Libra

Even though it's never happened before, today I want the love part of my horoscope to apply:

Expect to fall in love at first sight today, Kelly. A new man will suddenly come on the scene, and an instant attraction will be the result. Whether it turns into anything long term or not is not certain - but you can be sure, whatever happens you'll remember this man for a long time!

Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please

I love the whole instant attraction thing; so romantic. I'm going to the mall later. Maybe that will be our rendezvous point, even though malls usually make me feel oppressed. Wish me luck!

Pool Stories

There is this man I see in the pool occasionally. We'll call him Sad Ponytail Man. I'm not a fan of the male ponytail in general, but find it becomes very, very sad when the ponytail is accompanied with a rapidly receding hairline. Just let it go, man!

Sad Ponytail Man wears flesh colored swimming trunks, just barely held up by his little smidgen of a bum. I'm not totally sure, because I haven't looked that closely because I don't really want to know for sure, but I think the trunks are a wee bit see through as well. Frankly, Sad Ponytail Man kind of gives me the willies.

Guess whose lane had the only space available to swim in yesterday? I just swam quickly by, averting my eyes from the trunks each time I passed.

He got out of the pool midway through my forty laps, but when I finished he called out to me, "You're just flying." Um, ok. You know, it's nice when people compliment my swimming, but I really never know what to say besides Uh-huh and Thank you. Sometimes people ask me how long I've been swimming and when I say since I was 6 years old they look kind of defeated. But on the upside for them, I can't run worth crap. So if you're a runner, you have be beat seventy-five hundred times over. Swimming is just what I do.

Then he said, "I need to learn how to do that swirly turny thing someday." I said, "The flipturn?" If he was hoping I'd offer to teach him, he can hope away.

Next time on Pool Stories: the woman who I think might have been hitting on me.

I keep forgetting to put this in my posts (I'm so proud I'm actually going):

• 72 laps Monday, with a set of 40 in a row (19:30)
• 64 laps Wednesday, with a set of 40 in a row (18:45) and with some butterfly. Butterfly makes me feel strong.

Thinking It Over

"Fear is not of the Lord. You know that."
"I know that."
"So who do you think it's of?"
"The Enemy, of course."
"Bingo! If this weren't right in God's opinion, he would put sensible caution in your heart, not paralyzing fear."

I read this last night in the book I'm currently reading for 20 minutes or so to help me go to sleep.

I don't know if going to DC is the absolute right thing, but I do know that I have been paralyzed with fear and doubts. And I know that it's pointless and only hurting me.

Next weekend I go to DC. I have several networking appointments set up and one appointment with a legal temp agency. I'm supposed to go out with the guy, but I think I may cancel. I feel bad about that, but exactly one month from today my finals will be over. Which means I don't even have a whole month left to catch up on my reading and create my outlines. I need to spend every spare moment reading and preparing. And, oh yeah, the Trusts and Estates final, probably one of the more convoluted classes I've taken, is closed-book. I suppose it's a good prep for the Bar.

Seriously, though, what's up with the Bar? I have heard several attorneys say, "You will know more about the law the day before you take the Bar than you ever will again." And the thing is, you don't really NEED to know it all because everyone specializes and there are books and online databases and all sorts of resources. The Bar just seems like a rite of passage/trial by fire sort of ordeal. But it must be done.

Today in therapy we mapped out my schedule for the coming weeks, which I'm going to hang on my closet door. It made me feel better to see it all written out, and it seems more manageable that way.

I'm looking forward to a month and a day from now. I have a feeling I'll be asleep.

Teaser

Well, yesterday I was all excited. I got a phone call and an email first thing in the morning from an attorney I work with who told me that a big health care provider conglomerate here in Massachusetts was hiring for a fellowship position in their regulatory department. The position was for 3 years and paid a good salary and the person who got it would probably be hired afterwards as well. The attorney gave me a contact name and told me she was interested in talking to me.

So I started thinking about staying here. I've been so ambivalent about leaving. I have my moments where I really hate Boston, and then sometimes I really love it. DC has seemed like a good idea, but at the same time intimidating and very very unsure. And then I started thinking how nice it would be to not have to move and just stay put and be in the familiar. Sure there are things about Boston that drive me nuts. There are things about my apartment that drive me nuts (occasionally crazy roommate and noisy neighbor to name a couple). But overall, I could stay and be content, especially if I had a job I liked and was making a reasonable amount of money that allowed me to make my student loan payment and rent all in the same month. Then in a year or two I could apply to the Harvard and BU Schools of Public Health to work on my MPH part time.

Hopes all dashed this morning. I got an email back from the attorney at the conglomerate telling me that she had the impression from the attorney I worked with that I had graduated a couple of years ago. Their department doesn't hire recent grads. The attorney I work with swears she told her I was graduating in May.

So now I'm feeling really down and deflated. It's amazing how a smidgen of hope can really get me excited and thinking and planning for the future.

I'm so wary of DC and I keep thinking, well maybe the signs are telling me not to go there. I didn't get the job I interviewed for in DC my second year, I didn't get the job I interviewed for in DC last fall, I didn't get into the HHS program, none of the firms I've sent resumes to are interested in me... It's just so disheartening.

Maybe I should just forget this whole thing and move somewhere where there's a beach.

And There Was Great Rejoicing In All the Land

You might argue that 2:19 AM is not the best time to turn in a paper that has taken over a year to complete. And I would say when you're in a last-time-through final edit groove that started at 12:30 AM, you just roll with it.

Yes, I just emailed the paper to my professor. I can't tell you the relief and the abject fear that are duking it out in my head right now. Mostly it's relief. The truth is, I was never going to be happy with this paper. The topic was way too big. Even though it wound up being 21 pages, I feel like I could have taken the sources I used and gone in about 52 different directions, resulting in a dissertation-esque document.

So I read through it one more time and I shipped it off, with much thanks to my professor for her patience. I need to bake her a cake or something. She's fabulous.

However, if she gives me a C, I will cry.

Someday I need to learn how to channel all this energy to a more appropriate time of the day so that I'm super productive at 2:19 PM instead of 2:19 AM. Here's my question for the day: what makes someone a night person versus a day person? For as long as I can remember I've not been a morning person, to the extent that I vividly remember my 5 year-old self wanting to punch my mother when she would traipse into my room singing "Oh What A Beautiful Morning" to wake me up for kindergarten. That's not normal. My brain doesn't really get going until the middle of the afternoon and I'd much prefer to stay late at work to finish a project than to come in early in the morning. I can pull all-nighters with the best of them, and actually think I do my best work at 1 AM while listening to jazz. And when I say jazz I mean Dizzy Gillespie, Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, etc. None of this fusion crap (my apologies to those of you who enjoy the fusion crap).

Now I am going to sleep and hopefully will wake up at 10 AM or thereabouts and go for a swim. One of the perks of not having class until 5:30 PM on Mondays. Of course, I haven't actually done the reading for my 5:30 PM class, so that will be getting done after the swimming.

Say Like I Was Snoop Dogg...

Trying really hard not to laugh out loud and wake up my roommates: check out A Day In An Often Ho-Slappin' Life or a Doggie-Stylin' Life, depending on the time of day apparently.

Scroll down on the page to the link to my blog.

I think I should start going by K-E-Double Lizzy.

Swimming and Splurging

72 laps today!
And I felt like I could do more. It's days like this when I think, "Why did I stop swimming again?" Oh, right, because Bally's is evil and likes to shut down its pool for months at a time. According to a calorie burning calculator I found online, I'm burning 656 calories an hour (I swim a little faster than 50 yards a minute).

Of course this morning's exercise has already been negated by the 1/3 pint of Ben and Jerry's I ate this afternoon (has anyone else tried Dublin Mudslide? Heaven! I'm trying to figure out if the Irish creme liqueur ice cream and the coffee-fudge stripe make it unkosher in the Mormon world And if they do, I'll probably just shrug my shoulders and say, eh). My exercise efforts will be a complete loss tonight as I venture out to The Cheesecake Factory with Liz to celebrate our half birthdays. Let's hear it for chocolate raspberry truffle!

(Is anyone else picking up on my slightly elevated mood since I started swimming again?)

My Thundercats Name is Network-a

Because I know how to work it, baby!

More on the Thundercats in a bit. I am just so pleased with the fruits of my networking efforts. Sean at work hooked me up with one person who has already responded and said we can meet up when I'm in DC in a couple of weeks. He has emails out to four other people on my behalf. Martha of Bridesmaid Posse fame and I will be doing lunch and she has some ideas for me. A woman at HHS who I talked with Tuesday night is circulating my resume. I sat down with Diane, another attorney at work, today and she came up with a whole pageful of ideas for me (I was taking notes), including 3 people she could email my resume to and a couple of people I should send emails to telling them she sent me.

