My parents will not be at my wedding. My mom is too sick and my dad can’t leave her – not that I would want him to leave her all alone to sit and be sad, knowing that she was missing the wedding.
There are many things wrong with my mom, all of them degenerative so they’re not getting any better. She turned 51 yesterday and she is completely disabled. The main problem right now is the arthritis that has basically destroyed all of the cartilage in all of her joints. When I have talked to her recently she has told me how she can’t move her arms anymore.
Earlier on in this wedding planning process she talked about getting one of her shoulders operated on, having a couple of months to recuperate, and then coming to the wedding. As far as I knew, while my mom and I discussed the plans, they were planning on coming. However, the surgery has been postponed a couple of times and after meeting with her doctor last week, they determined that she would not be able to travel in October.
So basically I’m still planning and still trying to feel excited for the sake of my amazing roommates who are throwing a shower for me this weekend and for the sake of the rest of our family and friends who are so excited for us. But my excitement is tempered with a deep sadness. My dad won’t walk me down the aisle, my parents won’t be in the pictures, all of those standard wedding things won’t be what I thought they were going to be. We have put down nonrefundable deposits and other people have bought nonrefundable tickets. I talked with Jason last night about calling things off. I mean, still getting married, but not doing the whole big thing. Right now at 12:47 AM that feels like it might be an option again.
But today I was trying to think of ways to make things a little better somehow for them, even though I know it really won’t be. Ways like getting everything on video.
And really it’s not even the wedding that is the worst part of all of this. It’s that my mom is so very sick. I know she would be here if there was any possible way. I am their only child. Yesterday I broke down to Jason and one of my roommates. I thought I could talk about it, but while I was explaining my parents' situation and why they couldn't come I just started sobbing. It makes me feel so completely helpless to think about what is going on with them. I have watched this happening for, well, for my whole life really, and sometimes the sadness and the frustration overwhelm me.
I have felt it all day. My body feels like one giant clenched muscle and I am weary.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Engagement Photo Shoot Outtakes
Brandon and his lovely assistant Sarah took some pictures of me and Jason on Sunday. We got some nice ones, but here for your viewing pleasure are some of the not no nice ones:
Right off the bat there was some bad lighting going on. As you can see, we were not pleased.
Looking adoringly at that man of mine.
Waiting for our close up.
We were trying to look like we were having fun.
Maybe if we look pretty no one will notice the headstones behind us...
Kissy poo
Jason's standard reaction to kissing me while I'm wearing lipstick
Sassy!
Since Brandon took over 400 pictures in an hour or so, there are points where you could make a virtual flipbook of the action.
What should we do next?
I don't know, what do you think?
How about smug and haughty? Can we pull off smug and haughty?
I think we succeeded.
Trying not to laugh.
Honestly, we did have a lot of fun
Like I said, there were several really nice shots. We look so photogenic, like a magazine shoot as my MOH Jenn said, but honestly I think if you take 400+ pictures of anyone, there are bound to be a few good ones. Kudos to Brandon for his patience and for taking some really nice pictures.
Right off the bat there was some bad lighting going on. As you can see, we were not pleased.
Looking adoringly at that man of mine.
Waiting for our close up.
We were trying to look like we were having fun.
Maybe if we look pretty no one will notice the headstones behind us...
Kissy poo
Jason's standard reaction to kissing me while I'm wearing lipstick
Sassy!
Since Brandon took over 400 pictures in an hour or so, there are points where you could make a virtual flipbook of the action.
What should we do next?
I don't know, what do you think?
How about smug and haughty? Can we pull off smug and haughty?
I think we succeeded.Trying not to laugh.
Honestly, we did have a lot of fun
Like I said, there were several really nice shots. We look so photogenic, like a magazine shoot as my MOH Jenn said, but honestly I think if you take 400+ pictures of anyone, there are bound to be a few good ones. Kudos to Brandon for his patience and for taking some really nice pictures.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Saving Money
We're on a tight budget for this wedding. I have been doing my best to bargain hunt, sending out scores of emails and checking out hundreds of websites for reception venues, caterers, photographers, cakes, bridesmaid dresses, etc. I have enlisted the assistance of my mom in the quest to have a relatively inexpensive wedding, while still trying to pull together something classy. Most of the vendors have been very nice when I've politiely informed them that their particular service doesn't fit into our budget. However, there have been a couple of rude people, that kind of make me want to tell everyone their names so no one who I know or who reads this blog will use them. Even though I'm strapped for cash, that's no reason to be rude to me.
