Holy cow, I don't check the blog for one whole day and everyone goes crazy with the commenting! Thanks!
Just as a short little reply to one of the comments made about the women asking the men out, I've actually tried that, in a group type setting. I've been canceled on or just never replied to numerous times so I gave up. I also hear conflicting messages about this. First, is the the whole thing that if a guy isn't attracted, he's not going to become attracted. I'm going to assume that if a guy is attracted to me, he'll ask me out. Second, I've been told that in a very primal way, men are the hunters. Asking a guy out is a surefire way to make him really not interested. Who knows.
I will give the LPW boys this much: at least they don't cast their eyes around like a rabbit caught in a trap whenever I talk to them now. Some of them will even initiate conversation with me. See what losing 40 lbs can do.
Thanks to everyone who proffered advice about transportation to and from various airports in the DC area. One of my friends from Tucson who now lives in Virginia offered to pick me up at Dulles and have me stay with her. I'm excited because she now has a husband and two children who I've never met.
I left Barbri an hour early today. The topic was Federal Jurisdiction. The lecturer seemed to think it was a great idea to provide us with a 32-page handout covering all you'd ever want to know about jurisdiction, and then stand at the podium and read it to us. That's why he gets paid the big bucks. Seriously, I took like 5 notes in the 2 hours that I was there. Some people left after the first hour, more after the second. I thumbed through the 14 remaining pages and realized there were about 7 blanks, all of which I could fill out by reading the handout myself and using the CMR as a supplement. The same professor is doing Civ Pro tomorrow. I may leave after the first hour if it's more of the same.
I decided that the middle of the day on Thursday would be a good time to head out to the mall to look for a new suit. When I was in DC in April my suit was hanging on me and I tried on my jacket last night and laughed at myself in the mirror.
This exercise of hunting for a suit has proven to consistently be one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. First of all, my top and my bottom are two different sizes, so I can never just pluck a suit off the rack and try it on. No, it's all about the separates for me. And then it's all about trying to find the right sizes, because lots of times people will buy a skirt OR a jacket so there are 47 jackets and 1 skirt left or vice versa.
Second, I have short legs. So regular size pants always pool around my ankles and have a too-high waist, but petites are often just a little too short. Besides, I always get strange looks from people when I'm shopping in Petites because I'm 5' 6". I just have a really long torso.
Third, I have hips and thighs so wearing a pencil skirt is consistently an uphill battle. If I get the skirt that fits my hips, there's 3-4 inches of extra fabric around my waist. I would kill for a black suit, with a slight A-line skirt, and a cute fitted jacket that comes in at my waist and just brushes my hips. Someday I'll have my own personal tailor, darn it!
I'm just looking for a nice, conservative skirt suit. Impossible! Macy's failed me. Macy's has consistently been my favorite store in the world, but they offered me nothing except for Calvin Klein (which I'll discuss later), that even looked close to acceptable. So I trotted over to Filene's and quickly found an adorable suit jacket, but, alas, no skirt, only pants that looked stupid on me, puddling around my ankles, straining over my thighs, with a 3 inch gap at the waist (I feel pretty!)
Also, will somebody please tell me what is going on with the business world that cropped-pant suits are deemed appropriate?
I wound up at Sears, and found a skirt to go with the Filene's jacket. Ta-dah! Mix and match suit. That only took 3 1/2 hours! Ugh! Malls make me feel oppressed anyway. I treated myself to a soft pretzel when it was all over.
Note on Calvin Klein: I must say I'm impressed with the skirts and pants offered up by Calvin Klein. I actually found a super sassy suit, that made me look fab, except for one thing. The two little flaps in back, where the jacket meets in a slit at the bottom, popped up on the shelf that is my bum in a way that I didn't think was exactly right. I looked smokin' from the front, though. The skirt and the jacket hugged my curves perfectly. So my question is, if Calvin understands how to make a skirt for the bootylicious woman, why doesn't his jacket also make the same allowances? I just couldn't justify spending $375 on a suit that sort of didn't fit right. But, man, did I feel chic standing in the dressing room.
16 comments:
Hi Kelly!
Here's a bit of non-MacDaddy male perspective.
A primal-brain/hunter-male who's asked out by a gal is automatically going to be on the defensive because it doesn't fit the established pattern. (I leave it to others to determine if this is genetically imprinted.)
Even reasonably intelligent guys who get such an invite out of the blue are taken off-guard; such is socialization in our culture. We (Males) are largely still not used to it, even after decades of Female Empowerment.
Yikes, I'm slipping back into academia...sorry...Here's my experience, K. I've been asked out first a (very) few times. I've always responded in the positive, because there's always been something intriguing about the asker. Nothing long-term has ever developed, but to this day I have good feelings about the askers.
So Kelly, ask the guy to meet you for ice cream or a sandwich...something low-key. If he's up for it, you have a lunch (or ice cream) date. (Second encounter has to build on the first, of course.)
If he ducks and runs, (or gets the "trapped rabbit eyes...great metaphor!) he's too shallow for you. Move on.
Enough from me. You keep doing what you're doing. I see happiness in your future.
Jim
Congrats on the weight loss! Do you mind me asking how you did it?
Sorry about the almost-bootylicious Calvin Klein. I am glad you found something you are happy with cause nothing beats feeling beautiful when you walk into an interview!
>First, is the the whole thing that if a guy isn't attracted, he's not going to become attracted. I'm going to assume that if a guy is attracted to me, he'll ask me out.
