). Most of these people have been doing this for awhile and see no end in sight really because the money's good. Most of them aren't even looking for permanent jobs. Personally, the stress of contract work would drive me crazy. The actual job isn't stressful, it's the knowledge that it could end whenever really. If a case settles or there aren't as many documents as the client originally thought, the contract attorneys are SOL.
Most of the people I work with are constantly talking about what's in the hopper with other agencies. It's surprising to me how readily the contract attorneys would ditch this job to take another, possibly better job, and just tell the agency there is an emergency or a death in the family or a client needs them (most of the people I'm working with have clients too). Although the agencies would cut us or string us along to suit their needs without a second thought, so I suppose it's all fair play.
I'm happy to be here for a couple of months, work, collect my paycheck every week, and pay off some debt. I'm very happy that my investment in the DC Bar has paid off. However, I hope I'm not in this contract attorney world forever.
1) The basement room - no windows makes for a very mole-like existence.
2) No transportation costs on Saturday. At my last job we got transportation and lunch paid for on the weekends. At some magical, elusive, legendary jobs, people gets transportation and/or meals every single day. I don't need that, I'd just like to know that if I have to wind up parking in a parking garage come Saturday because taking the Metro on a weekend is just silly and unpredictable, I will get reimbursed.
However, I'm very happy to have a job, to have 60 hours a week to work, and to be getting paid an awful lot of money for what is essentially pretty simple (if mind-numbingly boring) work.
That is not the case for the majority of the people I work with. Most of them gripe and moan about every little inconvenience in our working conditions. Granted, our perspectives are different. For one, they've all been doing this for awhile and probably have memories of being on some sweet, sweet project in the past and wish this one were more like that.
Two, I'm only doing this for a few months (fingers crossed! Doc review doesn't pay nearly as well in Boston so I'm hoping for a permanent job by the time I get back there, or at least very soon after). Most of these people have been doing this for awhile and see no end in sight really because the money's good. Most of them aren't even looking for permanent jobs. Personally, the stress of contract work would drive me crazy. The actual job isn't stressful, it's the knowledge that it could end whenever really. If a case settles or there aren't as many documents as the client originally thought, the contract attorneys are SOL.
Most of the people I work with are constantly talking about what's in the hopper with other agencies. It's surprising to me how readily the contract attorneys would ditch this job to take another, possibly better job, and just tell the agency there is an emergency or a death in the family or a client needs them (most of the people I'm working with have clients too). Although the agencies would cut us or string us along to suit their needs without a second thought, so I suppose it's all fair play.
I'm happy to be here for a couple of months, work, collect my paycheck every week, and pay off some debt. I'm very happy that my investment in the DC Bar has paid off. However, I hope I'm not in this contract attorney world forever.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Lacking in the Internet
I'm on a new assignment now, and it's much more strict than my last one. And much more organized, which I'm appreciating immensely. They monitor our time very closely and we can't check email on the doc review computers, only the two computers in the middle of the other room that are very easy to spy on if you happen to be walking by. We have to sign in and out for lunch and break. Yeah, it's all closely-watched.
Jason was here this weekend and we had great times. Saturday we met up at the Zoo with a couple of Jason's friends who were in town for the weekend. My new favorite animal is the marmoset, and I repeatedly asked Jason to buy me one a la Veruca Salt. Alas, no marmoset. But they're so cute. I have pictures. Which I will post when I have time. Um, which will probably be two weeks from now after I move.
I have to say, although I liked Jason's friends a lot, my favorite person of the weekend was their 8 year-old cousin, Mei, who they brought to DC with them. I cannot even express to you how much of a riot this little girl was. Her comments kept us rolling. Seriously, I think I almost fell down a couple of times.
I think the best comment of hers was when she looked at my car as we were walking into Chili's and informed me that I had a "sweeeeet car," with all the enthusiasm of someone on Pimp My Ride.
Let me inform all of you who don't know, I have a white Ford Focus sedan. Her name is Bunny and I love her, but I have never considered her ghettofabulous in any form. But to Mei she was all that.
If I could be guaranteed to have children as cool as Mei I would have one immediately.
Jason was here this weekend and we had great times. Saturday we met up at the Zoo with a couple of Jason's friends who were in town for the weekend. My new favorite animal is the marmoset, and I repeatedly asked Jason to buy me one a la Veruca Salt. Alas, no marmoset. But they're so cute. I have pictures. Which I will post when I have time. Um, which will probably be two weeks from now after I move.
I have to say, although I liked Jason's friends a lot, my favorite person of the weekend was their 8 year-old cousin, Mei, who they brought to DC with them. I cannot even express to you how much of a riot this little girl was. Her comments kept us rolling. Seriously, I think I almost fell down a couple of times.
I think the best comment of hers was when she looked at my car as we were walking into Chili's and informed me that I had a "sweeeeet car," with all the enthusiasm of someone on Pimp My Ride.
Let me inform all of you who don't know, I have a white Ford Focus sedan. Her name is Bunny and I love her, but I have never considered her ghettofabulous in any form. But to Mei she was all that.
If I could be guaranteed to have children as cool as Mei I would have one immediately.
Friday, March 17, 2006
On the iPod
"Just Like Jesse James"
Cher
Struttin' into town like he's slingin' a gun
Just a small town dude with a big city attitude
Honey, are you lookin' for some trouble tonight?
Well, alright!
Alright, indeed.
Come on, baby, show me what that loaded gun is for?
I think 80's Cher is right up there with Journey on the "classic" level.
If you can give it
I can take it
Cause if this heart is gonna break, it's gonna take a lot to break it.
The best part is, I completely forgot I even had this song. It's like a little present tied up in a bow from my iPod.
Cher
Struttin' into town like he's slingin' a gun
Just a small town dude with a big city attitude
Honey, are you lookin' for some trouble tonight?
Well, alright!
Alright, indeed.
Come on, baby, show me what that loaded gun is for?
I think 80's Cher is right up there with Journey on the "classic" level.
If you can give it
I can take it
Cause if this heart is gonna break, it's gonna take a lot to break it.