Bear in mind, none of these people have jobs, per se, but I am getting my name and my resume out there in the DC health law and policy world. It's only a matter of time, hopefully, before someone realizes how fabulous I truly am. Only a matter of time...

I am in the greatest Family Home Evening group ever, which translates to mean that everyone is smart and a little wacky and nerdy in the best possible way. We've named ourselves The Thundercats because FHE Group 2 or whatever we are is just SO drab. I looked up the Thundercats the other day and discovered they all have names like Cheetara and Panthro. They're also scarily buff.

64 laps today. I was shooting for 72, but even though the spirit was willing, the flesh was weak. Translation: I felt every inch of yesterday's 64 laps when I woke up this morning. However, today I felt the endorphins kick in. That's the best part. The first day back is always the "why the heck am I doing this?" day, and the second day is when your body starts making you feel like you're doing something illegal. At least that's how it works with me and swimming.

And this is why I do it. Today I stopped by the Gap because they're having a sale and I realized the other day that I have NO Spring or Summer shirts. Only sweaters and long-sleeve shirts. And here's the ego boost for the day: I asked one of the salesgirls in the dressing room if she could grab me a shirt and a sweater in a different size. She looked at the items, which were marked L, and looked at me and said, "Yeah, you need those in a medium, huh?" Yes, that's right, not only can I wear the Medium, but I look like I can wear the Medium. She didn't ask if I needed the XL, but if I needed the M. Hooray!

On another happy note my Health Care Paper (my f***in’ Health Care Paper) is done! I am reading over it once more tomorrow morning and then I am shipping it off to my professor. I hate this paper.

April Fools!

Everyone, go to the Chubby Girl Brigade right now! The comments are hilarious too. I thought someone had hijacked the CGB.

According to Allen my Weather Girl is Hot

Today is a gloomy day. It’s been raining ALL DAY LONG. Not a satisfying Tucson rain where it pours down amidst dramatic lightning and booming thunder that makes the house shake. No, just rain drizzling down, hour after hour after hour.

Because of this and despite having received my swimsuit in the mail, I didn’t swim today like planned, but instead sat on the coach shoving carbs into my face all day (we had sweet potatoes AND mashed potatoes for Easter dinner). OK, that’s not exactly true, because I did get a bunch of reading done and sent off about 20 emails for banquet stuff. So I have been productive, just in a carbalicious kind of way. I must say, I have shown great restraint because the communal Easter basket my roommate bought and filled with candy has been sitting across the room beckoning to me all day. To which I have said “Away with thee, Easter candy! At least until my splurge day on Saturday.”

I also have to add, Blogger is not my best friend. It’s really annoying how often Blogger doesn’t work in one way or another.

It's Springing!

Not only is it a gloriously sunny day here in Boston, but just the other day I noticed little shoots poking through the ground at school. Only a moment ago, I heard a bird singing outside. Honestly singing. I think he realizes it's Spring and Easter and just a lovely day.

Jazz, Baby

Do any of you remember the night I hung out with the cool kids and learned about Hell? No? Really? You mean you don't remember every single thing I've ever written? So hurt...

Well, this month's cool kids night (aka Culture Night) is at my house. Tomorrow night we will be schooled in jazz and I am very excited. I couldn't think of anything really jazzy to serve to eat so I think I'll just get snacky food: popcorn, grapes, etc. Can anyone think of some food that just screams "Jazz!"?

Other than Culture Night, this weekend is ALL ABOUT HOMEWORK. I should post a sign on my bedroom door stating that I am ALL ABOUT HOMEWORK. Because frankly if I don't do a substantial amount this weekend, I may be in danger of failing. Well, ok, not really failing, since we have a forced curve, but of getting C's which means exactly the same thing as failing in my law school world.

So I may or may not be posting this weekend. It depends on if I come up with something profound (you know, like all the other stuff I write). You all are going to be off doing holiday things anyway. Happy Easter! (and isn't Purim this weekend? Do you say Happy Purim?)

Anti-Mormon Stuff

I saw a woman on the T this morning avidly reading Under the Banner of Heaven. I so wanted to sit down next to her and say, A) those guys, NOT Mormon, and B) the group they're affiliated with, NOT Mormon.

Google Ads

Feeling a little miffed that Google AdSense has determined the PERFECT ad to run on the good little Mormon girl's site is one for the missionary turned porn star movie, the idea of which just makes my stomach turn. (I'm not saying the name of the movie because I really don't want people who search for that sort of thing coming straight to my site. They would be sorely disappointed.)

The Swimming Pool Is Calling My Name

In email this morning:
Item: WM L ACTIVE ENDURNC TNK (#98018AH3)
Quantity: 1, Status: Shipped via UPS

Hurrah!

Tense Day

I need to start getting to sleep at a decent time. My big problem is I'm naturally nocturnal. My most productive working hours are generally sometime after 4 PM and can last until 3 AM or so. If I stay up past a certain point (like around 11:30) I am then up for awhile. For instance, last night I was doing some stuff for my calling until about midnight and realized my eyes were getting progressively heavier and heavier. However, I went to bed and couldn't actually get to sleep until almost 2 AM.

Here it is, though, already 10 PM and there are about 400 things I should work on. I think I should really just go to bed.

Today was weird. First, I'm the President of the Health Law Society, right? There's been a small email back and forth going on between me and this one girl. Last week she emailed me pointing out that there was a diversity event at the same time as our meeting and she thinks that organizations should support one another, etc etc. I wrote back and said thank you for letting me know, I agree it would be nice if we didn't have to schedule a meeting with a conflict, but since there is so little time in the week (2 hours and 15 minutes per week to be exact) within which the entire student body doesn't have class, there are always going to be conflicts. The meeting had already been postponed several times for conflicts and we really just needed to have one.

Well last week in the emails leading up to the meeting and at the meeting itself I asked the members for ideas on topics they would like to have speakers for. Yesterday this same girl emailed me suggesting an idea with a certain professor as the speaker. I emailed her back last night and said thanks for the idea. I asked her if she would like to get in touch with the prof. Then I forwarded her email to the other officers and one of them told me she has a class with that prof and could talk to him. I said go ahead and emailed the girl telling her that the officer would talk to the prof, thinking it would be more convenient since the girl doesn't have a class with him.

WELL, then I got an email from her. First, she expressed how displeased she was about my taking away her duty of talking to the prof. Second, she then proceeded to tell me how the members of the HLS felt excluded from the decision-making process and how she is not the only one who feels this way, but another girl who she went to grad school with feels the same way.

First instinct: tell her to go **** herself.

Upon reflection, realize may be acting hastily.

So I worked on an email for a couple of hours, trying to tweak it just so. I did apologize for usurping the talking to the prof thing and explained that I just thought it would be more convenient for the officer to talk to him than for her to try to seek him out in her spare time. Then I pointed out that we had officer elections at the beginning of the year and in my mind, it is the responsibility of the officers to run things. THEN I discussed how the HLS is brand new this year and we are still working out kinks. Not only that, but working with all different schedules is very difficult, especially considering that both last semester and this semester I am only on campus on ONE of the days when there is a common lunch hour (when no classes are scheduled. It's not even an hour even, but 45 minutes). If she is interested in changing how things are handled, then I recommed she work with the officers and members next year to enact her ideas.

Lastly, I pointed out that I have always solicited ideas and feedback in ALL of the emails I send to the listserv as well as at meetings. I have always made myself very available to the members. I thanked her for her willingness to help and asked her to please bear in mind that this is a fledgling organization.

About 20 minutes after I sent the email, I got a response from her. She was very contrite and nice and gave me the impression that she had been reflecting on her first email since she sent it in the morning. She said she really appreciated my email and my explanations about how everyone is very busy and the HLS is brand new. She said she is excited about helping out with the event and working with the officer on it. So, water under the bridge, but I was very tense about it for most of the day. See, this is the first organization that I have ever started and Health Law is near and dear to my heart. I want to give the members a positive experience, especially those who, like this girl, are interested in a Health Law career.

However, one of the officers pointed out, and I must agree, I am the queen of diplomacy.

Seriously, I should make this a career.

