Awesomeness

Right now I'm sitting in Jason's living room and there's a music festival happening across the street so all we had to do on this BEAUTIFUL May Saturday is open up his windows and enjoy.

So we're both being productive and getting much needed work done while listening to great local music.



Nice.

I always forget how much I like live music. You could pretty much play any old thing and if it's live, I'm going to move my body to the beat and get into it and swear to you later that they were the best band EVER. At this moment, The Biltmores rock.

Down

I got some disappointing job prospect news a couple of days ago and it's really impacting me today. I didn't fully realize how much hope I had hinging on it, how the idea of it was helping me to hold my head up high and feel like there was some sort of career future for me.

This morning I overslept and had a hard time dragging myself out of bed when I finally did wake up. (Cloudy weather again is not helping, Boston).

Yesterday I had a good conversation with someone about how it's not the end of the world. I just need to dust myself off and get right back on that horse. There's always tomorrow. And other such words.

Today, though, I just feel tired and beaten. Two years out of law school, I know realistically that the chances of my getting a good, real job at this point are pretty slim. I wonder why I went to law school? I keep thinking back to the decision-making process that landed me there. It seemed like a good idea. I remember visiting Boston and vividly feeling that coming here for law school was the right thing for me to do and a good step for me to take. Now, two years after graduation, with no prospects and a staggering amount of school debt for this degree that right now feels pretty useless, I regret the decision every single day.

I'm sure in a couple of days I'll be able to get on the ball with sending out more resumes (which is kind of hard when there's just nothing to apply for), but for today I'm down.

Feeling Detached

I seem to have a hard time keeping in touch with friends. Because of my life thus far I have women who I consider very good friends spread all over the country. The problem is, I never seem to talk to them anymore. If one of them calls me, they get my voice mail because I'm either A) not near my phone or B) near my phone, but busy and can't chat then. If I call one of them, I usually get their voice mail too.

We're all busy, I guess, but sometimes I feel like I don't put enough effort into keeping in touch. Is it okay to have friends who you talk to every 6 months or less, but who you know are still your good friends and the people you would call in an emotional crisis?

Adding to that, I feel alternately part of and not part of the social scene here in Boston. It's difficult when I seem to spend every other weekend with Jason in Providence. And I'm usually trying to get in some hours of work on Saturday too. I feel like I don't get invited to a ton of stuff, but then I'm not really making myself available, am I?

I guess my point is, I love Jason, but I miss being part of The Scene. I also have guilt about not being available enough to my friends in other cities and not calling more often to check in on them. Time just gets away from me. I've been back in Boston for about 7 months. I feel like I just moved back and here I am already wondering where I'm going to be living in 4 months.

Sickie

I am sick. I finally got that cold that everyone else has had.

I am not a good patient. I spend the whole time feeling annoyed because this is really cutting into my schedule. For instance, I was supposed to go swimming both Monday and Tuesday nights, but instead I lay uselessly on the couch, blowing my nose and occasionally opening my mouth really wide to try and pop my right ear. Currently I am working on willing the cold out of my body with the power of positive thinking. That, and controlled substances.


That's right. I signed the big controlled substances binder at the drugstore today. Why would I buy Sudafed without the sweet, sweet pseudoephedrine?


When Jason came over after his class last night, my roommates apparently directed him to the "quarantine area", aka the living room. Ha ha.

The good news is, I can work from home so that's what I've done the last couple of days. The bad news is, we have a meeting this afternoon so I had to come in. I spent my commute swaying partly from the motion of the train, and partly from my own little lack of equilibrium fun time going on in my head.

Anyway, I'm annoyed because I was on an exercise and weight loss roll and I've been sidelined. I'm also annoyed because my head is stuffy. Bleh.

On the Weather

Dear Boston,

I am officially over the wind.

Sincerely,
Kelly

Why I Heart the City

This afternoon as I was walking back to work through Boston Common, a guy on a bike sped by me. As he passed I realized that despite the rain and the wind and the ickiness that has been Boston weather for the past few weeks, he was singing "Tuesday Afternoon" by the Moody Blues with complete abandon.

Tuuuuuesday Aaaaaafternoon
I'm just beginning to see
Now I'm on my way

Awesome.

Today Is the Longest Day EVER

I'm bored. Ooo, I know! I'll blog.

Um...

So the program we use at work was down for a couple of days and I basically spent a day and a half surfing the internet. I am pretty much the champion of entertaining myself online, but even that was a bit much for me.

Now the system is working, but then I remembered, oh yeah, the work is boring too.

I think I'm just having a discontented day. My work buddy is on vacation, and I haven't said more than a few words to anyone all day. I'm not being anti-social, it's just the nature of the place. I'm in my own little internet and headphones world like everyone else.

Speaking of which, I'm tired of ALL of my music. Yeah, blah blah, My Sharona, Hips Don't Lie, Don't You Want Me Baby, SexyBack, Here It Goes Again, Fresh Feeling, whatever! I am tired of you all!

Plus, I'm sore. The second day after weights is always the worst and I did weights Wednesday night. Then I swam 100 laps last night. So now I'm just kind of achey in most of my body and I really wish I could have stayed in my comfy bed this morning and every time I stand up my legs argue with me.

And it's only 2 PM.

Grumble grumble.

Florida!

Ah, Florida. Beautiful sunny days and warm weather. How I miss you...

We got into town on Saturday and went right out for sushi with my Aunt Luanne, Uncle Phil, cousin Greg and Rosie, Greg's wife.


Sunday, we headed to the beach, but the waves were huge and the purple jellyfish flag was out. Boo, jellyfish! So we went for a drive along A1A in our sassy blue rental car.

Pretty Intracoastal view:


Sassy blue rental car:


Monday, we headed down Miami way to the Monkey Jungle. Jason had been there before and loved it. I have to concede to Jason on this one: monkeys are pretty great.

Java macaque:



The Monkey Jungle guide for the orangutan and gorilla was a little nutty. I think Jason and I were the only ones laughing. I don't know if the other people just weren't paying attention, but she was hilarious. Two of her gems included explaining how the female orangutan had put on some weight since her male companion had died because he used to hit her and keep her away from the food. The guide said: "Unfortunately like some humans, Miss May's man beat her up."

Then she told how a male orangutan mates with the female and hangs around until she gets pregnant. Then he takes off until the baby is born and weaned. The guide said, "Only two types of males do this sort of behavior: orangutans and humans."

I think she had some issues.

Here is a video of the orangutan doing her little 3-minute thing for some goodies:



Watch the gibbons swing. They're awesome.


Here is my good friend, Jordan the howler monkey.


The first time we went into the rainforest habitat, Jordan followed Jason and I around. He walked on the fencing above us and lay down whenever we stopped walking and silently watched us. However, when we came back later and the guide started giving her little talk in the microphone, Jordan let loose with his howling. It's unreal.


Apparently they can be heard several miles away when they really get going.

Afterwards we drove toward the Everglades looking for an airboat ride. Unfortunately we got there too late and didn't get a boat ride, BUT we found an awesome BBQ joint.


With a pig on top.