The best part is, I completely forgot I even had this song. It's like a little present tied up in a bow from my iPod.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
So would it be too cheesey to say, "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" to Jason when I pick him up at the airport tonight? I mean, it is true. Even my name is awash with shades of Ireland. So much so that one of the partners at the little firm I was at insisted on speaking to me only with an Irish accent and saying things like "Faith and begorrah!" a lot.
And I figure while I have someone to kiss I should take advantage of these holiday traditions, right?
Speaking of green (like the segue?), it's getting to be Spring around here and I love it. There are daffodils and crocuses and pansies blooming all over the District and the housing development where I live in northern Virginia. Plus, yesterday morning I walked out of my apartment in the early morning sunshine and realized the grass is GREEN again! It's been brown for so long, I forgot that it gets so very, very green. The green is one thing that takes my breath away about northern Virginia (and maybe the green in southern Virginia would too, but I have no experience with southern Virginia except for driving through on the way to Tennessee in November, and it's not green anywhere in November). When I first moved here last summer and was driving around, getting acquainted with the area, I kept feeling completely blown away by the towering trees and the brilliant emerald of the grass. I know I've lived in other places where green played a large factor in the surrounding landscape, but it just seems more vivid here for some reason.
I will miss the green, although a New England Autumn will just about make up for it.
And I figure while I have someone to kiss I should take advantage of these holiday traditions, right?
Speaking of green (like the segue?), it's getting to be Spring around here and I love it. There are daffodils and crocuses and pansies blooming all over the District and the housing development where I live in northern Virginia. Plus, yesterday morning I walked out of my apartment in the early morning sunshine and realized the grass is GREEN again! It's been brown for so long, I forgot that it gets so very, very green. The green is one thing that takes my breath away about northern Virginia (and maybe the green in southern Virginia would too, but I have no experience with southern Virginia except for driving through on the way to Tennessee in November, and it's not green anywhere in November). When I first moved here last summer and was driving around, getting acquainted with the area, I kept feeling completely blown away by the towering trees and the brilliant emerald of the grass. I know I've lived in other places where green played a large factor in the surrounding landscape, but it just seems more vivid here for some reason.
I will miss the green, although a New England Autumn will just about make up for it.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
And The Answer Is No
Well, this is weird. I emailed them asking for a little more detail about the position. Their ad basically had the name of the firm and said they were hiring an associate. Upon googling the firm, NO webpage came up, but I did manage to look at it once the associate emailed me and I got the extension off of his email address.
After looking at the website some more, I had pretty much decided I would go in for the interview just for practice, but I didn't see it going anywhere. It's a VERY small firm, only 2 attorneys. Not really any work I'm interested in, a lot of litigation.
The email he sent was super informal, signed with his first name, and just saying got your resume, want to interview? So I wrote back and just said thank you for getting in touch with me. Since the ad wasn't very detailed, could he tell me a little about the firm and the position? Perfectly nice.
He emailed me back a half hour later to just say what the practice area was (not anything I have any experience or demonstrated interest in) and we could discuss it further if I came in for an interview. THEN 10 minutes after that, the partner emailed me and said all the time slots are full, thanks anyway.
Um, ok. I guess we don't like questions? Does that strike anyone else as a tad abrupt?
And Jason just said to me, "You are worth more than that." Thanks!
I'm not at the point of desperation yet, so I can still be indignant instead of despondent. :)
After looking at the website some more, I had pretty much decided I would go in for the interview just for practice, but I didn't see it going anywhere. It's a VERY small firm, only 2 attorneys. Not really any work I'm interested in, a lot of litigation.
The email he sent was super informal, signed with his first name, and just saying got your resume, want to interview? So I wrote back and just said thank you for getting in touch with me. Since the ad wasn't very detailed, could he tell me a little about the firm and the position? Perfectly nice.
He emailed me back a half hour later to just say what the practice area was (not anything I have any experience or demonstrated interest in) and we could discuss it further if I came in for an interview. THEN 10 minutes after that, the partner emailed me and said all the time slots are full, thanks anyway.
Um, ok. I guess we don't like questions? Does that strike anyone else as a tad abrupt?
And Jason just said to me, "You are worth more than that." Thanks!
I'm not at the point of desperation yet, so I can still be indignant instead of despondent. :)
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Writing
Hmmm....So I'm working on my writing sample for the job, right? I've been thinking about it for a few days, wondering how exactly to approach it, and I'm kind of doing what I was afraid of. See, I have to write 2 policy issue letters on the same topic to two different entities. Basically, the second letter is winding up sounding a lot like the first, with a few adjustments for the additional facts. Do you think they expect that? I wish I could ask, but that's probably frowned upon. I'm sure they want a basic idea of what I can do when given an issue to approach. Anyway, I'm done for the night. I'll mull it over at work tomorrow and finish writing tomorrow night.
I really like writing academically. I forget that sometimes. But I turn on Miles Davis and Charlie Parker and just start typing away.
I really like writing academically. I forget that sometimes. But I turn on Miles Davis and Charlie Parker and just start typing away.
Sexy Gams
Apparently my square-toed, imminently practical, comfortable enough to walk around the city, Payless special dress shoes combined with my suit skirt create an irresistible combination. Not only have multiple homeless men informed me how nice my legs look while wearing said outfit, but today a few reputable-looking businessmen gave my legs a second glance. Frankly I consider my legs kind of large, but whatever. I guess I'm showing them off to their full advantage today. Of course, said businessmen were also in their 50's, and I have always gotten complimentary looks from the older men. At least I have some sort of appreciative audience.
More advice:
I sent a resume to a firm without really knowing what they did. Their ad just said they were looking for an associate and had no further information. I couldn't find their website when I applied. I just got an email from an attorney there asking if I'm available for an interview next Wednesday. Based on the guy's email address I found their website. It looks like they do mostly immigration with some personal injury/workers comp stuff. Nothing I'm really interested in. I'm tempted to just tell them I'm not looking anymore, but would that be dumb? I just don't know about flying up to Boston, missing another day of work, and at least one night when I should be packing, for an interview with a firm that I would have to convince I'd actually want to work for. I can't really say "Oh, yeah, well your ad was so vague I just thought 'Why not apply?'"
