Well, yesterday I was all excited. I got a phone call and an email first thing in the morning from an attorney I work with who told me that a big health care provider conglomerate here in Massachusetts was hiring for a fellowship position in their regulatory department. The position was for 3 years and paid a good salary and the person who got it would probably be hired afterwards as well. The attorney gave me a contact name and told me she was interested in talking to me.
So I started thinking about staying here. I've been so ambivalent about leaving. I have my moments where I really hate Boston, and then sometimes I really love it. DC has seemed like a good idea, but at the same time intimidating and very very unsure. And then I started thinking how nice it would be to not have to move and just stay put and be in the familiar. Sure there are things about Boston that drive me nuts. There are things about my apartment that drive me nuts (occasionally crazy roommate and noisy neighbor to name a couple). But overall, I could stay and be content, especially if I had a job I liked and was making a reasonable amount of money that allowed me to make my student loan payment and rent all in the same month. Then in a year or two I could apply to the Harvard and BU Schools of Public Health to work on my MPH part time.
Hopes all dashed this morning. I got an email back from the attorney at the conglomerate telling me that she had the impression from the attorney I worked with that I had graduated a couple of years ago. Their department doesn't hire recent grads. The attorney I work with swears she told her I was graduating in May.
So now I'm feeling really down and deflated. It's amazing how a smidgen of hope can really get me excited and thinking and planning for the future.
I'm so wary of DC and I keep thinking, well maybe the signs are telling me not to go there. I didn't get the job I interviewed for in DC my second year, I didn't get the job I interviewed for in DC last fall, I didn't get into the HHS program, none of the firms I've sent resumes to are interested in me... It's just so disheartening.
Maybe I should just forget this whole thing and move somewhere where there's a beach.
5 comments:
"Maybe I should just forget this whole thing and move somewhere where there's a beach."
I think that's the most sensible choice. Come to California! We have lots of beaches and health laws here!
Just kidding, I know it's rough for you right now. It's one of those situations where you know what you want and you're doing everything you can to get it, and it's still not happening. It's hard to want something that you have no control over, those are the most frustrating experiences. Try not to let yourself get down. The perfect opportunity will present itself, just keep that in mind and don't settle for anything less.
NC has a beach, and UNC has a highly ranked MPH program. Just an idea!
I know exactly how you feel--the waiting game gets real old real quick. You do all you can, going in the direction you think you should, but it's still just wait-and-see.
I also understand about the just staying in Boston thing. I've just got so much *stuff* that I don't really want to move it! As it is, if I get the job in Seattle, I'll likely have to sell all my belongings to be able to afford it--both because it'd cost and arm and several legs to haul them out there, and because I don't have the money to move. Though there's something to be said for getting rid of everything and starting completely fresh, I suppose.
Keep on working on the contacts, though. Explore other options besides D.C., if you feel exploring other options would be a good thing. Perhaps you can find a lead into D.C. through unconventional means.
Here's the problem with exploring other options at this point: I'm taking the Massachusetts Bar Exam. Bar are state specific and many states have very stringent rules for practicing there - like some of them have you take the Bar all over again even if you have years of experience in another state.
Mass has one of the latest filing dates, so I'm pretty sure I've already missed a lot of states' deadlines. Plus, I'm signed up for the Mass Bar Review course.
It's Mass or DC at this point.
Yeah, that does limit your options somewhat. You'll figure it out, though.
Post a Comment