Rule Number 1: Generally, if the reception venue/caterer doesn't list their prices, that means I can't afford it.
So about a month ago I called this one venue that actually seemed to have decent prices online. I got on the phone with on of the venue's wedding coordinator. We discussed the packages and it became clear that I could not afford them. She asked me what my budget was and then gave a snort and told me that I was crazy if I thought I could have a reception for under $10,000.
She was wrong. And a snot. And if you're planning a wedding in Boston I will tell you who it was.
Rule Number 2: Surprisingly, even if a photographer doesn't list their prices, they might be affordable.
The photographers have generally been very nice. However, the other day I shot off a form email to a photographer asking for her wedding rates and I mentioned my budget for photography just to put it out there so we would both know if we were even in the same ballpark. This is the response I got back:
Um, I think my priorities are fine, thank you. They include not going into massive debt for what is basically a one-day party. I have found several photographers with packages starting at half the price of yours and whose websites are just as pretty as yours. I also think that you should invest in a spell checker for your email program. Or at least proofread.
I have my own Rule Number 1 for photographers: GET A WEBSITE. Seriously. It's 2007. No really, it is. The brides of today will be surfing the internet looking for their vendors and you are missing out because I guarantee the majority of my generation has an aversion to making phone calls and listening to sales pitches over and over and over again.
Rule Number 1: Generally, if the reception venue/caterer doesn't list their prices, that means I can't afford it.
So about a month ago I called this one venue that actually seemed to have decent prices online. I got on the phone with on of the venue's wedding coordinator. We discussed the packages and it became clear that I could not afford them. She asked me what my budget was and then gave a snort and told me that I was crazy if I thought I could have a reception for under $10,000.
She was wrong. And a snot. And if you're planning a wedding in Boston I will tell you who it was.
Rule Number 2: Surprisingly, even if a photographer doesn't list their prices, they might be affordable.
The photographers have generally been very nice. However, the other day I shot off a form email to a photographer asking for her wedding rates and I mentioned my budget for photography just to put it out there so we would both know if we were even in the same ballpark. This is the response I got back:
Thank you for inquiring about our wedding photography. Unfortunetly we are
unavailale on that date. Our wedding photography priceing starts at
$3000.00. I wouldn't know where to direct you in relation to your budget. Keep
in mind, that the photography is all you will have left after the wedding.
Everything else is just for the moment. You should porbably give your priorities
anohter thought.
Um, I think my priorities are fine, thank you. They include not going into massive debt for what is basically a one-day party. I have found several photographers with packages starting at half the price of yours and whose websites are just as pretty as yours. I also think that you should invest in a spell checker for your email program. Or at least proofread.
I have my own Rule Number 1 for photographers: GET A WEBSITE. Seriously. It's 2007. No really, it is. The brides of today will be surfing the internet looking for their vendors and you are missing out because I guarantee the majority of my generation has an aversion to making phone calls and listening to sales pitches over and over and over again.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Birds Will Sing As If They Knew
Well, I think all the people we know in real life who might be offended if they found out this way know, so now we can tell everyone.
Jason and I are getting married!
In October. I love October! It's the perfect Autumn in New England month and I'm hoping for nice weather because Autumn in New England can also be really rainy and blah. The wedding is 10 days after my birthday, 2 days after my parents' anniversary, 6 days after my uncle's birthday and 1 day after my late Nana's birthday. All reasons why October has always been my favorite month, even when I didn't live in New England. Not to mention the apples and the pumpkins and foods tinged with nutmeg and cinnamon and cloves.
The plans have been in progress since around Memorial Day. I have a dress, we know where we're having the ceremony and reception, we're pretty sure which caterer we're going with*, I found a flower wholesaler, I have 1 maid of honor and 1 bridesmaid so far, family and friends are coming from far and wide.
We need a cake and a photographer. On the cheap. Any recommendations in the Boston area?