Update
I may not have to choose between pay and the interview. We're booking through the documents so quickly that we may only be working a couple of days next week. I'm ok with that since we've had 3 weeks of work, and I was just submitted for another project today. So I may be able to use my Jet Blue credit and go to Boston for a day or two.
More advice:
I sent a resume to a firm without really knowing what they did. Their ad just said they were looking for an associate and had no further information. I couldn't find their website when I applied. I just got an email from an attorney there asking if I'm available for an interview next Wednesday. Based on the guy's email address I found their website. It looks like they do mostly immigration with some personal injury/workers comp stuff. Nothing I'm really interested in. I'm tempted to just tell them I'm not looking anymore, but would that be dumb? I just don't know about flying up to Boston, missing another day of work, and at least one night when I should be packing, for an interview with a firm that I would have to convince I'd actually want to work for. I can't really say "Oh, yeah, well your ad was so vague I just thought 'Why not apply?'"
Update
I may not have to choose between pay and the interview. We're booking through the documents so quickly that we may only be working a couple of days next week. I'm ok with that since we've had 3 weeks of work, and I was just submitted for another project today. So I may be able to use my Jet Blue credit and go to Boston for a day or two.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Which Apartment Should Kelly Choose?
I was going over things tonight in my head, wondering how I would choose in the next couple of days, and it occurred to me that I have all of you to ask for advice. Here are my choices:
Apartment 1
Pros:
1) 10 minute walk to the train and then a half hour ride into DC (probably more like 45 minutes given all the stops and starts on the Blue Line lately)
2) Nice new apartment with a pool and a workout center.
3) Internet and cable.
Cons:
1) On the 4th floor. I can handle that day to day, but moving a bunch of stuff up 3 flights of stairs to the 4th floor to live there for just a few months and then move it all back out again doesn't sound like fun. Especially since I don't know if I'm going to have anyone around to help me move in a couple of weeks.
2) $40 more per month in rent than I'm paying now.
3) Living with 3 other girls, who on first glance seem a little Molly-esque and definitely younger than me. I'd be sharing a bathroom with one of them.
Apartment 1's lease ends at the end of August. If I move before then, I'd definitely have to find someone to take my place, which might be hard given the price of the place and the desire for the Mormon summer interns to find places for around $300.
Apartment 2
Pros:
1) My own very large bedroom AND my own bathroom. I have my own bathroom now and it's lovely.
2) Only one other roommate in a very big space.
3) $15 less per month than I pay now.
4) Seemingly cool, laid back roommate.
5) Washer and dryer in the apartment.
6) Pool in the apartment complex.
Cons:
1) Kind of far out. A 10 minute drive (maybe longer during rush hour) to the train and then a 30-40 minute ride in on the train. (on the other hand, closer to Dulles when Jason comes to visit).
2) No internet or cable (unless I want to pay to have them installed for the 3 months I'm there. While I have internet at my current job, I've been told that most doc review jobs don't have internet so if I was on one of those jobs I'd have no internet at all.)
Apartment 2's lease is up at the end of June. The girl in the apartment now has been living there by herself, but doesn't want to pay the whole rent by herself anymore. Regardless, her situation is kind of up in the air too so she understands that I may be leaving sooner. If I don't leave sooner, but move to Boston at the end of June, I will have hopefully worked and saved money doing 3 months of document review (assuming the myriad of projects supposedly starting at the end of March/beginning of April actually begin when they're supposed to).
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Obviously both places have pros and cons, and I'm sort of dithering, although I suppose I'm leaning toward #2. I just don't relish how far out it is and the no internet thing. However, if I'm working doc review, I probably won't be there much anyway and maybe with the money I'm making I could get the internet hooked up for when I am home.
Apartment 1
Pros:
1) 10 minute walk to the train and then a half hour ride into DC (probably more like 45 minutes given all the stops and starts on the Blue Line lately)
2) Nice new apartment with a pool and a workout center.
3) Internet and cable.
Cons:
1) On the 4th floor. I can handle that day to day, but moving a bunch of stuff up 3 flights of stairs to the 4th floor to live there for just a few months and then move it all back out again doesn't sound like fun. Especially since I don't know if I'm going to have anyone around to help me move in a couple of weeks.
2) $40 more per month in rent than I'm paying now.
3) Living with 3 other girls, who on first glance seem a little Molly-esque and definitely younger than me. I'd be sharing a bathroom with one of them.
Apartment 1's lease ends at the end of August. If I move before then, I'd definitely have to find someone to take my place, which might be hard given the price of the place and the desire for the Mormon summer interns to find places for around $300.
Apartment 2
Pros:
1) My own very large bedroom AND my own bathroom. I have my own bathroom now and it's lovely.
2) Only one other roommate in a very big space.
3) $15 less per month than I pay now.
4) Seemingly cool, laid back roommate.
5) Washer and dryer in the apartment.
6) Pool in the apartment complex.
Cons:
1) Kind of far out. A 10 minute drive (maybe longer during rush hour) to the train and then a 30-40 minute ride in on the train. (on the other hand, closer to Dulles when Jason comes to visit).
2) No internet or cable (unless I want to pay to have them installed for the 3 months I'm there. While I have internet at my current job, I've been told that most doc review jobs don't have internet so if I was on one of those jobs I'd have no internet at all.)
Apartment 2's lease is up at the end of June. The girl in the apartment now has been living there by herself, but doesn't want to pay the whole rent by herself anymore. Regardless, her situation is kind of up in the air too so she understands that I may be leaving sooner. If I don't leave sooner, but move to Boston at the end of June, I will have hopefully worked and saved money doing 3 months of document review (assuming the myriad of projects supposedly starting at the end of March/beginning of April actually begin when they're supposed to).