True and true.
>Second, I've been told that in a very primal way, men are the hunters. Asking a guy out is a surefire way to make him really not interested.
Not so sure about this one. I will give my perspective. I think it's fine when girls ask guys. it hasn't happened to me a whole ton, but i always accept. i dont think asking someone out would ever make them not interested (if so they are screwed up and you wouldnt want to go out with them anyway), but it can be awkward if they are not interested. This is something females deal with more often, cause people they are not interested in are always asking them out (except in LPW apparently), but us males have less experience in this department.
Most enlightened guys would not have a problem being asked out. you are right though, if a guy is attracted to you he will ask you out. or talk to you a lot. or find every excuse to be near you. poor predictable humans.
By the way, I have my suspicions about who Anonymous Male is. Even from the first post, he's sounded very like the old friend of a new friend of mine here in Seattle, who called me at a very late hour a few weeks ago and gave the nickname "Hardheaded Whitman" last year. :) Nay?
I'm with Kelly on the asking guys out thing. I'll invite guys to group activities in hopes of getting to know them better, but unless they ask me out, nothing will ever come of it. Anonymous may have always accepted, but did he ask her out later? Jim says he has good feelings about the girls that asked him out, but did he ever ask them out himself? *shrug* I figure, I can flirt, I can suggest, I can talk to him, but it's up to him to do the pursuing.
Okay, so my grammar sucks tonight. Bad antecedent usage! Bad editor! I meant to say Anonymous called me a couple weeks ago and gave me that nickname, not his old friend. If that's even who he is. ;)
stacer-
sorry! i did not call you a couple of weeks ago. my secret identity is safe. keep trying though.
I did not ask out again the girls who asked me out. Like i said, it's only happened a few times, and i wasn't particularly interested in them after our first date. wouldn't asking them out again imply i had some sort of interest? If i asked someone out and then they asked me out later, i would probably assume they were interested in me. if it was a girl i really liked, or the date went really well, i would definitely ask again.
(Well, Anonymous, at least tell me if you know me in real life?)
Yes, asking them out again does imply you have some sort of interest. My point is that you would have already asked if you were interested, so why should a girl bother asking a guy out? Nothing will come of it. Basically, I was using both of you as examples of why I agree with Kelly.
Jim and Anon, I'll bear the whole asking guys out thing in mind when I move to DC, if nothing else but to get out a little bit. Right now whether or not to ask someone out is a moot point since I'm taking the Bar in 19 days (holy crap!) and moving to DC in a month and a half. It's all purely academic right now.
Feather, well dealing with my depression was key for me. Other than that, just eating healthy and exercising regularly. Now I've cut out sugar and most of the white flour from my diet. I've also recently cut WAY back on caffeine (I have it once a week or so. Eventually I'd like to phase it out altogether, but I like my little Diet Coke with Lime treat). Lastly, I'll once again plug ediets.com. They're just very handy because for $12 a month you can pick a food plan and they give you a meal plan, recipes, and a shopping list. If you're too busy to come up with your own structure, or don't know where to start, it's a great starting point.
Kelly, I have the same problem with shopping for suits: different size top and bottom, between petites and normal, curves. I have had a lot of luck at Casual Corner. Some of their stuff is for older women (mom clothes), but they have some classic suits in mix and match pieces (a few jacket, pant and skirt styles in the same fabric). I think stores geared to an older demographic have more in the way of hip/butt allowance.
Good luck on the interview! But if it's soon, like in July or August, don't forget how insanely hot and humid it is here and plan accordingly.
Good Lord, I understand the suit thing. I'm 5'9.5" so I have to be really careful to make sure pants are long enough-especially with heels.
Then I have the problem of the gaping waist as well. If I get a skirt to fit my hips (which of course are helpless wide after having a child) it gapes at the waist.
Let's not even get started on finding a jacket to fit in the chest area (well endowed) in addition to the shoulders that also fits the length of my arms as well.
My last power suit shopping experience - 4.5 hours for one pant suit and two shells.
Blech!
Good luck on the interview BTW! I'll say a prayer or two!
Kel, this has nothing to do with dating or suits, but I thought you might find this interesting for your swimming:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4626823.stm#update3
Kelly - do you have a Limited or Express out there? I've always found really cute & stylish suits there. They have separate jackets & bottoms, and their pants come in ankle, regular, and long lengths. Plus they usually have a least a couple of skirt options to go with each jacket. Express doesn't have as many full suits anymore, but their "Editor" style pants are awesome! Oh, and they're a little on the pricey side, but they have good sales and I think you can save 15% if you get their store card, plus you get a coupon book to use throughout the year and occasionally they have really good sales.
Stacy, that is pretty darn cool! I'll have to look into that after I get my SwimP3. I'm going to have so much crap attached to my goggles.
Lilcis, I actually glanced into Express and Limited but didn't go in. I am kind of skeptical as to if they'll have bottoms that fit me, but I'll check them out next time. Express is my favorite place to get shirts right now anyway.
Stacer, i don't know if i know you, cause i dont know exactly who you are. probably not, but we may have met. well, this has been a fun set of threads. entertaining and informative. kelly don't worry, you are clearly smart and you're a cute girl. something will work out. if i were in a position to do so, i would ask you out.
- original anonymous male.
Ah, there aren't that many stacers who used to live in Boston but who now live in Seattle, so you'd know if you know me. Or you could just follow the link to my lj and see my picture. Oh well. And good discussion, even if I don't know you.
Post a Comment