I have come to the realization that there is a distinct lack of funny going on at Chez Blog Kelly. This time last year I had a couple of friends who told me they read my blog and it cracked them up and I should really write, which was my failsafe in the back of my head should the whole law thing not work out. Well, the law thing isn't working out yet, but I don't think I can fall back on my writing prowess since a) I don't think I can find anyone to pay me to write a blog, and b) my writing is dreary and dull lately.
I've come up with a couple of reasons why my blog is less lighthearted than it used to be.
1) I have a boyfriend now. I have to save all my funny for him so he will be continually entranced by my wit and think I'm the most interesting girl ever and, as a side benefit, not notice my expanding hips. He reads the blog too so I can't be all funny here and then go send him an email saying the same thing. I think he'd feel a bit unspecial.
2) Um, if you haven't noticed, my life just isn't really feeling all that lighthearted lately. I have student loans coming due that I have no possible way to pay and am sending off forbearance and deferment forms when what I really, really want to be doing is sending in payments so my debt will actually go away someday.
I'm making half of what I could be making because the freakin' state of Massachusetts still hasn't sent me the info on how to swear into the Mass Bar so I can send in my DC Bar application. I've called several times and have been told that it's coming. Never mind that I'm almost 98% positive that I gave them my new address so the fact that they sent my Bar results to my old address first and by the time it got forwarded to me I had missed the RSVP for the swearing-in ceremony is distinctly their fault.
My thighs and hips are expanding and I'm feeling like all that hard work I did last year was for nothing because I've basically gained it all back now. I'm not up to pre- and early-Boston weight, but I'm up nonetheless. And I just can't get myself out of bed at 5 AM to go swim, which is the best way my body loses weight, because I'm working all day and trying to look for a real job at night.
I'm really lonely here in DC. I talked about that before, but it's still true. However, I had dinner with a friend last week and got invited to a SCANDALOUS Adult Tupperware-esque Party (by a Mormon friend, no less) in a couple of weeks, so that has helped.
I'm continually discouraged in my job search. I get myself all psyched up, thinking I'm going to hit the job boards and send out resumes to firms and network with my contacts and SOMEthing will work out of course! Then I actually go to the job boards and realize that no one hires entry-level attorneys. I send out resumes and get a pile of thanks, but no thanks letters. I talk to my contacts and am told that the job market sucks (I'm paraphrasing).
This time last year I was stressed out, but I still had hope that I would find a job, that this move to DC would work out great. So I apologize for my blog being so bleh lately. I want to keep it going because it is a good outlet for me, but it's not as fun as it used to be for me either. I don't know...I guess I need to think about it.
8 comments:
No worries, Kel. Life is life. I'm going through a similar experience in Seattle, though switch the "job" and "boyfriend" in my situation--and that I'm not staying up late looking for a boyfriend. Okay, it's not a direct correlation, but I know how you feel. You have ups and downs, just like the rest of us. That's just real life. I'm glad you're real about it, because what I can't stand most are people whose life isn't perfect who pretend that it is.
Girl, you don't need to bring the funny for me to be in your bloggerhood. Through thick and thin, I read up on you and love it all!
Hang in there, sweetie. Life. It's messy.
We're soooooo living the parallel lives right now. I gained back all the weight I lost in 2004, and the requisite 10 additional punishment pounds. I search constantly for a job, can't even get an interview!! I mean, seriously, come on! Ugh!
I'm finally doing the writing though. I just can't sit around and wait for an opportunity, so I'm making my own. I'm writing a book about my bar experiences, I'm putting together a plan, and I'm just gonna go out there and be a writer if I can't be a lawyer.
Keep your chin up, hopefully things will be looking up for us both soon! :)
Hey, talking it out helps. For instance, the tenor of your post changes from the beginning to the end - the end actually comes off as more optomistic and forward-looking; so that's a good result.
I'm in the same boat, y'know. Got my degree and nothing much has come of it yet. I carpet-bomb the internet with resumes that seem to drop into a black hole. But the quality of the jobs being advertised is definitely picking up so that could be good. Finally, I heard back from my interview at CNA and they offered me a job! Problem, the shift is 10:00pm to 6:00am and the pay is 30% less than I'm making now, but with great bennies. So to take it would be a big step back on many levels lifestyle-wise. Tough choice.
So, let's all link arms and hang in there!
"I predict: Next week will provide all our answers!"- Criswell
Kelly!
Chin up, dear girl! It's the Weekend!
The Job will happen for you. Yeah, it might take a while...remember, you're trying to get into about the most competitive job market in the country, outside of professional sports. But it Will Happen. Never, ever, ever give up.
Well, at least it doesn't snow as much in DC. Boston's friggin' cold. And perhaps the true reason your writing has (supposedly) gone downhill is because, perhaps, you're even just a little bit ... happy? I've seen the symptoms before .... Some of the finest writing is done when one is unhappiest. Last year, there seemed to be a distinct "nothing left to lose" strain in the entries. No more. Anyway, all of the stuff you mentioned Friday appears to have a brighter side (well, except the student loan thing). You don't have a big time job, but then again you also haven't "sold out" yet, and you aren't bolted down somewhere you don't necessarily want to be. You'll get the bar admission papers you need soon, and then you can have an intimate little ceremony that you can organize on your own, and you can probably have it anywhere you want, anytime. And, you only "basically" gained the weight back, meaning you are still just a little bit lighter, and in any event you're not bigger than when you started. Muscle weighs more than the alternative anyway. And so on. So smile :)
D
Kelly-your blog is fabulous and is still one of my must reads. And for the record you are fabulous and enticingly interesting-never boring or 'blah'. And if you're looking for some good blog topics, I'm sure they will be coming after your adult tupperware party!
Stacy, yeah I don't think I have the capacity to not be real about it anymore. I just don't feel like putting up a front. Well, within reason. I'm not going to tell a happy girl at church to go away and stop talking to me. That's just mean.
Mary, thanks for the support. I'm glad you read even when I'm dreadfully dull.
Eve, good luck with your book. If you ever want some feedback, I'd love to read snippets :) But in the meantime good luck to you and the job search too.
Dad, so sorry to hear about CNA. Would it be a useful foot in the door? Let me know what you guys decide.
Jim, thanks for the encouragement. You're always so good to me.
D, I told Jason today that my crappy blog is all his fault. Dumb boy, making me happy. How dare he!
Ryann, I may have to take pictures and blur out the faces to protect the innocent. Or the not-so-innocent, as the case may be. Hee hee.
Amy, sorry things are so tough right now. Hope you got my email. I'm thinking about you. Your eternal faith is inspiring to me.
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