A New Year

It’s a new year, time for a new blog look. I’ve been feeling bored with the old one.

Resolutions? Anyone?

Resolution Number 1: I am seriously back on the diet and exercise wagon. I’m gaining weight, I’m feeling like crubbish. Starting tomorrow I’m on my no sugar plan again. I managed to not eat sugar except for one splurge day a month for 6 months in 2005. Everything kind of fell apart after the Bar Exam as I justified eating anything yummy in the name of celebration. Ironically I was in the best shape I’ve been in since college or so when I took the Bar Exam. I was swimming almost every day and eating very well. That's probably key to why even though I was stressed, I actually felt good about myself and managed to pass the Bar.

I bought some Haagen Daaz chocolate chocolate chip today to celebrate my last day of sugar. Tomorrow: no sugar, no white flour. AND I’m going to give no caffeine a shot too. Dum dum dum! We’ll see how that whole no caffeine thing goes. I may cave on that one.

Starting Monday, I’m working out again. That’s right! Pulling my lazy butt out of bed first thing in the morning.

Resolution Number 2: I need to figure out once and for all where I am going to be. I’ve been playing this back and forth game between Boston and DC for the past four months and all it’s done is make me feel flighty and alone.

I haven’t assimilated into my DC ward in any sense. It’s hard enough to find your place in a singles ward. Since I’ve been gone one weekend a month and generally sleeping in past my 9 AM Sacrament Meeting and going to a later ward on a second Sunday, I’m sure the ward is very concerned about my activity level. Well, if they’ve even realized I’m there at all.

Here’s the saddest part of all of this. It’s New Year’s Eve and I am home alone redoing my blog template. OK, actually the geek in me thinks redoing the blog template is fun, but the point is, I’m home alone. Jason and I couldn’t be together because it was too pricey. He asked me today why I wasn’t going out with anyone tonight and I pointed out to him that I have no friends here. Well, that’s not totally true. I do have some people I’m friendly with here, but not really anyone to hang out with on a regular basis. I took a step outside of my introverted self yesterday though and asked a work friend what she was doing and if I could tag along. Unfortunately, she herself is crashing a gathering tonight and didn’t think it would be cool to bring a total stranger, which I agree with. (But on the upside, we might be getting together to do something later this week).

Anyway, as I feel myself spiraling further into this isolated depression, I know that trying to meet some people around here is key. And I need to get a job. That would help the depression a lot too. Soooo, Boston or DC? We shall see. I'll keep you posted.


OK, so these resolutions are sort of a bunch of little resolutions within resolutions. Basically right after I took the Bar I was on top of the world. I wasn't sure if I had passed, but I had completed the process and felt proud of that. I looked good and was feeling sassy. I was looking forward to moving to DC and the exciting adventures in lawyering that awaited me. Unfortunately the DC thing hasn't worked out as well as I'd hoped. But I'm getting back into my job search and something will come up. At the very least I'll finally get sworn into the Mass Bar, file my DC Bar application, and be able to make more than I am right now (that is, if the Mass Bar ever gets around to sending me the info I need to get sworn in. Last time I called they said it would be going out next week). Anyway, what I really want is to be back in the good place I was in a few months ago. That is my ultimate goal.

Those Crazy Mormons

I am back at work, mercifully migraine-free. Hallelujah!

I always think of this story when the Mormons Are So Weird stories turn to tales of polygamy.

During our study of late-19th century American Government my senior year of high school, we came across that Supreme Court case outlawing polygamy. Despite growing up in a 5-stake city, I was usually the only Mormon my friends associated with on a regular basis. Unlike everyone else in my ward who went to the neighborhood high school, I went to a high school in the middle of the city where the Mormon population was decidedly lower. I think there were probably 40 of us out of the 2000 or so students.

So when the teacher stopped his lecture on the polygamy case and looked contemplative for a moment, I knew I was in trouble. He began with, "Now I just don't understand this whole polygamy thing." {pause} "Is anyone here Mormon?"

My lone little hand slowly went up as my friends who knew my religion turned to look at me.

The teacher then proceeded to ask me in front of the entire class, "So what was up with that polygamy thing?"

Um.... Red-faced, I mumbled something about traditional families, more women than men, survival on the trek West, blah blah blah.

I still don't have a good answer for that one, but I must say that Mr. McAndrew could have taught a course on how not to win over a 17 year-old. (Between that and his diatribes on the Vietnam War with multiple pronouncements about all of his buddies who came home in body bags, the man had issues).

The good thing about me being outed as a Mormon in Government class is that I became known as "a cool Mormon" for the first time. I may also be cool because when we had a free day and everyone was drawing and playing Hangman, I wrote the counting part from "Kiss Off" by the Violent Femmes on the board.*


*Did I mention I went to a nerd high school? Yeah, that's key.

Back in DC

Yes, it's true. I'm back in DC, all alone in my little apartment. I am supposed to be at work, but I sent myself home sick. I had a headache yesterday and I thought it had gone away, but by the time I got to work this morning it was a full-fledged migraine. After an hour and a half of attempting to get work done, I admitted to myself that five minutes of work followed by ten minutes of cradling my forehead in my hand with my eyes closed was probably not the best recipe for productivity.

I did all of my remedies: ice pack, Coke Slurpee (something about the frozen caffeine usually nips the migraine in the bud), Excedrin, Ibuprofen in case it's being cause by tension in my shoulders. I had a veritable over-the-counter drug cocktail going on. Nothing was working, but now finally it seems to be gradually seeping away. I hope it goes away completely. One of the cruddy parts of this whole temping thing is that I get no sick days, so I got a whole hour and a half of pay today. That's not going to pay rent, now is it? At least it's a slow time at the firm because of the holidays so I don't feel like I'm completely leaving them in the lurch.

How cool is this? My dad's sisters gave him a coonskin cap for Christmas. Apparently when he was 8 or so he had the entire Davy Crockett ensemble, complete with buckskin shirt and pants. I would love a picture of that, but for now the picture of his mumble mumble-year-old self in the coonskin cap will suffice.

And here he is opening another present with glee:
He does glee pretty well, don't you think?

My mom showing off our Christmas PJs (she and I always have matching Christmas Eve PJs/nightgowns so we can watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Christmas movies in comfort and style . This year they were white thermals with blue flowers. Very cozy.)

My lovely olive wood holy family. A present from Jason.

And do you all know what this is from?

Department 56 had an A Christmas Story village this year, which my parents snatched up. The family's home even has the leg lamp in the front window. Fabulous!

The Haul

Do you remember coming back from Christmas break when everyone would ask everyone else, "So what did you get?" OK, well let's be honest, that still happens, doesn't it? I got:

• A pretty carved olive wood holy family (this isn't exactly the one I got, but it's similar)
• The Truth (with jokes) by Al Franken
• An Ansel Adams picture book and calendar
• Netflix gift subscription
• 2 purple cashmere cardigans (apparently there was a bit of a mix-up. My dad thought he had already bought the teal one so he got me another purple one. That's what gift receipts are for!)
• A pretty pink v-neck with sequins
• Cracker Barrel Christmas ornament. Seriously, it's a Christmas ornament shaped like the Cracker Barrel. It makes me giggle.
• The Princess Bride DVD
• Mushrooms (this is a tradition. I love mushrooms and used to steal some every time my dad opened a jar when he was cooking. One year my parents gave me a jar as a stocking stuffer. I've gotten some pretty much every year ever since.)
• A street sign that says "Swimmers Lane" that made my dad think of me and basically means I need to get my butt in gear and get back to the pool.

Anyone else? What did you get?

Tomorrow I am hitting the after-Christmas sales bright and early. I love shopping for Christmas decorations after Christmas because they're usually 75% off or something crazy like that. Target has a line of crimson and silver decorations this year that I'm hoping haven't been completely picked over. That's why I've got to wake up early. Well, the decorations and my favorite yarn that's on sale at Jo-Ann. And pretty much the entire inventory of Kohl's.

Merry Christmas!

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

What Is It About Spanish Class?

I have a recurring nightmare that pops back into my life periodically for no discernible reason. In the dream, it's coming up on finals time and I have a Spanish final coming up in a day or two. The only problem is, I went to the first day of class, and then kind of got caught up in the rest of my classes and life and all of that so I never made it back to class. In fact, the textbook is sitting in my locker with a perfectly unbroken spine. I usually spend most of the dream either crying or freaking out to a friend with a big ball of panic in my throat.