Second, I went out for cocktails and mocktails with a few people from work and found out that one of the other law clerks is starting as a new associate in the fall. Whaaa? OK, I know one of the attorneys will be leaving at the end of the summer when she has her baby. I didn't know if they would be hiring new attorneys or if they'd want someone more experienced. I actually debated asking about it, but I really don't think I want to be in Boston. More to the point, because of some office politics, I don't think I want to work at that firm permanently. It's more about moving to DC, though. So I decided not to inquire

I suppose I'm just a teensy bit hurt that no one bothered to mention to me that they were looking to hire a brand new associate. And I've been there almost a year longer than the clerk they hired. However, I understand it. They know I'm looking at DC. In fact a few of the attorneys are working on hooking me up with contacts down there. The girl they hired is from Mass, her boyfriend is from Mass, she will most likely be here for the rest of her life and be perfectly happy to be here.

But, you know, there's still that teensy hurt part. Yes, I know it's irrational, but when did I claim to be rational?

I am very happy for her though. What a load off her mind!

Now let's just find me a job.

Inspiration

I first saw Kassandra Okvath on the How Did They Do That show for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. In case you don't know the story, Kassandra had kidney cancer and stayed at University Medical Center in Tucson. After her cancer went into remission she wrote Extreme Makeover and asked them to make over the pediatric cancer ward at UMC for the kids who have to stay there. Well, the show came in and fixed up the cancer ward beautifully AND they knocked down the family's small little ranch house and built them a beautiful new home with enough room for the entire 6-kid family! I had to leave 20 minutes into the show, but I was already crying.

I just saw Kassandra on Ellen and am crying again. She makes jewelry to raise money for cancer and gave a necklace to Ellen. Each of the beads has a special meaning and I doubt if there was a dry eye in that audience as she explained the meaning of the beads.

I just love this story and think Kassandra is such a doll.

The Moral of the Story: It's A Good Idea to Go to Church

No, this isn't another tale about the guy and his "life is a morality play" point of view. This is actually my own story.

After listing everything I am doing/supposed to be doing the other day, I realized how much is actually going on. Making a list of all the big projects does that. I started thinking about where I could ease up a bit and of course *calling* popped out in glowing neon letters because that's really a volunteer position after all and I'm sure there are 47 other people who could do it as well, if not better, than I do. I thought about setting up an appointment with the bishop to ask him if I could take a little break, or maybe get a companion in the grand tradition of the church (see also mission, visiting teaching, and home teaching).

What is my calling, you ask? I coordinate Sacrament Meetings. I'm sure I've mentioned this before. But what this means is I pick two topics, call two speakers to speak on those topics, get people to say the prayers, and coordinate music with the music director every single Sunday. All the Mormons are thinking, "Wait a second there, girlie, what about Fast Sunday?" OK, so 3 Sundays out of 4 I do this. Fast Sunday I just have to get the prayers and music done. As the bishop has told me on numerous occasions, this is usually the job of the bishopric.

The thing is, I love my calling. It is probably the most daunting calling I have ever received because the women who have done it before me always struck me as spiritual giants and so in tune. I feel like God took the qualifying criteria down a notch when he picked me. And since the bishop AND the woman who had the calling before me both came up with my name independently when they were contemplating who to pass the torch to, I feel like it really is what I’m supposed to be doing in the ward.

When I started, I had a couple of missteps, but I feel like I’ve figured out the best way to determine what the ward needs – by reading my scriptures. Over the last few months, all of my ideas have come straight from Sunday School class, which is based in the scriptures, or my own personal reading. I’ve heard that people have enjoyed the meetings so I think I’m doing a little something right - or, rather, I'm listening well. :)

And now I have been thinking about stopping, or at least telling the bishop I need a break. Today before Sacrament Meeting started I was sitting alone in a pew reading through some scriptures about the temple. Suddenly - it was like someone was talking to me - I thought “Well, the best thing to do would be to use my scripture study time to plan Sacrament Meetings.” Just like that. Like it was the most sensible idea ever. I am far from perfect with reading my scriptures and usually read 3-4 times a week. However, if I take that time to really search them for topics and to think about who the speakers should be, I feel like I will be using that time well.

I felt better after that – calmer.

Today was ward conference and the Stake Presidency spoke. The 1st Counselor ended his talk with a thought that I felt was directed right at me. He said for those of you who are feeling overwhelmed, the solution is to put things in order. When you are doing the most important things first, everything else will fall into place.

I have heard this idea many times, but it really struck me forcibly, considering the thoughts I had been having a half hour earlier. Especially since the Stake Presidency told us they had prepared talks for the meeting, but after meeting in Ward Council this morning, they felt they needed to go in a different direction and spoke off the cuff. It felt like a confirmation that I am heading down the right path.

Planning Sacrament Meetings and working in the temple matter. All the other things matter too, but in a different way, and they will work out because they always do when I’m doing things in the correct order. I’ve learned this lesson before, when I was a counselor in the Relief Society during undergrad, taking 5 classes, and working 25-30 hours a week. It all worked because every single Sunday for 8-10 hours I did Relief Society work and I planned Homemaking once a month and I went out to visit the sisters who didn’t get visit taught. Since I’ve learned this before, you’d think it would stick, wouldn’t you? Someone told me once that we are tested in the same ways over and over again, with the situation tweaked a little. I have my personal demons, you have your personal demons, and those demons come back again and again. The key is to remember the prior lessons. Yeah, I’m not the best at that.

On another note: our Easter concert is tonight and I hope it all comes together. Right now, I hope I get my voice back. I was having a really hard time hitting the higher notes today in practice, notes that shouldn’t be too hard for me with some good breath support. So I won’t be talking for the next two hours and we’ll see if that helps.

Elevator Etiquette

There is a very slow elevator at my school. A couple of times a day I leave class on the first floor and take the elevator up to the fourth floor where I go to the Board of Student Advisors office ostensibly to do homework, often reading blogs. I am not averse to walking up 3 flights of stairs, but with the 75 pounds of law books and computer on my back, the elevator seems like the option least likely to result in me collapsed in a heavy-breathing puddle at the top of the stairwell.

However, if one more person gets on at the second floor and off on the third floor I may snap. It's not just that the elevator moves slowly, it's that the doors open and close slowly, and there's always some sort of delay before it starts moving again. Unless you are disabled, I say to you, walk up the one freakin' flight of stairs!

And don't even get me started on the people in my building at work whose company has three floors and an internal stairwell and yet they still feel compelled to get on at 11 and take the elevator down to 10.

Libra

Why does my horoscope always assume that I have a boyfriend? Today's, for example:

Your romantic partner looks especially attractive, and probably is in a great mood. You might decide to attend a lecture together, or perhaps plan a weekend getaway. Communication between the two of you is open,
honest, supportive, and loving.

There is no contingency horoscope for those of us sans significant others. Obviously I'm doing something wrong, astrologically speaking.

Jenny Sue Has A Baby

Jen in Berkeley (formerly Chicago Jen) and her husband James welcomed Memphis William last Wednesday. There were some complications, which is why there are a couple of tubes and things in his pictures , but from all reports he's going to be just fine.

Congratulations! (oh and I hope Stewf doesn't mind me latching onto his pictures)

Time Machine

There is some crrrazy stuff on ebay.

Boys I Have Loved - Or At Least Liked A Whole Lot

I took this idea from Heather

Matt Mills, of the Kingsport, TN Mills: I think I was 3 and he was 4 when our passion first ignited. We were separated by the pain of ward boundaries. My ward met in the morning, his ward met in the afternoon. But while my parents were chatting with friends I would dash to the Primary Room where Matt would meet me, having pretended to be headed to the bathroom. We would sit in the hall, gazing into each other's eyes and talking. (I don't actually remember, but I'm assuming the conversations ran along the lines of, "Do you like spinach?" "Ick, no!" "I hate when my mommy makes me eat it"). Alas, our romance was cut short by my family's move to Tucson. When we came back to Kingsport for Christmas when I was 8, Matt still thought I was hot stuff, apparently, and asked me to be his girlfriend. Since I haven't heard from him in 20 years, I'm assuming I'm not still bound by that agreement.

Craig from swim team: Craig was my summer romance when I was 7. Our days together consisted of swim practice at 8 AM, mornings at either Craig's or my house, lunch at the morning house, then afternoons at whichever house we weren't at in the morning. Fond memories of Craig include sitting across from each other on an innertube in his pool, bouncing, and shrieking the Goonies theme song by Cyndi Lauper at the top of our lungs.

Jon from New Kids on the Block: I'm pleading peer pressure on this one. My friend Desiree had pictures of NKOTB all over her wall. I mean ALL OVER. I don't think there was an inch of blank wall in her bedroom. I would awake after a slumber party with those boys staring at me. I could only resist their pull for so long. History has proven my penchant for the shy, awkward one of the group, as well as for the h-less Jon.