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Obviously both places have pros and cons, and I'm sort of dithering, although I suppose I'm leaning toward #2. I just don't relish how far out it is and the no internet thing. However, if I'm working doc review, I probably won't be there much anyway and maybe with the money I'm making I could get the internet hooked up for when I am home.
A Day of Rest
I always knew that I got lazy and useless on Sunday and I loved indulging in Sunday afternoon naps and lazing about in general, but yesterday I got the full vision of why we should take 1 day out of 7 off. There is just something programmed in my body that rejects the whole idea of working on Sundays. I worked 10 hours yesterday and by about 2 PM I felt like I was going to fall asleep. My mind was wandering and I was getting really annoyed at the documents in general.
Finally I had to get out. I moseyed down to the lobby at about 4 and called Jason just to chat for a few minutes. Then I moseyed across the street to CVS and wandered the aisles for a few minutes trying to figure out if I should get a soda, snackies, nail polish... I bought some Twizzlers (bad Kelly!) and the combination of chewing and sugar managed to keep me awake until I had to leave at 7.
It's just Sunday, though. Today I'm back at work and I feel okay. Just another workday. Maybe the normal groove of being on the Metro in the morning surrounded by other commuters has me in the right frame of mind. Or maybe I'll crash at about 4 and need to get out again.
Finally I had to get out. I moseyed down to the lobby at about 4 and called Jason just to chat for a few minutes. Then I moseyed across the street to CVS and wandered the aisles for a few minutes trying to figure out if I should get a soda, snackies, nail polish... I bought some Twizzlers (bad Kelly!) and the combination of chewing and sugar managed to keep me awake until I had to leave at 7.
It's just Sunday, though. Today I'm back at work and I feel okay. Just another workday. Maybe the normal groove of being on the Metro in the morning surrounded by other commuters has me in the right frame of mind. Or maybe I'll crash at about 4 and need to get out again.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
On the iPod
I cannot express to you how happy I Believe in A Thing Called Love by The Darkness makes me.
Friday, March 10, 2006
A Real Interview
This trip to Boston was not in vain like my last trip. I actually had a real interview, with an actual health care trade association for an actual job that they actually need to fill. I know! I was excited too.
The job sounds so interesting. Lots of moving and shaking and policy and legislation. Right up my alley. The government relations lady who I would be working most closely with sat down and said right away, "I loved your resume!" Neat-o! So all that work I did and the internship and getting the Health Law Society going counts in some people's minds.
I feel like I would really like to do this job. Apparently, the feeling was mutual. As I was leaving, they said they would be sending out a writing exercise to a few candidates over the next couple of weeks. I got the email with the writign exercise in it 3 hours after the interview.
Assuming they like my writing, and then assuming I meet with the President and she likes me too, this still all hinges on whether they can pay me enough to live. I was thinking about it and I don't need that much to scrape by. But I do have a level I have to be at, and I have no clue what they're offering.
Exciting! You know what else is encouraging? Despite all my moaning over the last several months, I've only really been looking for a job for a little more than 2 months now. The moaning prior to that was about some half-hearted resume submissions in DC and Boston as I dealt with my angst related to wondering where exactly I should be trying to find a job. One promising interview in what has been described to me as a "soft market" for a position actually in my area of interest is pretty darn good, in my opinion.
The job sounds so interesting. Lots of moving and shaking and policy and legislation. Right up my alley. The government relations lady who I would be working most closely with sat down and said right away, "I loved your resume!" Neat-o! So all that work I did and the internship and getting the Health Law Society going counts in some people's minds.
I feel like I would really like to do this job. Apparently, the feeling was mutual. As I was leaving, they said they would be sending out a writing exercise to a few candidates over the next couple of weeks. I got the email with the writign exercise in it 3 hours after the interview.
Assuming they like my writing, and then assuming I meet with the President and she likes me too, this still all hinges on whether they can pay me enough to live. I was thinking about it and I don't need that much to scrape by. But I do have a level I have to be at, and I have no clue what they're offering.
Exciting! You know what else is encouraging? Despite all my moaning over the last several months, I've only really been looking for a job for a little more than 2 months now. The moaning prior to that was about some half-hearted resume submissions in DC and Boston as I dealt with my angst related to wondering where exactly I should be trying to find a job. One promising interview in what has been described to me as a "soft market" for a position actually in my area of interest is pretty darn good, in my opinion.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Anyone Know of Any Good Relaxation Techniques or Maybe Just Where the "Off" Switch for My Brain Is?
I swear, this is getting ridiculous. Last night I was on the phone with Jason until 1. We were only supposed to talk for a few minutes, but that didn't happen. It never seems to. So I'm asleep by like 1:05 AM. Then my eyes flew open at 5:30 AM. No good reason, just so that my brain could entertain itself by saying "oh crap oh crap oh crap" over and over again apparently. I managed to get back to sleep at 7:15 (even though that was about 15 minutes after I should have probably gotten up) and slept until 7:50. Then I set a new personal landspeed record by still leaving the house at 8:13 so I could catch my bus on time. I took a shower and everything. Well now that I know I can do that, it's going to be very tempting to set the alarm later.
This afternoon I'm in a better zen place. First of all, I checked with the firm and it seems like we will be working some this weekend. So I'm flying to Boston tomorrow night and flying back early Friday morning. They seem ok with me taking Thursday off for the interview. And while it's not as fun as having a whole weekend with Jason, at least I'll get to see him a teensy bit in between his work responsibilities. I'm definitely on the team for the additional duties, and they're thinking that will probably go at least a bit into next week, if not the whole week.
Second, there is a major project coming up that everyone is all abuzz about. Two people I work with at the firm went to the agency I interviewed at yesterday and the reps were thrusting extra business cards at them, saying, "Tell your friends!" They're talking about needing contract attorneys in the hundreds. It's supposed to start at the end of the month, and I hope it does for real. None of this lollygagging and delays that are so infuriating and make the bank account balance too small.