I had the dream last night and was so relieved to wake up and discover that not only do I not have a Spanish final tomorrow that I am woefully unprepared for, but in fact I am no longer in school and don't have any finals to prepare for ever again. So that's kind of nice. But it doesn't really make up for the sheer panic I felt while I was asleep. My subconscious needs to relax.

Harvey Says, "Merry Christmas!"

Sorry he's so blurry. It's really hard to get a good picture of him because apparently my hands shake so the flashless pictures are blurry, but he's really reflective, so I can't use the flash.

Isn't his Christmas schwag pretty?

Jason made me a bunch of Christmas CD's that I'm loving. There is one of Irish Christmas music and then several of Christmas choral music, including Nine Lessons and Carols from Kings College Chapel. The music is beautiful and there's something, I don't know, fancy about scripture read in a British accent.

Sacred choral music is Jason's little red wagon and he's trying to teach me about it, although my apathy is making me a slow learner. I think it's great that he loves it and I will go to concerts and support him and listen to it with him, but I don't feel the need to know all of the composers and be able to recognize in just a couple of notes who wrote the song because it's so typical of Vaughan Williams or whoever. Jason is expanding my horizons, though, and isn't that part of what this whole couple thing is about after all. I wonder how I expand his horizons. Teaching him the finer points of the Pixies? Instructing him on why make-up isn't really evil after all? (And my mom thought I'd never land a man because I didn't wear enough make-up. I bet she didn't figure on my finding a great guy who recoils in horror whenever I threaten to kiss him with a lipsticked mouth).

This past weekend we went to Maryland to see a big Winter Lights display on Saturday. My one complaint is that it was a 3 1/2 mile drive through sparse decorations. I would have much preferred a walking tour through a denser display of lights. But the characters were very cute and I think we got some cute pictures. Then we saw King Kong, which rocked. I'm still a little freaked out when I think about the giant bugs, though. And I actually like bugs. I can't imagine how the squeamish people took that scene.

Sunday we saw the Master Chorale of Washington perform their Christmas candlelight concert. The music was beautiful and the conductor was funny and charismatic. I kind of wonder how much of a chummy type of guy he really is, though. Every time he told a joke that made the audience laugh uproariously, I glanced at the choir to see their reactions. I saw a slight smile or two, but no big smiles on their faces and definitely no laughing along. So either the jokes are old and they've heard them all before OR he's a hellish taskmaster and the choir hates him OR the choir was just in the zone and I am a Philistine for expecting them to unfocus enough to notice a little joke or two.

As promised, the Swiss Chalet advent calendar:

Obscure Griping

I'm pretty sure only me and some health care professionals and health care attorneys care about this, but I'm really annoyed with CMS (The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services). They redesigned their website, which is great because their old website was a big stinkin' piece of crubbish, but now ALL the links from ALL the websites in the entire world that used to link to some CMS resource are wrong and send you to an error page.

This is not helpful when I'm trying to do research and just trying to find out which state Medicaid plans offer Hospice benefits (there used to be a page at CMS that would tell me that according to Google and a bunch of hospice websites). Could they have maybe kept the same links or told me where the new pages are or SOMETHING?

Sigh. OK, I'm done now.

Does Need = Love?

I'm ruminating and I wonder what other people think. I've been thinking about the whole concept of needing someone. A friend sent me an email forward about a man and a woman where she asks him a series of questions and he says no to every single one, then responds with something even better. For instance, one of the questions is something like "Do you want me?" and he says, "No," then tells her, "I don't want you, I need you." (He also says No, she isn't pretty, she's beautiful. Along those lines.)

It got me thinking about the whole concept of needing someone. When I was with my ex, I needed him. But that wasn't necessarily a good thing. I needed him to be there for me and to build me up because I was incapable of doing it for myself. I needed him to tell me I was pretty and smart because I didn't believe that I was. I needed him to be my other half (a phrase we used often) because I didn't feel like a complete person without him.

I remember bursting into tears in my roommate's car one day because I could feel my relationship with the ex falling apart and I was powerless to stop it because he had stopped talking with me. I felt like half of me was being amputated because that is the power I had given him in my life.

Fast forward 2 1/2 years, with a year of therapy and anti-depressants under my belt, and I realize that I never want to feel that way again. Maybe it's self-preservation. I prefer to think that it's just me realizing how unhealthy it is to see myself as inextricably wrapped up in another person. I'm sure the ex wasn't destroyed when he broke up with me because despite his words, it wasn't really how he felt. I, unfortunately, did.

If Jason and I broke up tomorrow would I disintegrate into nothing, needing a couple of years to pull myself together again? I don't think so. I would be very, very sad, of course, because I do love him and love being with him and it would be awful if he didn't want to be with me anymore. But that girl who fell apart, it's just not who I am anymore. More importantly, it's not what our relationship is. I don't see us as two halves of one person, but two people coming together to create this (what I consider) pretty cool couple. We both have our individuality, and sometimes that strains things because we both have fairly strong opinions and don't always look at things the same way. But so far that's working, I think because we're both willing to compromise and we both want the other one to be happy.

So what does it mean to need someone? Is it ok to need a certain person? Is need in love the same sort of need as in, I need water or I need air? What is "need"?

Positive Movement

It's official. The new administrative assistant is starting on Wednesday, which means I won't be doing the admin stuff anymore, but will instead be doing more interesting, substantive work. Right now I'm researching the changes in estate taxes for 2006 to write up something for a newsletter. Hurrah! (Now if only they'd pay me what they pay her. I typed up her offer letter on Friday so I know for a fact she's making more than I am. Plus benefits.)

Negative bit: they know I have a boyfriend in Boston. They were all asking for updates on the weather on Friday with the whole will she or won't she make it to Boston this weekend situation. So I think the odds of them hiring me for real, which were never great since I don't think they want to hire a permanent attorney and why would they when they can get me at bargain-basement temp rates and still have me doing semi-substantive stuff, are pretty slim because they know about the Boston boy. I should just shut my big mouth and say I'm visiting "a friend."

The Fantabulous Tennessee Thanksgiving Adventure

Every cloud has a silver lining. My flight is now supposed to leave at 12:40 AM, which is an improvement from the 1:30 AM it was at when I left work. Despite the wondering if I'm going to make it to Boston tonight or, really, at all this weekend, I am a little glad because I came home to my new computer cord. Hurrah! On to the pictures!

Day One: Wednesday - Driving to Tennessee
The trip wound up taking about 8 hours, what with stopping for lunch at all. It was a lot of fun, and I think Jason and I are pretty good travel companions. We stopped for lunch in a town outside of Roanoke and spent our meal snickering at the thick accents floating around the restaurant, particularly the man in line in front of us who sounded just like Boomhauer from King of the Hill. We then spent the rest of the next 5 days talking to each other mainly in thick Southern drawls.

One issue that came up: Jason is convinced that I hate his penny whistle (no, that is NOT a euphemism, you dirty people). See, we both like the high-spirited Irish music and he made me some CD's that we listened to on the way down. At the start of the first song, he whipped out his little penny whistle, which he's practicing in preparation for eventually learning the Irish bagpipes for our someday Irish band which so far includes me, his brother and sister, his brother's girlfriend, and probably his cousin in Rhode Island. Now I'm all for his practicing his penny whistle skills - for a bit. Along about the 8th song, I was getting a little tired of the high-pitched whistle drowning out the rest of the music. So I asked him to stop and he did after giving me a hurt look and then ratted me out to my cousins, telling them I hated his penny whistle. Tattletale!

We arrived amidst many hugs and welcomes and settled into Kingsport life relatively quickly. Or at least what I consider to be Kingsport life, which consists of extensive chats with family members and naps.

Following are the reasons why even if Jason and I had broken up before Thanksgiving, he was still coming with me to Tennessee, darn it:

Exhibit A - Cousin George and his wife Angie

Exibit B - Cousin Greg and his fiance Rosie

Exhibit C - Cousin Amy and her boyfriend Craig

Exhibit D - Cousin Geoff and his fiance Megan (showing off her bling)
Did I mention they're ALL younger than me? Any questions?

Day Two - Thanksgiving:
Lots of food. No, really, LOTS of food. (my dad gracing us with his carving skills despite my aunt not having the right knife. Yes, everyone was just as shocked and appalled as he was. Have I mentioned my dad's a bit of a knife snob?)

My mom and dad.

Aunt Laurel, hostess extraordinaire: She was up into the wee hours basting the turkey and baking pies in her brand new double oven.

Everything tasted great and being able to spend quality time with family who I haven't spent quality time with in years was wonderful. I took a nap in the late afternoon, letting the tryptophan work its magic, which was lovely as well.


Jason woke me up and told me he'd learned a lot while I was asleep. Specific topics included deer hunting and digging a hole with a Bobcat.