*Had a tasting last week. The food was great and the caterer is really nice and pulled together her own wedding on a strict budget five years ago. She has lots of ideas for me.
Jason and I are getting married!
In October. I love October! It's the perfect Autumn in New England month and I'm hoping for nice weather because Autumn in New England can also be really rainy and blah. The wedding is 10 days after my birthday, 2 days after my parents' anniversary, 6 days after my uncle's birthday and 1 day after my late Nana's birthday. All reasons why October has always been my favorite month, even when I didn't live in New England. Not to mention the apples and the pumpkins and foods tinged with nutmeg and cinnamon and cloves.
The plans have been in progress since around Memorial Day. I have a dress, we know where we're having the ceremony and reception, we're pretty sure which caterer we're going with*, I found a flower wholesaler, I have 1 maid of honor and 1 bridesmaid so far, family and friends are coming from far and wide.
We need a cake and a photographer. On the cheap. Any recommendations in the Boston area?
*Had a tasting last week. The food was great and the caterer is really nice and pulled together her own wedding on a strict budget five years ago. She has lots of ideas for me.
Monkey Arms
I have a casual black jacket from H&M that I keep at work because it is always, ALWAYS freezing at work. I can drink tea all day long, but I will still be frozen by mid morning.
As I was putting on the jacket today, I wondered what sort of disproportionate freakshow this jacket was actually made for.
First of all, I have the sleeves rolled up about 3 inches because the jacket was made for a woman with very long arms. Even with the sleeves rolled up, I can still pull the sleeves down enough to tuck my fingers inside when they’re especially cold. The actual sleeves are a little baggy now that I’ve lost weight, even though my upper arms are still not what you would call “small”. Laps and laps of freestyle have not helped as my triceps, while toned, are also formidable.
Now here’s the thing. It is made from a heavy knit fabric, but it’s shaped like a blazer so there is a collar and buttons up the front. I can’t button the buttons. Actually, I can button them over my chest (which isn’t teeny, even though it’s not what it once was), but then I struggle to get the button to close around my waist. The finished product has the button straining at the waist, while the fabric over my chest is a little loose.
So apparently this jacket was made for a woman with large, sturdy monkey arms, a 38DD rack and a 20 inch waist. Of course.
As I was putting on the jacket today, I wondered what sort of disproportionate freakshow this jacket was actually made for.
First of all, I have the sleeves rolled up about 3 inches because the jacket was made for a woman with very long arms. Even with the sleeves rolled up, I can still pull the sleeves down enough to tuck my fingers inside when they’re especially cold. The actual sleeves are a little baggy now that I’ve lost weight, even though my upper arms are still not what you would call “small”. Laps and laps of freestyle have not helped as my triceps, while toned, are also formidable.
Now here’s the thing. It is made from a heavy knit fabric, but it’s shaped like a blazer so there is a collar and buttons up the front. I can’t button the buttons. Actually, I can button them over my chest (which isn’t teeny, even though it’s not what it once was), but then I struggle to get the button to close around my waist. The finished product has the button straining at the waist, while the fabric over my chest is a little loose.
So apparently this jacket was made for a woman with large, sturdy monkey arms, a 38DD rack and a 20 inch waist. Of course.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Road Rage Repository
To the big mother Buick that didn't signal that he was turning right as I was trying to merge into oncoming traffic: "Thanks for the signal, Buddy!"
To the woman who decided she just had to make that light and then got stuck right in front of me, looking all nonchalant: "Don't block the box!"
To the woman who honked AND yelled at me with wild arm gestures as she practically merged into me: "Yeah, I've been following this truck for 2 miles and you had a Yield sign back there. B***h." I really wanted to roll down my window for that one.
I have a bit of a problem.
To the big mother Buick that didn't signal that he was turning right as I was trying to merge into oncoming traffic: "Thanks for the signal, Buddy!"
To the woman who decided she just had to make that light and then got stuck right in front of me, looking all nonchalant: "Don't block the box!"
To the woman who honked AND yelled at me with wild arm gestures as she practically merged into me: "Yeah, I've been following this truck for 2 miles and you had a Yield sign back there. B***h." I really wanted to roll down my window for that one.
I have a bit of a problem.
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