And now I feel like I have some different options depending on whether various things happen or don't happen. My interview on Thursday could go great and I could get offered a job. A REAL JOB! They're a non-profit organization, though, so there's a chance they might not pay me enough. Seriously, I forgot how expensive Boston is. The DC area is expensive, but I've been checking out apartment listings in Boston and even with 2 or 3 roommates, it's still significantly more per month than what I'm paying here. Now I know I have a good deal, but I've seen other places that are comparably priced. It's just pricey up there. So that is a factor, as much as I hate that it is. However, they might pay enough and then I have a job and I move back right away. Yippee!
OR I might not get the job and if this upcoming project starts on time, I can work through April and probably make enough to move to Boston and to hold me over until I get temp work or a real job there.
OR if this upcoming project starts on time, I can stay for the entire 2-3 months and make enough to save some, live my life, AND pay most, if not all, of my credit cards off. In my mind that's a Double Yippee! Of course that also entails definitely moving from the apartment I'm in now and being somewhere temporarily. I'm going to talk with a couple of girls tonight who have apartment spaces to see how they feel about my uncertain status.
Of course the sad part about possibly staying here for the next few months is that I won't get to go to Boston probably at all because we'll be working 70-80 hours a week. However, Jason and I emailed about it today and he seems cool with coming down here more and hanging out with other people he knows while I'm at work. {gushy moment} He's very sweet in that he wants me to do whatever is best for me.
So suddenly I feel like maybe I have some options after all, and maybe, just maybe, the world isn't going to end. I know, I was shocked too.
This afternoon I'm in a better zen place. First of all, I checked with the firm and it seems like we will be working some this weekend. So I'm flying to Boston tomorrow night and flying back early Friday morning. They seem ok with me taking Thursday off for the interview. And while it's not as fun as having a whole weekend with Jason, at least I'll get to see him a teensy bit in between his work responsibilities. I'm definitely on the team for the additional duties, and they're thinking that will probably go at least a bit into next week, if not the whole week.
Second, there is a major project coming up that everyone is all abuzz about. Two people I work with at the firm went to the agency I interviewed at yesterday and the reps were thrusting extra business cards at them, saying, "Tell your friends!" They're talking about needing contract attorneys in the hundreds. It's supposed to start at the end of the month, and I hope it does for real. None of this lollygagging and delays that are so infuriating and make the bank account balance too small.
And now I feel like I have some different options depending on whether various things happen or don't happen. My interview on Thursday could go great and I could get offered a job. A REAL JOB! They're a non-profit organization, though, so there's a chance they might not pay me enough. Seriously, I forgot how expensive Boston is. The DC area is expensive, but I've been checking out apartment listings in Boston and even with 2 or 3 roommates, it's still significantly more per month than what I'm paying here. Now I know I have a good deal, but I've seen other places that are comparably priced. It's just pricey up there. So that is a factor, as much as I hate that it is. However, they might pay enough and then I have a job and I move back right away. Yippee!
OR I might not get the job and if this upcoming project starts on time, I can work through April and probably make enough to move to Boston and to hold me over until I get temp work or a real job there.
OR if this upcoming project starts on time, I can stay for the entire 2-3 months and make enough to save some, live my life, AND pay most, if not all, of my credit cards off. In my mind that's a Double Yippee! Of course that also entails definitely moving from the apartment I'm in now and being somewhere temporarily. I'm going to talk with a couple of girls tonight who have apartment spaces to see how they feel about my uncertain status.
Of course the sad part about possibly staying here for the next few months is that I won't get to go to Boston probably at all because we'll be working 70-80 hours a week. However, Jason and I emailed about it today and he seems cool with coming down here more and hanging out with other people he knows while I'm at work. {gushy moment} He's very sweet in that he wants me to do whatever is best for me.
So suddenly I feel like maybe I have some options after all, and maybe, just maybe, the world isn't going to end. I know, I was shocked too.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Decisions, Decisions
I'm moving back to Boston. Maybe it seemed to you like I had already made that decision, but not really. I didn't really have it confirmed in my head that, yes, this is actually happening. After being up until 5 AM on Saturday night/Sunday morning, I woke up at 2 PM on Sunday somehow feeling better. I spent those long hours before going to sleep doing job research. I applied for a health policy analyst position at an insurance company, I emailed out two resumes, and prepped a cover letter and another resume to mail. Only one of the jobs was really something I was excited about, but the others were ones I figured I can do and be fine.
Yesterday I went and looked at an apartment. It's cheap, but not very practical as it's very far out and not really close to a Metro line. It would probably take me more than an hour to get into DC - assuming I actually have work and stuff.
After going there, I drove home, thinking more and more how I just don't want to move. Or, rather, what I really want is to just move back to Boston and be done with it. I don't know if moving back to Boston at the beginning of May or sooner is really a possibility. If I could get contract work for the next month and a half, I could definitely do it. But right now that's looking like a big if.
Today was an emotional rollercoaster day. First off, this job I'm on keeps being vague and noncommittal. We went in today, but they sent us home early so we have no overtime. We're going in tomorrow, but we may not even be there until 5:30 like we were today. Wednesday, who knows. The last batch of documents were supposed to be loaded in by this morning, and now they're saying they'll be done on Thursday.
The good news of this morning was that they're going to be doing an additional project for a few days after the documents are all reviewed, for which they'll keep a few of us. Me and three of the people who sit around me have been recommended for that. I call us the worker bees because we churn out over 500 documents a day, while down at the other end of the room is the other group that seems to talk a lot. The disparity between our groups was pointed out to me on Saturday: there are 20 attorneys on this project. On Saturday I finished up batch 15 from Friday, did batch 29, and then at the end of the day was given batch 39.
20 attorneys.
Those numbers aren't adding up and the documents are all really comparable so I know the other attorneys could be going quickly too. The woman who sits next to me was right there with me with batches 14, 30, and 40. Fortunately, our work has been noticed and we're up for the additional days. However, right now I don't know when that's going to start for sure, and I definitely don't know how long it will last or if it's really going to happen next week. I don't even know if the firm knows that since the vendor keeps messing things up and the firm keeps getting extensions for everything.