Johnny Depp on 21 Jump Street: Truth be told, I still love him. Richard Grieco had NOTHING on Johnny Depp.

Matthew Perry: You may think I love him as Chandler on Friends, and you would be right. However, my passion for Matthew goes all the way back to his brief stint on Growing Pains, playing the soulful, yet tragically flawed, boyfriend of Carol Seaver. His tragic flaw was that of drinking at high school parties, and unfortunately Matthew was sacrificed in the name of a "just say no to drunk driving" episode.

Freddie: I knew of Freddie in high school, but never talked to him until our American Revolution history class my Junior year at the University of Arizona. Unfortunately, Freddie was engaged at the time and is probably happily married now, blah blah blah. I already knew he was one of the nicest guys I had ever talked to, when an innocent phone call made me love him. He called to talk about class and when I told him I was watching "Mad About You" he said, "Oh, what channel?" He flipped over and when he realized it was the episode when they almost broke up he said, "Oh no! I hate this episode. It's so sad." Not only was he man enough to admit that he watched Mad About You, but he knew the episode after about 5 seconds of watching it.

And if anyone says anything against his manhood, I'll beat you up.

Bill Pullman in While You Were Sleeping: The perfect man. Wryly funny, sensitive, thoughtful, and he works with his hands. Swoon.

Guy with the dreamy blue eyes in my Trusts & Estates class: I don't know his name, but he has great eyes and a lovely deep voice. He could just talk to me all day and I'd be happy.

Brendan Fraser: Love him. But he's married. 'Cause you know, otherwise, I'd have a shot.

Breakfast Club - Best Teen 80s Movie EVER - oh, except for Say Anything

You're Claire Standish! A "princess" with
a dysfunctional family. You're known for:
shopping, being center of attention, and playing
miss popularity. But really though you hate
it... with john Bender as a boyfriend, I'm sure
people will start to get the hint.

Which Breakfast Club Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I think it was the lunch question that did it - I answered sushi. That was a tough question because I do love me some pixie sticks.

But, hey, I get to go out with John Bender. Score!

Hey Mama

So this freaked me out today. Stacy from Kids, Incorporated is Fergie from the Black-Eyed Peas.

Weird.

I Want My Own Island

Today, Dr. Phil had Part 3 of pre-marital boot camp. I didn't watch the first 2 parts, but as I was watching the re-cap all I could think was, do these people actually, you know, have a conversation before they get engaged? How can you decide to marry someone when you haven't talked about sexual needs and desire, regardless of whether or not you're waiting until you get married? These things need to be discussed. My ex and I probably over-discussed sex, if the truth be known. ;) Another question from today's show: how is a marriage supposed to work if the man is actually living in the basement because the woman needs her space?

But anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is to show you where I want to go on my honeymoon should I ever happen to get married. Dr. Phil is sending the Pre-Newlywed Game-winning couple to this place. So if you're a cute-ish Mormon guy who could get on board with a private island in Belize, shoot me an email.

Should I Buy These?

Since my mom is too busy to check her email lately, I thought I'd poll the internet community at large for advice. So, should I buy these?

Pros:
1) I cook a lot and would love to have a decent set of pots and pans. Right now I use the $30 Wal-Mart Special set that I bought 4 years ago. Oh, and the 2 saute pans my parents got me for Christmas last year. Those are still in great condition. (Tip: when the Teflon starts to flake off, it's time to throw the pans away. I didn't realize I could be POISONED by Teflon. Or at the very least, get a stomach-ache).
2) I like to cook big pots of chili and homemade soup when it's cold. The Wal-Mart Special stockpot isn't big enough so I bought another pot on sale somewhere. However, the pot isn't stainless steel or all-clad or copper or anything like that so even when it's just simmering I always wind up with a little black present glued onto the bottom of the pot when I'm done because it doesn't heat evenly. Especially when I'm using gas burners, which I am. This set comes with an 8 qt stockpot, which sounds perfect.
3) They're pretty.

Cons:
1)I still live with roommates and worry about the respect that my nice pots and pans will get. I'll probably be living with roommates next year too.
2) (um, I can't really think of another con)

Yes, the pros seemingly outweigh the cons, but I am torn.

Looking Inward

I've been feeling introspective. That's what reading O magazine (as in Oprah) will do to you. That and finishing the second in a series of young adult books that are way too deep to just be for teenagers.

Oprah's February issue was all about love, and there were 4 whole pages about being a single woman. What I really liked about all the articles, not just the single lady articles, is how much they emphasized how vital it is to be a complete person yourself before you become part of a couple. I know that, of course, having heard it so many times, but it's only recently that I've really been able to feel it for myself.

Another good thing in the articles was that the majority of the married woman got married at an older age than I am right now. There is hope!

The only thing that worries me as I become this complete self is, will that important quality of Mormon be a part of my future boyfriend/husband candidates, or is that a pipe dream I need to let go of and just let myself be with someone who understands that it is a part of me, but he doesn't share it?

I've been reflecting lately about the many ways I've changed in the past few years.

- I have collected Victorian Christmas ornaments since I was about 9 or so. Every Christmas I get 2 or 3 new ones to add to my collection. The thing is, as I get older, I like the frou-frou ones less and less. I want to do an inventory next Fall and try to sell some of them on ebay. I have a large collection of rose, cream, and baby blue lacey ornaments, but now my tastes run to the more elegantly simple. I like rich colors and simple lines, not the laciness that used to appeal to me.

- Adding to the new simplicity. My favorite decorating magazine is now Real Simple, versus my old favorite, Victoria. In fact, I have a large collection of Victoria magazines that I have carried from Tucson to Chicago to Boston. I don't think I want to take them to DC - at least not all of them. That's a big step for me to admit. Anyone want some back issues of Victoria?

- I am more comfortable with who I am. I used to hold myself in, revealing the true, sweet yet sassy me to only a select few. Now I am okay with many people seeing the real me. I'm more at ease with saying what I really mean. And you know what I'm finding out? People like the real me. That person who I was so afraid would be ridiculed and hurt in some way, is actually appreciated and loved. I feel like I have more friends now who know the real me than I ever have at any other point in my life.

- In a similar vein, I am less concerned about what others think. I've always cared so very much.

- I have shaken off my shyness - well a lot of it. Honestly, I struggle every time I am in a new social situation or surrounded by a group of people I don't know. I struggle against my natural impulse to shuffle off to the corner and just watch, silently pleading with the crowd to talk to me. What I now realize is practically no one is at ease in those situations. So now I'm the one walking up to people and smiling and welcoming them. Or at least I manage to do that with 1 or 2 people. Give me a break, I'm still working on this.

It has even gotten to the point that a few weeks ago when I went to a reception at the Boston Bar Association, I felt energized upon leaving. That has never happened before. Usually I feel dead tired after having extended myself so much.

One of the articles I read today talked about being happy in the moment right now. It's so easy to have that forward-thinking frame of mind where I tell myself I'm just biding my time until I get married. For instance, sometimes I get all panicky thinking about how I'd like to have children and how I'm never going to get my student loans paid off in time and I'll never be able to have those kids.

WHAT kids?!

I don't even have a boyfriend, where are these kids coming from exactly?

Instead of being all freaked out about the loans and the imaginary kids, I need to embrace the fact that in 3 months I will have a JD, and a few months after that I will have (hopefully) passed the Bar and be a real attorney. If all goes well I will be working in health care law and I will be enveloped in a learning curve so steep that I will probably be a wee bit overwhelmed at times. But that's awesome! There is so much happening right now. This isn't just a green room for real life, beginning once that man wanders in on stage right. This IS real life, and if I don't embrace it, I know I'll regret it.

By the way, the crab legs were superb! I'm sorry you all couldn't come to Catfish Dewey's with us.

Yet Another Addition to the Annals of Disturbing Commercial Mascots

The Lamisil toe fungus demon/goblin. I think the most disturbing bit is when the little lime green with purple splotches thing with a Jersey accent LIFTS UP THE BIG TOENAIL and crawls underneath. Eeeek!

What is up with the advertising execs today that this seemed like a GREAT idea?

Various Thoughts

This time last week I was feeling so excited because of this guy and, oh my gosh, it was so sweet how he told me he was interested in getting to know me better. I just don't know if I'm feeling it anymore.

But really, what else do I have to do with my spare time? I can keep emailing him forever, or until he gets sick of my emails. Whichever comes first. I wonder if he's feeling it anymore. I should ask him, "Dude, are you feelin' it?"

