I've been feeling introspective. That's what reading O magazine (as in Oprah) will do to you. That and finishing the second in a series of young adult books that are way too deep to just be for teenagers.
Oprah's February issue was all about love, and there were 4 whole pages about being a single woman. What I really liked about all the articles, not just the single lady articles, is how much they emphasized how vital it is to be a complete person yourself before you become part of a couple. I know that, of course, having heard it so many times, but it's only recently that I've really been able to feel it for myself.
Another good thing in the articles was that the majority of the married woman got married at an older age than I am right now. There is hope!
The only thing that worries me as I become this complete self is, will that important quality of Mormon be a part of my future boyfriend/husband candidates, or is that a pipe dream I need to let go of and just let myself be with someone who understands that it is a part of me, but he doesn't share it?
I've been reflecting lately about the many ways I've changed in the past few years.
- I have collected Victorian Christmas ornaments since I was about 9 or so. Every Christmas I get 2 or 3 new ones to add to my collection. The thing is, as I get older, I like the frou-frou ones less and less. I want to do an inventory next Fall and try to sell some of them on ebay. I have a large collection of rose, cream, and baby blue lacey ornaments, but now my tastes run to the more elegantly simple. I like rich colors and simple lines, not the laciness that used to appeal to me.
- Adding to the new simplicity. My favorite decorating magazine is now Real Simple, versus my old favorite, Victoria. In fact, I have a large collection of Victoria magazines that I have carried from Tucson to Chicago to Boston. I don't think I want to take them to DC - at least not all of them. That's a big step for me to admit. Anyone want some back issues of Victoria?
- I am more comfortable with who I am. I used to hold myself in, revealing the true, sweet yet sassy me to only a select few. Now I am okay with many people seeing the real me. I'm more at ease with saying what I really mean. And you know what I'm finding out? People like the real me. That person who I was so afraid would be ridiculed and hurt in some way, is actually appreciated and loved. I feel like I have more friends now who know the real me than I ever have at any other point in my life.
- In a similar vein, I am less concerned about what others think. I've always cared so very much.
- I have shaken off my shyness - well a lot of it. Honestly, I struggle every time I am in a new social situation or surrounded by a group of people I don't know. I struggle against my natural impulse to shuffle off to the corner and just watch, silently pleading with the crowd to talk to me. What I now realize is practically no one is at ease in those situations. So now I'm the one walking up to people and smiling and welcoming them. Or at least I manage to do that with 1 or 2 people. Give me a break, I'm still working on this.
It has even gotten to the point that a few weeks ago when I went to a reception at the Boston Bar Association, I felt energized upon leaving. That has never happened before. Usually I feel dead tired after having extended myself so much.
One of the articles I read today talked about being happy in the moment right now. It's so easy to have that forward-thinking frame of mind where I tell myself I'm just biding my time until I get married. For instance, sometimes I get all panicky thinking about how I'd like to have children and how I'm never going to get my student loans paid off in time and I'll never be able to have those kids.
WHAT kids?!
I don't even have a boyfriend, where are these kids coming from exactly?
Instead of being all freaked out about the loans and the imaginary kids, I need to embrace the fact that in 3 months I will have a JD, and a few months after that I will have (hopefully) passed the Bar and be a real attorney. If all goes well I will be working in health care law and I will be enveloped in a learning curve so steep that I will probably be a wee bit overwhelmed at times. But that's awesome! There is so much happening right now. This isn't just a green room for real life, beginning once that man wanders in on stage right. This IS real life, and if I don't embrace it, I know I'll regret it.
By the way, the crab legs were superb! I'm sorry you all couldn't come to Catfish Dewey's with us.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Yet Another Addition to the Annals of Disturbing Commercial Mascots
The Lamisil toe fungus demon/goblin. I think the most disturbing bit is when the little lime green with purple splotches thing with a Jersey accent LIFTS UP THE BIG TOENAIL and crawls underneath. Eeeek!
What is up with the advertising execs today that this seemed like a GREAT idea?
What is up with the advertising execs today that this seemed like a GREAT idea?
Friday, February 25, 2005
Various Thoughts
This time last week I was feeling so excited because of this guy and, oh my gosh, it was so sweet how he told me he was interested in getting to know me better. I just don't know if I'm feeling it anymore.
But really, what else do I have to do with my spare time? I can keep emailing him forever, or until he gets sick of my emails. Whichever comes first. I wonder if he's feeling it anymore. I should ask him, "Dude, are you feelin' it?"
Tonight we went to a family favorite - Antonio's. It's an Italian restaurant nearby and my family has been going there since before I was born. In fact, a waitress there used to dote on me when I was a baby. Then she had her own baby and stopped working there, but my parents heard later that she named the baby Kelly after me. So somewhere there's a 27 year-old named after me. That's weird to think about sometimes.
I highly recommend Antonio's for the loud Italian waitstaff and the garlic-infused rolls. We all smell like garlic in this house tonight and it's fabulous!
Sunday night is all you can eat snow crab legs and I can hardly wait! My cousin Jen and I are the reigning crab leg champions. When I was 13 and she was 15 we ate my grandpa and her dad under the table. Then a couple of years ago we out-ate her dad again (my grandpa passed away in the interim. I have to give Papaw props for teaching me all I know. When I was very small he used to crack my crab legs for me and let his own dinner get cold. That's love, people. We take our seafood very seriously in my family). So the plan is, no eating until Sunday night. And they can keep their french fries and cole slaw. I'm onto them. They want me to fill up on starchy crap, but I don't think so. I'm here for the crab legs!
But really, what else do I have to do with my spare time? I can keep emailing him forever, or until he gets sick of my emails. Whichever comes first. I wonder if he's feeling it anymore. I should ask him, "Dude, are you feelin' it?"
Tonight we went to a family favorite - Antonio's. It's an Italian restaurant nearby and my family has been going there since before I was born. In fact, a waitress there used to dote on me when I was a baby. Then she had her own baby and stopped working there, but my parents heard later that she named the baby Kelly after me. So somewhere there's a 27 year-old named after me. That's weird to think about sometimes.
I highly recommend Antonio's for the loud Italian waitstaff and the garlic-infused rolls. We all smell like garlic in this house tonight and it's fabulous!
Sunday night is all you can eat snow crab legs and I can hardly wait! My cousin Jen and I are the reigning crab leg champions. When I was 13 and she was 15 we ate my grandpa and her dad under the table. Then a couple of years ago we out-ate her dad again (my grandpa passed away in the interim. I have to give Papaw props for teaching me all I know. When I was very small he used to crack my crab legs for me and let his own dinner get cold. That's love, people. We take our seafood very seriously in my family). So the plan is, no eating until Sunday night. And they can keep their french fries and cole slaw. I'm onto them. They want me to fill up on starchy crap, but I don't think so. I'm here for the crab legs!
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Sea Water Gives My Hair Volume and Bounce
Well, I've discovered the secret to reigniting the curl in my hair. When I was little I had curly hair, but it straightened into a semi-wavy state. I blow dry it straight and smooth it out with Matrix Simply Straight smoothing serum (I get no money for product endorsements. Although I feel I should, really) I actually have some random ringlets around my forehead and at the nape of my neck.
So I went to the beach today and dove in and out of the waves a bit, despite the man-o-war warnings. My take on that is, if there are three 10 year-old boys boogie boarding where the waves break and they're not intermittently screaming in agony, I figure there can't be a lot of jellyfish out there.
I let my hair air dry and now it's bouncy and curly, albeit a bit frizzy. Why can't I dip my head in the ocean every day? My hair would be so cute!
Oh and I did not kill anyone in the Suburban today. Hurrah! However, I had to do about a 7 point turn to get into the tiny little shopping center parking space so I could buy a Jamba Juice. I said several little prayers that I wouldn't scrape the teal Mitsubishi on the right side of me because I have no depth perception in that thing and know that I am at least 4 times bigger than the nearest SUV. Except for the Hummer that pulled in as I was leaving.
So I went to the beach today and dove in and out of the waves a bit, despite the man-o-war warnings. My take on that is, if there are three 10 year-old boys boogie boarding where the waves break and they're not intermittently screaming in agony, I figure there can't be a lot of jellyfish out there.
