Early Morning

It's almost 4 AM Wednesday morning and I am pretty much wide awake. I woke up about a half hour ago. It's so early that instead of yelling at me to feed him when he saw I was awake, Tiny just curled up at my feet to keep me company while I read and re-read blogs.

I woke up with my mind racing about what I maybe should have said on the essay questions that I had no idea about. I thought about looking up the law when I got home yesterday to try to figure out what I should have written, but decided that would only be depressing and counterproductive. I'm trying to have the same philosophy that I did last time: it's done. There's nothing I can do now. Move forward to the next part.

So last night Jason and I ate sushi and watched Alias reruns and I downed Excedrin to try to kill off the headache I got about a half hour after the exam finished. I switched to Ibuprofen this morning and I think it's finally starting to work since the main issue isn't really my head per se, but the tightness in my right shoulder, which is where all of my stress lives. Yesterday after writing for about an hour and a half straight I finally looked up from the exam and realized my neck was so stiff that I had to roll it around a little before I could actually lift my head all the way.

I miss being able to talk with people about the test this time around. Although all of my friends and I had an agreement that we would NOT rehash the exam, we did talk about general impressions. It's comforting when you know that every single person you know also feels like they completely bombed the Multistate. We couldn't have ALL failed (and no one I know did). I saw a few people yesterday from my Barbri class and we said hi and wished each other good luck, but I don't really know any of them well enough to call and discuss how we felt about the whole thing.

So I feel kind of alone in my angst this time around, chiming in on other people's conversations and eavesdropping to try to get a general impression so that I don't feel like I'm the only one who is wallowing in suckitude.

I am grateful to have Jason this time around. As aggravating as he has been at times over the past couple of months, and as much friction as my Bar stress has generated, right now he is full of encouragement and tenderness. In fact, he just woke up and wandered out to the living room to see where I was. He told me to come back to bed and go to sleep because I need my sleep for my big exam today. I'll try that in a little bit - if I feel tired. Last night he offered to take me out to one of our favorite fancy restaurants tonight. I told him I would love that if I'm not the aforementioned pile of goo tonight after the Multistate. He's a pretty nice guy.