Tonight we went to a family favorite - Antonio's. It's an Italian restaurant nearby and my family has been going there since before I was born. In fact, a waitress there used to dote on me when I was a baby. Then she had her own baby and stopped working there, but my parents heard later that she named the baby Kelly after me. So somewhere there's a 27 year-old named after me. That's weird to think about sometimes.

I highly recommend Antonio's for the loud Italian waitstaff and the garlic-infused rolls. We all smell like garlic in this house tonight and it's fabulous!

Sunday night is all you can eat snow crab legs and I can hardly wait! My cousin Jen and I are the reigning crab leg champions. When I was 13 and she was 15 we ate my grandpa and her dad under the table. Then a couple of years ago we out-ate her dad again (my grandpa passed away in the interim. I have to give Papaw props for teaching me all I know. When I was very small he used to crack my crab legs for me and let his own dinner get cold. That's love, people. We take our seafood very seriously in my family). So the plan is, no eating until Sunday night. And they can keep their french fries and cole slaw. I'm onto them. They want me to fill up on starchy crap, but I don't think so. I'm here for the crab legs!

Sea Water Gives My Hair Volume and Bounce

Well, I've discovered the secret to reigniting the curl in my hair. When I was little I had curly hair, but it straightened into a semi-wavy state. I blow dry it straight and smooth it out with Matrix Simply Straight smoothing serum (I get no money for product endorsements. Although I feel I should, really) I actually have some random ringlets around my forehead and at the nape of my neck.

So I went to the beach today and dove in and out of the waves a bit, despite the man-o-war warnings. My take on that is, if there are three 10 year-old boys boogie boarding where the waves break and they're not intermittently screaming in agony, I figure there can't be a lot of jellyfish out there.

I let my hair air dry and now it's bouncy and curly, albeit a bit frizzy. Why can't I dip my head in the ocean every day? My hair would be so cute!

Oh and I did not kill anyone in the Suburban today. Hurrah! However, I had to do about a 7 point turn to get into the tiny little shopping center parking space so I could buy a Jamba Juice. I said several little prayers that I wouldn't scrape the teal Mitsubishi on the right side of me because I have no depth perception in that thing and know that I am at least 4 times bigger than the nearest SUV. Except for the Hummer that pulled in as I was leaving.

I'm A Walking Freakshow

Since the above subject line can be interpreted in several different ways, allow me to clarify. I woke up this morning with a tiny little sunburned patch on my chest. Realizing that there was no aloe vera gel in the house and realizing that I haven't actually moved more extensively than my loop of pool-kitchen-pool-bathroom-pool-couch-pool since Sunday I thought I'd take a little walk down to KMart. I timed it as I walked and figured out that it's about a mile there. First off, except for two jogging moms with strollers who I passed I was the only person on foot. Most people driving by me looked over with a "What the...?" look on their faces. I'm going to imagine that the looks were on account of my sexy sashay (and I think that's probably the case for the landscapers and DHL delivery man who slowed down their trucks as they drove by and pointedly stared).

You don't walk in South Florida. It's just not done. Besides, how would you show off your new Beamer or Jag if you walked places, I ask you? My aunt and my grandma live 5 whole blocks apart (they're longish blocks, but still) and my grandma offered to come pick me up at my aunt's and drive me over there when I wanted to visit.

You don't walk in Tucson either, which is where I grew up. In fact, it took me about a year of living in Chicago without a car to really appreciate walking. Now I actively like to walk. One of the things that sort of worries me about moving someplace where I use my car to get from Point A to Point B all the time is that I will forget how nice it is to just take a walk. Hopefully I won't.

Because of the little sunburn, I am staying in today. My grandma just went and got a beach sticker for one of her cars so I can go to my favorite beach and not have to pay. I say car, but really I should say one of her behemoths. She and her husband Dave have a Suburban and a big mother pick-up truck. Why a couple in their sixties, one with a bad back, need two giant trucks that they need to climb into is beyond me. She got the beach sticker for the Suburban and honestly the idea of driving that thing terrifies me. I like little zippy cars. So please, say a little prayer for me that I won't kill myself or anyone else tomorrow when I hit the streets of Boca in the Suburban.

Worrisome

He mentioned tangentally that he was in some sort of medieval recreation group in college.

Not judging. Keeping open mind.

Profound Thought

Maybe we'd be good for each other. He'd curb my insanity when I need it, and I'd rock him out a little (in a pure Mormon sort of way, of course).

The truth is, we're exchanging emails (no, he's NOT from an online site) because it seems like a good way to get to know each other. I think I might suggest phone calls because even with little smiley faces, email can be very one-dimensional.

For the record, I am now 125% tanner than I was when I left Boston two days ago. Since I had no access to a car today - my aunt and uncle having taken both of them to selfishly go to work - I sat out by the pool and listened to breeze rustle through the palm trees. My aunt has created a lush oasis surrounding the pool. As I lay there on my stomach, my towel covering my face (because my face always burns more quickly than the rest of me, listening to trance music on my iPod, realized that I too would someday like an oasis. It's always been my dream to have a lap-length pool, and now I am tacking on a surrounding oasis.

Thanks to the person who made the beautiful comment. And to the person who sent the scandalous email about me to Jerilyn. If your goal was to both flatter and creep me out a little, you succeeded, my friend.

Overanalysis Galore!

In case you don't know, I am an expert at overanalysis. And of course my best examples of overanalysis concern guys. So here's the latest:

I think he's too *good* for me. I don't mean that in the "I'm not worthy" sense, I mean that in the "I think if he knew the sexual innuendo that flies through my head and, on occasion, out of my mouth, he would be shocked and appalled" sense. I have yet to see an edge. And I think he may have made a Shakespeare allusion tonight in the same vein as someone who is a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism might. But I'm not sure, so I'm not going to judge him on that one yet.

At first, the goodness appealed to me. It still does since it's very handy to have someone around who you know you can depend on. He wasn't someone who I immediately thought, "Oh, he's cute" but he was someone who impressed me as being a genuinely good person. In the end that means infinitely more than "oh, he's cute." I thought, "This could work. I can be good too." That lasted a couple of days.

All I have to say is I hope the guy busts out with some sarcasm and something that makes me think he's less holy than I think he is or this is never going to progress past friendship.

Is it a bad thing that I want a slightly unholy guy? As a good Mormon girl shouldn't I want to be with someone who could be a Seventy someday? I think this is why I will be nice and comfy in the Terrestial Kingdom.

The Sunshine State

I'm in Florida and it's fabulous. The weather is so lovely and I saw on the news tonight that it snowed/is snowing in Boston and really all I have to say to that is "Ha ha" in a Nelson Muntz voice. I didn't go to the beach today because it has been super windy and the last time I went to the beach on a windy day I wound up getting sandblasted. So while my skin was glowing and exfoliated, I was picking sand out of my hair for several days. It really gets in there. However, I have been in and out of the sun all day and hanging out in my swimsuit and shorts because you have to be prepared, after all. I also slept in this morning and did not set my alarm, which I haven't done in weeks.

My aunt and uncle remodeled their house and I told them it's like staying at the Hotel Bloom. Just yesterday I read something about Greece and thought once again how much I want to go there someday. Watching the Olympics made me long to go there, with the blue blue ocean and sky and the white buildings. I walked into the newly redone guest room here and guess what the color scheme is? Blue and white. So peaceful.

And as for the guy, we're talking. We'll see what happens.

I Can't Live Up To This Sort of Pressure

So there's this guy, right? He seems to think I'm pretty cool. He says I have grace. But I wonder if he has the wrong impression of me. Maybe he has the "Kelly looks so sweet" impression of me that leaves people shocked and appalled when I use sarcasm or tell them I like the Pixies or see things through the lens of sexual euphemism. Apparently I just don't look like that type of girl. What concerns me a bit is he seems like a super nice, quality guy. But is that all, or is there more than meets the eye (like me)? I'm hoping that maybe he has a bit of an edge that I haven't seen yet. I know a few of his friends wield sarcasm expertly so I'm thinking there may be an edgy piece to him.

Today's Post Is Brought To You By the Letter F

F is for...
Florida
Family
Fun
Fabulous Tan

Ok, that last one isn't strictly an F, I admit it, but I'm excited. In only 3 days I take off for sunny southeast Florida for my Spring Break. Florida is the place to be. Of the 5 people I've asked about their plans today, 5 of them have said they're going to Florida. According to the weather people at least the beginning of the week will be warm and sunny. I have a paper to finish so I'll use those cloudy blechy days for that. Hooray! Let's hear it for Florida and the beach and the sun and warmth! I'm hoping that the man-of-wars are at a minimum this year and I'll actually be able to go snorkling. Last year there were too many for good snorkling.