I let my hair air dry and now it's bouncy and curly, albeit a bit frizzy. Why can't I dip my head in the ocean every day? My hair would be so cute!
Oh and I did not kill anyone in the Suburban today. Hurrah! However, I had to do about a 7 point turn to get into the tiny little shopping center parking space so I could buy a Jamba Juice. I said several little prayers that I wouldn't scrape the teal Mitsubishi on the right side of me because I have no depth perception in that thing and know that I am at least 4 times bigger than the nearest SUV. Except for the Hummer that pulled in as I was leaving.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
I'm A Walking Freakshow
Since the above subject line can be interpreted in several different ways, allow me to clarify. I woke up this morning with a tiny little sunburned patch on my chest. Realizing that there was no aloe vera gel in the house and realizing that I haven't actually moved more extensively than my loop of pool-kitchen-pool-bathroom-pool-couch-pool since Sunday I thought I'd take a little walk down to KMart. I timed it as I walked and figured out that it's about a mile there. First off, except for two jogging moms with strollers who I passed I was the only person on foot. Most people driving by me looked over with a "What the...?" look on their faces. I'm going to imagine that the looks were on account of my sexy sashay (and I think that's probably the case for the landscapers and DHL delivery man who slowed down their trucks as they drove by and pointedly stared).
You don't walk in South Florida. It's just not done. Besides, how would you show off your new Beamer or Jag if you walked places, I ask you? My aunt and my grandma live 5 whole blocks apart (they're longish blocks, but still) and my grandma offered to come pick me up at my aunt's and drive me over there when I wanted to visit.
You don't walk in Tucson either, which is where I grew up. In fact, it took me about a year of living in Chicago without a car to really appreciate walking. Now I actively like to walk. One of the things that sort of worries me about moving someplace where I use my car to get from Point A to Point B all the time is that I will forget how nice it is to just take a walk. Hopefully I won't.
Because of the little sunburn, I am staying in today. My grandma just went and got a beach sticker for one of her cars so I can go to my favorite beach and not have to pay. I say car, but really I should say one of her behemoths. She and her husband Dave have a Suburban and a big mother pick-up truck. Why a couple in their sixties, one with a bad back, need two giant trucks that they need to climb into is beyond me. She got the beach sticker for the Suburban and honestly the idea of driving that thing terrifies me. I like little zippy cars. So please, say a little prayer for me that I won't kill myself or anyone else tomorrow when I hit the streets of Boca in the Suburban.
You don't walk in South Florida. It's just not done. Besides, how would you show off your new Beamer or Jag if you walked places, I ask you? My aunt and my grandma live 5 whole blocks apart (they're longish blocks, but still) and my grandma offered to come pick me up at my aunt's and drive me over there when I wanted to visit.
You don't walk in Tucson either, which is where I grew up. In fact, it took me about a year of living in Chicago without a car to really appreciate walking. Now I actively like to walk. One of the things that sort of worries me about moving someplace where I use my car to get from Point A to Point B all the time is that I will forget how nice it is to just take a walk. Hopefully I won't.
Because of the little sunburn, I am staying in today. My grandma just went and got a beach sticker for one of her cars so I can go to my favorite beach and not have to pay. I say car, but really I should say one of her behemoths. She and her husband Dave have a Suburban and a big mother pick-up truck. Why a couple in their sixties, one with a bad back, need two giant trucks that they need to climb into is beyond me. She got the beach sticker for the Suburban and honestly the idea of driving that thing terrifies me. I like little zippy cars. So please, say a little prayer for me that I won't kill myself or anyone else tomorrow when I hit the streets of Boca in the Suburban.
Worrisome
He mentioned tangentally that he was in some sort of medieval recreation group in college.
Not judging. Keeping open mind.
Not judging. Keeping open mind.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Profound Thought
Maybe we'd be good for each other. He'd curb my insanity when I need it, and I'd rock him out a little (in a pure Mormon sort of way, of course).
The truth is, we're exchanging emails (no, he's NOT from an online site) because it seems like a good way to get to know each other. I think I might suggest phone calls because even with little smiley faces, email can be very one-dimensional.
For the record, I am now 125% tanner than I was when I left Boston two days ago. Since I had no access to a car today - my aunt and uncle having taken both of them to selfishly go to work - I sat out by the pool and listened to breeze rustle through the palm trees. My aunt has created a lush oasis surrounding the pool. As I lay there on my stomach, my towel covering my face (because my face always burns more quickly than the rest of me, listening to trance music on my iPod, realized that I too would someday like an oasis. It's always been my dream to have a lap-length pool, and now I am tacking on a surrounding oasis.
Thanks to the person who made the beautiful comment. And to the person who sent the scandalous email about me to Jerilyn. If your goal was to both flatter and creep me out a little, you succeeded, my friend.
The truth is, we're exchanging emails (no, he's NOT from an online site) because it seems like a good way to get to know each other. I think I might suggest phone calls because even with little smiley faces, email can be very one-dimensional.
For the record, I am now 125% tanner than I was when I left Boston two days ago. Since I had no access to a car today - my aunt and uncle having taken both of them to selfishly go to work - I sat out by the pool and listened to breeze rustle through the palm trees. My aunt has created a lush oasis surrounding the pool. As I lay there on my stomach, my towel covering my face (because my face always burns more quickly than the rest of me, listening to trance music on my iPod, realized that I too would someday like an oasis. It's always been my dream to have a lap-length pool, and now I am tacking on a surrounding oasis.
Thanks to the person who made the beautiful comment. And to the person who sent the scandalous email about me to Jerilyn. If your goal was to both flatter and creep me out a little, you succeeded, my friend.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Overanalysis Galore!
In case you don't know, I am an expert at overanalysis. And of course my best examples of overanalysis concern guys. So here's the latest:
I think he's too *good* for me. I don't mean that in the "I'm not worthy" sense, I mean that in the "I think if he knew the sexual innuendo that flies through my head and, on occasion, out of my mouth, he would be shocked and appalled" sense. I have yet to see an edge. And I think he may have made a Shakespeare allusion tonight in the same vein as someone who is a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism might. But I'm not sure, so I'm not going to judge him on that one yet.
At first, the goodness appealed to me. It still does since it's very handy to have someone around who you know you can depend on. He wasn't someone who I immediately thought, "Oh, he's cute" but he was someone who impressed me as being a genuinely good person. In the end that means infinitely more than "oh, he's cute." I thought, "This could work. I can be good too." That lasted a couple of days.
All I have to say is I hope the guy busts out with some sarcasm and something that makes me think he's less holy than I think he is or this is never going to progress past friendship.
Is it a bad thing that I want a slightly unholy guy? As a good Mormon girl shouldn't I want to be with someone who could be a Seventy someday? I think this is why I will be nice and comfy in the Terrestial Kingdom.
I think he's too *good* for me. I don't mean that in the "I'm not worthy" sense, I mean that in the "I think if he knew the sexual innuendo that flies through my head and, on occasion, out of my mouth, he would be shocked and appalled" sense. I have yet to see an edge. And I think he may have made a Shakespeare allusion tonight in the same vein as someone who is a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism might. But I'm not sure, so I'm not going to judge him on that one yet.
At first, the goodness appealed to me. It still does since it's very handy to have someone around who you know you can depend on. He wasn't someone who I immediately thought, "Oh, he's cute" but he was someone who impressed me as being a genuinely good person. In the end that means infinitely more than "oh, he's cute." I thought, "This could work. I can be good too." That lasted a couple of days.
All I have to say is I hope the guy busts out with some sarcasm and something that makes me think he's less holy than I think he is or this is never going to progress past friendship.
Is it a bad thing that I want a slightly unholy guy? As a good Mormon girl shouldn't I want to be with someone who could be a Seventy someday? I think this is why I will be nice and comfy in the Terrestial Kingdom.
The Sunshine State
I'm in Florida and it's fabulous. The weather is so lovely and I saw on the news tonight that it snowed/is snowing in Boston and really all I have to say to that is "Ha ha" in a Nelson Muntz voice. I didn't go to the beach today because it has been super windy and the last time I went to the beach on a windy day I wound up getting sandblasted. So while my skin was glowing and exfoliated, I was picking sand out of my hair for several days. It really gets in there. However, I have been in and out of the sun all day and hanging out in my swimsuit and shorts because you have to be prepared, after all. I also slept in this morning and did not set my alarm, which I haven't done in weeks.