Tuesday, we made one more effort at the beach. The red flags (meaning Super Caution, or something to that effect) AND the purple jellyfish flag were out. I was kind of bummed since my favorite thing to do at the beach is to snorkle and basically swim as far out as I can. Because I'm a daredevil like that. But when the waves look like this

there's usually a wicked undertow accompanying them.

Despite the waves and the jellyfish warning, people were out there swimming so Jason and I took a chance and actually had a great time jumping waves. My suit was full of sand that night, which always signifies a good time in my world.

Jason's sunscreen method:


It wasn't effective. Of course, who am I to talk. My sunscreen was old and I got fried too.

Me and my little babushka


Wednesday, we drove to St. Augustine to stay with my grandma and Dave, her husband. A long drive followed by a buffet with crab legs. Yay! Crab legs!

Thursday, we went down to the old town area and did the tourist thing. St. Augustine was founded by the Spanish in 1565 and is the oldest town in the U.S. See, this blog is all about education.

Gates of Old St. Augustine


The fort


The old buildings are made of a material called coquina. The Spanish couldn't find any rocks to build the fort with, but they did discover fossilized shells under the sand in the island across the inlet. Coquina:


View from the fort:


My aunt and uncle's Presbyterian church:

The church was built by Henry Flagler, the local 19th-century robber baron, as was much of the old part of St. Augustine. At least the stuff not built in the 16th century by the Spanish.

Pretty Spanish moss


That night we went with my grandma, Dave, my great-Aunt Daisy and great-Uncle Ted for some good ole fried seafood.*

Remember when I mentioned my awesome genes? The two other women in this picture are 70 and 74, although don't tell them I told you that. I think they look pretty darn good.

Friday we headed back down to Boca Raton so we could catch our 6:30 AM flight out of Ft. Lauderdale on Saturday morning. I have a hard time sleeping on planes, so while everyone else was snoozing, I took this picture out my window:

Following our 5 hour layover in Newark (it was only supposed to be 3 hours) during which we realized we could have rented a car and driven back to Providence in less time, we finally made it back to New England.

This about sums up how I (and Tiny apparently) felt after the whirlwind trip:


Have you ever noticed how you really do need a vacation after your vacation?





*This trip I fully realized how much my family outings have always centered around food. I didn't even mention the Friday night free-for-all at Maggiano's thanks to some gift certificates my aunt had received. Probably something to mention to my shrink. Well, whatever, it all tasted good.

Easter Dinner

So I made my cranberry glazed ham. And it was, you know, fine. But no one at the dinner besides Jason and my roommate Chrissy knew the whole story.

I found a recipe last week on the Food Network website and was doing a little happy dance because it sounded kind of complicated and really yummy and if there's one thing I like when I'm making something for a bunch of people it's a bit of a challenge with tasty results. There was simmering in juices and studding with cloves and prepping the glaze and all sorts of things to do.

Basically the recipe went like this: Boil ham in water for 30 minutes to get rid of excess salt. That sounds like a good step because upon doing a little invstigation I've determined that your average ounce of ham has something like 1500 mg of sodium. I've become a little sodium conscious lately and am trying to stay below 2300 mg a day.*

Then you simmer the ham in 128 ounces of apple and cranberry juices with two halved onions and some allspice. Yum, right?

Then you mix up the cranberry/honey/cinnamon glaze, stud your ham with whole cloves and pour the glaze over the ham. Follow this with baking the ham for 15 minutes and voila!

Saturday I decided to get the simmering out of the way, which the recipe allowed. I simmered for the recommended 3 hours, then let the ham cool in the pot of juices like the recipe said while I went to an Easter Vigil service that Jason was singing at. Before I left, I looked into the pot and wondered if it didn't look like the ham had fallen off the bone in a not-to-conducive-to-glazing-and-baking way. But no time now! Off to church.

When I got back, I drained the ham and then reached in to pull it out and place it in the baking dish. Only, when I pulled up, I felt pieces of ham falling down around my hands and realized there was no way the ham was coming up in one piece. I called Jason into the kitchen to help me. He pulled out most of the ham and put it in the dish, followed by a couple of handfuls of ham bits left at the bottom of the pot.

I stood there, my mouth agape, staring at the baking dish full of something that looked sort of like chipped beef. Not only had the ham pulled away from the bone, but it had completely dehydrated during the simmering process and gone from full succulent slices to little dry bits. This was NOT what the recipe said would happen. I think I cried out something to the effect of, "Oh no! It's ruined!"

Jason said he didn't see what the problem was and finally left the room in exasperation as I kept saying things like, "Are you crazy?! Of course it's ruined! There's no way I can glaze a pile of ham bits! You're wrong! Stop talking!"

Or something like that.

I called a couple of grocery stores and discovered that they were going to be open on Easter, so first thing Sunday morning I headed out. Four stores later, I found one single solitary ham. I know I paid too much for it, but it was seriously the Last Ham in Cambridge.

I came home and shoved it in the oven to bake according to the directions on the ham package. On the way to the friend's house who was hosting, I got in a couple of layers of clove studs. I glazed and baked once we got there.

And it was yummy. However, I have a bone to pick with the Food Network.


*Plus I found out yesterday that my blood pressure is a bit on the high side. What?! I'm kind of shocked since I used to have low blood pressure. Sigh. I'm telling you, I turn 30 and my body completely falls apart.

I Am Very Lame With the Blogging

So here's the sitch. I have vacation pictures and a travelogue to narrate, but I'm busy. I made the dumb mistake of telling the partner at the firm that I would have a draft of my awful memo to her by the end of the week. When I'm at home lately the last thing I want to do is get on the computer so I haven't posted. But I will. I promise.

I'm making cranberry-glazed ham for Easter. Doesn't that sound decadent?

Maintaining My Girlish Looks

Kid By the Side of the Pool (as I was getting out): How many laps did you do?

Me: Um, 80.

Kid: Wow...Are you on a swim team?

Me: I used to be. Not now.

Kid: Why not?

Me: Oh, well, I'd like to build up my endurance more, maybe join a team eventually.

Kid: Are you fast?

Me: I'm okay. I used to be fast.

Kid: Yeah, I used to be on a team. Now I'm just here watching my girlfriend swim.

Me: Huh.

Kid: So what grade are you in?

Me:...

...

... Uh, actually, I'm out of college.

Kid: Oh, yeah?

Me: Yeah.

I can imagine the look on his face if I had told him I'm 30. This must be how my aunt felt when she was carded on her 40th birthday.

My anti-aging tips: lots of moisturizer and awesome genes.

Monkeys Monkeys Everywhere!

In Florida. Yesterday, Jason and I went to the Monkey Jungle. FYI, squirrel monkeys are crazy.



More later.

Unmotivated and It Feels So Good

Jason and I are going on vacation on Saturday and I cannot focus today. Tomorrow I'm going to be doing real work and will be more on the ball. Today I'm sort of taking notes and searching documents for my memo, but I'm also reading emails and message boards and making tentative plans in my head and imagining myself laying on the beach, which is MUCH more fun.

I was hoping to have the memo done before I left, but that's really not going to happen. I finished what I thought was going to be the main portion, but as I've started researching the other aspects of the case, I've realized that the rest of it is probably going to be just as substantial. There's no deadline, but to show the attorneys that I haven't been completely wasting my days away, I'm going to send them my 18-page draft with an email explaining what all I still plan to do.