It's just really infuriating because in the meantime I don't know what my end date is and no other agency will send you out for a job until you're definitely free from your former one.
Well, then I met with another staffing agency over my lunch hour and they told me they're staffing for 3 projects right now, which will start at the end of the month. Great, except what do I do for the next two weeks about money? Especially if the current firm continues being flakey.
The highlight of the day was a call I got regarding a health policy job that I submitted my resume for in Boston. I got an interview. It's scheduled for Thursday, but I'm thinking that I may try to move it to Friday. The company is a non-profit, which probably means crappy pay and continuing the putting off of the student loans. But it would probably be great experience and hopefully something I could parlay into a better job eventually.
For about an hour and a half I was blissful today thinking everything was working out all of a sudden. I got a call to start a long document review project on Monday. Big pay, long hours. It would mean I could definitely move back to Boston at the beginning of May. It also meant I could schedule my interview for Thursday and then stay the weekend in Boston before the long hours started. An hour and a half after I got the call, they called back. Whoops. The client just told them they want people with a science background only (to which I thought, aren't all the attorneys with science backgrounds raking it in as IP lawyers and not really doing the contract thing?) So for about an hour and a half, everything fit together perfectly.
Now I'm going to try to move my interview to Friday in the hopes that I can miss just that day, spend the weekend in Boston, and still get to be on the additional assignment team come Monday. You know, if it actually starts on Monday.
I seem to be having a lot of these major realizations lately, but today's highs and lows and the scrambling to fit in a trip to Boston just further shows me that being in Boston is the only way this is going to work, both with my relationship with Jason, and with finding a job. I need to be there.
Oh, another good thing from today: I got a call from someone at staffing agency in Boston who saw my resume on Monster and wanted to talk to me about contract attorney work. I'm going to try to schedule an interview with them after my real job interview. Say like I don't get the policy job. If I can make some money to tide me over and then go up there, then maybe I can get some temp stuff to continue tiding me over.
Yesterday I was feeling good and today I'm just trying to convince myself that the good feeling was real. I made the decision to move back to Boston, and to move back as soon as I could, and I felt good. I don't really know how to explain it, but I felt more open and like a good feeling was washing over me. I felt like reading my scriptures, amazingly enough. I haven't felt like that for months as I've questioned my decisions and my faith over and over. I pulled out my Bible and read through some Psalms, then pulled out Jan Karon's Patches of Godlight to read some nice spiritual quotes. This is the first time I've really had a consistent, day-long feeling of lightness and good energy since I moved here. Today it lessened some, but I just have to hold onto it, if I can.
So now here is what I really want to do: I want to move back to Boston at the beginning of May. I don't know if I'll be able to. If I don't get any work in the next couple of weeks, I won't be able to. But today is only Monday, right? Maybe tomorrow another agency will have something else come in for next week. It could happen. Right?
Today is the epitome of a conversation in the movie version of Anne of Green Gables about getting caught up in the glorious flight of anticipation, then crashing back to the earth with a thud. That's how I feel right now. Thudded. I'm so exhausted at the strain of trying to juggle everything that came at me today. Because for a short time this afternoon everything fit together, and then it all came apart. I hope tomorrow things start fitting together again, but this time for keeps.
Yesterday I went and looked at an apartment. It's cheap, but not very practical as it's very far out and not really close to a Metro line. It would probably take me more than an hour to get into DC - assuming I actually have work and stuff.
After going there, I drove home, thinking more and more how I just don't want to move. Or, rather, what I really want is to just move back to Boston and be done with it. I don't know if moving back to Boston at the beginning of May or sooner is really a possibility. If I could get contract work for the next month and a half, I could definitely do it. But right now that's looking like a big if.
Today was an emotional rollercoaster day. First off, this job I'm on keeps being vague and noncommittal. We went in today, but they sent us home early so we have no overtime. We're going in tomorrow, but we may not even be there until 5:30 like we were today. Wednesday, who knows. The last batch of documents were supposed to be loaded in by this morning, and now they're saying they'll be done on Thursday.
The good news of this morning was that they're going to be doing an additional project for a few days after the documents are all reviewed, for which they'll keep a few of us. Me and three of the people who sit around me have been recommended for that. I call us the worker bees because we churn out over 500 documents a day, while down at the other end of the room is the other group that seems to talk a lot. The disparity between our groups was pointed out to me on Saturday: there are 20 attorneys on this project. On Saturday I finished up batch 15 from Friday, did batch 29, and then at the end of the day was given batch 39.
20 attorneys.
Those numbers aren't adding up and the documents are all really comparable so I know the other attorneys could be going quickly too. The woman who sits next to me was right there with me with batches 14, 30, and 40. Fortunately, our work has been noticed and we're up for the additional days. However, right now I don't know when that's going to start for sure, and I definitely don't know how long it will last or if it's really going to happen next week. I don't even know if the firm knows that since the vendor keeps messing things up and the firm keeps getting extensions for everything.
It's just really infuriating because in the meantime I don't know what my end date is and no other agency will send you out for a job until you're definitely free from your former one.
Well, then I met with another staffing agency over my lunch hour and they told me they're staffing for 3 projects right now, which will start at the end of the month. Great, except what do I do for the next two weeks about money? Especially if the current firm continues being flakey.
The highlight of the day was a call I got regarding a health policy job that I submitted my resume for in Boston. I got an interview. It's scheduled for Thursday, but I'm thinking that I may try to move it to Friday. The company is a non-profit, which probably means crappy pay and continuing the putting off of the student loans. But it would probably be great experience and hopefully something I could parlay into a better job eventually.
For about an hour and a half I was blissful today thinking everything was working out all of a sudden. I got a call to start a long document review project on Monday. Big pay, long hours. It would mean I could definitely move back to Boston at the beginning of May. It also meant I could schedule my interview for Thursday and then stay the weekend in Boston before the long hours started. An hour and a half after I got the call, they called back. Whoops. The client just told them they want people with a science background only (to which I thought, aren't all the attorneys with science backgrounds raking it in as IP lawyers and not really doing the contract thing?) So for about an hour and a half, everything fit together perfectly.