My aunt and uncle remodeled their house and I told them it's like staying at the Hotel Bloom. Just yesterday I read something about Greece and thought once again how much I want to go there someday. Watching the Olympics made me long to go there, with the blue blue ocean and sky and the white buildings. I walked into the newly redone guest room here and guess what the color scheme is? Blue and white. So peaceful.
And as for the guy, we're talking. We'll see what happens.
My aunt and uncle remodeled their house and I told them it's like staying at the Hotel Bloom. Just yesterday I read something about Greece and thought once again how much I want to go there someday. Watching the Olympics made me long to go there, with the blue blue ocean and sky and the white buildings. I walked into the newly redone guest room here and guess what the color scheme is? Blue and white. So peaceful.
And as for the guy, we're talking. We'll see what happens.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
I Can't Live Up To This Sort of Pressure
So there's this guy, right? He seems to think I'm pretty cool. He says I have grace. But I wonder if he has the wrong impression of me. Maybe he has the "Kelly looks so sweet" impression of me that leaves people shocked and appalled when I use sarcasm or tell them I like the Pixies or see things through the lens of sexual euphemism. Apparently I just don't look like that type of girl. What concerns me a bit is he seems like a super nice, quality guy. But is that all, or is there more than meets the eye (like me)? I'm hoping that maybe he has a bit of an edge that I haven't seen yet. I know a few of his friends wield sarcasm expertly so I'm thinking there may be an edgy piece to him.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Today's Post Is Brought To You By the Letter F
F is for...
Florida
Family
Fun
Fabulous Tan
Ok, that last one isn't strictly an F, I admit it, but I'm excited. In only 3 days I take off for sunny southeast Florida for my Spring Break. Florida is the place to be. Of the 5 people I've asked about their plans today, 5 of them have said they're going to Florida. According to the weather people at least the beginning of the week will be warm and sunny. I have a paper to finish so I'll use those cloudy blechy days for that. Hooray! Let's hear it for Florida and the beach and the sun and warmth! I'm hoping that the man-of-wars are at a minimum this year and I'll actually be able to go snorkling. Last year there were too many for good snorkling.
Speaking of which. Scariest experience of my life: One summer day I went to the beach to watch the sunrise and take some pictures. About an hour after the sun came up, I decided to swim out to the reef to snorkle a bit. Bear in mind, I was the only one on the beach, but I'm a strong swimmer so this didn't phase me. I swam out and as I reached the reef I saw this large (probably about 4 feet long) barracuda just hovering over the reef. Barracuda have a reputation of being very aggressive (think Finding Nemo. You know the big ugly fish that eats the mom and all the babies? That's a barracuda). I had never seen one that big that close to shore. Floating nearby were three or four man-of-wars. I have never been stung by one and I really didn't want this to be my first time, especially since I was the only one on the beach. I turned around quickly and started swimming back only to almost run head-first into another man-of-war. How it's tentacles didn't get me I will never know. I literally started praying to just be able to get back into shore. I made it, my heart pounding like crazy. Needless to say, I didn't go back in the water that morning and when more people showed up I told them about the jellyfish.
This is the beach I usually go to:
I can't wait!
Florida
Family
Fun
Fabulous Tan
Ok, that last one isn't strictly an F, I admit it, but I'm excited. In only 3 days I take off for sunny southeast Florida for my Spring Break. Florida is the place to be. Of the 5 people I've asked about their plans today, 5 of them have said they're going to Florida. According to the weather people at least the beginning of the week will be warm and sunny. I have a paper to finish so I'll use those cloudy blechy days for that. Hooray! Let's hear it for Florida and the beach and the sun and warmth! I'm hoping that the man-of-wars are at a minimum this year and I'll actually be able to go snorkling. Last year there were too many for good snorkling.
Speaking of which. Scariest experience of my life: One summer day I went to the beach to watch the sunrise and take some pictures. About an hour after the sun came up, I decided to swim out to the reef to snorkle a bit. Bear in mind, I was the only one on the beach, but I'm a strong swimmer so this didn't phase me. I swam out and as I reached the reef I saw this large (probably about 4 feet long) barracuda just hovering over the reef. Barracuda have a reputation of being very aggressive (think Finding Nemo. You know the big ugly fish that eats the mom and all the babies? That's a barracuda). I had never seen one that big that close to shore. Floating nearby were three or four man-of-wars. I have never been stung by one and I really didn't want this to be my first time, especially since I was the only one on the beach. I turned around quickly and started swimming back only to almost run head-first into another man-of-war. How it's tentacles didn't get me I will never know. I literally started praying to just be able to get back into shore. I made it, my heart pounding like crazy. Needless to say, I didn't go back in the water that morning and when more people showed up I told them about the jellyfish.
This is the beach I usually go to:
I can't wait!
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Another Addition to the Annals of Disturbing Commercial Mascots
A pink, living, breathing, walking, talking colon polyp. Oh yes. A grown man dressed up as a colon polyp. I didn't catch what the commercial was for; I think it may have been for colon cancer awareness. However, I find that the educational message gets lost when your audience is staring, mouth agape, at the horror that is the mascot.
Chocolate Cake
I just have to share my torture. The health care partner's birthday is today and they bought him this fabulous chocolate mousse cake. How do I know it's fabulous? Because it's the exact same cake they bought me for my birthday last year. But I am strong, I can resist.
How To Blog
I'm at work, to which you might say "Shouldn't you be working?" to which I might respond, "Shut up. Like you've never surfed the web at work." I figure I have a good hour or so per work day for all those cigarette and coffee breaks I don't take.*
So I found this today telling me how to blog. Well, obviously I've messed up #5 - if my friends and my family didn't read I'd have like 5 whole hits a day. I want to feel popular. However, it does put a damper on really spilling my guts online if I happen to be annoyed at say, my mom, or one of the Jen/Jenns. (I'm not annoyed at you, guys! It's called an example) I have managed to talk about religion and politics, though, per #13, and I've even managed to talk about sex a bit, although granted it's toned-down Mormon single girl sex talk. Maybe I should just throw in the word penis now and then for good measure so you all feel like you're getting your money's worth. I'm also not following #14, but I like my little weather girl. As long as she's not naked when it's 90 degrees out. Although that may get me more hits and make me feel popular. Hmmm. Well I'll make that decision when I reach that moral crossroads. And as for #4, I don't cuss in real life so writing that way isn't really me and I want the blog to be honest, after all.
* For the record I've been researching something incredibly frustrating for the past 2 hours and needed a little break.
So I found this today telling me how to blog. Well, obviously I've messed up #5 - if my friends and my family didn't read I'd have like 5 whole hits a day. I want to feel popular. However, it does put a damper on really spilling my guts online if I happen to be annoyed at say, my mom, or one of the Jen/Jenns. (I'm not annoyed at you, guys! It's called an example) I have managed to talk about religion and politics, though, per #13, and I've even managed to talk about sex a bit, although granted it's toned-down Mormon single girl sex talk. Maybe I should just throw in the word penis now and then for good measure so you all feel like you're getting your money's worth. I'm also not following #14, but I like my little weather girl. As long as she's not naked when it's 90 degrees out. Although that may get me more hits and make me feel popular. Hmmm. Well I'll make that decision when I reach that moral crossroads. And as for #4, I don't cuss in real life so writing that way isn't really me and I want the blog to be honest, after all.
* For the record I've been researching something incredibly frustrating for the past 2 hours and needed a little break.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Party Planning
Does anyone know what happened on Gilmore Girls tonight? My TV got commandeered by the Westminster Dog Show contingent in my apartment. I like watching the dogs too, but I would have liked it better if I could have figured out how to make the VCR tape one channel while we watched another. We just got digital cable and I haven't figured that out yet. I tried right before the dog show started and tried every combination of cords and plugs that I could think of, but I couldn't make it work. I'm usually pretty savvy with the whole VCR thing - I've never had a VCR I couldn't program. I'll have to give it another try after the dog show ends.
So I'm organizing this Advocacy Banquet, right? Last year we had the banquet at this fancy hotel downtown and it was a very nice affair. A few weeks ago I started calling around for venues and arranging to meet with people in the Alumni Office and the Dean's office to get the ball rolling. The ball is currently at a standstill.