Have I told you about this memo? Most of the other people doing memos have very discreet topics, but my topic covers the entire accounting policy department in the company. Which is basically everything the case is about. We have several research documents we've been using for reference, and I kind of just want my memo to say See _________ Reports. The end.

But, no, they actually want me to write. I have a feeling it will probably wind up being at least 40 pages, whereas everyone else's have ranged from 12-23 pages.

So anyway, back to the beach.

We're heading South to stay with some of my family for a week and wile away our days on the beach and do touristy stuff in the sun. I'm so excited and not feeling the whole work thing today.

Plus, has anyone else noticed how interminable March can be? I'm ok with February - it's supposed to still be cold. But March does this taunting thing where it's 65 one day and three days later there's a nor'easter and a foot of snow on the ground. How is that fair? I have been consistently underdressed for the past few days, stubbornly willing the temperature to be higher and the wind to blow less.

On the plus side, I'm treating myself to a manicure and pedicure this afternoon so I can wear my sandals proudly.

And on the doubleplus side, I lost 4.1 inches this week. How is that even possible?

My Arm...

...is working again. Hurrah!

I swam 80 laps last night doped up on a couple of Advil.* While my elbow was doing a little bit of a popping thing (which it's done before. Probably a precursor to its recent shenanigans), there was no pain.

I bought this nifty ice pack yesterday that just fits the contours of my elbow region and straps on with velcro. After my swim and shower, my arm was a little stiff so I iced it. I feel like an athlete with my sports injury. Hardcore. That's me.

Taking a break from the pool tonight, but I'l be back tomorrow. Awwww, yeah.


*Based on my personal prior consumption of Advil, I'm going to wager that if there was any major pain, 400 mg of Advil would not have cut it that much.

Happy Spring!

And the cardinal in the tree on the corner who was singing to me as I walked to work says, "Happy Spring!" too.

Soundtrack

Have you ever wondered if your life was a movie what the soundtrack would be like?

This is officially my new favorite game. Some of the songs are eerily appropriate, while Bodyrock by Moby for a funeral - probably not so much. Although I have always liked the idea of the New Orleans funeral with the jazz band playing some fun music, 'cause, you know, let's celebrate the person, and really funerals can be kind of fun as you get to see family you haven't seen in ages. Maybe Moby is the modern equivalent of that.

Or, if you want to be macabre: "We rock the body, rock the body."

I think it's safe to say that I like the Pixies.

Here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

Opening credits: Allison - Pixies (that gets my soundtrack off to a rockin' start)

Waking up: True Faith - New Order (meh)

First Day at School: Material Girl - Madonna (hee hee)

Falling in love: The Look - Roxette (And I go "La la la la la" She's got the look!)

Fight Song: Have You Got It In You - Imogen Heap

Breaking Up: Heart of Stone - Erasure (wow, it's like they know my ex)

Prom: Happy Jack - The Who

Life's OK: Daylight Robbery - Imogen Heap

Mental Breakdown: Overkill - Colin Hay (so true)

Driving: River Euphrates - Pixies (when I first learned to drive, the Pixies were in constant rotation)

Inner Smile: Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes (totally)

Flashback: Just A Little While - Janet Jackson (apparently it's a dirty flashback...)

Getting Back Together: Fighting for My Love - Nil Lara (I swear I am not making this up)

Wedding: Blue Orchid - The White Stripes

Birth of a Child: Gigantic - Pixies (... hahahahahaha)

Final Battle: Sky Fits Heaven - Madonna (I think my final battle would be more of an inner, personal struggle: Traveling down this road, watching the signs as I go. Think I'll follow the sun. Isn't everyone just traveling down their own road, watching the signs as they go? Think I'll follow my heart. It's a very good place to start)

Death Scene: The Navajo Knows - Pixies

Funeral : Bodyrock - Moby

Everyone should play this game right now.

We Can Talk About the Weather, Making Plans Together

So, like, there's a blizzard going on outside. And on the one hand I think it's perfectly fair since we haven't really had much of a winter at all and overall I like snow and I can be a trooper.

On the other hand, I'm a little bit in shock since it was 60 just a couple of days ago. I just went out to get lunch, fighting the wind and blowing snow the whole way, and I can attest to the fact that I am not the only shell-shocked Bostonian. I saw many other people, woefully underdressed, walking around with expressions of, "What the...?" I guess they didn't want to believe the weather people either.*

And way to mess up my Friday night plans, weather!


*Well, and who can blame them. The weather people have been really, REALLY wrong all winter long.

So Proud of Myself

I know it's dark, but I think you can plainly see that I am the Queen of the Parallel Parkers.

Bow down to your Queen.

Can You Figure Out What's Wrong With My Arm?

I'm double posting on this site and my weight loss blog because I'm hoping maybe someone will have an idea as to what is going on with my arm. Last Wednesday I went swimming, all primed to do my 90 laps, and about 3 laps in, my left arm started really hurting in the muscle right above my elbow. At first it was a stabbing pain starting when my stroke reached my hip and I pulled my arm out of the water to finish the stroke. I had to stop after the 4th lap because it went from a stabbing pain to feeling like the entire muscle was knotted up. I had been swimming Monday and Tuesday nights with no issues. On Wednesday, it only hurt as I was completing my stroke.

One of my roommates diagnosed a knot in my muscle and she massaged my arm a little bit to try to work it out. Thursday, my arm was a little sore from the workout the night before, but I had no pain for the rest of the weekend.

Last night I went to the pool again. A few laps in, I could feel the muscle starting to hurt again, but I kept going. Eventually, I think the endorphins took over because it seemed to get better, but I don't think it actually did because after my workout, the muscle hurt when I tried to lift something in the locker room. I did 90 laps last night (64 swimming, 26 kicking) and my arm is still sore today. I put some Tiger Balm on last night after my workout, and that seemed to help a bit. I was going to go swimming tonight, but now I'm thinking I should just walk home from work for exercise.

I've been doing research online this morning, and I can't figure out what's wrong. There are two distinct arm injuries common to swimmers, and I don't seem to have either of them. Swimmers Shoulder is caused by overuse and poor technique, as well as by breathing on one side exclusively. The pain is in the shoulder and radiates to the clavicle. While I do breathe exclusively on my right side (I need to work on that), the pain isn't in my shoulder. I've also been told I have good technique so I don't think my technique is straining my arm too much.

The other possibility is Swimmers Elbow (like tennis elbow), which is caused by overuse. However, from what I can tell on the sites, the pain of that is mostly in the lower arm and affects the ability to grip things. That isn't my problem either.

The pain I'm having is in the exterior muscle of the upper arm, down near my elbow. It only hurts when I swim, although it's sore today because of my workout last night.

I've never had this issue before and I've been swimming for years. When I started back several weeks ago, I progressed slowly through 40, then 50, 60, 70, 80 and now 90 laps per workout session. I used to swim 120 laps at times and was hoping to get back up to that. This is just really frustrating.

Mmmmm...

It's kind of like the people at Cadbury woke up one morning and asked each other, "How can we make Kelly's Easter the best EVER?"

I'm having a hard time finding anyone else who loves the Cadbury mini eggs as much as I do. They were always a staple in my Easter basket. I don't know what kind of sad and deprived childhoods you all had.