Day Three - Black Friday
While I've only personally ventured out on Black Friday once in my life that I can remember (in Harvard Square. I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who is claustrophobic and/or does not like crowds), Jason is an old pro, scouring the ads beforehand. We hit Best Buy, Circuit City, Office Max, Wal Mart and Target.

This year's deal that everyone had was a portable DVD player. Jason got one at Best Buy using the rebate and his McDonald's Best Buy bucks that he'd been hoarding and that were going to expire soon.

That afternoon the ladies minus me went wedding dress shopping for my cousin's fiance, Rosie. Jason and I got back kind of late from shopping and I was worn out and feeling grungy because if you're going to drag me to the stores at 6:30 AM, I'm not going to shower beforehand.

Jason and I went to dinner at Cracker Barrel with my parents. Yee-haw! I had a big Southern breakfast for dinner with grits and biscuits and gravy. I really hope that my Heaven has lots of Southern food. We also took advantage of the slashed prices on all of Cracker Barrel's autumnal wares. I got a great silver maple leaf candle holder.

Day Four - Saturday
Bays Mountain Park day! I have many fond memories of going to Bays Mountain Park when I was very small and feeding the ducks in the lake. It was also the first place I saw Hardware Wars, a classic for every Star Wars fan, in my opinion. I had a crazy flashback when we turned a corner going up the mountain and the side of the dam was in front of us. I didn't even know that I remembered what the dam looked like, but it was total deja vu.

I also have fond memories from when I was eight of freaking out my big tough, camo-wearing, shotgun in the Everglades-shooting cousins (one of whom is now a Marine), by holding the GIANT snake after the snake presentation, and then letting it wrap around my leg because it was cold. Poor snake.

We walked all around the park and saw snakes, big bullfrogs, wolves, deer, and a fat possum named Poindexter.
It looked like the ducks were all gone for the season, which I was sad about since I was looking forward to seeing them again. As you can see from the pictures, it was a beautiful day.

Inside the main building some of the exhibits were the same ones that were there when I was four. I should have taken pictures of the diagrams of how bees make honey and the plastic dinosaurs showing the various dinosaur eras (plus the wooly mammoth and giant deer. There were giant deer back then! I had no idea. And based on what were surely accurate scale model representations, those suckers were almost as big as the T-Rex).

The best part, in my opinion, was the kiddie cave, which explicitly forbade anyone over 11 from entering. WhatEVER. As you can see, Amy and I had no qualms with joining my cousin's stepdaughter, Carrigan, in the cave.

We stayed for the planetarium show, which took us on an exploration of space complete with a snazzy spaceship and a futuristic theme song that Jason regaled us with afterwards while Amy danced.

Day Five - SUNDAY
Sad day. We said good-bye to everyone the night before and headed out early Sunday morning. We met up with Jason's brother and his girlfriend in Shepherdstown, WV, a cutesy-pie little town with cutesy-pie little stores near the site of the Battle of Antietam.

Here's a cannon:


Yep.

Then we got lost and stuck in major Thanksgiving weekend traffic coming back and were dead tired by the time we made it back to my place. The next day Jason's flight left first thing and then I went to an interview for the job I have now. All in all, a successful weekend.

As a side note, the family LOVES Jason. Every single one of them. Now I'm going to give him a big head, but I got lots of thumbs ups from the men and many "He's so cute!" and "He's great!" from the women. So I think we've officially reached the point that if I break up with him I will be shunned and ridiculed forever in my family circles.

Freakin' Weather!

Don't get me wrong. I generally love snowstorms. Watching the snow out my window, reveling in being all warm and cozy inside and possibly indulging in a mug of hot chocolate, going for a walk and enjoying the strange silence of a deep snowfall.

But really, I would love this one a lot more if I was ALREADY IN BOSTON WITH JASON!!

But no.

As of now, my flight is delayed two hours and is supposed to take off at 9:50 PM. Of course, the airline can't actually tell us that the flight is officially canceled, as I'm very sure it will be, until the last minute, so I'm going to have to drive myself out to Dulles, park, wait for the shuttle in the COLD, get through security and all that jazz, and wait at the gate for 3 or 4 hours until they send us home. I was planning on taking public transportation out there, but if they cancel my flight after, say, 11 PM, I'm basically stranded because I refuse to pay $75 or whatever it is for a cab. So I will drive.

It's so frustrating because the weather is absolutely fine here. The storm came in, dumped a few inches of snow on us last night, and then moved out, leaving a cold, yet sunny day. This morning the storm was moving fast and they said it would stop snowing in Boston by early afternoon. I've been getting email updates from Jason all day and the basic fact is, weather people lie.

I am reminded of the time when I lived in Tucson and a HUGE scary hurricane was supposed to sweep over us via the Gulf of California in between Baja and mainland Mexico. It was all the news people could talk about for 3 days. The storm's a-comin'! Grab your children and hold on tight! People in low-lying areas sandbagged their homes, people in the foothills stocked up on food in case all the washes filled up and they couldn't get to the store. It was madness.

Guess what? Not a single drop of rain.

Weather people are LIARS!

Actually I wish they could have been bigger liars in this case and completely mispredicted the snowstorm.

Alright, I'm going to go check the airline website again.

My Lights, They Are A-Fallin' Down

Last night I was sitting in the family room watching this really awful AMC/Entertainment Weekly holiday movie special. I Tivoed it because I thought it would be a cute little holiday retrospective, but as soon as it started and I realized the little 2-second snippets of holiday movies were going to be interspersed with a not-so-delightful farce starring French Stewart (the weird guy from 3rd Rock From the Sun), I probably just should have stopped it right there. I must remember that AMC is no longer the awesome American Movie Classics from my childhood, but is now the crazy random movie channel that played Halloween 5 a couple of nights ago.

Anyway, I was watching this solely for the 5-minute interviews with directors of some of our favorite holiday classics, when this riiiiip sound shot through the room, scaring the crubbish out of me. Then I noticed my lights had fallen. See, I stuck them on the wall with the help of these little holiday decoration brackets, marketed and sold by Wal-Mart with the promise that they would hold up my lights. They consist of these plastic brackets stuck on sticky circles, which then stick on the wall. The sticky circles are still on the wall, but they have lost their hold on the plastic brackets.

But here's my plan. Maybe you remember that I fixed my broken bookshelves with the miracle of epoxy? No, I'm NOT going to epoxy the lights to the wall. I'm going to epoxy the little plastic brackets to the sticky circles and make them super sticky in the hope that they will hold my lights up through Christmas. That's my project for tonight.

Also, tonight I'm going to the National Cathedral to see Jan Karon, author of the Mitford book series, speak. Those are some of my favorite books and I'm so excited!

Going Through Withdrawal

I'm so desolate without my computer at home. Over the last couple of days I've managed to pop on for a second here or there just to check and see if I had any pressing, important emails. Yeah, that never really happens, but I can pretend.

Last night, the battery officially died. I was reading an email and suddenly my little Dell was preparing to hibernate. Fine. I hope my new cord comes soon.

I still want to post about Thanksgiving, more for my own journaling record, I suppose, since it's now a week and a half after the fact and you all are probably over Thanksgiving stories. But I have some cute pictures.

I decorated my little family room down in the basement this weekend. Jason and talked about getting a tree Sunday night after Thanksgiving, but we got back to town late. We did manage to find one tree lot just about to close, but the little trees were $35 and I wasn't feeling that dedicated to it considering I'd be decorating it by myself and all since he was leaving at 6 AM the next morning. Plus I was really, really tired and not feeling all that Christmasy.

Well, Saturday I pulled out one Christmas box looking for my Santa Claus Christmas countdown door hanger. I didn't find it (and am really wondering where it is...), but I did pull out some cute figurines of angels and santas, including the angel music box that used to sit on my piano every Christmas when I was growing up. I also happened upon some lights that I decided to check and see if they still worked. One of the long strands worked perfectly, so I sat on my floor for a moment, mulling over the set-up in the room and deciding what to do. I wound up stringing the lights across one side of the room and placing burgundy velvet bows on the lights intermittently.

I spent the weekend basking in the Christmas light glow. When I was little I used to lay almost under the Christmas tree, reading Anne of Green Gables or A Christmas Carol in the glow of the lights on the tree. Um, that may be one of the reasons why my glasses prescription is so strong.