First, I met with a woman in the Alumni Office who made it pretty clear that the banquet is not a priority for them. I had tried for 2 weeks to meet with her and we finally got a time we could both meet. I told her exactly what I needed: a budget number. The guy in the Alumni Office who worked with us last year no longer works for BC so I told this woman that he had previously told us what the budget would be and that's why I was coming to see her. To get the budget number. So I go in and sit down in her office and she asks how much we spent last year and I tell her and she says "Weeellll, I'll have to check with {insert name} and come up with a number for you."
Huh?
That was the reason I came to see her and she didn't have it. Then she asks me why it costs so much and why we have it at the fancy hotel. I told her it was my understanding that it was a nice event and alumni were encouraged to come, etc. She looked skeptical and said, "Well, I heard last year only 4 alums came." I really don't know if this is true or not, but I got the impression that she thinks this is a frivolous event. She told me she would check on the budget and be in touch. I haven't heard from her yet and just emailed her again. I feel blown off.
Then I met with someone in the Dean's office who helps us get details arranged like invitations and programs. While we were talking, the Dean of Students came in and told me to hold off on making any plans because the budget may be less than last year. She would be meeting with all the deans the next day and would know more after that. Come to find out, because there are two new moot court teams this year, we have $8,000 or so less than last year. However, despite several emails I still have no concrete budget number.
In the meantime, the fancy hotel we had the banquet at last year is sort of holding a room for us and the rep is willing to work with us once I have a concrete number. But I can't do ANYthing until I have a budget.
The bummer is, both the lady in the Alumni Office and the Dean of Students office suggested we have it in the Snack Bar. The Snack Bar is this big common area with couches and tables and chairs. It was refurbished last year, but it is soooo not a nice venue at all. This morning in the shower I was thinking, 'Well, maybe we could get some tulle and nice flower arrangements and make it decent..." Yeah, no. Tacky tacky tacky. And the walls are this institutional lemon yellow. What am I supposed to do with that?
Also, I think I may have to ask for a committee to get everything organized. Adrienne, the girl who organized it last year, did it all on her own, but A) she had a budget (that's key), and B) she already had a job and wasn't job hunting right now too in addition to working and going to class.
Anyway, this is just stressing me out because I want us to have a nice event and feel like no one in the administration really gives a crap. Grrrr.
Did I mention they get $30,000 a year from every single one of the 850 or so students? It's such a racket. I think they can cough up $12,000 for a banquet.
So I'm organizing this Advocacy Banquet, right? Last year we had the banquet at this fancy hotel downtown and it was a very nice affair. A few weeks ago I started calling around for venues and arranging to meet with people in the Alumni Office and the Dean's office to get the ball rolling. The ball is currently at a standstill.
First, I met with a woman in the Alumni Office who made it pretty clear that the banquet is not a priority for them. I had tried for 2 weeks to meet with her and we finally got a time we could both meet. I told her exactly what I needed: a budget number. The guy in the Alumni Office who worked with us last year no longer works for BC so I told this woman that he had previously told us what the budget would be and that's why I was coming to see her. To get the budget number. So I go in and sit down in her office and she asks how much we spent last year and I tell her and she says "Weeellll, I'll have to check with {insert name} and come up with a number for you."
Huh?
That was the reason I came to see her and she didn't have it. Then she asks me why it costs so much and why we have it at the fancy hotel. I told her it was my understanding that it was a nice event and alumni were encouraged to come, etc. She looked skeptical and said, "Well, I heard last year only 4 alums came." I really don't know if this is true or not, but I got the impression that she thinks this is a frivolous event. She told me she would check on the budget and be in touch. I haven't heard from her yet and just emailed her again. I feel blown off.
Then I met with someone in the Dean's office who helps us get details arranged like invitations and programs. While we were talking, the Dean of Students came in and told me to hold off on making any plans because the budget may be less than last year. She would be meeting with all the deans the next day and would know more after that. Come to find out, because there are two new moot court teams this year, we have $8,000 or so less than last year. However, despite several emails I still have no concrete budget number.
In the meantime, the fancy hotel we had the banquet at last year is sort of holding a room for us and the rep is willing to work with us once I have a concrete number. But I can't do ANYthing until I have a budget.
The bummer is, both the lady in the Alumni Office and the Dean of Students office suggested we have it in the Snack Bar. The Snack Bar is this big common area with couches and tables and chairs. It was refurbished last year, but it is soooo not a nice venue at all. This morning in the shower I was thinking, 'Well, maybe we could get some tulle and nice flower arrangements and make it decent..." Yeah, no. Tacky tacky tacky. And the walls are this institutional lemon yellow. What am I supposed to do with that?
Also, I think I may have to ask for a committee to get everything organized. Adrienne, the girl who organized it last year, did it all on her own, but A) she had a budget (that's key), and B) she already had a job and wasn't job hunting right now too in addition to working and going to class.
Anyway, this is just stressing me out because I want us to have a nice event and feel like no one in the administration really gives a crap. Grrrr.
Did I mention they get $30,000 a year from every single one of the 850 or so students? It's such a racket. I think they can cough up $12,000 for a banquet.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Back in Boston
Yep, I'm back. I drove 9 1/2 hours today and have class in about 40 minutes. Whoopty do. You'd think I would skip class, but I actually missed it once already because of the blizzard and Boston College's sadistic Jesuit ethic that only allowed the school to be closed for 1/2 a day after we had 3 feet of snow. Classes went on, but I couldn't actually get out of my neighborhood. Since the class only meets once a week, I figure I shouldn't miss it more than once this semester.
Anyway, the rest of the whirlwind DC weekend:
Sunday I went to Colonial 2nd ward (and was apparently in Relief Society 2. Does anyone else think rather than splitting Colonial into 2 wards they should have split it into 3 or 4 wards?) I enjoyed it, but of course it doesn't feel as homey as Longfellow Park 2nd here in Boston. I'm encouraged by the fact that Kristina and several of her friends love their bishop. Bishops do so much in setting the tone of the ward, whether it's welcoming or not. One of my friends from Boston taught Sunday School so of course I went and participated. I think Sunday School teacher is such a thankless job. People seem much more reticent about talking in Sunday School than in Relief Society (and I'm just going to take a guess that the guys talk more in Elders Quorum).
Last night Kristina made dinner and 3 of her friends came over, including a woman who is an attorney. We talked law and job market for awhile and she enthusiastically endorsed being in DC. She went to law school there and has worked there for a few years. All of us had a great time. I don't think I've laughed so much in awhile.
So that's the DC weekend and after driving back up here (and paying WAY too much for tolls in the process. One toll was $6. $6!!!), I feel like I may be done in New England. When I returned to Chicago after visiting law schools in Boston in April of 2002 I had this very definite feeling that my time in Chicago was complete.
Oh, and Splurge Day is going to be much more tame next month. After several Krispy Kremes, a piece of cheesecake, a few Fun Size Butterfingers, and a homemade chocolate mousse I felt pretty low by the time I went to bed last night.
I have a feeling if I do move down to DC my Southern accent is going to return with a vengeance. We lived in Tennessee when I was ages 2-6, which are pretty formative language years so I moved to Tucson with a definite drawl. One of Kristina's friends is from Virginia and her roommate is from Texas, and after spending some time with them I really had to concentrate when I spoke to keep from drawling my words.
Anyway, the rest of the whirlwind DC weekend:
Sunday I went to Colonial 2nd ward (and was apparently in Relief Society 2. Does anyone else think rather than splitting Colonial into 2 wards they should have split it into 3 or 4 wards?) I enjoyed it, but of course it doesn't feel as homey as Longfellow Park 2nd here in Boston. I'm encouraged by the fact that Kristina and several of her friends love their bishop. Bishops do so much in setting the tone of the ward, whether it's welcoming or not. One of my friends from Boston taught Sunday School so of course I went and participated. I think Sunday School teacher is such a thankless job. People seem much more reticent about talking in Sunday School than in Relief Society (and I'm just going to take a guess that the guys talk more in Elders Quorum).
Last night Kristina made dinner and 3 of her friends came over, including a woman who is an attorney. We talked law and job market for awhile and she enthusiastically endorsed being in DC. She went to law school there and has worked there for a few years. All of us had a great time. I don't think I've laughed so much in awhile.