Speaking of which. Scariest experience of my life: One summer day I went to the beach to watch the sunrise and take some pictures. About an hour after the sun came up, I decided to swim out to the reef to snorkle a bit. Bear in mind, I was the only one on the beach, but I'm a strong swimmer so this didn't phase me. I swam out and as I reached the reef I saw this large (probably about 4 feet long) barracuda just hovering over the reef. Barracuda have a reputation of being very aggressive (think Finding Nemo. You know the big ugly fish that eats the mom and all the babies? That's a barracuda). I had never seen one that big that close to shore. Floating nearby were three or four man-of-wars. I have never been stung by one and I really didn't want this to be my first time, especially since I was the only one on the beach. I turned around quickly and started swimming back only to almost run head-first into another man-of-war. How it's tentacles didn't get me I will never know. I literally started praying to just be able to get back into shore. I made it, my heart pounding like crazy. Needless to say, I didn't go back in the water that morning and when more people showed up I told them about the jellyfish.

This is the beach I usually go to:






I can't wait!

Another Addition to the Annals of Disturbing Commercial Mascots

A pink, living, breathing, walking, talking colon polyp. Oh yes. A grown man dressed up as a colon polyp. I didn't catch what the commercial was for; I think it may have been for colon cancer awareness. However, I find that the educational message gets lost when your audience is staring, mouth agape, at the horror that is the mascot.

Chocolate Cake

I just have to share my torture. The health care partner's birthday is today and they bought him this fabulous chocolate mousse cake. How do I know it's fabulous? Because it's the exact same cake they bought me for my birthday last year. But I am strong, I can resist.

How To Blog

I'm at work, to which you might say "Shouldn't you be working?" to which I might respond, "Shut up. Like you've never surfed the web at work." I figure I have a good hour or so per work day for all those cigarette and coffee breaks I don't take.*

So I found this today telling me how to blog. Well, obviously I've messed up #5 - if my friends and my family didn't read I'd have like 5 whole hits a day. I want to feel popular. However, it does put a damper on really spilling my guts online if I happen to be annoyed at say, my mom, or one of the Jen/Jenns. (I'm not annoyed at you, guys! It's called an example) I have managed to talk about religion and politics, though, per #13, and I've even managed to talk about sex a bit, although granted it's toned-down Mormon single girl sex talk. Maybe I should just throw in the word penis now and then for good measure so you all feel like you're getting your money's worth. I'm also not following #14, but I like my little weather girl. As long as she's not naked when it's 90 degrees out. Although that may get me more hits and make me feel popular. Hmmm. Well I'll make that decision when I reach that moral crossroads. And as for #4, I don't cuss in real life so writing that way isn't really me and I want the blog to be honest, after all.


* For the record I've been researching something incredibly frustrating for the past 2 hours and needed a little break.

Party Planning

Does anyone know what happened on Gilmore Girls tonight? My TV got commandeered by the Westminster Dog Show contingent in my apartment. I like watching the dogs too, but I would have liked it better if I could have figured out how to make the VCR tape one channel while we watched another. We just got digital cable and I haven't figured that out yet. I tried right before the dog show started and tried every combination of cords and plugs that I could think of, but I couldn't make it work. I'm usually pretty savvy with the whole VCR thing - I've never had a VCR I couldn't program. I'll have to give it another try after the dog show ends.

So I'm organizing this Advocacy Banquet, right? Last year we had the banquet at this fancy hotel downtown and it was a very nice affair. A few weeks ago I started calling around for venues and arranging to meet with people in the Alumni Office and the Dean's office to get the ball rolling. The ball is currently at a standstill.

First, I met with a woman in the Alumni Office who made it pretty clear that the banquet is not a priority for them. I had tried for 2 weeks to meet with her and we finally got a time we could both meet. I told her exactly what I needed: a budget number. The guy in the Alumni Office who worked with us last year no longer works for BC so I told this woman that he had previously told us what the budget would be and that's why I was coming to see her. To get the budget number. So I go in and sit down in her office and she asks how much we spent last year and I tell her and she says "Weeellll, I'll have to check with {insert name} and come up with a number for you."

Huh?

That was the reason I came to see her and she didn't have it. Then she asks me why it costs so much and why we have it at the fancy hotel. I told her it was my understanding that it was a nice event and alumni were encouraged to come, etc. She looked skeptical and said, "Well, I heard last year only 4 alums came." I really don't know if this is true or not, but I got the impression that she thinks this is a frivolous event. She told me she would check on the budget and be in touch. I haven't heard from her yet and just emailed her again. I feel blown off.

Then I met with someone in the Dean's office who helps us get details arranged like invitations and programs. While we were talking, the Dean of Students came in and told me to hold off on making any plans because the budget may be less than last year. She would be meeting with all the deans the next day and would know more after that. Come to find out, because there are two new moot court teams this year, we have $8,000 or so less than last year. However, despite several emails I still have no concrete budget number.

In the meantime, the fancy hotel we had the banquet at last year is sort of holding a room for us and the rep is willing to work with us once I have a concrete number. But I can't do ANYthing until I have a budget.

The bummer is, both the lady in the Alumni Office and the Dean of Students office suggested we have it in the Snack Bar. The Snack Bar is this big common area with couches and tables and chairs. It was refurbished last year, but it is soooo not a nice venue at all. This morning in the shower I was thinking, 'Well, maybe we could get some tulle and nice flower arrangements and make it decent..." Yeah, no. Tacky tacky tacky. And the walls are this institutional lemon yellow. What am I supposed to do with that?

Also, I think I may have to ask for a committee to get everything organized. Adrienne, the girl who organized it last year, did it all on her own, but A) she had a budget (that's key), and B) she already had a job and wasn't job hunting right now too in addition to working and going to class.

Anyway, this is just stressing me out because I want us to have a nice event and feel like no one in the administration really gives a crap. Grrrr.

Did I mention they get $30,000 a year from every single one of the 850 or so students? It's such a racket. I think they can cough up $12,000 for a banquet.

Back in Boston

Yep, I'm back. I drove 9 1/2 hours today and have class in about 40 minutes. Whoopty do. You'd think I would skip class, but I actually missed it once already because of the blizzard and Boston College's sadistic Jesuit ethic that only allowed the school to be closed for 1/2 a day after we had 3 feet of snow. Classes went on, but I couldn't actually get out of my neighborhood. Since the class only meets once a week, I figure I shouldn't miss it more than once this semester.

Anyway, the rest of the whirlwind DC weekend:

Sunday I went to Colonial 2nd ward (and was apparently in Relief Society 2. Does anyone else think rather than splitting Colonial into 2 wards they should have split it into 3 or 4 wards?) I enjoyed it, but of course it doesn't feel as homey as Longfellow Park 2nd here in Boston. I'm encouraged by the fact that Kristina and several of her friends love their bishop. Bishops do so much in setting the tone of the ward, whether it's welcoming or not. One of my friends from Boston taught Sunday School so of course I went and participated. I think Sunday School teacher is such a thankless job. People seem much more reticent about talking in Sunday School than in Relief Society (and I'm just going to take a guess that the guys talk more in Elders Quorum).

Last night Kristina made dinner and 3 of her friends came over, including a woman who is an attorney. We talked law and job market for awhile and she enthusiastically endorsed being in DC. She went to law school there and has worked there for a few years. All of us had a great time. I don't think I've laughed so much in awhile.

So that's the DC weekend and after driving back up here (and paying WAY too much for tolls in the process. One toll was $6. $6!!!), I feel like I may be done in New England. When I returned to Chicago after visiting law schools in Boston in April of 2002 I had this very definite feeling that my time in Chicago was complete.

Oh, and Splurge Day is going to be much more tame next month. After several Krispy Kremes, a piece of cheesecake, a few Fun Size Butterfingers, and a homemade chocolate mousse I felt pretty low by the time I went to bed last night.


I have a feeling if I do move down to DC my Southern accent is going to return with a vengeance. We lived in Tennessee when I was ages 2-6, which are pretty formative language years so I moved to Tucson with a definite drawl. One of Kristina's friends is from Virginia and her roommate is from Texas, and after spending some time with them I really had to concentrate when I spoke to keep from drawling my words.

LIVE from Washington, DC!

Actually, it's Arlington, VA, but close enough. According to my old roommate who I'm staying with Arlington used to be part of DC, but they gave it back to Virginia, which is why the diamond of DC is actually a 3-sided diamond with a chunk taken out of the southwest side. And I'm really hoping for a Trivial Pursuit question about that in the near future because I could just wow everyone.