The fact that they're now in dark chocolate makes this A Very Special Easter.

Weight

So I have a whole blog dedicated to this weight loss thing, but I'm really excited about my results as of last night so I thought I would share. In the past 5 weeks I've lost 5.2 pounds, BUT the really magic number is the inches I've lost: 5.8. Almost 6 inches in 5 weeks! Actually the first couple of weeks are usually pretty slow, but just this last week I've lost 2.5 inches. Wow.

Could It Be...?

I saw a robin this morning. A plump, still ready for winter weather robin, but a robin nonetheless.

Spring is coming.

Can't Talk, Comin' Down

I've never actually been high, but I'm going to wager that the feeling I had yesterday afternoon was kind of close.

My friend C and I are doing a Detox Diet right now. It's basically 7 days of fruits, vegetables and protein, 1 day of "fasting" (which in this world means alternating every hour between 8 oz of water and 8 oz of a cranberry drink mixture), and 3 days of fruits, vegetables and protein. We're on Day 3 today.

My feelings thus far can be summed up in one word: Hungry. I never really thought about how much I use carbs and dairy as filler. Particularly dairy. A lot of times if I'm hungry, but don't want to have something carbohydratey, I'll drink a glass of milk or have a little bowl of cottage cheese. I figure it's not fatty and gives me some calcium too. But there's no dairy allowed on this detox.

Yesterday, C and I were whining to each other about how hungry we were. She wondered if the smoothie place around the corner would fit into the plan. After looking at the menu, we determined it wouldn't, BUT a little internet research informed us that a smoothie place I liked in DC is actually here too. Hooray!

Incidentally, when is Jamba Juice going to get its act together re: the East Coast?

So in the middle of the afternoon, feeling not quite full from our mutual lunch salads, we went to the smoothie place. We both ordered a pomegranate/strawberry smoothie in large please, and with the first sip decided that maybe it was worth $6 a day to enjoy such bliss for the remainder of our detox.

Our fatal flaw was in not inquiring whether the juice they used was 100% juice. I don't think it was.

About a half hour after I finished my smoothie I was seriously buzzing. BUZZING! I could hardly sit still. I was like, Yay! Fruit! This is awesome! I am going to ROCK the pool tonight! Yay!

A half hour after the high I crashed. Hard. My head felt a little detached from the rest of my body, not to mention the world around me. When I left work an hour later I was feeling a little better and made it to the pool, but I was dragging.

My conclusion: Just say no.

My Name is Kelly, and I Am an Introvert

A friend and I were talking about introversion and extr0version last night prompted by an interesting article she read called Caring For Your Introvert.* She told me on the Myers Briggs test she rated something like 89% introvert. My numbers weren't quite that high, somewhere in the 70's I think, but it has always been my natural inclination to be more withdrawn. I have always tested as an INFJ no matter how much time passes between tests.

It's not an introverted world however, as I know firsthand and as the article emphasizes. I've worked for many years to be more comfortable with social situations and small talk, but it's still kind of a struggle. When I'm interacting socially, sometimes it's a conscious decision to not sit there in silence and just take everything in. "Many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors" is a line from the article that rings true with me.

Don't get me wrong, I do like to socialize. I seek out friends and plan dinners or small gatherings. I like interacting with others and feel bored and sad if I feel like I have a non-existent social life. However, I do need alone time and I need time to recharge. And, frankly, I feel overwhelmed at large parties where people are squashed together in rooms, talking loudly, often (at least it seems to me) about nothing in particular. In those situations I will do one of two things: 1)Find someone who I know fairly well and end up talking to that one person the whole night.** Or, 2)Leave. I won't necessarily leave the party, but I may go outside for a moment to get my bearings. Or shut myself in a bedroom if I know the party-givers really well. After 10 minutes or so, I'm usually ready to weave my way through the crowd again. The only way I can explain it is I have to decompress from sensory overload.

I had jaw surgery in high school and my mouth was wired shut for 4 1/2 weeks. It was infuriating to not be able to express myself at times, but also very comfortable for me to sit back and just observe.

I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of bloggers, particularly those who are very gregarious online, are introverts. I know I have always felt much more comfortable and confident in my communications by writing versus talking. Sometimes when I talk, I find myself pausing and searching for the right words in a way that may make me sound like an awkward speaker. When I write, I can sit for a few seconds and come up with the right word. I don't really have the capacity of verbalizing my thought process, but if given a moment to analyze the situation inside my own head, I can figure out a solution to a problem. The thing is, I sometimes feel like the extrovert doesn't appreciate the wait and may dismiss me as not having any ideas at all.


* Some of the statements in the article are a little extreme. The only time I would really snarl at an extrovert is if they're trying to be all chatty first thing in the morning. My grandma and I were both relieved when I was about 15 and we discovered that neither of is likes to talk to anyone for about a half hour to an hour after we wake up. So she would sit in the kitchen quietly eating her cereal and reading her paper, while I would walk by her and maybe say good morning, but then quickly take my own breakfast into the family room. And neither of us worried that the other was mad or offended or anything.

**Actually, come to think of it, those people were probably introverts too as they seemed perfectly happy to also sit in one place and talk with me the whole evening.

Listening to the Internet Radio

Why do I like that Nickelback guy's voice so much? I don't know, but I do.

V Day

Let me just say that in my liberal-minded, feminist heart I recognize that Valentine's Day is a conspiracy between Hallmark, FTD and Russell Stovers, and when I'm single I hate it with a passion that knows no bounds, but the girly part of me who has a boyfriend right now thinks, "Yay! Love!" Last week for only the second time ever I was dating someone on Valentine's Day* and had been promised some sort of celebration of the day. V Day had to be postponed because of the Nor'easter, but, meh, I was promised dinner and I knew I would get to cash in eventually.

Then, totally unrelated to the storm, our plumbing backed up. I actually wanted to give our landlady a hug, she looked so distressed when she told us that we would need to go somewhere else for a few days since the plumber was talking about possibly digging up the street to get to the corroded 103-year old clay pipe. She offered to put us up somewhere, but we knew we could all find places to stay, so instead it looks like we'll get a little off of next month's rent.

So I spent the weekend down in Providence with Jason. He came up for a choir practice on Thursday and I just rode back down with him, which probably worked out better in the end since my car is still frozen in an ice block and it would have taken many hours and probably lots of boiling water to free it to drive down to Providence on Friday or Saturday.

V Day started on Thursday when Jason picked me up and had pretty yellow with red/orange edges roses and a heart-shaped box of candy. He also took me out for a fancy Italian dinner** on Saturday and gave me a brown Brown hoodie that is very cute, and also useful since I am always freezing at his place. I totally scored.

In return I gave him a little coupon good for cash toward Irish bagpipes, which he wants to buy. I figured I could help that process along and further his goal of creating a rockin' Irish band.*** I also tackled the mountain of laundry in his room sort of as a V Day/thanks for rescuing me when my plumbing died present. He probably has about 357 T-shirts and at least 200 of them were in the hamper.

So, in conclusion, Yay! Love!


* Jason and I were dating last V Day, but we were both super poor and agreed we just wouldn't do anything.
** Pumpkin-stuffed pasta! Yum!
***Which he invites everyone he meets who plays an instrument to join. It's going to be the biggest Irish band in the world.