So that's the DC weekend and after driving back up here (and paying WAY too much for tolls in the process. One toll was $6. $6!!!), I feel like I may be done in New England. When I returned to Chicago after visiting law schools in Boston in April of 2002 I had this very definite feeling that my time in Chicago was complete.
Oh, and Splurge Day is going to be much more tame next month. After several Krispy Kremes, a piece of cheesecake, a few Fun Size Butterfingers, and a homemade chocolate mousse I felt pretty low by the time I went to bed last night.
I have a feeling if I do move down to DC my Southern accent is going to return with a vengeance. We lived in Tennessee when I was ages 2-6, which are pretty formative language years so I moved to Tucson with a definite drawl. One of Kristina's friends is from Virginia and her roommate is from Texas, and after spending some time with them I really had to concentrate when I spoke to keep from drawling my words.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
LIVE from Washington, DC!
Actually, it's Arlington, VA, but close enough. According to my old roommate who I'm staying with Arlington used to be part of DC, but they gave it back to Virginia, which is why the diamond of DC is actually a 3-sided diamond with a chunk taken out of the southwest side. And I'm really hoping for a Trivial Pursuit question about that in the near future because I could just wow everyone.
So here I am, trying to decide what to do with my life. Not to jumpt the gun, but I think I'm probably going to move down here (there are enough qualifiers in that sentence that if I actually don't move, no one can say I lied).
I got here Thursday night and went out with Kristina for steak quesadillas at Chili's while Kristina gave me the low-down on some friends of ours from Chicago who she saw over Christmas. Apparently a friend's 32 year old brother married some 20 year old harpy who wouldn't let him see his family on Christmas. Fun fun.
Friday I drove up to Baltimore to go to a job fair where Health and Human Services had a booth so I could talk to someone and apply for a position with this program they have. Yeah, an hour drive in rush hour traffic so some lady could hand me a blue piece of paper with an extra-special code on it that allows me to go to the website and apply. I have to apply soon though since the code expires on the 16th. Weird.
So I drove back to Kristina's house and took the bus and the train into DC. Monuments thrill me in the weirdest way. The bus stopped at The Pentagon, which is where I caught the train and I was all, "Ooooo, it's The Pentagon. The Pentagon!" Lots of uniforms and men holding AK-47s watching me walk by. I smiled at them and tried to put a little swing in my step to brighten their day. Whatever, it's The Pentagon. And off in the distance: The Washington Monument and The Capitol.
I had an interview at the General Counsel's office in the Department of Health and Human Services (networking works, people!). Thrilling! And guess what? They liked me. A lot. I met with two attorneys first and we had a good repoire going, talking all about health care and what they do in the GC's office. Then they said they wanted me to talk to someone else, which means I got bumped up to the next level. I went to go talk with the Acting Associate Deputy General Counsel (or some such long title). One of the attorneys showed me in and handed him my resume saying "This is Kelly. Mark and I just met with her and we like her a lot." (Hooray!) The problem, as the higher-up told me: they have no money to hire someone right now. However, there's a bit of hope. First of all, they may get more funding. He said they are super-busy and could use another person. Second, if I get into the program I drove up to Baltimore for, I could get into the GC's office. The program rotates you through different sections of HHS and he said that if I rotate into the GC, then they can keep me.
Regardless, I interviewed at HHS and they liked me! Honestly, that gives me such a nice little ego boost that is going to follow me around as I continue my job search. I was in there talkin' the talk, all HIPAA this and Stark that. Oh yeah, I know my health care legislation.
Yes, I realize I'm a total dork.
Kristina has kept my social calendar hopping. Last night we went to a CD launch party and then to a gathering at the house of a friend of hers (and apparently some guy there told her he thinks I'm cute. DC is just turning into the ego-stroking town for me). To emphasize the smallness of the Mormon world, we ran into a girl there who we knew in Chicago. She's out here visiting her sister.
Today we slept in and then went to the DC temple, which was nice. There was a dinner at the church tonight where the Elders Quorum served the Relief Society. I saw two girls there who I know from Boston AND met a girl who was college roommates with a friend of mine from Chicago. The men, and a couple women, put on a floor show that honestly was just painful in parts. I don't know about you, but I just get embarrassed for people. After dinner we watched The Wedding Singer at another friend's house.
Oh and FYI, tomorrow is my sugar splurge day. This guy Craig, who had the party Friday night, foisted food onto us, including a couple pieces of cheesecake. I really can't be expected to turn down cheesecake, it's just not in me. And I get to eat the Butterfinger that my roommate Angie bought for me for my trip before she remembered I'm off sugar because they were on sale and she knows I love Butterfingers. Bonus.
So all in all, DC has been fun. It's very very different from Boston. I have to keep telling myself that and assessing it with a different perspective. Like I know I won't be able to walk everywhere here like I do in Cambridge and Boston. It's just not set up that way, unless I could somehow afford to live in Georgetown or somewhere like that. However, the roads are wide and make a bit more sense than Boston's roads. There are a ton of trees here with no leaves so I know it's going to be lush and green in the summer and gorgeous in the autumn. One thing I noticed, driving down I-95. The further south I got, the nicer people got. I do appreciate that.
Tomorrow is the assessment of church and then Kristina is throwing a dinner party so I can meet some more people, including one woman who has been a lawyer down here for a couple of years. Good night.
So here I am, trying to decide what to do with my life. Not to jumpt the gun, but I think I'm probably going to move down here (there are enough qualifiers in that sentence that if I actually don't move, no one can say I lied).
I got here Thursday night and went out with Kristina for steak quesadillas at Chili's while Kristina gave me the low-down on some friends of ours from Chicago who she saw over Christmas. Apparently a friend's 32 year old brother married some 20 year old harpy who wouldn't let him see his family on Christmas. Fun fun.
Friday I drove up to Baltimore to go to a job fair where Health and Human Services had a booth so I could talk to someone and apply for a position with this program they have. Yeah, an hour drive in rush hour traffic so some lady could hand me a blue piece of paper with an extra-special code on it that allows me to go to the website and apply. I have to apply soon though since the code expires on the 16th. Weird.
So I drove back to Kristina's house and took the bus and the train into DC. Monuments thrill me in the weirdest way. The bus stopped at The Pentagon, which is where I caught the train and I was all, "Ooooo, it's The Pentagon. The Pentagon!" Lots of uniforms and men holding AK-47s watching me walk by. I smiled at them and tried to put a little swing in my step to brighten their day. Whatever, it's The Pentagon. And off in the distance: The Washington Monument and The Capitol.
I had an interview at the General Counsel's office in the Department of Health and Human Services (networking works, people!). Thrilling! And guess what? They liked me. A lot. I met with two attorneys first and we had a good repoire going, talking all about health care and what they do in the GC's office. Then they said they wanted me to talk to someone else, which means I got bumped up to the next level. I went to go talk with the Acting Associate Deputy General Counsel (or some such long title). One of the attorneys showed me in and handed him my resume saying "This is Kelly. Mark and I just met with her and we like her a lot." (Hooray!) The problem, as the higher-up told me: they have no money to hire someone right now. However, there's a bit of hope. First of all, they may get more funding. He said they are super-busy and could use another person. Second, if I get into the program I drove up to Baltimore for, I could get into the GC's office. The program rotates you through different sections of HHS and he said that if I rotate into the GC, then they can keep me.
Regardless, I interviewed at HHS and they liked me! Honestly, that gives me such a nice little ego boost that is going to follow me around as I continue my job search. I was in there talkin' the talk, all HIPAA this and Stark that. Oh yeah, I know my health care legislation.
Yes, I realize I'm a total dork.
Kristina has kept my social calendar hopping. Last night we went to a CD launch party and then to a gathering at the house of a friend of hers (and apparently some guy there told her he thinks I'm cute. DC is just turning into the ego-stroking town for me). To emphasize the smallness of the Mormon world, we ran into a girl there who we knew in Chicago. She's out here visiting her sister.
Today we slept in and then went to the DC temple, which was nice. There was a dinner at the church tonight where the Elders Quorum served the Relief Society. I saw two girls there who I know from Boston AND met a girl who was college roommates with a friend of mine from Chicago. The men, and a couple women, put on a floor show that honestly was just painful in parts. I don't know about you, but I just get embarrassed for people. After dinner we watched The Wedding Singer at another friend's house.
