What does it mean when I'm doing badly even on the subjects I most recently reviewed?
I'll tell you what I THINK it means. I'm failing the Bar! I can't even keep straight the stuff I just memorized off my flashcards 10 minutes ago even though I felt all confident and like I had it when I was memorizing it!
Do you think Torts and Contracts in one day is expecting too much of myself?
Do you think there's a chance that if I let this stuff percolate in my head for awhile that some of it will seep in?
How is it that despite all the work I've done thus far, I don't feel like I've done ANYthing and I'm kicking myself for not pulling 12 hour days for the last 6 weeks?
What if I just have a really bad memory and it's impossible for me to pass the Bar? I mean, I do have to write EVERYthing down in my life. Maybe I'm only good at the law if I have Westlaw and outlines as backup.
4 comments:
There, there . . . first off, you need to CALM DOWN! I know that's easier said than done, but nothing will take away from your ability to memorize more than bad nerves. Breathe, say a prayer, whatever . . . just calm yourself! Now, if you do fail the bar . . . you will just take it again. I tell you from experience that you will not fall off the face of the earth if that happens. But, in the meantime you CAN take advantage of all you have done and just plug away . . . we're almost there, hon!
When I was in the theater back in the day, I experienced similar anxieties before opening night. We all did. I found that after working for weeks on lines, queues, blocking, and choreography, it was possible to overload and forget buckets of stuff that you had down cold just hours ago. In fact, one superstition about how good opening night was going to be, was how bad the final rehearsal was the night before. If the final rehearsal stank and everyone went up on their lines and the timing was off and the sets fell down, the result was often a truly excellent opening night! I think we all were so tired and overworked and were thinking this was finally the final rehearsal that we just let go and crapped it up. Then, I believe we were affected by the bad rehearsal in two ways: first, some of us were inspired to do better, and concentrated and practiced all the next day in order to nail it opening night; the rest of us were thinking the play was going be an absolute catastrophe and there was nothing we could do to save it, and we relaxed – not being all tensed up about it let the work flow from us with naturalness and purity. Both attitudes resulted in an amazing presentation.
The best thing I heard a director say after a final rehearsal was, "We need another week!" Turns out we didn't.
Bottom line: if you've done all the work and prepared the best you can, when the curtain goes up and the lights hit the stage, be open for the Muse to be upon you, and you will become the character you've worked so hard to be.
You will become the Kelly who's passing the Bar.
God bless you.
If you relax and let go come test time, I bet you'll have instant recall of everything that seems to have flown the coop. It's in there, don't worry. You've been doing so great, I have 100% belief in your skills!!!
As your VT I must add my cheerleading comments. Kelly, no matter what, you're going to be just great.
It's true what they're saying. Sometimes when you loosen your grip on the reins, the horses do their thing.
It must be so hard to relax and have confidence when there's so little time and you feel underprepared. But remember what Elder Scott always tells us: you're doing better than you realize. Have confidence in the preparation and study you've put in. The Lord will help you. Don't forget to include Him.
You're bad, Ms. Kelly. You are one bad bar exam taking mama. Don't forget it.
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