I Live In An Ice Cube

So, you know, I can deal with snow. Blizzard of 2005, I was all over that. Going for walks in the blowing snowstorm, relishing my cozy apartment while my roommates and I watched the snow fall, digging out my car.

However, yesterday's Nor'easter was an evil concoction of sleet, freezing rain and snow that, since it got down to about 10 degrees last night, has resulted in a world encased in ice. Usually when I step into a snow bank at the side of the road, it gives and I sink in up to my knee and then I take the next step, sink in up to my knee, and so on. This morning those snow banks proved to be solid chunks of ice, with a light dusting of snow on top just to make it interesting.

I am proud to say that despite ice skating about a quarter of my way into work, I did not fall down. That's really quite an accomplishment for me.

And I would like to say to the taxi driver who couldn't seem to stay on his side of the road despite a widely plowed path leaving plenty of room for a car and a woman trying to avoid the ice slick of a sidewalk, there is a reason I hate cabbies.

Music Commentary

Point 1, Timbaland must have some magical power in his voice that makes me like the songs that say "feat. Timbaland." "SexyBack" and "Promiscuous" come immediately to mind, and the only Pussycat Dolls song I can stomach ("Wait A Minute") feat.s Timbaland.

Point 2, does anyone else think the lyrics to "Smack That" by Akon are the funniest thing ever. I mean, seriously:

smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, 'till you get sore
smack that, oooh.

How do you not laugh? Hard.

So, the thing is, my iPod broke again. Or rather, it's still broken. Whatever. It's doing that clicky clicky, my hard drive is dead thing again. After a few good weeks of enjoying music on my way to and from work, it has died. The above points are a direct result of my being relegated to the Hits station of internet radio while I code documents.

Clever Mousie

So none of us have gotten around to buying any of those sonic repellants and have just been doing our best to keep food off of the counter. Last night, though, Chrissy made her amazing oatmeal bread* and after slicing it we left it on the cutting board. On the counter. We're so smart.

A little while later I came moseying in to get some more bread and the mouse shot out from behind the loaf on the counter and ran into one of the burners on the oven. Angie popped up the oven top, but Mr. Mousie was long gone. I admit, I shrieked like a little girl. I actually like mice in a not germ-infested, domestic forum, but dashing across my counter and eating the amazing oatmeal bread is so not cool.

Angie said there were some traps under the sink that they bought when they had a mouse before, so after securing promises from both Chrissy and Angie that if I woke up before them and came into the kitchen to a mouse corpse, I had the right to come wake one of them up since they're tougher than me and don't mind dealing with little furry bodies, Angie put some peanut butter on the trap and set it on the counter.

This morning I peered around the doorway into the kitchen, and saw only the trap on the counter. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that the mouse had licked the peanut butter off the trap without springing it, and then pooped right next to it as if to say, "Ha ha, suckahs!"

The landlady has been called. The exterminator is coming.


* Chrissy's bread may be a factor in why I'm not losing weight so fast, but that is a sacrifice I am just not willing to make.

You Can Call Me Flower if You Want To

I am a Sunflower What Flower Are You?

"When your friends think smile, they think of you. There is not a day that goes by that you can't find something good about the world and your fellow human."

Maybe. I think moreso recently. What do the people who know me think?

The question that was apparently the deciding factor was the last one, which is about ice cream. I initially chose Peanut Butter Mocha Chocolate Swirl because, um, yum! That made me a Sunflower. But then I went back and just selected Chocolate since I'm also into basic chocolate and then I became Echinacea. I think the Sunflower flavor is more true. Although if the peanut butter was wrapped in pretzels, a la Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby, that would be even better.

Mmmm....ice cream....

(Quiz courtesy of Ezpy )

Huh

So, okay, today has been kind of a weird day at work.

And then we get this news.

Today is the weirdest day ever.

Zoom Zoom Indeed

I think a very important relationship in my life may be coming to an end.

No, not that one.

You all know that I love Bunny, but over the past year or so she's been really disappointing me. First, the airbag consule had to be replaced, then that radiator thing cracked, then the ignition completely broke. After putting a bunch of money into her in both September and October, now the emergency brake light has come on and won't go off and there's a slight worrying smell coming from the engine when I drive long distances (like, for instance, down to Providence to see my boyfriend).

So I think it may be time to move on...

I have checked out many different cars. No, really. After spending an inordinate amount of time building cars on these websites*, I think I've determined that this one is probably the best deal. Jason is miffed because he says I'm copying his choice of car, but I want to point out for the record that 1) he's the one who is always extolling the virtues of the Hyundai, and 2) it's totally different than his car in that it's a 2007 and not a hatchback. I know it's really just because he wants me to get the Tiburon, which would be great and all and really what I would love to get, but it's also significantly more expensive than the Elantra.

However, despite knowing that having a car that is dependable with a warranty would give me peace of mind and make me feel like those drives down to Providence were less chancey, I'm still scared. The fear comes mostly from concerns about money. My job right now could end at a moment's notice if they settle. So while I do have the money right this second to increase my car payment and put down a down payment, it's nerve-wracking to think about doing it because of the insecurity of my position. But then, how much more money do I put into Bunny? She's 7 years old and only has 67,000 miles on her and should seriously not be having so many problems.


* Sometimes I'm reminded of just how much I love the internet.

The Best Thing I've Ever Seen On the T

A heavily pierced and tattoed, totally punk couple, pushing their toddler in a stroller. The mom, with her nose hoop, combat boots and dyed black hair, had a lengthy conversation with the grandmother-type sitting nearby about the kinds of food her child liked to eat and how he was so pleasant to be around and a really good eater.

Our Little Friend

So we're pretty sure that we have a mouse. None of us have actually seen the mouse, but he keeps leaving little...um...presents on our countertops. My roommate Angie discovered the first little present a couple of weeks ago and practically every day we discover more.

Yesterday morning I walked into the kitchen and discovered that in an act of utter disregard, the mouse had knocked over one of our cutting boards and left a little present on top. Besides the ew factor, I think he's getting a little uppity.

My roommate Chrissy left some butter covered in plastic wrap on the counter and when I came in to fix my dinner last night, I discovered that the mouse had gnawed through the plastic wrap and eaten a big chunk out of the butter. Angie said she hopes he dies of high cholesterol.

The thing is, we all know that the mouse is here. I told my roommates about the butter and suggested we not leave any food on the counter from now on. But we're all kind of ignoring it. Like maybe if we ignore him, he'll leave our little treasure trove of snacks for some other place. The alternative is not really something I want to think about, but after the cutting board and butter incidents, we may have to look into traps. Can't we just live harmoniously with the mouse? Maybe if we leave him a little snack every night, he won't actually start burrowing into our cracker and Cream of Wheat boxes.

'Cause You Know What I Really Need Is Another Bag

On the off chance that I ever get an interview again and actually get a real job that requires me to dress like a professional, I've been looking for a nice bag. I've been sporting this microfiber messenger number to interviews for a couple of years and, frankly, it kind of looks like poo. I would like something in black that looks professional. However, since I can't afford Coach or Kate Spade, I've been frequenting the accessories sections of department stores and discount stores alike for some time now, hoping for something affordable that didn't actually look too affordable.