Oh and FYI, tomorrow is my sugar splurge day. This guy Craig, who had the party Friday night, foisted food onto us, including a couple pieces of cheesecake. I really can't be expected to turn down cheesecake, it's just not in me. And I get to eat the Butterfinger that my roommate Angie bought for me for my trip before she remembered I'm off sugar because they were on sale and she knows I love Butterfingers. Bonus.
So all in all, DC has been fun. It's very very different from Boston. I have to keep telling myself that and assessing it with a different perspective. Like I know I won't be able to walk everywhere here like I do in Cambridge and Boston. It's just not set up that way, unless I could somehow afford to live in Georgetown or somewhere like that. However, the roads are wide and make a bit more sense than Boston's roads. There are a ton of trees here with no leaves so I know it's going to be lush and green in the summer and gorgeous in the autumn. One thing I noticed, driving down I-95. The further south I got, the nicer people got. I do appreciate that.
Tomorrow is the assessment of church and then Kristina is throwing a dinner party so I can meet some more people, including one woman who has been a lawyer down here for a couple of years. Good night.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
New Word
Today while IMing with a friend a slight typo resulted in the word "shicked." Obviously a bad word.
Proper usage:
Wow, she's totally shicked!
That really shicks me off!
I'll be shicked!
Feel free to use. My gift to the English language
Note: has anyone else besides Allen noticed that my weather girl appears in various stages of dress depending on the weather? Since it's in the 50's today and she's only in a T-shirt and pants, I'm wondering if she'll be completely naked by the time it's 90 and muggy.
Proper usage:
Wow, she's totally shicked!
That really shicks me off!
I'll be shicked!
Feel free to use. My gift to the English language
Note: has anyone else besides Allen noticed that my weather girl appears in various stages of dress depending on the weather? Since it's in the 50's today and she's only in a T-shirt and pants, I'm wondering if she'll be completely naked by the time it's 90 and muggy.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
One Woman Weather System
Sigh. The weather people are saying that more snow is coming Wednesday night through Thursday night. This wouldn't be such a big deal, other than being kind of a pain in the butt, except that Thursday morning bright and early I am supposed to be driving down to DC ideally to have life-changing experiences showing me whether or not I should move down there and/or launching my health law career as I head toward my ultimate goal of Health Czar (thanks for that one, Doug).
Anyway, the point is, I do not need snow and rain and ice all the way down I-95.
This is not the first time my travel plans have been befuddled by weather. Oh no. Just this last Thanksgiving I drove to Ohio and this windy, foggy, wet storm stayed with me the entire way. Across Massachusetts, Connecticut, a smidgen of New York, Pennsylvania, and half of Ohio I could see no more than 50 feet in front of my front bumper at any given time. I made it, though. It only took me 3 hours longer than I had planned.
The summer after I graduated from college I spent a month in Florida toodling around with my grandma. We went to Orlando for my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary party, up to St. Augustine to visit another aunt and uncle, and down to Key West just because I had never been to Key West. (Note: before I leave New England I really want to drive to the northern end of US 1 in Maine, having taken a picture of the southern end that summer after college). To give you an idea of how our travels went weather-wise, a virtual inland hurricane threatened to rain out Tom and Melba's anniversary party. I felt the need to apologize. That same storm cloud followed us up to St. Augustine and then continued on down the coast and out to Key West with us. My grandma said she expected it. Every time I visit her in Florida a storm moves in to greet my plane.
My roommate Angie suggested that I advertise and rent myself out to farmers experiencing drought. Might be a way to pay off those student loans.
Anyway, the point is, I do not need snow and rain and ice all the way down I-95.
This is not the first time my travel plans have been befuddled by weather. Oh no. Just this last Thanksgiving I drove to Ohio and this windy, foggy, wet storm stayed with me the entire way. Across Massachusetts, Connecticut, a smidgen of New York, Pennsylvania, and half of Ohio I could see no more than 50 feet in front of my front bumper at any given time. I made it, though. It only took me 3 hours longer than I had planned.
The summer after I graduated from college I spent a month in Florida toodling around with my grandma. We went to Orlando for my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary party, up to St. Augustine to visit another aunt and uncle, and down to Key West just because I had never been to Key West. (Note: before I leave New England I really want to drive to the northern end of US 1 in Maine, having taken a picture of the southern end that summer after college). To give you an idea of how our travels went weather-wise, a virtual inland hurricane threatened to rain out Tom and Melba's anniversary party. I felt the need to apologize. That same storm cloud followed us up to St. Augustine and then continued on down the coast and out to Key West with us. My grandma said she expected it. Every time I visit her in Florida a storm moves in to greet my plane.
My roommate Angie suggested that I advertise and rent myself out to farmers experiencing drought. Might be a way to pay off those student loans.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Fashion Police
I admit to a fair amount of fashion missteps in my life. However, today I was on the T and a guy - a pretty cute guy actually - got on at Kendall wearing a bright kelly green sweater with electric blue dolphins worked into the pattern. Since he got on at Kendall, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's an MIT student with lofty theorems and/or formulas on his mind.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Melt My Heart
This is my "niece" Marlee.
For those of you who missed her picture before, the reason why niece is in quotes is because I'm not really her mom's sister. Beckie and I look a lot alike, though, and everyone thinks we're sisters. In fact, there's a picture of the two of us at her bridal shower and it took both of us a couple of moments to figure out who was who. So I get to be Aunt Kelly.
I can't tell you how much I love this little baby. My mom is Marlee's surrogate grandma, and always gushes to Beckie that Marlee looks a lot like I did as a baby. I imagine that if I ever do have kids that maybe, maybe they'll be as cute as Marlee (I'll have to be really good and pay my tithing, etc.)
I learned how to knit a couple of years ago so when Marlee was very small I tried my hand at a baby blanket. It was soft and fluffy and sea green. Beckie told me over Christmas that they usually keep the blanket draped over one side of her crib. Whenever she wakes up and fusses a little bit before going back to sleep, apparently she pulls the blanket down and snuggles up with it. It's her security blanket. All together now - Awwwwww!
Smiley Baby
For those of you who missed her picture before, the reason why niece is in quotes is because I'm not really her mom's sister. Beckie and I look a lot alike, though, and everyone thinks we're sisters. In fact, there's a picture of the two of us at her bridal shower and it took both of us a couple of moments to figure out who was who. So I get to be Aunt Kelly.
I can't tell you how much I love this little baby. My mom is Marlee's surrogate grandma, and always gushes to Beckie that Marlee looks a lot like I did as a baby. I imagine that if I ever do have kids that maybe, maybe they'll be as cute as Marlee (I'll have to be really good and pay my tithing, etc.)
I learned how to knit a couple of years ago so when Marlee was very small I tried my hand at a baby blanket. It was soft and fluffy and sea green. Beckie told me over Christmas that they usually keep the blanket draped over one side of her crib. Whenever she wakes up and fusses a little bit before going back to sleep, apparently she pulls the blanket down and snuggles up with it. It's her security blanket. All together now - Awwwwww!
Smiley Baby
Thursday, February 03, 2005
More Men and Women
I was talking with a friend about this a week or so ago and he said I should post it because he'd be interested in what other people, particularly other guys, have to say. So, here you go, guys. This one's for you (not to exclude the ladies. You can respond too. In fact, I encourage it. In fact, I encourage everyone to respond.)
Here are the irrational questions that go through my head: Aren't there ANY men out there who want a woman with a figure?! Why is it that woman and old men think I'm gorgeous, but to any guy in my age bracket I am utterly forgettable?!
Here are the more logical thoughts that come from these questions as I really think about attraction and society as a whole:
A couple of years ago I watched a movie from the late 50s/early 60s at a friend's house. One of the side stories involved an affair that the boss was having with his voluptuous secretary. And I mean way voluptuous. Honestly, I think this woman was probably a size 16 at least. Big boobs, of course, tiny waist, very large hips and behind. The thing is, all the men in the office completely drooled over her. They envied the boss because she was with him.
So what was that, 40 years ago? Nowadays that actress would be the fat lady comic relief. Lately it seems like the new ideal is the super-athletic, minimal to no body fat, small-breasted woman.