Also, my mom and dad sent me this amazing Swiss chalet advent calendar. I don't know if anyone besides me ever noticed this, but in the movie National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation in between each day they show this beautiful Victorian house that is an advent calendar. They open a window every day, and behind each window is a painted scene of Victorian holiday fun. On Christmas Day they open the front door, where you see the family gathered around a huge tree. It's probably wrong that my most vivid memory of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the scene-changing advent calendar, but there it is. I also rather liked Eddie's bright red dickie under his cream sweater.

Anyway, my parents found this advent calendar in the shape of a Swiss chalet with snow on the roof and evergreen and holly in the window boxes. There are no painted scenes, but instead the windows either open to reveal an empty space or pull out a little drawer perfectly sized for a little Christmas treasure. So cute! I have taken pictures and will post them once I get the computer cord.

See how much of my blogging destiny hinges on getting that computer cord?

Since I have a job at least until Christmas, I find that I'm getting into the Christmas mood. It has come late this year, but it's here and I'm glad. Yesterday I Tivoed "Christmas" and "Holiday" for the next couple of weeks to find the programs I don't want to miss. I'm looking forward to some festive TV viewing.

Work

The people I'm working for now are a hoot. I'll explain more once I can get on my computer at home again.

Here's something that I really believe is true: you work to people's expectations. In my last job I was coddled and led around, doing menial tasks, with my boss overexplaining and double-checking everything. Here, they've kind of thrown me into the deep end and expected me to swim. So far, I've come through. And because they know my credentials and trust me, I'm in charge of a couple of projects and once they hire the permanent secretary I'll be doing more substantive work.

Frappr

I'm jumping on the Frappr bandwagon. Come, look, tell me where you are.

Back Downtown

Today I started work in the District again and it feels really good. I think there's just something about getting on a train and walking a few blocks on busy city streets that make me feel like I'm going to work for real. Driving just stresses me out and being out in the suburbs makes me feel removed from any sort of action. There was even a saxophone player playing Christmas carols when I stepped out of the Metro station this morning. As much as I loved being in Tennessee last weekend and as much as I want to have my own house with my own garden and my own trees someday, there's a bit of me that loves the rush of a city too.

Quickie Update

My power cord on my computer has officially died, which means I can't update my blog from home, which means no pictures yet of my Fantabulous Tennessee Thanksgiving Adventure. Well, it wasn't that adventurous. We sat around and ate a lot and caught up with one another. It was fantabulous though. The boy (oh heck. Jason.) has ordered me a new power cord because he is the King of Bargains and I should be getting it soon. My cousin Amy has posted pictures of our holiday on her blog (see link at right). I think both Jason and I look like we're settling nicely into our tryptophan comas.

In other news, I got a temp job at a firm that does health law-related stuff. I'm so excited! It's just an administrative position, but they're really busy and because of my background they've assured me they'll be throwing lots of stuff my way.

Fashion Misstep of the Day

Uggs and gaucho pants.

Um, no.

How Many Thanksgiving Dinners Have YOU Had?

I just had my second Thanksgiving dinner. My first was last night at this big potluck thrown by some girls in my ward. It was great!

The one today wasn't as good. Corporate food in chafing dishes just can't beat homemade. But, hey, free food. One of the perks about working at the fancy-schmancy firm is they like to throw parties. Today we got Thanksgiving dinner for lunch and we're having a dessert buffet at 3:00. I'm hoping for some pecan pie.

Of course the best Thanksgiving meal is going to be in Tennessee on Thursday. I'm so excited! I haven't seen my relatives down there in 4 years and not only do I get to see them and my parents who are driving down from Chicago, but I also get to show off the boy. I plan to parade him around and rattle off his credentials so everyone will be very impressed and say, "Well, we were worried about Kelly for awhile there - she is 29 and still single after all - but looks like she found herself a good one."

In addition to being excited about the holidays, I'm also feeling a little more relaxed about the temp job thing. I met with another staffing agency this morning and they have two potential things for me. They sent my resume in for one of them already. It's at an elder law firm in the District dealing mostly with Medicaid issues. Um, can you say right up my alley? It would be more administrative, but it's a small firm and I'd be working mainly with the head partner. Also, my boss at my job now asked me today if I could potentially stay into December. So either way, it looks like I'll have something for at least the first couple of weeks of December, which is a relief.

So now I can pick up the boy at the airport tomorrow and drive to Tennessee on Wednesday with a lighter heart, knowing I will be able to pay my rent for the next couple of months.

The Stairs. They're Out to Get Me.

Um, so I fell down the stairs again. I think this is the fourth, maybe the fifth time. And I feel like an idiot. But in all fairness the carpet is really slippery. Plus, there's always an extra factor that just pushes me over the edge. Like on a couple of the other occasions I had just put lotion on my feet. Or I had on very slick shoes, as was the case last night. I'd kind of skidded a little on the tiles at work so I knew my shoes were slick already.

I gouged a nice hole in my left knee that, once it scars over, should nicely complement the scar from skidding in some gravel while racing my friend Randy on my bike when I was 7. I also ripped my last pair of hose. And tore a nail. Oh the humanity!

One issue that I have with the stairs, besides the fact that they are dangerously slippery, is that they only seem to trip me up when one of my roommates is home, often standing at the top of the stairs or nearby for maximum auditory and visual impact. I would just like to note that I go up and down those stairs at least 10 times a day with no mishaps. When I was home all day in September, I went up and down probably 50 times a day. See, the kitchen and the front door are upstairs so if I need to leave or get something to eat or drink, or just feel like being social with my roommates (on the off chance that we're home at the same time), I have to navigate the stairs. So 4 or 5 stumbles down an incredibly dangerous and slippery staircase out of 3 months of living in the apartment really isn't that bad. Right?

Back in the Saddle Again

Everyone be proud of me. I got up at 5:15 AM and swam 60 laps this morning. I'm proud of me.

I sort of wondered over the past year if part of my motivation behind working out and losing weight was the hope that I might meet a boy who found me attractive. Well, I did and he does, and he still does even now after 3 1/2 months of no regular workout routine, eating sugar, and increased bodily squishiness. But I'm not happy with myself right now.

I've been feeling like such a blob. Ever since the Bar, it's been a sugar free-for-all. I've been basically eating whatever I darn well pleased and not swimming except for sporadically (and not at all since I started working a month and a half ago). I looked at my back yesterday and realized the rolls are coming back. I measured myself this morning and discovered I've gained width on my hips and waist. This has got to stop. I will NOT put those 45 pounds that I lost since Chicago back on! And I still want to lose 35 pounds (maybe more now. I don't have a scale so I don't know how much I've gained back).

Plus, there's the added benefit of feeling better mentally. As I contemplate this job ending and wonder if I'll be able to make January rent, and as I continue to hunt for that elusive job, I need something to boost my spirits. I bought a 20-swim pass at the local pool a couple of months ago and after today I still have 14 swims left. Those will defintiely help my mental state.

So it's not because of a boy or the prospect of a boy. It's because of me. I like the way I feel when I'm exercising and have that regular rush of endorphins. I like watching my body become less and less flabby. I like being able to fit into smaller sizes of cute clothes.

I'm going to go swimming tomorrow and next Tuesday (I can't go Saturday, Sunday and Monday because of other commitments). Then I'll let myself enjoy Thanksgiving, but until Christmas I'm back on the no sugar plan and I will do my best to exercise at least 3 or 4 times a week.

The Girls

I've been stewing over this since watching Gilmore Girls last night, and since Katie wrote about it, I figure I should just get it out there.

First, I LOVE Luke and Lorelai together.

Second, I am really angry with the whole


**SPOILER**




illegitimate daughter thing. Please! I know the writers are just coming up with a way to split Luke and Lorelai up because the ONLY way they could be split up is if Luke got all sullen and noncommunicative because of this secret illegitimate daughter because Luke and Lorelai are so perfect and happy and complement one another so well. Grrr!




**END SPOILER**

Third, I think Christopher is a loser and needs to go away. The guy was never around when Rory was growing up and now he only pops in when it suits him. And when he does pop in he's all territorial with Rory and Lorelai. I'm sorry, was Lorelai supposed to put her life on hold for 21 years until you got your head out of your butt and decided you wanted to build a life with her after all?! GO AWAY, Christopher! You're not wanted.

OK, I'm done. Now that Rory is back and sassy and not such a punk anymore, I just want things to be nice for a little while. Let's go back to having a normal life in Stars Hollow.

Manipulative Music

I have a 90's playlist on my iPod that automatically pulls in everything I have that came out in the 90's. This includes soundtracks and classical music, which wasn't really the idea, so I may have to modify it some.

So I was just sitting here merrily going through some correspondence and suddenly a song came on that jerked me right into a very very sad moment in a movie that is now recognized by all as being cheesey. I don't even want to say it.