So here I am, trying to decide what to do with my life. Not to jumpt the gun, but I think I'm probably going to move down here (there are enough qualifiers in that sentence that if I actually don't move, no one can say I lied).

I got here Thursday night and went out with Kristina for steak quesadillas at Chili's while Kristina gave me the low-down on some friends of ours from Chicago who she saw over Christmas. Apparently a friend's 32 year old brother married some 20 year old harpy who wouldn't let him see his family on Christmas. Fun fun.

Friday I drove up to Baltimore to go to a job fair where Health and Human Services had a booth so I could talk to someone and apply for a position with this program they have. Yeah, an hour drive in rush hour traffic so some lady could hand me a blue piece of paper with an extra-special code on it that allows me to go to the website and apply. I have to apply soon though since the code expires on the 16th. Weird.

So I drove back to Kristina's house and took the bus and the train into DC. Monuments thrill me in the weirdest way. The bus stopped at The Pentagon, which is where I caught the train and I was all, "Ooooo, it's The Pentagon. The Pentagon!" Lots of uniforms and men holding AK-47s watching me walk by. I smiled at them and tried to put a little swing in my step to brighten their day. Whatever, it's The Pentagon. And off in the distance: The Washington Monument and The Capitol.

I had an interview at the General Counsel's office in the Department of Health and Human Services (networking works, people!). Thrilling! And guess what? They liked me. A lot. I met with two attorneys first and we had a good repoire going, talking all about health care and what they do in the GC's office. Then they said they wanted me to talk to someone else, which means I got bumped up to the next level. I went to go talk with the Acting Associate Deputy General Counsel (or some such long title). One of the attorneys showed me in and handed him my resume saying "This is Kelly. Mark and I just met with her and we like her a lot." (Hooray!) The problem, as the higher-up told me: they have no money to hire someone right now. However, there's a bit of hope. First of all, they may get more funding. He said they are super-busy and could use another person. Second, if I get into the program I drove up to Baltimore for, I could get into the GC's office. The program rotates you through different sections of HHS and he said that if I rotate into the GC, then they can keep me.

Regardless, I interviewed at HHS and they liked me! Honestly, that gives me such a nice little ego boost that is going to follow me around as I continue my job search. I was in there talkin' the talk, all HIPAA this and Stark that. Oh yeah, I know my health care legislation.

Yes, I realize I'm a total dork.

Kristina has kept my social calendar hopping. Last night we went to a CD launch party and then to a gathering at the house of a friend of hers (and apparently some guy there told her he thinks I'm cute. DC is just turning into the ego-stroking town for me). To emphasize the smallness of the Mormon world, we ran into a girl there who we knew in Chicago. She's out here visiting her sister.

Today we slept in and then went to the DC temple, which was nice. There was a dinner at the church tonight where the Elders Quorum served the Relief Society. I saw two girls there who I know from Boston AND met a girl who was college roommates with a friend of mine from Chicago. The men, and a couple women, put on a floor show that honestly was just painful in parts. I don't know about you, but I just get embarrassed for people. After dinner we watched The Wedding Singer at another friend's house.

Oh and FYI, tomorrow is my sugar splurge day. This guy Craig, who had the party Friday night, foisted food onto us, including a couple pieces of cheesecake. I really can't be expected to turn down cheesecake, it's just not in me. And I get to eat the Butterfinger that my roommate Angie bought for me for my trip before she remembered I'm off sugar because they were on sale and she knows I love Butterfingers. Bonus.

So all in all, DC has been fun. It's very very different from Boston. I have to keep telling myself that and assessing it with a different perspective. Like I know I won't be able to walk everywhere here like I do in Cambridge and Boston. It's just not set up that way, unless I could somehow afford to live in Georgetown or somewhere like that. However, the roads are wide and make a bit more sense than Boston's roads. There are a ton of trees here with no leaves so I know it's going to be lush and green in the summer and gorgeous in the autumn. One thing I noticed, driving down I-95. The further south I got, the nicer people got. I do appreciate that.

Tomorrow is the assessment of church and then Kristina is throwing a dinner party so I can meet some more people, including one woman who has been a lawyer down here for a couple of years. Good night.

New Word

Today while IMing with a friend a slight typo resulted in the word "shicked." Obviously a bad word.

Proper usage:
Wow, she's totally shicked!
That really shicks me off!
I'll be shicked!

Feel free to use. My gift to the English language

Note: has anyone else besides Allen noticed that my weather girl appears in various stages of dress depending on the weather? Since it's in the 50's today and she's only in a T-shirt and pants, I'm wondering if she'll be completely naked by the time it's 90 and muggy.

One Woman Weather System

Sigh. The weather people are saying that more snow is coming Wednesday night through Thursday night. This wouldn't be such a big deal, other than being kind of a pain in the butt, except that Thursday morning bright and early I am supposed to be driving down to DC ideally to have life-changing experiences showing me whether or not I should move down there and/or launching my health law career as I head toward my ultimate goal of Health Czar (thanks for that one, Doug).

Anyway, the point is, I do not need snow and rain and ice all the way down I-95.

This is not the first time my travel plans have been befuddled by weather. Oh no. Just this last Thanksgiving I drove to Ohio and this windy, foggy, wet storm stayed with me the entire way. Across Massachusetts, Connecticut, a smidgen of New York, Pennsylvania, and half of Ohio I could see no more than 50 feet in front of my front bumper at any given time. I made it, though. It only took me 3 hours longer than I had planned.

The summer after I graduated from college I spent a month in Florida toodling around with my grandma. We went to Orlando for my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary party, up to St. Augustine to visit another aunt and uncle, and down to Key West just because I had never been to Key West. (Note: before I leave New England I really want to drive to the northern end of US 1 in Maine, having taken a picture of the southern end that summer after college). To give you an idea of how our travels went weather-wise, a virtual inland hurricane threatened to rain out Tom and Melba's anniversary party. I felt the need to apologize. That same storm cloud followed us up to St. Augustine and then continued on down the coast and out to Key West with us. My grandma said she expected it. Every time I visit her in Florida a storm moves in to greet my plane.

My roommate Angie suggested that I advertise and rent myself out to farmers experiencing drought. Might be a way to pay off those student loans.

Fashion Police

I admit to a fair amount of fashion missteps in my life. However, today I was on the T and a guy - a pretty cute guy actually - got on at Kendall wearing a bright kelly green sweater with electric blue dolphins worked into the pattern. Since he got on at Kendall, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's an MIT student with lofty theorems and/or formulas on his mind.

Melt My Heart

This is my "niece" Marlee.



For those of you who missed her picture before, the reason why niece is in quotes is because I'm not really her mom's sister. Beckie and I look a lot alike, though, and everyone thinks we're sisters. In fact, there's a picture of the two of us at her bridal shower and it took both of us a couple of moments to figure out who was who. So I get to be Aunt Kelly.



I can't tell you how much I love this little baby. My mom is Marlee's surrogate grandma, and always gushes to Beckie that Marlee looks a lot like I did as a baby. I imagine that if I ever do have kids that maybe, maybe they'll be as cute as Marlee (I'll have to be really good and pay my tithing, etc.)



I learned how to knit a couple of years ago so when Marlee was very small I tried my hand at a baby blanket. It was soft and fluffy and sea green. Beckie told me over Christmas that they usually keep the blanket draped over one side of her crib. Whenever she wakes up and fusses a little bit before going back to sleep, apparently she pulls the blanket down and snuggles up with it. It's her security blanket. All together now - Awwwwww!





Smiley Baby

More Men and Women

I was talking with a friend about this a week or so ago and he said I should post it because he'd be interested in what other people, particularly other guys, have to say. So, here you go, guys. This one's for you (not to exclude the ladies. You can respond too. In fact, I encourage it. In fact, I encourage everyone to respond.)

Here are the irrational questions that go through my head: Aren't there ANY men out there who want a woman with a figure?! Why is it that woman and old men think I'm gorgeous, but to any guy in my age bracket I am utterly forgettable?!

Here are the more logical thoughts that come from these questions as I really think about attraction and society as a whole:

A couple of years ago I watched a movie from the late 50s/early 60s at a friend's house. One of the side stories involved an affair that the boss was having with his voluptuous secretary. And I mean way voluptuous. Honestly, I think this woman was probably a size 16 at least. Big boobs, of course, tiny waist, very large hips and behind. The thing is, all the men in the office completely drooled over her. They envied the boss because she was with him.