Now I know there have been lots of articles written about how the media has molded our little brains into liking whatever it tells us to, but I am interested in the man on the street's perspective on this. Are most men turned off by what used to be considered attractive, or do little waists, wide hips, and more than A cup breasts still do it for them?
Speaking as a card-carrying member of the Chubby Girl Brigade, I recognize that my interest in this is not completely unbiased. But I am also interested in it from a sociological perspective. For thousands of years the .7 hip to waist ratio was the ideal, and the rounded, fertile-looking woman was considered the most attractive. In only 40-60 years that has changed dramatically (maybe a bit longer. The flapper may have started it all).
I also realize I'm asking for vast generalizations here, but I am interested in the individual male perspective.
(And if my friend who I was talking to about this thinks that I left anything out, please let me know)
Here are the irrational questions that go through my head: Aren't there ANY men out there who want a woman with a figure?! Why is it that woman and old men think I'm gorgeous, but to any guy in my age bracket I am utterly forgettable?!
Here are the more logical thoughts that come from these questions as I really think about attraction and society as a whole:
A couple of years ago I watched a movie from the late 50s/early 60s at a friend's house. One of the side stories involved an affair that the boss was having with his voluptuous secretary. And I mean way voluptuous. Honestly, I think this woman was probably a size 16 at least. Big boobs, of course, tiny waist, very large hips and behind. The thing is, all the men in the office completely drooled over her. They envied the boss because she was with him.
So what was that, 40 years ago? Nowadays that actress would be the fat lady comic relief. Lately it seems like the new ideal is the super-athletic, minimal to no body fat, small-breasted woman.
Now I know there have been lots of articles written about how the media has molded our little brains into liking whatever it tells us to, but I am interested in the man on the street's perspective on this. Are most men turned off by what used to be considered attractive, or do little waists, wide hips, and more than A cup breasts still do it for them?
Speaking as a card-carrying member of the Chubby Girl Brigade, I recognize that my interest in this is not completely unbiased. But I am also interested in it from a sociological perspective. For thousands of years the .7 hip to waist ratio was the ideal, and the rounded, fertile-looking woman was considered the most attractive. In only 40-60 years that has changed dramatically (maybe a bit longer. The flapper may have started it all).
I also realize I'm asking for vast generalizations here, but I am interested in the individual male perspective.
(And if my friend who I was talking to about this thinks that I left anything out, please let me know)
Oh the Humanity!
Guess what was in my hotmail inbox this morning? A nice little email from Betty Crocker with about 50 recipes for chocolate cake, including a dark chocolate cake with raspberry sauce. Mmmmmmmmm.
But no. I feel better when I don't eat sugar. I feel better when I don't eat sugar.
Or, rather, I will be a busy little chef on my splurge day.
But no. I feel better when I don't eat sugar. I feel better when I don't eat sugar.
Or, rather, I will be a busy little chef on my splurge day.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Freakin' Fertility
Apparently I have reached the age where every single one of my friends is popping out a kid or two or three.
OK, that's not exactly true. I do have some friends with no kids. But I just got a note and picture from a college friend saying that they'll be trying for their third this summer. I found out today my boss is pregnant. Jen in Berkeley should be presenting us with Baby Boy any time now. It's all just madness!
So part of me is really envious. Not only do I not have a boyfriend, but now I feel like I'm really not doing it right as my fertility ekes away with every passing year (or month, if you want to be all graphic). That biological clock is tick tiCK TICKing away.
The other part of me is thinking, I can't have kids yet, are you crazy? I am soooooo not mature enough for that.
A friend of mine at school told me that he thinks it would just be tragic if I don't have kids because he thinks I'm a very motherly person. I'm not exactly sure how to take that because it brings beaded and muu-muued earth mother pictures to my mind, which are guaranteed to keep the boys away.
OK, that's not exactly true. I do have some friends with no kids. But I just got a note and picture from a college friend saying that they'll be trying for their third this summer. I found out today my boss is pregnant. Jen in Berkeley should be presenting us with Baby Boy any time now. It's all just madness!
So part of me is really envious. Not only do I not have a boyfriend, but now I feel like I'm really not doing it right as my fertility ekes away with every passing year (or month, if you want to be all graphic). That biological clock is tick tiCK TICKing away.
The other part of me is thinking, I can't have kids yet, are you crazy? I am soooooo not mature enough for that.
A friend of mine at school told me that he thinks it would just be tragic if I don't have kids because he thinks I'm a very motherly person. I'm not exactly sure how to take that because it brings beaded and muu-muued earth mother pictures to my mind, which are guaranteed to keep the boys away.
Maybe as I become more and more selfish, then I'll be more attractive. Guys? Thoughts? Isn't it the super high-maintenance, selfish women who always have guys trailing after them?
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Healthy Eating
Rather than post a big long comment to Elizabeth at the end of my last post about the parameters of my food plan, I thought I'd just outline it in a new post. This is my own personal plan so you can modify it however you want.
First, I'm not eating refined sugar. This means if sugar, corn syrup, and/or high fructose corn syrup is listed in the first five ingredients of something, I won't eat it. The first five ingredient guideline is the same as diabetics use.
Second, I'm letting myself eat unrefined sugar (Sugar in the Raw/turbinado sugar), honey, and molasses. Stonyfield Farms yogurt is sweetened with natural milled sugar, which is so much yummier than Nutrasweet, which Dannon and Yoplait use to sweeten their sugar free options. Also keep an eye out for fruit juice-sweetened products because that's good too.
Third, fruit is fabulous. A regular-sized apple or orange, half a banana, and different amounts of different juices (have to check the bottle/carton) equal about 60 calories, which is one serving of fruit. Be sure if you're drinking juice that you check the ingredients. Many many juices are NOT fruit juice. They're often water, high fructose corn syrup, and, like, 10% juice. USDA recommends 3-4 servings of fruit per day (http://www.usda.gov/cnpp/Insights/Insight20.PDF)
Frozen fruits and veggies are fine. I've been reading a lot lately about how freezing really doesn't take away a lot of nutrients. One of my favorite recipes from the Dr. Phil plan is a fruit smoothie, which is made with frozen berries:
Fruit Smoothie
1 Cup milk
3/4 - 1 Cup frozen berries (I love blackberries, and blueberries are getting a lot of hype lately for being a good source of antioxidants. Both types of berries are thought to have anti-cancer properties)
1/3 T. sliced almonds
(I put a smidgen of vanilla extract in too, which adds a nice flavor)
Blend and drink
Condiments: Polaner All Fruit and Smuckers Simply Fruit are completely fruit juice-sweetened jellies and jams. Smuckers also makes an all-natural peanut butter in chunky and smooth. Be sure to refrigerate the peanut butter after you open it. Unlike Jif and Skippy with lots of preservatives, it won't keep in the pantry.
Check the ingredients of salad dressings - most of them have sugar or corn syrup as the third ingredient. I let myself slide a little on my personal favorite brand, Kraft Light Done Right, because corn syrup is occasionally the 4th ingredient. You can usually find low-sugar dressings in any store, but especially at stores like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods.
I believe Trader Joe's has a low sugar ketchup option, but I figure you can let ketchup slide, since I'm assuming you won't be chugging it. :) Corn syrup is usually the third ingredient in ketchups, I believe.
In addition to cutting out sugar, I generally try as much as I can to eat only whole grains. White flour goes into your system very similarly to refined sugar. Whole wheat bread, oatmeal, whole wheat crackers, etc. Kashi waffles are yummy even without butter and syrup! They also have a little soy in them, which is an especially good protein source for women.
Vegetables are great. A serving of veggies is only 25 calories. Check any nutrition site for what equals a serving. For instance, about 12 baby carrots, 2 cups of lettuce, or 1/2 cup of broccoli equal a serving.
Bear in mind, corn and potatoes are NOT veggies, they are carbohydrates. A serving of potato is a small potato and equals about 80 calories. I often eat a small sweet potato rather than a regular potato, because sweet potatoes have all sorts of good stuff in them that regular potatoes don't like vitamins C and B6, manganese, and a bit of potassium
Be aware of good fats versus bad fats. Good fats include olive oil, avocadoes (hooray!), and many types of nuts.