Tonight, my true love Target came through.

Wait, is that a padded computer sleeve poking out of that cute bag?
Why yes, yes it is.

The best part, in my opinion, is the lining, which is that green that is so trendy and is currently my favorite color because I am a slave to the mass media. *
And now we see why Target really is my true love and understands me like no other.

*I think the fact that I have a cute little white Mac book to fit into the computer sleeve is further proof of that statement.

And Then the Zombies Came Into the Store and Cornered Me Because They Thought I Was Their Queen

You know what's the good thing about having a boyfriend? You have someone to tell your dreams to. And I don't mean all those stars and flowers, someday-type hopes and dreams. I'm talking about your actual, middle of the night, maybe I am just a little bit crazy for realsies dreams. The next day you have someone to tell them to. And he has to listen. Because he's your boyfriend and that's part of the job description.

He usually does a good job of listening to my crazy ramblings. Or at least pretending to listen. So that's a plus.

Let's Ask the Internets

Is it wise to embark on a 1,000 mile road trip with your boyfriend?

Maybe.

Will one of the two of you wind up stranded on the side of I-95 somewhere in rural South Carolina?

Quite possibly.

We're trying to get to Florida and have found cheap enough plane tickets, but the rental car is turning out to be very, very expensive. We've checked Kayak, Orbitz, carrentals.com and I even checked out whether my AAA membership would get me a good enough discount. The cheapest so far is $237 for a week. Does that seem a bit much to anyone else?

????

What do you do when you keep checking the job boards and there is literally nothing to apply for? A friend of mine told me when she was looking for a job, she had a goal of getting out 5 resumes a week. Well, I would like to do that, if I could find 5 jobs a week to apply to. Everyone wants experience. I know that if there was something in my field where they wanted a couple of years of experience, I could finagle my law school and scanty post-law school experience into a good cover letter (like the job I interviewed for last Fall). But there really isn't anything. So I just keep checking the boards and emailing the attorneys I know (hoping I'm not just annoying them at this point) and feeling kind of powerless about it all.

I'm lucky because thankfully I do have work right now, even if it is mindless. In reality, though, this case could settle any day and the 40 of us who are here would be back out on the streets. That's kind of unsettling.

I'm trying to be philosophical about it and hope that someday the right job will come along.

Brrr

What could be better than a puffy pink coat?



Why a puffy pink coat with a hood, of course!



It was 2 degrees when I left for work yesterday morning. -14 with the wind chill. I'm hardcore yo.

FYI

You're Watership Down!

by Richard Adams

Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Ahhh, That's Better

The old posts and the old links are still up, but I'm ready for something different. Something fresher and lighter. It's time.

I changed the name because I've decided that my blog title was weighing me down as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Any title that includes the words "Often Overwhelming Life" is going to come off as a little stressed out. And while I may feel that way a lot of the time, and know that I really have no control over many aspects of my life right now, I can still seek for some sort of inner balance.

Several months ago I bought a small river rock with the word "Peace" inscribed on it. When I cleaned my desk off a few weeks ago I came across it and remembered how I bought it as a reminder. A reminder to calm down. A reminder to step back. A reminder to just breathe.

Drive-In

Do you remember the drive-in? I don't think there was anywhere else you could go for such little money and have the experience of a double feature, while sitting in the relative comfort of your car. Movies have always been very big in my family (as have inexpensive outings) so going to the drive-in was an exciting event.

We would load up the backseat of the car with me, sometimes one of my friends, blankets, pillows, and snacks and head to the DeAnza drive-in. Usually my friend and I would start out on a blanket in the parking space next to our car so that we could see better, but we would gradually find our way back into the backseat and be asleep by the end of the second movie.

My favorite Disney movie is Sleeping Beauty, partly because of the way the Evil Maleficent and her accompanying music by Tchaikovsky still gives me chills, partly because of how cute Prince Philip is, even if he is a cartoon. One of the main reasons is because I remember being four or five and thrilled with the animation and the music and Maleficent while perched in the open window of our Ford LTD, resting my arms and head on the roof of the car, with my dad's arm securely clamped around my back so that I didn't fall.

I remember seeing my tough grandpa with the closet full of guns and the camp in the Everglades, get choked up over the closing scenes of Beaches. I had seen the movie a few weeks earlier with my best friend and my friend's big sister and her best friend and my friend's mom and her best friend, all six of us weeping copiously at the end, so I knew what was coming. Of course, Papaw played it off, but I knew the truth.

I remember watching the end of Fatal Attraction out of the rear window of the car, eyes and mouth wide open as Glenn Close just would. Not. Die. Not that my parents would have ever taken me to see Fatal Attraction, it just happened to be on the screen behind our car. I saw several other movies I wasn't supposed to see in that manner. Soundlessly, so they lost some of their impact, but it was sort of like having Cinemax unscrambled sometimes.

I had my first taste of sushi at the drive-in. My parents had recently discovered a pan-Asian take-out place and my mom had started eating California Rolls on a regular basis. One night, peering through the two front seats at the roll, I asked if I could try one. Now that I've had real sushi, I'm sure I would find it disgusting, but at the time, it was the most amazing thing I had ever tasted.

Happily, the DeAnza drive-in is still open. If you're in Tucson, go. Tonight.

Oh the Pain of Fashion

On MLK day I celebrated by having lunch and a good gabfest at The Cheesecake Factory with two friends. Both of these women are amazing people with great insights and if you're Mormon in Cambridge and don't know them, well, a) you've probably been living under a rock, and b) get to know them right away. It will make your life more fun, if nothing else.

Afterwards we did a little shopping. Sometimes when I go to the mall I feel like everything is icky. The clothes hang poorly and/or are made of low quality (ie see-through) fabric and/or come in ugly colors and/or are just stupid-looking. That was the kind of shopping experience I had that day. Then I walked into Banana Republic to meet up with my friends and saw this adorable dress

on the mannequin, with this shrug

on top. So I went and found both pieces in my size to try on.

The mannequin wearing the cutest outfit in the store is such a good marketing ploy. So good in fact that when I went and found my friends and joined them in their dressing room (big enough for 3! Go Banana Republic!), I discovered that Peggy had the outfit too and Mary was currently wearing it. I didn't see it on Peggy, but I will say that you know you've found a good dress when it looks cute on both the size 2 girl and the size 14 girl (except the chest was a little large (which is really a shocker since Banana usually designs for A cups and neither Mary nor I are particulary lacking in the chestular region so I don't know who they thought was going to be wearing that dress exactly) and the skirt flowy so I'm going to say I probably could have worn a 12).

However, upon checking the price tags, I was reminded why I hate Banana Republic and never shop there. $200. For one outfit. Um, no.

But it was so, SO cute.

Weather Report

I realize that everyone in the world is going to think I'm insane when I tell you that I had a little thrill this morning upon waking up to discover per The Weather Channel that it was 7 degrees outside (-4 with the wind chill). See, one of the things I like about New England is the actual changing of the seasons. After living in a desert where the seasons were hot and not-so-hot (with a couple of nights in the teens in January just to keep us on our toes) for 17 years, I am so over the whole no seasons thing. I love all of their seasons in their places and have been a little miffed by the whole no winter thing that's been going on thus far in Boston.