Alright, it's Titanic. (I'm prepared for an onslaught of "I can't believe you have that soundtrack!" and "I can't believe you thought that was sad at all!" and the boy probably wanting to distance himself from me from now on).

Yes, yes, I know it was a sappy movie and I personally could care less about the supposed allure of Leonardo DiCaprio. But I actually like Kate Winslet generally and I thought the movie was pretty amazing as far as effects and recreating the ship and the costumes and everything go.

And, yes, I cried. Alright? I was 21 and reveling in sappy movies. So when the song came on my iPod just now that played when Rose released the frozen Jack into the ocean and then swam to the frozen seaman to blow the whistle so the lifeboat would come back for her, my eyes welled up a little. I'm not proud of this, but there it is.

The music in the movie is lovely, thanks to James Horner AND some blatant plagiarism of Enya. Seriously. There are two key songs in the Titanic soundtrack that are just variations on two songs from Caribbean Blue. Has anyone else noticed this besides me?

Time's Up

I just found out my temp job ends November 30th. I have mixed feelings. The obvious downside is that my paycheck stops in a couple of weeks. The upside is that I won't have to commute out to the 'burbs anymore. The commute has been really wearing on my clutch and my nerves.

Another upside is I won't have a boss that I feel the need to walk on eggshells around. OK, truth is, I might have a boss like that again, but some craziness happened right after I started here and I've been tiptoeing around ever since to ensure that the craziness does not happen to me too.

Another upside is that I won't be doing the same old mind-numbing paper shuffling. No, if I get another temp job I'll get to learn all new mind-numbing paper shuffling. At least learning the routine is interesting at first.

So really the ups outweigh the downs. But the down is a pretty big down.

I've already emailed all my staffing agencies to let them know. This week I was planning on getting on the ball with a huge resume blitz of the DC and Boston areas. This just gives me more of an impetus to make sure that happens.

The issue I'm debating right now is whether I should work 3 hours of OT tonight. I was planning on going home and doing job stuff, but 3 hours of time and a half will come in handy in a couple of weeks. I'm working OT Wednesday and Thursday, but then next week I'm only working two days because of Thanksgiving (Reason number 467 why it sucks to be a temp: no holiday or vacation pay). I'll probably end up staying tonight.

I'm tired of this. I just want a real job with real pay and real benefits.

Animal Magnetism

The boy's cat loooves me. It's very sweet. Last night he bounded off of the boy's lap to come snuggle on mine. I think this explains why when I was 13, my mom wouldn't let me touch our new kitten for a couple of weeks. Animals like me, I don't know why. Cases in point:

My cat TC: she came into our house a scared, formerly abused little girl kitty and decided that she would live under my bed for the rest of her years. I managed to coax her out, though, and she glued herself to my side. She used to climb up my back and perch on my shoulders when I was sitting on the floor doing homework. If I took too long downstairs eating breakfast she would stand at the top of the stairs and meow for me to come back up. Then she would sit on the top of the toilet and watch me get ready for school, purring all the while.

The two bloodhounds down the alley: My friend Carrie and I used to take a shortcut through an alley on the way home from school. Behind one fence were two bloodhounds, one very old (Mama Dog) and one obviously younger (Baby Dog). They barked and barked at us as we rode by. One day, I stopped and walked toward the fence. They stopped barking and cocked their heads, watching me walk toward them. As I got to the fence, the younger dog stuck his nose under the bottom of the fence. I let him sniff my fingers and he gave me a little lick. Then he ran to the other side of the yard, got his ball, and trotted back, pushing the ball under the fence to me. We played fetch for a bit. Every day I would stop for a few minutes and play with them. It got to the point that if I showed up and they weren't outside, I could whistle and they would come dashing out to greet me.

Santa Cruz Jenn's dog Bob. Although to be honest, Bob loved everyone. But there was always a certain high-pitched whining and excited piddling on the floor that was meant just for me

Beauty, the neighbor's Springer Spaniel: again with the piddling.

Sammy, the other neighbor's cat: if I took too long getting out of the car after pulling into my parking spot, she would jump on the hood and peer at me through the windshield, plaintively mewing. Once I got out, she would leap in front of me and writhe around on the sidewalk, begging to be petted.

My mom has this natural affinity for children, and apparently I have that with animals. Except for my aunt's cockatiel. She has an affinity for men and adores my uncle above all others. Unless I have pasta - then she's my best friend.

So, boy, I'm very sorry that your cat likes me so much and jumped off of you to come see me. I'll try to ignore him next time I'm visiting if you like.

Thoughts

Oh the cuteness! You need to go look at my old college roommate's post for today. Her two little girls are such dolls and since we all live in NoVa, I get to see them occasionally. Hurrah!

I was reading through some of my pre-Bar posts the other day(see months of June and July) and realized that despite berating myself for my lack of diligence at the time, I really did a lot of studying. No wonder when some people saw me at a wedding reception post-Bar they looked all confused and said, "I thought you moved already..." It was because I DISAPPEARED during July. Good thing I passed because I honestly don't know if I could have put myself through that again.

On Naming

I want to take a poll. Do you name your car and/or iPod? The boy and I have been having a debate about whether this is a strictly girl thing. My opinion is that it's more of a family thing, since my family has a long tradition of naming cars, including my grandpa with his Suburbans Big Blue and Blue 2, and my uncle with his blurple Infiniti named Tyrone. For those of you who haven't heard, I personally have a white Ford Focus named Bunny.

The boy says that he thinks it's a girl thing because a lot of girls he knows have named their cars, versus the manly men he knows who spit upon the idea of anthropomorphising cars (I'd just like to point out that the boy's car has a name, but whatever...).

I'd also like to announce that I have named my iPod. Enrique. Partly because he's currently clothed in a fabulous Miami-blue iSkin. Sexy!

Let's Hear It For Fancy-Schmancy Litigation Firms Who Bill A LOT

Because I passed the Bar, my supervisor (at my temporary job, mind you) took me and the temp who's leaving today and the supervisor's long-suffering assistant out to a fancy lunch. Then she gave us Barnes & Noble gift certificates and fancy chocolate bars (I took the dark chocolate. Mmmm...dark chocolate...).

In addition, if I work more than 2 hours of overtime on a weeknight I get free dinner on the firm, up to $15. Can you say leftovers? I'm not making the big bucks, but some of these little perks of being in the big firm milieu are nice.

Quaintness and Character Are Sometimes Overrated

I went to Boston this weekend and flew back to DC this morning on a 6:17 flight. I'm getting through this day on sheer willpower and big cups of Diet Coke with Lime.

There are these great brick sidewalks throughout Boston and Cambridge that make you say, "How quaint!" and reflect upon the history of the town and area, especially as you stroll by graveyards with ancient tombstones. Yes, the bricks looks nice, but just try walking in heels on them. None of them really meet in what you might call a straight and unfettered line. There are usually cracks and fissures between the bricks, just about the perfect size to suck in a kitten heel. I got used to walking on the bricks while I lived there, but in just a few short months I've forgotten how to be obsessively aware of the brick patterns and where I can actually place my foot. I counted no less than four instances of walking along holding hands with the boy, and having to pull him back and balance on him as one or the other of my shoes refused to budge from between two bricks.

Saturday night we went out for dinner at The East Coast Grill to celebrate my passing the Bar. The food was yummy. The restaurant does upscale cuisine in a semi-divey atmosphere with lots of boisterous activity. I have a soft spot for dives, so I thought it was great. In addition, they served the limes in my Diet Coke on plastic skewers shaped like marlins (or swordfish. We couldn't decide). Those are now tucked away in my purse, destined for use in future drinks at home. I also have to give a tip to anyone around Inman Square who goes to Christina's for some fall ice cream. Pumpkin and Ginger Molasses are fabulous together!

Sunday I saw some friends at church, which was kind of weird. I loved seeing them and it made me realize how much I miss everyone up there. But I'm not really sure what to say when people ask how it's going, so I usually wind up being truthful. I do like DC, but it hasn't been easy. I haven't really built a life here for myself yet because I'm back and forth to Boston and the boy comes here, plus I haven't gone to the singles ward yet due to being gone and conferences and wanting to check out the family ward first. The job search feels stagnant and I don't feel very encouraged from some of the other recent grads I work with. Plus, I'm constantly waffling between whether I should even invest the time and energy and a LOT of money to waive into the DC Bar if I'm going to move back to Boston maybe. I feel a constant tug back to Boston because of the boy.

