News

Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth, but this has been an eventful couple of weeks. Basically, my news is, I got a job! (qualified with the words "part-time" and
"temporary" - for now). On the recommendation of another health care attorney I sent
my resume to a small firm who just happened to be thinking about hiring an associate to coincide with their merger with another small firm and an increased emphasis on health care law. I met with the health care partner 2 weeks ago, met with him and the two other health care partners 1 week ago, got an offer the next day and am starting tomorrow.

Can you say whirlwind?

Since I am an untested brand new associate and their needs are not huge right now, I will be working there 3-4 days a week for about 3 months. After that time we'll all assess where we are and the hope is that I will transition to a permanent position. I think they really liked me in the interviews, they just want to make sure they can work with me and that I'm a quick study.

In the meantime, I will also keep working 1-2 days a week at a health care company, which I've been doing since December. All of the attorneys involved have been so nice and accommodating. The situation is obviously not my ideal dream job, but it's a great stepping stone and will finally give me some experience as a real-life lawyer.

The best part? Announcing to the temp agency that Thursday was my last day doing document review. That's right. After a little more than a year of that soul sucking work, I was able to quit.

I sent out an email to the 20 or so other contract attorneys telling them all I was leaving and as soon as it popped up in everyone's Outlook, they all started clapping for me. So nice! Everyone came by my desk to ask about the job and wish me well. Sometimes being a contract attorney breeds discontentment and spitefulness, but other times you build up a camaraderie with the group and everyone just wants the best for everyone else. "The best" obviously meaning leaving contract work far behind.

So tomorrow's the first day and I'm excited. I ran around and did some errands today, followed by a luxurious massage to work out the last of the document review kinks. Wish me luck!

On Being A Woman

This commentary rings true.

It also makes me feel tired.

How do we find that balance? That balance that doesn't really exist?

I feel the tugs professionally and personally. I am a self-admitted "girlie girl" who likes to dress up sometimes and wear make-up and nail polish and who can be shy and reticent to push her way into a situation. I don't think all of that is socialization. Part of it is just my personality and my personal preference. I am in a profession that wants me to be hardened and tough and push my way into a career. I have a boyfriend who doesn't like feminine trappings.

Maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

The Mormons

I'm just gonna put it out there. I'm not really sure how I feel about my church popping up as a banner ad in my Hotmail account. Just now at the top of the page: an ad for Mormon.org. Does that strike anyone else as odd?

Suenos*

I usually don't dig blogs about dreams, but last night there was this weird convergence of my two biggest recurring anxiety-ridden dreams and I'm still thinking about it.

I have two dreams that recur regularly. Dream A involves me realizing I have a final today or tomorrow for a class that I went to on the first day and then never went to again because I forgot about it and I forgot to drop it so now I was going to have a big fat F on my transcript and not graduate in time and look like an idiot. Stress!

Dream B involves me realizing I'm leaving on a big fun trip in, like, an hour, but I am not packed and on my way to the airport, even though I'm one of those people who likes to start packing weeks before the actual trip and generally arrives at the airport 2 hours early.**

I have had both of these dreams MULTIPLE times and I never feel very well rested after a night of stress and panic. And yes, I realize dreams last only a few seconds, but they feel much longer.

So last night I had what felt like HOURS of anxiety as these two dreams converged. Not only was I racing around trying to get ready for a trip with a friend and saying, "Oh my gosh, Cat is going to KILL me!!" as it got later and later and it looked more and more like we were going to miss the flight, but then I realized that I needed to study for my Sociology final for the class I hadn't been to all semester so I threw the book into my luggage and then realized the final was on Monday and I would be on some trip with Cat.

A night of stress! I think I must be really frazzled on the inside to have both of my stress dreams at once.

And then it got weird and the dream went into Spanish. Instead of packing, I was making a tortilla and a Mexican lady came over and asked me how I knew how to make them and I said I grew up in Tucson (because, you know, we ALL make tortillas all day long in Tucson) and she said I was doing a very good job and this entire conversation was in Spanish. Sometimes this happens and I am shocked at how much Spanish my subconscious remembers. Now how do I move that knowledge into my conscious, everyday brain?


*Imagine there's a little squiggly thing over the "n".

* Except for when I had to leave Boston on a 6 AM flight back to DC when Jason and I were doing the long distance thing. We both agreed that 45 minutes was about all I needed to get checked in, get through security and make the flight.

Tip

How to get through your midday slump:

Listen to some completely-inappropriate-for-work music on your ipod. Today I'm going with some of Fatboy Slim's more rockin' selections.

Awesomeness

Right now I'm sitting in Jason's living room and there's a music festival happening across the street so all we had to do on this BEAUTIFUL May Saturday is open up his windows and enjoy.

So we're both being productive and getting much needed work done while listening to great local music.



Nice.

I always forget how much I like live music. You could pretty much play any old thing and if it's live, I'm going to move my body to the beat and get into it and swear to you later that they were the best band EVER. At this moment, The Biltmores rock.

Down

I got some disappointing job prospect news a couple of days ago and it's really impacting me today. I didn't fully realize how much hope I had hinging on it, how the idea of it was helping me to hold my head up high and feel like there was some sort of career future for me.

This morning I overslept and had a hard time dragging myself out of bed when I finally did wake up. (Cloudy weather again is not helping, Boston).

Yesterday I had a good conversation with someone about how it's not the end of the world. I just need to dust myself off and get right back on that horse. There's always tomorrow. And other such words.

Today, though, I just feel tired and beaten. Two years out of law school, I know realistically that the chances of my getting a good, real job at this point are pretty slim. I wonder why I went to law school? I keep thinking back to the decision-making process that landed me there. It seemed like a good idea. I remember visiting Boston and vividly feeling that coming here for law school was the right thing for me to do and a good step for me to take. Now, two years after graduation, with no prospects and a staggering amount of school debt for this degree that right now feels pretty useless, I regret the decision every single day.

I'm sure in a couple of days I'll be able to get on the ball with sending out more resumes (which is kind of hard when there's just nothing to apply for), but for today I'm down.