I fudge things a bit occasionally because I know if I don't like it, I won't eat it. So while brown rice is the healthiest, I think it tastes blechy, so I make jasmine rice (fab when made in lemon and herb chicken broth). Chicken breasts obviously have lower fat, but I prefer dark meat so I get skinless, boneless chicken thighs and trim ALL the fat off. I also eat salmon and tuna. (Let's hear it for Costco!)
OK, sorry for the boring post, but I just thought I'd lay it all out there for anyone who might be interested. :) Apparently I know a lot more about this stuff than I ever realized.
First, I'm not eating refined sugar. This means if sugar, corn syrup, and/or high fructose corn syrup is listed in the first five ingredients of something, I won't eat it. The first five ingredient guideline is the same as diabetics use.
Second, I'm letting myself eat unrefined sugar (Sugar in the Raw/turbinado sugar), honey, and molasses. Stonyfield Farms yogurt is sweetened with natural milled sugar, which is so much yummier than Nutrasweet, which Dannon and Yoplait use to sweeten their sugar free options. Also keep an eye out for fruit juice-sweetened products because that's good too.
Third, fruit is fabulous. A regular-sized apple or orange, half a banana, and different amounts of different juices (have to check the bottle/carton) equal about 60 calories, which is one serving of fruit. Be sure if you're drinking juice that you check the ingredients. Many many juices are NOT fruit juice. They're often water, high fructose corn syrup, and, like, 10% juice. USDA recommends 3-4 servings of fruit per day (http://www.usda.gov/cnpp/Insights/Insight20.PDF)
Frozen fruits and veggies are fine. I've been reading a lot lately about how freezing really doesn't take away a lot of nutrients. One of my favorite recipes from the Dr. Phil plan is a fruit smoothie, which is made with frozen berries:
Fruit Smoothie
1 Cup milk
3/4 - 1 Cup frozen berries (I love blackberries, and blueberries are getting a lot of hype lately for being a good source of antioxidants. Both types of berries are thought to have anti-cancer properties)
1/3 T. sliced almonds
(I put a smidgen of vanilla extract in too, which adds a nice flavor)
Blend and drink
Condiments: Polaner All Fruit and Smuckers Simply Fruit are completely fruit juice-sweetened jellies and jams. Smuckers also makes an all-natural peanut butter in chunky and smooth. Be sure to refrigerate the peanut butter after you open it. Unlike Jif and Skippy with lots of preservatives, it won't keep in the pantry.
Check the ingredients of salad dressings - most of them have sugar or corn syrup as the third ingredient. I let myself slide a little on my personal favorite brand, Kraft Light Done Right, because corn syrup is occasionally the 4th ingredient. You can usually find low-sugar dressings in any store, but especially at stores like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods.
I believe Trader Joe's has a low sugar ketchup option, but I figure you can let ketchup slide, since I'm assuming you won't be chugging it. :) Corn syrup is usually the third ingredient in ketchups, I believe.
In addition to cutting out sugar, I generally try as much as I can to eat only whole grains. White flour goes into your system very similarly to refined sugar. Whole wheat bread, oatmeal, whole wheat crackers, etc. Kashi waffles are yummy even without butter and syrup! They also have a little soy in them, which is an especially good protein source for women.
Vegetables are great. A serving of veggies is only 25 calories. Check any nutrition site for what equals a serving. For instance, about 12 baby carrots, 2 cups of lettuce, or 1/2 cup of broccoli equal a serving.
Bear in mind, corn and potatoes are NOT veggies, they are carbohydrates. A serving of potato is a small potato and equals about 80 calories. I often eat a small sweet potato rather than a regular potato, because sweet potatoes have all sorts of good stuff in them that regular potatoes don't like vitamins C and B6, manganese, and a bit of potassium
Be aware of good fats versus bad fats. Good fats include olive oil, avocadoes (hooray!), and many types of nuts.
I fudge things a bit occasionally because I know if I don't like it, I won't eat it. So while brown rice is the healthiest, I think it tastes blechy, so I make jasmine rice (fab when made in lemon and herb chicken broth). Chicken breasts obviously have lower fat, but I prefer dark meat so I get skinless, boneless chicken thighs and trim ALL the fat off. I also eat salmon and tuna. (Let's hear it for Costco!)
OK, sorry for the boring post, but I just thought I'd lay it all out there for anyone who might be interested. :) Apparently I know a lot more about this stuff than I ever realized.
No Sugar
As of today I am not eating sugar anymore. I have one exception - one day a month I can go crazy (NOTE: this idea is the property of Boston Jenn, now San Francisco Jenn. I in no way meant to usurp her idea and appear brilliant at her expense. Jenn is obviously the brilliant one). I've actually gone without sugar before. From ages 13-around 16 my parents didn't have sugar in the house. I lost a little weight, but mainly I felt good. And you know the weirdest thing? It took me awhile to actually like things with sugar in them again after I hadn't eaten it for awhile.
Last year my friend Becky ate no sugar all year. She lost a bunch of weight and looks and feels great. I've been mulling this over for the past couple of weeks and finally decided to just do it. Well, Saturday night I was chatting with my friend Randi and told her I was going to cut out sugar starting February 1st and she immediately said "I'm doing it with you!" It's a wee bit harder for her, since she's studying to be a pastry chef, so her rule is, she can taste her batter and make sure she's doing it right, but when it's done, she can't cut herself off a big hunk and eat it like she usually does. We're supposed to check in with each other once a week.
So Sunday night I was at a baptism and telling my friend Chrissy about this and she said, "Oh, that's such a good idea..." and I could see she was really thinking about it. That evening I told Becky that Randi and I were going to give it a go. By the end of the night Becky had convinced Chrissy to do it and roped in this other girl Alyson.
Becky's advice: don't think you're doing this for a whole year because you'll feel overwhelmed. Just think, I'm not eating sugar today. Gradually all the todays add up and you've done the week and then the month and then the year. It's all scarily similar to AA's One Day At A Time thing. It's kind of similar really, what with the highs and lows that come from sugar.
I discovered last Fall that when I was sticking to my Dr. Phil Shape-Up Plan, I didn't even crave sugar. The plan is so fruit-heavy that I got plenty of sweetness in my system (In addition to my natural sweetness of course).
Since so many people know, I feel like I'm accountable for this. Kind of like people knowing I don't drink as a Mormon. I'd go to parties at work in Chicago and people would say, "Oh none of this for you, Kelly" like I was going to fling myself over the bar, break a bottle, and hold the shard up to the bartender's neck until he fixed me an appletini.
So here we go: Day 1 without sugar
(Why is everything sounding dirty to me lately?)
Last year my friend Becky ate no sugar all year. She lost a bunch of weight and looks and feels great. I've been mulling this over for the past couple of weeks and finally decided to just do it. Well, Saturday night I was chatting with my friend Randi and told her I was going to cut out sugar starting February 1st and she immediately said "I'm doing it with you!" It's a wee bit harder for her, since she's studying to be a pastry chef, so her rule is, she can taste her batter and make sure she's doing it right, but when it's done, she can't cut herself off a big hunk and eat it like she usually does. We're supposed to check in with each other once a week.
So Sunday night I was at a baptism and telling my friend Chrissy about this and she said, "Oh, that's such a good idea..." and I could see she was really thinking about it. That evening I told Becky that Randi and I were going to give it a go. By the end of the night Becky had convinced Chrissy to do it and roped in this other girl Alyson.
Becky's advice: don't think you're doing this for a whole year because you'll feel overwhelmed. Just think, I'm not eating sugar today. Gradually all the todays add up and you've done the week and then the month and then the year. It's all scarily similar to AA's One Day At A Time thing. It's kind of similar really, what with the highs and lows that come from sugar.
I discovered last Fall that when I was sticking to my Dr. Phil Shape-Up Plan, I didn't even crave sugar. The plan is so fruit-heavy that I got plenty of sweetness in my system (In addition to my natural sweetness of course).
Since so many people know, I feel like I'm accountable for this. Kind of like people knowing I don't drink as a Mormon. I'd go to parties at work in Chicago and people would say, "Oh none of this for you, Kelly" like I was going to fling myself over the bar, break a bottle, and hold the shard up to the bartender's neck until he fixed me an appletini.
So here we go: Day 1 without sugar
(Why is everything sounding dirty to me lately?)
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