OK, that's not exactly true. I do have some friends with no kids. But I just got a note and picture from a college friend saying that they'll be trying for their third this summer. I found out today my boss is pregnant. Jen in Berkeley should be presenting us with Baby Boy any time now. It's all just madness!
So part of me is really envious. Not only do I not have a boyfriend, but now I feel like I'm really not doing it right as my fertility ekes away with every passing year (or month, if you want to be all graphic). That biological clock is tick tiCK TICKing away.
The other part of me is thinking, I can't have kids yet, are you crazy? I am soooooo not mature enough for that.
A friend of mine at school told me that he thinks it would just be tragic if I don't have kids because he thinks I'm a very motherly person. I'm not exactly sure how to take that because it brings beaded and muu-muued earth mother pictures to my mind, which are guaranteed to keep the boys away.
Maybe as I become more and more selfish, then I'll be more attractive. Guys? Thoughts? Isn't it the super high-maintenance, selfish women who always have guys trailing after them?
2 comments:
So anyway, what exactly are you soliciting thoughts on? Just looking for some generalizations? Okay. High maintenance women often do have entourages ... but the composition is always changing. Think J Lo; how many husbands is she up to? I agree it's strange that these women get what *you* ostensibly want ... when they themselves place a relatively low priority on it. Think about the gals who look for a tall guy because it matches their high-heeled shoes. They really like the shoes; a good guy is of secondary importance. The main prerequisite is that he doesn't clash with the shoes.
I think that many people-- yes, even guys-- gravitate toward strength and energy. The gals with the Pravda tote bags know what they want and aren't afraid to bend the world to their knee to get it. But at the same time, those interests aren't imtimidating because, like, that's such a girl thing. So they get the men are most willing to be led but are the least willing to admit it.
As for the kids thing, I've never figured it out entirely. How much of wanting kids is biological, how much is socialization, and how much is really truly sheer personal desire? A relative of mine was the oldest daughter in her family of about 6 kids. The mom was laid back enough so she left everything to her daughter. So, the story goes, she more-or-less raised the whole family. The rest of her life, she loved kids-- she became a teacher, actually just retired, and she was one of the most doting of my relatives-- but, the story goes, she shunned marriage specifically because she didn't want to raise more of them. I've always thought there was a lesson to be learned from her experience ... that parenthood can be a trial; it might be nicer if you can get some time off ....
:-]
After spending Thanksgiving with a couple of friends and their little boy, I wondered about my actual desire to have kids. I love kids and I loved spending time with Johnny. But it's just SO much. The child is your child forever, and the child's schedule is your schedule, and the child's needs are your priorities. Sometimes I wonder if I would be better as a wicked cool aunt, like my Aunt Luanne, but unfortunately I have no siblings.
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