Now I'm going to try to move my interview to Friday in the hopes that I can miss just that day, spend the weekend in Boston, and still get to be on the additional assignment team come Monday. You know, if it actually starts on Monday.
I seem to be having a lot of these major realizations lately, but today's highs and lows and the scrambling to fit in a trip to Boston just further shows me that being in Boston is the only way this is going to work, both with my relationship with Jason, and with finding a job. I need to be there.
Oh, another good thing from today: I got a call from someone at staffing agency in Boston who saw my resume on Monster and wanted to talk to me about contract attorney work. I'm going to try to schedule an interview with them after my real job interview. Say like I don't get the policy job. If I can make some money to tide me over and then go up there, then maybe I can get some temp stuff to continue tiding me over.
Yesterday I was feeling good and today I'm just trying to convince myself that the good feeling was real. I made the decision to move back to Boston, and to move back as soon as I could, and I felt good. I don't really know how to explain it, but I felt more open and like a good feeling was washing over me. I felt like reading my scriptures, amazingly enough. I haven't felt like that for months as I've questioned my decisions and my faith over and over. I pulled out my Bible and read through some Psalms, then pulled out Jan Karon's Patches of Godlight to read some nice spiritual quotes. This is the first time I've really had a consistent, day-long feeling of lightness and good energy since I moved here. Today it lessened some, but I just have to hold onto it, if I can.
So now here is what I really want to do: I want to move back to Boston at the beginning of May. I don't know if I'll be able to. If I don't get any work in the next couple of weeks, I won't be able to. But today is only Monday, right? Maybe tomorrow another agency will have something else come in for next week. It could happen. Right?
Today is the epitome of a conversation in the movie version of Anne of Green Gables about getting caught up in the glorious flight of anticipation, then crashing back to the earth with a thud. That's how I feel right now. Thudded. I'm so exhausted at the strain of trying to juggle everything that came at me today. Because for a short time this afternoon everything fit together, and then it all came apart. I hope tomorrow things start fitting together again, but this time for keeps.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
More of the Same
I don't know if you all have noticed, but my profile says basically one thing. "I'm done with law school. Now to find a job." Every so often I glance over to the left and see those words there like a glowing, blinking neon sign.
It has now been about 10 months since I graduated from law school. 2 months to study for the Bar, 1 month to take a post-Bar trip and move to DC, 7 months of nothing special. Oh, right, except for that cute boy. But he's not job-related, really, and that's what I'm talking about.
Anyway, last Fall was kind of a wash. I did some networking, sent out some resumes, signed up with 8 staffing agencies, and got sent out to do some data entry and a little filing. Then came January with the whole DC Bar-pending thing, which I thought meant contract attorney jobs would be showered forth upon me. Not so much. After being postponed a week, it turns out this job I'm on right now is really seriously not going to last anything like the 2 weeks and 70 hours per week (30 of which were overtime hours) that it was supposed to. When all is said and done, I will probably have made as much as I would have working 3 steady weeks at the little firm I was at. Plus, I would have had less stress (at least from wondering where my next paycheck was coming from) and would be in Boston this weekend.
I've emailed every single one of my agencies (I think I'm up to 10 now, and I have an appointment with the 11th on Monday) and they've all said "Thanks for letting us know your status. Buh-bye now." Or something like that.
After all of that, I have questions in my mind about what my next moves should be in the coming 2 months or so. I have decided to move back to Boston. I have this vague idea in my head about sometime at the end on the summer. However, if I get a job before then, I'll move then. Which brings this whole moving from this particular apartment I'm living in right now into question. Because say like I move and then a month later I get a job and then I have to find someone to sublet this place I've just moved into and what if I can't? But I want the extra time here because I'm hoping to work contract jobs and save up money so I can move and support myself for a bit in Boston if need be. Although those contract jobs aren't really appearing as of yet.
On the other hand, what are the odds that I will really be able to find a job in Boston while I'm trying to work long hours here (fingers crossed) and am not actually physically there?
I feel like my thoughts are all over the place. What I'm getting at is, I'm moving to Boston - eventually. I miss Jason a lot and how fab would it be to move there May 1 instead of September 1? But I have no job in Boston. I already moved to one town without a job, how stupid would I be to move back to Boston without a job?
I wonder if any of my Boston friends would mind a couch crasher until I get on my feet.
What I really wonder is, will I ever get on my feet?
I feel very stuck. If I could work a contract job steadily for the next month and a half, with overtime, I could seriously consider moving back to Boston at the end of April. Of course, I don't know if ANY work will present itself, let alone steady work. Steady work with overtime. Plus, would it be insane to move back to Boston just like that? Probably.
I felt so right about moving to DC and lately I don't know anything at all except for I'm not happy here and I'm not happy not knowing when the next time I will see Jason is. Right now we have plans for the next couple of weekends, but with the nature of these jobs, I may have to cancel one, if not both. If I was in Boston and was able to get temp work there, we could see each other after work and there would be no flying here and there.
I've worked 60 hours this week and I'm tired, so I should probably go to bed and hope these thoughts don't wake me up at 5:30 like they usually do. I hope writing them out has helped me. I really do want your thoughts though, dear internet. Those of you who know me in real life, and those of you who don't. I want someone to hand me a script and show me the stage direction for what happens next. Because I really don't know.
It has now been about 10 months since I graduated from law school. 2 months to study for the Bar, 1 month to take a post-Bar trip and move to DC, 7 months of nothing special. Oh, right, except for that cute boy. But he's not job-related, really, and that's what I'm talking about.
Anyway, last Fall was kind of a wash. I did some networking, sent out some resumes, signed up with 8 staffing agencies, and got sent out to do some data entry and a little filing. Then came January with the whole DC Bar-pending thing, which I thought meant contract attorney jobs would be showered forth upon me. Not so much. After being postponed a week, it turns out this job I'm on right now is really seriously not going to last anything like the 2 weeks and 70 hours per week (30 of which were overtime hours) that it was supposed to. When all is said and done, I will probably have made as much as I would have working 3 steady weeks at the little firm I was at. Plus, I would have had less stress (at least from wondering where my next paycheck was coming from) and would be in Boston this weekend.