It would also be very nice if spending more time with him actually managed to satiate me a little and help me get through the two weeks in between our visits. Sadly, the more time I spend with him, the more time I want to spend with him. Thank goodness I only have to wait 4 days this time. Yes, it may seem kind of ridiculous for me to have been there this weekend, come back for 4 days, and then go back this coming weekend, but the reason is, his birthday is Friday and we didn't want to go 3 weeks without seeing each other. (Gah! I can't believe I just wrote that in a public forum! I apologize now for the present and future mushiness that may occasionally invade my blog.)

I also figured out the best way in the world to get to Dulles Airport if you don't have someone who can chauffeur you around and if you conveniently happen to work near the airport. There's a park and ride bus stop right near where I work where I can park overnight and catch the Dulles bus. Very, very handy for these weekends and, since all I have to pay is $3 each way on the bus, much cheaper than the Dulles $9 a day cheap lot parking.

Shout It From the Rooftops!

I PASSED THE BAR!!!!!!

The 80's

If the Mass Bar folks are going to post the results today, the least they could do is be nice and post them at 9 AM today. But no.

So in the meantime, here's a list I stole from Chris because I'm so in an 80's mood, what with my Fashion Plates nostalgia and all.

1. You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members.
Yes, but only because of peer pressure. And because Jon seemed so nice. He was the quiet, misunderstood one.

2. You wanted to be on StarSearch.
Of course.

3. You ever uttered the word “Radical!”
Probably. Most likely "Rad," though.

4. You wore jelly shoes and jelly bracelets
I LOVED my jelly shoes and had piles of jelly bracelets.

5. You thought “Ghostbusters” was by far the coolest movie
I don't know if it was THE coolest, but it was up there.

6. You remember watching shows like “Punky Brewster” , “Webster”, “You Can’t Do That On Television” , “Wild&Crazy Kids” and “Double Dare”
Yes. Jenn in Santa Cruz and I share a passion for Alistair from "You Can't Do That On Television."

7. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off. Or even when he had those freaky eyes in “Thriller” at the end of the video.
Yes. Poor Michael. He used to look like a human being. Even with the freaky Thriller eyes.

8. You wore a banana clip in your hair or one of those slap on wrist bands at some point during your youth.
I definitely had a few banana clips.

9. You rolled up the bottoms of your splatter painted jeans.
Um, I rolled, but they weren't splatter painted.

10. You wore loafers with everything, and you put the laces in those little rolls.
No

11. You had slouch socks, and puff painted your own shirt at least once.
Absolutely!

12. You owned a doll with ‘Xavier Roberts’ signed on it’s butt.
Yes, Inga Sallie. I got her Christmas of 1983 when I had the chicken pox.

13. You knew what Willis was “talkin’ ’bout.”
Yes.

14. You know the profound meaning of “Wax on, Wax off.”
Yes. As well as how to do the crane move.

15. You can name half of the members of the elite “Brat Pack.”
Probably all of them actually.

16. You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the Bell for endless hours!
Oh yes!

17. You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle Rock.
Dance your cares away,
Worries for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.

18. You yearned to be a member of The Babysitters Club, and tried to start a club of your own.
Totally! I thought Claudia and Stacy were cool, but realized that in reality I was probably most like Mary Ann.

19. You sat on your back porch, playing with your “My Little Pony” , “Rainbow Brite” , and “Strawberry Shortcake” dolls
I never had Rainbow Brite, but I was all about the My Little Ponies and Strawberry Shortcake. To prove what a child of the 80's I am: I had a Strawberry Shortcake Atari game.

20. You know that another name for a keyboard is a “Synthesizer.”
Well, duh.

21. You hold a special place in your heart for “Back to the Future.”
Love it!

22. You know where to go if you “wanna go where everybody knows your name.”
To Cheers of course

23. You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.
Anyone who gets Jake Ryan in the end is obviously someone I should model my life after.

24. You know what “sike” and “not!” mean
Yes

25. You fell victim to 80’s fashion : big hair, crimped, combed over to the side, big hoop earrings, and possibly the worst:you wore spandex pants.
Oh yes. The shame.

26. You wanted to be a Goonie, or Elliot from E.T.
Goonies!!!

27. You owned an extensive collection of Cabbage Patch Kids and trolls.
Only one troll, which was the mascot of my little car, but by virtue of being the recipient of many hand-me-downs, I wound up with 12 Cabbage Patch Kids.

28. You knew “The Artist” when he was humbly called “Prince.”
Yes

29. You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played “Sam” to be.
I didn't know any better. He also played the same character in Three Men and A Baby.

30. You ever wore flourescent -neon if you will clothing….
Yes

31. You could breakdance, or wished you could.
I sort of wished I could.

32. You know who He-Man and She-Ra are.
By the power of Grayskull!
The fate of the world in the hands of one beautiful girl! She-Ra! Princess of Power!

33. You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.
See above with the whole Strawberry Shortcake thing.

34. You know all the words to “Ice Ice Baby”.
Yes

35. You remember MC hammer well.
I think I still have that tape somewhere...

36. You can still sing the rap to “Fresh Prince of Belair”.
It still runs through my head occasionally

37. You own any cassettes.
Yes

38. You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we’d all be living on the moon.
Well, at least by 2001.

39. You remember and/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from PizzaHut.
Mm, no.

40. Pizza Hut was the coolest place to hang.
Actually, it was The Biggest Taco Bell in the World

41. Poltergeist freaked you out.
Absolutely. Love it!

42. You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an E.T. lunchbox.
I think I had a Smurfs lunchbox...

43. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
Yes

44. You wanted to communicate with some being named Cinergy, or you wanted green hair like that lead singer of the Misfits.
Truly truly truly outrageous!

45. You totally LOVED Barbie’s cooler, punkier counterpart, “Jem” and her “Rockers”
Isn't that the same as 44...?

46. You wanted to have an alien like Alf living in your house.
No because he would have eaten my cat.

47. You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.
No, but I envied the girls who could pull that off.

48. You wore tights under shorts and felt stylish.
Yes. I'm so ashamed.

49. You layered your multi-colored slouch socks, and added suspenders to make your outfit complete.
I definitely layered the socks

50. You ever had a Swatch Watch.
No, but I was envious of them

51. You actually spent countless hours trying to perfect the care-bear stare.
No

52. You had a crush on one of the Coreys
Corey Haim was much cuter. He's weird looking now.

53. You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
and then not funny...and then funny...and then not funny...

54. You had WonderWoman or Superman underwear.
Um, I believe the term is underROOS! Wonder Woman and R2-D2.

55. You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.
No, but I think Wonder Woman or Princess Leia would be the girl equivalent.

56. You believed that “By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power”
Well, I needed the sword first

57. You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.
Yes

58. Partying “like it’s 1999″ seemed SO far away!
Yeah, like I would be 23 in 1999. That's SOOOOO old!

59. You ever owned or wanted any of the NKOTB action figures or dolls.
No, thankfully, no.

60. You remember when Deborah Gibson was “Debbie” Gibson.
Of course!

Happy Holidays

I've decided that despite my angst and uncertainty, despite my lack of funds and wondering if I'll be able to pull together enough money to buy a ticket to Chicago for the holidays, despite the fact that I won't see the boy for the entire stretch of Christmas and New Year's, I need to get myself in the Christmas mood already. I mean, Wal-Mart has been in the mood since August, so it's about time I catch up.

Usually by this time of year I'm listening to my Christmas music and feeling happy and jolly courtesy of Perry Como, who in my mind is the King of Christmas Music. Don't get me wrong, I love Bing and Frank and Nat and all the others, but Perry is the king. This year has been different because September crawled by filled with anxious interviews, emails, and calls to firms and staffing agencies. Then I started temping in October and fouond myself just holding on until the next paycheck and working overtime in the meantime. Plus, I've been counting the days off every for two weeks so I can see the boy. Somehow, October FLEW by.

So I have a plan. First, of course, I'm going to start listening to Christmas music when I get the chance. I have some work to do up in my lonely office on the 9th floor this afternoon, and I brought my iPod and I think my Christmas mixes from last year are still on it.

Second, I'm going to sell some Christmas ornaments - or at least try to. In the early summer I took pictures of some of my old ornaments that are very pretty, but go more with my 13 year-old rose and cream Victorian Christmas aesthetic than my current gold and crimson Elegant Christmas aesthetic. I'm hoping to be able to sell some on ebay and early November seems a good time to start that process since people are starting to think about Christmas. Going through those will help me feel festive.

Third, even though I'm going to Tennessee for Thanksgiving weekend, which is my traditional Christmas decorating weekend, I need to make a point to make my little corner of the apartment look festive. This is usually my absolute favorite time of the year and I should start reveling in it, darn it.