Don't get me wrong. If it were 7 degrees every day I would not be a happy girl. But one day in a week that promises temperatures in the 30's and 40's for the rest of the week is fine.

Plus, today I got to wear my cute puffy pink coat, which was locked up in storage last winter in DC because it never got cold enough. I love my puffy pink coat. It's sassy. And you know I'm all about the sassy.

Of course it puts the kibosh on walking home from work tonight. I did that last night and with the temperature rapidly dropping, my cheeks, which were the only exposed part of my body, almost fell off during the last half mile. They were flaming red and hot to the touch once I got inside. So I don't think I'll be walking home tonight.

Ring A Ding Ding

I realize I'm probably opening up a can of worms here, but has anyone heard buzz, good or bad, on the LG Chocolate phone line? I am all aflutter about the Cherry Chocolate:

Oooo, pretty!

It plays music too, which is handy, especially since my iPod died a few months ago. I know, I need to take it to the Apple store, and my techy boyfriend tells me he thinks the hard drive is dead, which is apparently not that difficult to fix, but in the meantime having a phone that also plays music would make me happy. I would be like those people in the commercials moving my head from side to side to Nelly Furtado and Timbaland.

Plus, since I'm a Verizon customer already, I have money toward a new phone coming to me and if I order it online I get a discount, which makes the phone free. And I already have a Bluetooth headset that I got for super cheap at a Black Friday sale (and which doesn't work with my current antiquated phone). I just need to buy the music pack for $30 and maybe a car charger since that's always handy to have and I'm all set with my sassy new phone.

Of course what I would really like is to be rich and be able to buy the iPhone, but I'll just have to admire from afar until they get down to a reasonable price.

As a bonus question, does anyone have a good site for downloading music? Preferably legal. iTunes is expensive and puts too many restrictions on the songs - ie each song can only be copied something like 6 times. I have a great site, but because of legal machinations it will probably be shutting down within the next few months. Any suggestions?

City Living

Just in case there was any doubt, the crazies, they LOVE me.

After the interminable mandatory DC Bar CLE class ended on Tuesday afternoon I had a couple of hours to kill before meeting a friend at the Kennedy Center to see Orrin Star.* I had gone for a little walk on my lunch hour and noticed a Barnes and Noble down the street.** So once we were released, I mosied over to the bookstore.

I picked up a few books*** and planted myself at a coffee shop table to decide which ones I was going to buy because you know what an English and History major with a law degree always needs is MORE books. I placed the big DC Bar binder from the class on the table and started perusing the books. About 10 minutes later a nicely-dressed man with a brown fedora sat down at the table next to me. We made eye contact and politely nodded at one another. I noticed he had a law textbook.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him take in the DC Bar binder and then he said, "Excuse me, are you an attorney?" I replied yes.

Then he started talking about how he's a law professor and he's involved with this really big case and Oprah is going to get indicted and how it's going to be this big deal. He just spewed forth with information. As he was talking, I wondered why he was telling me all of these details since, you know, aren't client matters supposed to be confidential. Then he said, "We just filed this in court today." Oh, ok, so it's public record now I suppose. But then he kept going on and on. And on. After awhile I smiled politely and said, "Well, I'll have to keep my eye out for that."

Then he asked what law school I went to and when I told him it was in Boston he started talking about how he had interviewed the man who was driving JFK the day he got shot. He got really excited and mumbled some stuff about JFK, then JFK, Jr. and said loud enough for me to make out, "You know, the same people killed them." I must have looked skeptical because he followed that up with, "Didn't you ever think of that?" with a smile on his face and a tone in his voice as if I was a fool to have never thought of that possibility. I said, "Um, no, I never really thought much about the Kennedys actually." He said, "Well, it's true."

I suppose he had imparted enough wisdom to me at that point because he smiled and said, "Well, good luck to you," which I thanked him for. He opened his [Intellectual Property] textbook and proceeded to read cases, taking copious notes on an accompanying legal pad.

So maybe he was legit, and maybe he wasn't crazy, but I'm thinking not, despite the tie and the brown fedora.

* I had no idea the Kennedy Center does free 6 PM concerts EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. How cool is that? Orrin Star put on a good show. Just 2 guys singing with mandolins, guitars and a banjo. Bluegrass mostly with some Irish and Creole music thrown in for good measure. During the concert he mentioned that he had lived in Boston for a long time right near where I live. Small world.

**Yes, I know, Laura Llew, evil corporate bookstore. But it’s the best I could do in downtown DC. I promise there is a great independent bookstore in Cambridge that I heart profusely.

*** Including You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in Conversation by Deborah Tannen, which after finishing 100 pages in a day and a half, I recommended to all of my friends. Fascinating.

Swearing

I'm in DC for a couple of days and just got sworn into the DC Bar. Due to issues with addresses and forwarding and such I missed the deadline for the Mass Bar swearing in and missed out on the whole ceremony. The DC one was only a half hour or so, but it felt neat to be standing there with a bunch of other attorneys, all of us looking spiffy in our suits, swearing to uphold the laws and the Constitution and such in front of the Court of Appeals.

I'm staying with one friend and am going out with a couple others tonight. I have moved around a lot and each time I leave friends behind - or they leave me and move before I do. The upside is, I usually have a place to stay in various and sundry locales. The downside is, I'll never have all my friends over the years over to my house for a party on a random Saturday. I think they all just need to move to wherever I am.

Walking around DC in my short suit skirt and heels helped me remember how very, very popular I am with a certain segment of the male population in downtown DC. I got a lot of comments on my legs today, which I just kind of think of as these big things that are too big for the cute boots I really want to wear. I swear I think one guy wanted to take a bite out of my calves, if the tone of his voice was anything to go by.

I chatted with a couple of other people who weren't skeevy during the course of the day, one of whom held the apartment building door open for me because he saw me struggling up the hill with my suitcase. My friend who I'm staying with chalks that up to my having a friendly face and tells me it happens to her mom all the time. It always happened in Chicago when I lived there and it happens in DC, but it never happens in Boston. Well, except for the cute 20-something guy who started chatting with me one day, only to tell me after about 5 minutes of conversation that he was paranoid schizophrenic, and he thought he should tell his friend Rachel that he thought she was too. Um...k.

Regret

How do you get past regret? They say you should never look back. They say hindsight is always 20/20. But how do I move forward? How do I stop thinking "What if..." and "If only..." and "I wish I had never..."? I don't know and it's weighing me down. Heavily.

New Year

It's that time of year. I really only have 2 resolutions:

1) Get on the ball with the job search. I have excuses aplenty, most notably the fact that the end of the year is a crappy time to look for a job. However, it's a new year. The dawn of a new day. I can't continue to be Scarlett O'Hara, all "I'll think about that tomorrow" and such. Tomorrow has come. I have started today with emailing a contact and actually reading my job board emails. That's progress.

2) Freaking lose some weight. I weighed myself this morning and almost started crying. It's ALL back. Well, not all, I guess. Not ALL the weight I lost since I moved from Chicago, but it's a chunk that I hoped to never see again registered in numbers on a scale at my feet. I knew that the New Year was going to be the start of something big again so I kind of let myself go nuts during the holiday season. Like my forefathers (and mothers) I have food issues. I love food, I love to cook, I love trying new things and savoring flavors and the fabulousness of food. It's ingrained within me and I have to control the urge to try everything and a lot of it all the time.

