Acrylic

Who knew a fake nail could make me so happy? A few years ago I ripped off the toenail of my left big toe. I was making my way to work in Chicago when I hit my toe on one of the stone steps in the lobby. Surrounded by fellow commuters, I sucked in my breath for a minute, but kept walking. As I got out of the elevator, I headed to the bathroom to check it out because it was kind of hurting a bit. On the way there, I realized my shoe was slippery. Yes, that's right, blood (apologies to those of you who are squeamish).

Once again Kelly doesn't realize how badly she's hurt herself because of her really high tolerance for pain. The last time I shook something off thinking I really didn't hurt myself that badly was when I fractured my arm ice skating. The doctor came in and slapped the X-ray up on the light demanding, "You fell how many days ago?"

"Three," I answered sheepishly.

He pointed at the X-ray. "See that crack in your bone. Yeah, THAT's why it's been hurting."

I just thought I pulled a muscle.

Anyway, since the big toenail injury, the nail has never grown back correctly. The nail grows excruciatingly slowly, doesn't attach past the midpoint of the nailbed leaving it open for future painful stubbings, and is just generally not attractive. During the summer I can buff it down and paint it and get it to blend in well enough with the other toes so that I can wear sandals. However, several weeks ago, I was buffing it and the tip of the nail just crumbled. So it has looked awful since then and I have been very self-conscious when wearing sandals. I caught some lady staring at my toe the other day when I was trying on shoes at Payless. Rude.

A friend at work suggested I get an acrylic nail put on. They can do that for your toes? The idea hadn't even occurred to me. So while I was roaming around the Providence Place mall on Friday, shopping and wasting time while Jason worked, I popped into a salon. The owner asked what I needed and all I got out was, "Well, a few years ago, one of my toenails got ripped off..." before she interrupted me to say, "You want an acrylic? Sure. Five dollars." OK, then.

I got the nail put on and I got a pedicure. For those of you who have not had a pedicure, go get one tomorrow. Or later today. If you're in Boston, there are a ton of little nail places downtown where you can get a manicure and a pedicure for $25-$30. And they even give you your buffer and file to bring back next time so you know they're not sharing implements between customers. A pedicure makes you feel so decadent. You sit in the vibra-chair, feet in a little foot spa, while the pedicurist works on each foot separately clipping, massaging and finally polishing. It's great.

My point is, my new toenail looks awesome! Plus I realized since having it fixed that I had totally been trying to hide the damaged nail over the last few weeks by curling my toe under inside my sandal, or by standing with my left foot crossed over my right with the left toe pointed down so that no one would really see the nail. It's amazing how a little piece of acrylic can totally make me feel all pulled together when I leave the house in the morning, sporting the necessary sandals because I don't know if you heard, but it is freaking hot on the East Coast right now.