I <3 the 80's

Talking with Jen in Berkeley Sunday night helped me feel better about things. I don't know if she just says the things I want to hear, or if she's saying the right things and those things are resonating in that little spot inside of me that lets out a little "Ding ding ding!" when the right things are said or felt.

Either way, I feel better.

Must. Learn. Not to. Obsess.

Except, word on the street is that Bar results may be coming this week! Scary! So I'll just focus all my angst on that.

And really, a Kelly with no angst just isn't Kelly at all.
(everybody feel sorry for the boy now)

*SUBJECT CHANGE*

So I've been Tivoing the "I Love the 80's in 3-D" episodes because I realized there's been a whole new VH1 80's series out there in the world for weeks now and I haven't seen any of it. Last night I watched 1980 and 1981. Overall I'd have to say that this 3rd installment of the 80's isn't as good as the first 2, but it did have its bright spots.

For instance, Fashion Plates. I forgot about Fashion Plates! Fashion Plates have various squares of hard plastic with pieces of clothing in relief. You pick a head, a top, and a bottom, put them in the little holder with a piece of paper on top and then do charcoal rubbings of the outfit, which you can then color. Fabulous! We were all little fashionistas in the making.

I can't believe I forgot Fashion Plates. VH1 helps me get in touch with my inner child. And then makes me wish I had her toys.

Advice for the Lovelorn

I have determined that I'm not very good with this whole long-distance relationship thing. To which the boy replied, "No one is. That's why they never work out."

Um, k.

Despite that optimistic assessment, apparently we're still on.

I am a worrier by nature - at least lately I am. Have I always been like this? Well, I've always been a planner and worrying when the plan doesn't go right probably just comes with the territory. I feel like I have a lot to worry about right now. The planner part of me is pulling her hair out because nothing - NOTHING - is settled at all in my life.

The job: I'm grateful that I have this temp paralegal job, but even with overtime it's just paying enough for me to get by. My boss asked if I could stay into December, which is a good thing, but I don't really know how far into December and then what comes after that. I'm networking, and wonder when that will show fruit. I'm going to do another resume dump, and expect many "thanks, but no thanks" letters in return. I get excited and positive about every new lead and every possible opportunity, only to be disappointed in the end.

I'm excited about the prospect of working in DC, but also wonder how long I should wait before getting in contact with people in Boston and feeling out the job scene there. I wonder if going back to Boston eventually is the right thing for me to do.

Money: debt sucks. I want to get out of debt. In order to do that, I have to be making enough to pay more than minimum payments on things. That's not happening right now.

Religion: the whole job category kind of plays into this because I am confused about feelings I had in the Spring about moving to DC and how things aren't working out here in any way. Plus meeting the boy right before I left Boston kind of threw a wrench into the whole DC plan. A good wrench, but a wrench nonetheless. I go to church and feel annoyed at hearing the same old platitudes over and over. I pray and feel like I'm praying to a brick wall. I feel closed off and sad and confused. I feel snippets of the Spirit, but nothing really sustains me.

The Bar: this is my new worry. Over the past couple of months I've had moments of, "I totally failed the Bar!" but I've been able to squelch them and continue to obsess about the job situation without thinking about the Bar playing into it eventually. However, Bar results come out in November and the nightmares have started. One of them had me passing the Bar, but then the Board of Bar Overseers handed me a box full of random things and told me I had two hours to deliver them to various people or they would retract my Bar pass.

When I think about it, I honestly have no idea how I did. I went to a good law school and came out somewhere in the middle of my class, so I'm going to hope that is some sort of indication that I had at least an average chance of passing. But I don't know. And I don't know what I'll do if I don't pass because I don't have the money or the time to study and take it again.

The boy: can you really know how you feel about someone after a two-month, long-distance relationship and a total of something like 17 days together despite an amazing instant connection? Is it possible to be thinking about making big drastic changes after so little time?

The practical side of me is stepping in and pushing the romantic, gung-ho Kelly to the side. She was the one who wanted to leap right into this as soon as possible. But now I feel myself being cautious and wary. I think that I should move back to Boston if/when things are more definite between us, but then I also hate being away from him and not being able to act like a normal couple. The days we spend together are fun and I like doing everyday things with him. Then I come back to DC or he goes back to Boston and it's back to phone calls with long silences. We don't really have long silences when we're together. The phone just feels awkward when all I want is to be sitting next to him, talking to him casually, not thinking about how our time together will be over the next day, and I don't see a clear time in the future when that will happen. Everything is so vague and shadowy. Part of the vagueness is me wondering whether moving back to Boston is something that is really going to happen in the future.

Plus, I worry that my incessant worrying is just going to wear him down and he's going to decide it's just not worth all the hassle. Seriously, I'd be tired of me by now.

I think maybe if something felt secure right now I'd be a little less tense and fearful about everything all at once. That's what it is really. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I won't pass the Bar. I'm afraid I'll never get a real job as an attorney, or at least something that uses my degree, and will be a temp paralegal for the rest of my life. I'm afraid that my money stack of cards is going to come crashing down on me. I'm afraid that things won't work out with the boy. I think I'm also afraid to let myself fall into this relationship completely because...well, because of a bunch of things. And I'm sure he can feel that.

Go Sox!!!!

Be they red or white.

I lived in Chicago for 3 years (and my parents still live there), and I lived in Boston for 3 years, so I claim an affinity to sox of all colors. Especially since the first baseball game I went to was at Comiskey Park (yes, I know it's not called that anymore, but I refuse to give into the corporate branding). When the White Sox beat the Red Sox, I remember thinking how awesome it would be if the White Sox won the whole thing.

And how cool is this? I was listening to NPR on my drive into work and they had a comment from one of my professors in grad school. He taught a Chicago lit course that was so fascinating (and I have to recommend One More Time, a collection of columns by Mike Royko, a very wise and very funny Chicago columnist who passed away several years ago).

I Am Frightfully Boring

I am a neglectful blogger (which for me translates into not posting every day). I've been sick and then in Boston and then sick again and working overtime. And basically my life is kind of dull right now since I go to work, come home, look around my family room and bedroom thinking how good it would feel if they were actually clean, cough a few times, and collapse on my couch exhausted.

I think I need to stop staying up so late.

I think I need to do more for my job search. I have this paralegal job now and it's paying enough for me to live (well, until the student loans come due) and I have access to a bunch of overtime hours. Plus, traffic sucks (I'm commuting. So happy I made a point to live where I could access the Metro easily. Good thing it's a temp job) at 5:30 when I technically get off so I've just been staying until 6 or 6:30 when traffic is a smidge better. So basically I leave my house at 8 and I'm getting home at 7:00 at the earliest and all I want to do is watch whatever episodes of As Time Goes By and The Simpsons got Tivo'd that day.

I had a networking phone call yesterday and another today. Both people had good thoughts, per usual, but don't personally know of any jobs, per usual. But I have several more people to contact now. My networking spreadsheet is becoming huge.

I think my body needs to stop being a pansy and get well already! I thought I was on the road to recovery, but I think I caught another bug over the weekend. It's never a good thing to wake up, try to inhale through your mouth, and realize you can't breathe. That happened this morning actually.

Here's a picture of me and the boy during the apple picking excursion, pixelated a la America's Most Wanted to protect the innocent. We really do look cute together, even if you can't tell.

Well That Was Nice

I was in Boston this past weekend again. (And if you're thinking you didn't see me, it's because you didn't. I went to a family ward. Babies, babies everywhere!) I saw a couple of my friends who have graduated from the singles ward and are now in this particular family ward. One of them made a comment when she saw me about how great I look and how thin I look in the face. I was shocked. I suppose my clothes aren't really tighter, but I haven't worked out regularly for 3 months and my diet plan of late has been "It's my birthday!" "It's Autumn!" "It's Halloween!" and next month will be "It's the boy's birthday!" "It's Thanksgiving!" and then Christmas and so on. Plus I'm now living with the Baking Queen and Princess Brownie, so the fact that I haven't ballooned up to my prior weight plus some is a freaking miracle. Maybe it's not such a bad thing to be stressed out all the time.

Question of the Day

How do you tell a 13 year-old to go away without being mean?

A couple of weeks ago I started getting random IMs from someone whose name I didn't recognize. I never answer those so I just ignored them. Finally, the person became persistent and IMed me saying "hey" again and then asking is I had someone's email address.

I responded and asked who it was and she gave me her name. She said, "Kelsey?"

"No, this is Kelly. I don't think you know me."