I've emailed every single one of my agencies (I think I'm up to 10 now, and I have an appointment with the 11th on Monday) and they've all said "Thanks for letting us know your status. Buh-bye now." Or something like that.
After all of that, I have questions in my mind about what my next moves should be in the coming 2 months or so. I have decided to move back to Boston. I have this vague idea in my head about sometime at the end on the summer. However, if I get a job before then, I'll move then. Which brings this whole moving from this particular apartment I'm living in right now into question. Because say like I move and then a month later I get a job and then I have to find someone to sublet this place I've just moved into and what if I can't? But I want the extra time here because I'm hoping to work contract jobs and save up money so I can move and support myself for a bit in Boston if need be. Although those contract jobs aren't really appearing as of yet.
On the other hand, what are the odds that I will really be able to find a job in Boston while I'm trying to work long hours here (fingers crossed) and am not actually physically there?
I feel like my thoughts are all over the place. What I'm getting at is, I'm moving to Boston - eventually. I miss Jason a lot and how fab would it be to move there May 1 instead of September 1? But I have no job in Boston. I already moved to one town without a job, how stupid would I be to move back to Boston without a job?
I wonder if any of my Boston friends would mind a couch crasher until I get on my feet.
What I really wonder is, will I ever get on my feet?
I feel very stuck. If I could work a contract job steadily for the next month and a half, with overtime, I could seriously consider moving back to Boston at the end of April. Of course, I don't know if ANY work will present itself, let alone steady work. Steady work with overtime. Plus, would it be insane to move back to Boston just like that? Probably.
I felt so right about moving to DC and lately I don't know anything at all except for I'm not happy here and I'm not happy not knowing when the next time I will see Jason is. Right now we have plans for the next couple of weekends, but with the nature of these jobs, I may have to cancel one, if not both. If I was in Boston and was able to get temp work there, we could see each other after work and there would be no flying here and there.
I've worked 60 hours this week and I'm tired, so I should probably go to bed and hope these thoughts don't wake me up at 5:30 like they usually do. I hope writing them out has helped me. I really do want your thoughts though, dear internet. Those of you who know me in real life, and those of you who don't. I want someone to hand me a script and show me the stage direction for what happens next. Because I really don't know.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Fashion Update
I don't care who you are or how good your butt is or how sexy your little walk is, the following shall never, ever, ever be paired with any sort of boot: floods, capris, gauchos. I have seen way too much of that nonsense this winter, thank you very much.
And to the girl wearing the capris and the spiky heels, it's COLD outside today. I am in my winter coat and my cheeks are rosy from the wind. Put some clothes on and accept that it's only the beginning of March.
That is all.
And to the girl wearing the capris and the spiky heels, it's COLD outside today. I am in my winter coat and my cheeks are rosy from the wind. Put some clothes on and accept that it's only the beginning of March.
That is all.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
The Battle Continues
I've started another blog. It's about the whole losing weight thing. Just for kicks.
Shake What Ya Mama Gave You
Shake What Ya Mama Gave You
5:24 AM
The above is the time I woke up this morning, my head churning away about moving. I've basically agreed to do my best to move out by April 1. I saw a place on the the LDS listserv that looked promising and I knew my roommates had a friend whose lease was up April 1. She does want to take my spot, which actually works out well because she doesn't have a lot of stuff and that means I don't have to move all of my big bulky furniture right away - possibly not even until I move back to Boston (shooting for August).
However, I talked to the available apartment girl last night and it turns out it's a loft bedroom. Which means it hangs out over the living room and is missing one or more walls. Ummm.....??? She assured me she's never had a problem with it so I'm actually going to look at it tonight, but I'm already prejudiced against it because of the whole no walls thing. Basically I'm thinking of people watching movies until the wee small hours in the living room below and the fact that there will be no privacy for phone calls - or anything else really, despite the curtains hanging up as a barrier.
I did see another apartment on the listserv yesterday that sounds great, and from what I can tell, this bedroom will have walls. I emailed the girl and hopefully she'll email me back.
On the job front, the client has more documents and it looks like we'll be working until next Thursday or Friday. Phew! The woman who sits next to me (and since that's getting to be a long name to type every time, and since she's chatty and we sit next to each other for 9.5 hours every day so she will probably figure here occasionally, I'm going to call her SJ) was taking me along on her panic ride yesterday as she emailed all of the staffing agencies only to find out that no one has anything starting next week. Hopefully something will start up the following week.
Obviously I'm not going to Boston this weekend, but I'm thinking maybe the following weekend will work out. I'll just have to wait and see. It's only been a week since I've seen Jason, but I miss him a lot.
However, I talked to the available apartment girl last night and it turns out it's a loft bedroom. Which means it hangs out over the living room and is missing one or more walls. Ummm.....??? She assured me she's never had a problem with it so I'm actually going to look at it tonight, but I'm already prejudiced against it because of the whole no walls thing. Basically I'm thinking of people watching movies until the wee small hours in the living room below and the fact that there will be no privacy for phone calls - or anything else really, despite the curtains hanging up as a barrier.
I did see another apartment on the listserv yesterday that sounds great, and from what I can tell, this bedroom will have walls. I emailed the girl and hopefully she'll email me back.
On the job front, the client has more documents and it looks like we'll be working until next Thursday or Friday. Phew! The woman who sits next to me (and since that's getting to be a long name to type every time, and since she's chatty and we sit next to each other for 9.5 hours every day so she will probably figure here occasionally, I'm going to call her SJ) was taking me along on her panic ride yesterday as she emailed all of the staffing agencies only to find out that no one has anything starting next week. Hopefully something will start up the following week.
Obviously I'm not going to Boston this weekend, but I'm thinking maybe the following weekend will work out. I'll just have to wait and see. It's only been a week since I've seen Jason, but I miss him a lot.
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