The plan thus far:

a) Portion control. I know what's good to eat and how much of it to eat. It does involve some prep time so I'm going to need to be more rigid and make sure I do make the time.

b) No sugar. I just have no self control and I know it. I tell myself I'll let myself just have treats sensibly, but that never works. Instead I try a little bit of everything. And then a little bit more because it was just so darn yummy. One day a month and that's it. When I did this before I found that my splurge day cravings became less and less. Instead of having a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a couple of Mounds Bars, by the 4th or 5th month I was putting half the pint back in the freezer to save for the following month's splurge day and feeling a little nauseated at the thought of any more sugar. (Speaking of pints, my new favorite thing is Cold Stone Dark Chocolate Peppermint ice cream with Heath Bar and Oreos. So in case you were wondering a good present for me would be Cold Stone gift certificates for splurge day use.)

c) Exercise. It's key. I enjoy swimming at the local pool and am thankfully working flexible jobs right now so I can head to the pool during their very sparse lap swim hours. The holidays kind of mess with that flexibility since I have to make up lots of hours in a squashed amount of time. So instead of swimming tonight, I'm going to walk home from work. I brought my sneakers and everything.

That's it for the new year. And I am determined to carry these past January.

Paper

To everyone who has emailed me or tried to post a comment about it, yes, I do know I was quoted in a paper about something I wrote on this blog. Thanks for shooting me a message about it. I appreciate you wanting to give me a heads up in case I didn't know about my new notoriety.

The reporter contacted me and we chatted on the phone. My grand summation after the conversation was that I didn't think I said anything incriminating, but then I didn't think I said anything very interesting either, so I would be surprised if she wound up quoting me. Well, she did, but she just quoted something I posted on the blog, which basically confirms what I have been telling everyone for a long time: I'm a much better writer than a talker. This is why I am not the kind of lawyer who goes to court on a regular basis.

The reason why I'm not posting your comments about it, or linking to the article, or saying the paper's name is because the reporter didn't link to the blog, but she did use my last name. I think all 48 of you who read now (wow, site meter really takes a dive over the holidays) probably know my last name, but I'm trying to be as inconspicuous as possible on a blog where I post pictures of me and my boyfriend and our friends and I've mentioned my law school, particularly to future potential employers.

On that note, I've been thinking seriously about taking this blog down because I know it is possible to find it when you do a search for me. Plus, I just don't think I've been that interesting lately. Plus, there are just some things you don't blog about - or at least I don't - and I find myself writing more regular journals entries than blog entries lately. So mulling that over...

Merry Christmas!

Me and my Christmas Eve jammies say Merry Christmas to you and yours!

'Tis the Season

First things first. New haircut.
I had to get a picture fresh from the hairdresser before I washed it and tried to do it on my own. The whole round brush technique continues to elude me. Or maybe I would rather sleep for 20 more minutes than do my hair properly. It's probably that second option.

I'm enjoying Christmastime. My tree:
It should have pearl garland on it, but I didn't have enough for the whole tree so I left it off. We went to IKEA a week and a half ago and I discovered that pearl garland is apparently pretty big in Scandinavian superstores. I stocked up and I should have plenty for next year.

I've been collecting Christmas ornaments for years and have accumulated quite a collection, which I get mocked for every time I move. However, the mocking stops when people see my pretty and classy tree.

Jason and I made a gingerbread house:
I'm particularly proud of my snowy and icicled windows. I think that was a burst of creative genius on my part.

I also like the demon gingerbread army guarding the place.
Well, when they only give you small little round candies in red, you wind up with demon eyes on everything.

The kit came with two gingerbread men to decorate and eat.

I gave mine gloves and shoes.

And then I ate his head.

Internet Radio is Letting Me Down

Did you know that everyone and his or her brother has done a version of "Santa Baby", "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" and "Baby, It's Cold Outside"? It's true. The internet radio churns through at least 10 versions of each of those 3 songs every couple of hours. At first I was marking that I liked some of them, like Macy Gray's "Santa Baby" or The Asylum Street Spankers' "Baby, It's Cold Outside," but I'm now officially sick of those 3 songs and am making it known to Pandora that at this point I like none of them.

Despite my previous glowing review of Pandora, I have to say that I've noticed after a few hours it starts deteriorating and playing random songs that sort of vaguely stick to the original song, but not really at all. This is despite my system of saying that I only like the songs that strictly adhere to my original selection. For instance, how does a station based on "Ding Dong! Merrily on High" by The Cambridge Singers justify playing ANYTHING by Boyz II Men? Usually if I restart the station Pandora gets its act together.

And, yes, I am at my boring job today (versus the interesting one), thus giving me time to obsess about the nuances of internet radio and the ins and outs of the Pandora Music Genome Project. Why do you ask?

Real Work

I have recently tacked on 20 more hours to my work week, give or take. The good thing is, I actually feel like I'm doing real work. It's in health care and hopefully will lessen the effect of the giant document review black hole that is currently the most recent thing on my resume. Two of the people involved with me getting the gig may actually read this at some point, so, um, hi there!

I'm just thrilled to be doing something that feels like real legitimate work. The days go more quickly and I feel like I'm getting my legislative analysis chops back. I know, I'm a sexy beast with my passion for legislative analysis. I just hope that after this ends, I'll be able to find a real job soon because the idea of going back to just document review kind of sucks. This is good motivation to get my bum in gear with the job search.

El Diablo + 66,000

Bunny reached an important milestone on the way to IKEA on Saturday:

Freezery Cold

It's cold outside. I actually like it because I get to wear my cute furry earmuffs and my sassy red scarf and my pretty wool coat. Not to mention the sweaters underneath all of that. I love winter clothes and walking through the snow, and I love feeling all toasty warm inside while the weather is blustery and cold outside.

However, at work I sit right near one of the doors leading to a hallway that goes outside and it is COLD. Every day no matter how many layers I put on, my fingers turn purple and I have goosebumps everywhere. Yesterday I wore my coat all day. I asked today if I could bring in a space heater and was told that would be fine. Hooray! There's only so much tea and sugar-free hot chocolate a girl can drink in a day.

In the course of making my hot beverages more interesting, I discovered this little concoction:

Herbal Orange Spice Vanilla Tea
1 Bigelow Orange Spice teabag (or Celestial Seasonings Manadarin Orange. Both are good.)
1/2 packet Vanilla Splenda (with the creamers in the coffee aisle)
1/4 cup milk (I use skim or 1%)

Combine with 12-16 ounces hot water and let the teabag steep according to taste. Yummy and warm. I only use half of the Splenda packet because the whole packet is really, really sweet.

Christmas Pudding

I want to try to make this Christmas Pudding someday, if only to have a little bit of Dickensian England in my Christmas. However, I'm thinking the alcohol content won't be ok with the whole Mormon thing. I know you light it on fire and many Mormons I know cook with alcohol with the theory that the alcohol goes away if heated enough. But this pudding requires a LOT of alcohol, over the course of weeks while it's setting. Any thoughts from the Mormons in the room?