Then she asked me if I went to some school and knew a couple of different people. I said, "No, I don't go to that school," and she asked if I went to some other school. Judging by the amount of u's and l8r and terms like that, I was prompted to ask this girl how old she was. 13.

I once again told her that I wasn't who she thought she was, I didn't go to her school, and added that I was much older than her.

Her response: "Oh."

{Pause}

"Can we talk anyway?"

My gut response to that was, Wha?!

What I actually typed was, "No, I don't think so."

Then she wrote, "Oh. OK. Sorry."

I told her she had no reason to apologize, but that I am 29 and not who she thought I was so I would be saying good-bye. She then said something about us talking anyway and I finally said I was going to leave soon and closed my little IM eyeball so she couldn't see me.

Now this girl has just IMed me again. I'm just ignoring her because she either doesn't believe that I'm not who she thinks I am or for some absurd reason thinks I'm a 13 year-old girl who wants to chat with her and maybe go to the mall and talk about boys.

Of course I've also thought that "she" is an undercover agent looking for the pedophiles. Go away, undercover agent. I am obviously not interested in talking to 13 year-old girls. But kudos for the good work and I hope you catch some creeps.

Happy Anniversary!

I just want to say

HAPPY 30TH ANNIVERSARY!!!!

to my parents. And for those of you who remember the 29 post from last week, yes, I was born 8 days before my parents' first anniversary. They didn't waste any time.

I am a bad daughter and don't remember if their anniversary trip is actually this week, but I think even as I type they are recreating their honeymoon magic at Disneyworld. Rock on, PUs! Love you!

The Faire

There are many reasons I have always quietly giggled at the Renaissance Fair crowd.

For example:

And:

And yet again:

As the day wore on, though, seeing wenches and Vikings became commonplace.

However, the chain mail lingerie definitely gave me pause:

I didn't take a picture of it, but there was also a HUGE gold codpiece with a chain thong over the bum. And wonderfully enough, we later happened upon a man WEARING a silver one over his black tights. As he chatted with his 5 year-old daughter. Yeah, you wanna talk about scarring a child...

I discovered that I am very susceptible to hypnosis, which is probably a fact I shouldn't be waving about the internet. Come on! Hynotize me! I dare you! The hypnotist who performed at "The Globe" said first thing that people who have a tendency toward sleepwalking can generally be hypnotized pretty easily. Well, I definitely used to do that. Maybe I still do, but I haven't had anyone around in the wee small hours in several years to tell me whether I do or not.

Then he had us do a couple of tests. The first was to hold our arms out in front of us, fists clenched, with our eyes closed. He then told us to imagine the left arm was being weighted down by heavy weights, while the right arm was being lifted up by a helium balloon, and so on. When I opened my eyes a couple of minutes later, my left arm was about six inches lower and my right arm six inches higher than they had been when he started talking.

For the second test, we held our right arm out, fist clinched, and looked at the fist, while he told us to tighten the fist and envision that as we tightened it our arms became hard as rock and we couldn't bend it if we tried. Well, my arm kind of flinched a little, but I literally could not bend it. That completely freaked me out. Two of the girls I was with tried to get me to go up on stage, but I was plenty freaked out by the little head trip he'd just played on me, there was no way I was getting up on stage so everyone could see me cluck like a chicken or whatever.

Still, it's an interesting fact to know about oneself that one can be easily hypnotized.

It was at the joust that I finally heard the word I'd been dreading all day. "Huzzah!" {shudder}

And then, as I mentioned previously, I caved. Give me some burgundy velvet and a chance to feel pretty and I'm all over that.

How's About Some Flowers?

I went to a Renaissance Fair yesterday, despite being morally opposed to them for most of my life. I figured, what the heck, it's an experience, right? I have some excellent pictures. And, I must confess, I got sucked in a bit and bought a hat/headpiece thing. I don't know what you'd call it. It's a burgundy velvet headband with a crocheted thing to hold my hair in the back. Drew Barrymore wears one in Ever After when she imitates a courtesan and buys back the servant. It's pretty. And my ultimate plan is to someday get a dress that matches and then have a Halloween costume forever. This is a long-term plan, mind you.

I will post about the Fair tomorrow complete with pictures, but right now I'm tired and feeling kind of sick. My cold has become this general head-achey, coughy, stomach queasy thing that's really annoying me. I am the worst patient ever. I get so annoyed with my body for letting me down the once or twice a year that it does. I also get annoyed with just laying on the couch and watching TV for too long. I had great plans to clean my room and the family room today after church, and not only did I not make it to church, but the rooms are still messy and the couch has been a makeshift bed as I watched Seasons 1 and 2 of As Time Goes By and napped throughout the day. So unproductive of me! But I figured since I did browbeat my body into hauling me around the Fair yesterday I should give it a break today so that I can be in top form for starting my new job tomorrow.



So today I'm giving you pictures of dahlias, which after seeing one in a magazine this weekend, I've decided is probably my new favorite flower (or one of my favorite flowers at least). There was a garden in Santa Cruz when I was there in August that was just filled to the brim with dahlias. So here you go:

Autumn Recipes

For those who are curious, here are the recipes for the food that I made while the boy was here last weekend:

Cider-Roasted Chicken
(This is from Cooking Light, but I would have to subscribe in order to access it on their website so I found it somewhere else. But I wanted to give them credit)

Apple-Cranberry Cobbler

And then the Sweet Potato Fries, which are wicked easy. Wash and slice a couple of sweet potatoes into fry-shaped slices. Rub with olive oil (I just pour some olive oil into my hands and smear it on the sweet potatoes). Sprinkle with a liberal amount of salt and a little bit of pepper. Bake in 350 degrees for about 30 minutes, or until they are the firmness you want in a fry when you poke them with a fork.

The Birthday Continues

Last night was the conclusion of my birthday extravaganza. My roommates and another friend took me out for dinner.

My roommates:

Me and Sarah:
We went to an Indian place in Old Town. No one could remember the name of the place, but they knew it was on King Street, on the left. My guess was that it would be Taj or Raja something and Kristina thought that there was a Palace in there somewhere. The name: Taj Palace.

The food was really yummy and I have some chicken tikka masala waiting at home for me tonight. Our waiter tricked us into ordering a giant tray of nan. After we placed our orders, he just asked us, "And would you like some nan with that?" I thought that it came with the entrees, but I think it just came with the house specials. So when he asked us if we wanted nan, it wasn't like other restaurants asking if we wanted a basket of bread, but more like, would you like the buffalo wing appetizer to start? However, it was fabulous, particularly the garlic nan, and came with a yummy cucumbery dipping sauce so I'm not really complaining. I just thought it was clever of the waiter to get us to order something so casually.

At the end of the night I had the waiter take a picture of the four of us and for some reason he stood reeeeally far away and then didn't zoom even though he asked where the zoom was. Observe:
Then it was back to our place for presents and cake. Kristina made this amazing flourless deep dark chocolate cake. It was insanely rich. Then I got these sassy pink notecards full of truth and wisdom. My favorite:

I'm good enough
I'm smart enough
and I'm wearing a fabulous new outfit

I also got 1,000 Places to See Before You Die, which unbeknownst to them I have been coveting for a year or so. Some of you know that I want to travel all over the world, so this seems like a handy-dandy guide to get me started and help me focus a little. Though not much, because 1,000 places are still an awful lot of places.

In other news, last night I got a temp job at an actual law firm! I know, I can't believe it either. It's a firm and it pays more than I'm getting at the data entry job so to me that says fabulous. It's in a Northern Virginia town. I don't mind the drive and I'll be mostly driving against rush hour traffic and when all is said and done, I'll probably spend less on gas in a week than the $22 I'm currently spending on the Metro every week.

There's only one itsy-bitsy problem with my trips to see the boy. We've planned out things fairly nicely so that I can pop up to Boston from the District on a Friday evening once a month or so by either a) taking the Metro a short jaunt to National, or B) taking the train and a bus to Dulles, which is more of a pain, but very doable from the District. This only arises as an issue really because pretty soon I'm supposed to be flying up from National at 7 PM and it was going to be oh-so-convenient while I was working in the District. However, I honestly don't know if I'll make the flight now that I'll be working in Virginia. I'm hoping maybe I can leave a tad early, race home, and then maybe my roommate L. can drive me to National. I have yet to ask her so we'll see.

Then we come to the Dulles issue. The town I'm working in is actually pretty close to Dulles, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I want to park my car there for the days I'm gone. Although I suppose for the lack of hassle, spending $30 once a month isn't really too big of a deal.

But the point is, I have a job! At a law firm! Through November! Yay! The other stuff will work itself out.