So what was that, 40 years ago? Nowadays that actress would be the fat lady comic relief. Lately it seems like the new ideal is the super-athletic, minimal to no body fat, small-breasted woman.

Now I know there have been lots of articles written about how the media has molded our little brains into liking whatever it tells us to, but I am interested in the man on the street's perspective on this. Are most men turned off by what used to be considered attractive, or do little waists, wide hips, and more than A cup breasts still do it for them?

Speaking as a card-carrying member of the Chubby Girl Brigade, I recognize that my interest in this is not completely unbiased. But I am also interested in it from a sociological perspective. For thousands of years the .7 hip to waist ratio was the ideal, and the rounded, fertile-looking woman was considered the most attractive. In only 40-60 years that has changed dramatically (maybe a bit longer. The flapper may have started it all).

I also realize I'm asking for vast generalizations here, but I am interested in the individual male perspective.

(And if my friend who I was talking to about this thinks that I left anything out, please let me know)

Oh the Humanity!

Guess what was in my hotmail inbox this morning? A nice little email from Betty Crocker with about 50 recipes for chocolate cake, including a dark chocolate cake with raspberry sauce. Mmmmmmmmm.

But no. I feel better when I don't eat sugar. I feel better when I don't eat sugar.

Or, rather, I will be a busy little chef on my splurge day.

Freakin' Fertility

Apparently I have reached the age where every single one of my friends is popping out a kid or two or three.

OK, that's not exactly true. I do have some friends with no kids. But I just got a note and picture from a college friend saying that they'll be trying for their third this summer. I found out today my boss is pregnant. Jen in Berkeley should be presenting us with Baby Boy any time now. It's all just madness!

So part of me is really envious. Not only do I not have a boyfriend, but now I feel like I'm really not doing it right as my fertility ekes away with every passing year (or month, if you want to be all graphic). That biological clock is tick tiCK TICKing away.

The other part of me is thinking, I can't have kids yet, are you crazy? I am soooooo not mature enough for that.

A friend of mine at school told me that he thinks it would just be tragic if I don't have kids because he thinks I'm a very motherly person. I'm not exactly sure how to take that because it brings beaded and muu-muued earth mother pictures to my mind, which are guaranteed to keep the boys away.

Maybe as I become more and more selfish, then I'll be more attractive. Guys? Thoughts? Isn't it the super high-maintenance, selfish women who always have guys trailing after them?

Healthy Eating

Rather than post a big long comment to Elizabeth at the end of my last post about the parameters of my food plan, I thought I'd just outline it in a new post. This is my own personal plan so you can modify it however you want.

First, I'm not eating refined sugar. This means if sugar, corn syrup, and/or high fructose corn syrup is listed in the first five ingredients of something, I won't eat it. The first five ingredient guideline is the same as diabetics use.

Second, I'm letting myself eat unrefined sugar (Sugar in the Raw/turbinado sugar), honey, and molasses. Stonyfield Farms yogurt is sweetened with natural milled sugar, which is so much yummier than Nutrasweet, which Dannon and Yoplait use to sweeten their sugar free options. Also keep an eye out for fruit juice-sweetened products because that's good too.

Third, fruit is fabulous. A regular-sized apple or orange, half a banana, and different amounts of different juices (have to check the bottle/carton) equal about 60 calories, which is one serving of fruit. Be sure if you're drinking juice that you check the ingredients. Many many juices are NOT fruit juice. They're often water, high fructose corn syrup, and, like, 10% juice. USDA recommends 3-4 servings of fruit per day (http://www.usda.gov/cnpp/Insights/Insight20.PDF)

Frozen fruits and veggies are fine. I've been reading a lot lately about how freezing really doesn't take away a lot of nutrients. One of my favorite recipes from the Dr. Phil plan is a fruit smoothie, which is made with frozen berries:

Fruit Smoothie
1 Cup milk
3/4 - 1 Cup frozen berries (I love blackberries, and blueberries are getting a lot of hype lately for being a good source of antioxidants. Both types of berries are thought to have anti-cancer properties)
1/3 T. sliced almonds
(I put a smidgen of vanilla extract in too, which adds a nice flavor)

Blend and drink

Condiments: Polaner All Fruit and Smuckers Simply Fruit are completely fruit juice-sweetened jellies and jams. Smuckers also makes an all-natural peanut butter in chunky and smooth. Be sure to refrigerate the peanut butter after you open it. Unlike Jif and Skippy with lots of preservatives, it won't keep in the pantry.

Check the ingredients of salad dressings - most of them have sugar or corn syrup as the third ingredient. I let myself slide a little on my personal favorite brand, Kraft Light Done Right, because corn syrup is occasionally the 4th ingredient. You can usually find low-sugar dressings in any store, but especially at stores like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods.

I believe Trader Joe's has a low sugar ketchup option, but I figure you can let ketchup slide, since I'm assuming you won't be chugging it. :) Corn syrup is usually the third ingredient in ketchups, I believe.

In addition to cutting out sugar, I generally try as much as I can to eat only whole grains. White flour goes into your system very similarly to refined sugar. Whole wheat bread, oatmeal, whole wheat crackers, etc. Kashi waffles are yummy even without butter and syrup! They also have a little soy in them, which is an especially good protein source for women.

Vegetables are great. A serving of veggies is only 25 calories. Check any nutrition site for what equals a serving. For instance, about 12 baby carrots, 2 cups of lettuce, or 1/2 cup of broccoli equal a serving.

Bear in mind, corn and potatoes are NOT veggies, they are carbohydrates. A serving of potato is a small potato and equals about 80 calories. I often eat a small sweet potato rather than a regular potato, because sweet potatoes have all sorts of good stuff in them that regular potatoes don't like vitamins C and B6, manganese, and a bit of potassium

Be aware of good fats versus bad fats. Good fats include olive oil, avocadoes (hooray!), and many types of nuts.

I fudge things a bit occasionally because I know if I don't like it, I won't eat it. So while brown rice is the healthiest, I think it tastes blechy, so I make jasmine rice (fab when made in lemon and herb chicken broth). Chicken breasts obviously have lower fat, but I prefer dark meat so I get skinless, boneless chicken thighs and trim ALL the fat off. I also eat salmon and tuna. (Let's hear it for Costco!)

OK, sorry for the boring post, but I just thought I'd lay it all out there for anyone who might be interested. :) Apparently I know a lot more about this stuff than I ever realized.

No Sugar

As of today I am not eating sugar anymore. I have one exception - one day a month I can go crazy (NOTE: this idea is the property of Boston Jenn, now San Francisco Jenn. I in no way meant to usurp her idea and appear brilliant at her expense. Jenn is obviously the brilliant one). I've actually gone without sugar before. From ages 13-around 16 my parents didn't have sugar in the house. I lost a little weight, but mainly I felt good. And you know the weirdest thing? It took me awhile to actually like things with sugar in them again after I hadn't eaten it for awhile.

Last year my friend Becky ate no sugar all year. She lost a bunch of weight and looks and feels great. I've been mulling this over for the past couple of weeks and finally decided to just do it. Well, Saturday night I was chatting with my friend Randi and told her I was going to cut out sugar starting February 1st and she immediately said "I'm doing it with you!" It's a wee bit harder for her, since she's studying to be a pastry chef, so her rule is, she can taste her batter and make sure she's doing it right, but when it's done, she can't cut herself off a big hunk and eat it like she usually does. We're supposed to check in with each other once a week.

So Sunday night I was at a baptism and telling my friend Chrissy about this and she said, "Oh, that's such a good idea..." and I could see she was really thinking about it. That evening I told Becky that Randi and I were going to give it a go. By the end of the night Becky had convinced Chrissy to do it and roped in this other girl Alyson.

Becky's advice: don't think you're doing this for a whole year because you'll feel overwhelmed. Just think, I'm not eating sugar today. Gradually all the todays add up and you've done the week and then the month and then the year. It's all scarily similar to AA's One Day At A Time thing. It's kind of similar really, what with the highs and lows that come from sugar.

I discovered last Fall that when I was sticking to my Dr. Phil Shape-Up Plan, I didn't even crave sugar. The plan is so fruit-heavy that I got plenty of sweetness in my system (In addition to my natural sweetness of course).

Since so many people know, I feel like I'm accountable for this. Kind of like people knowing I don't drink as a Mormon. I'd go to parties at work in Chicago and people would say, "Oh none of this for you, Kelly" like I was going to fling myself over the bar, break a bottle, and hold the shard up to the bartender's neck until he fixed me an appletini.

So here we go: Day 1 without sugar

(Why is everything sounding dirty to me lately?)