Several years ago, I went out to dinner with this friend of mine, we'll call him Mr. D. Mr. D had a crush on me for, oh, about six years, but I thought it was pretty clear by this point in our relationship that we were JUST friends and we were only ever going to be JUST friends. After we finished dinner, we were pulling out of the parking lot in his car, when I flipped down the visor and started reapplying my lipstick in the mirror. Mr. D stopped the car, put it in Park, and turned to watch me. I looked at him, one lip lipsticked, "What?" He said, "Nothing. Please continue." So I finished, with him watching me all the while. When I was done, he faced forward again with a little grin on his face, put the car into Drive, and pulled out of the parking lot. A little creepy? A little, yeah. But I had been fending off Mr. D's advances for several years, so that probably added to the creepiness factor. I just thought it was a little odd.
Upon reflection, I realized that he must have gotten a kick out of watching me apply the lipstick. I had the chance to ask a guy friend about it tonight and he confirmed my suspicions. This particular guy thinks Chapstick is the ultimate in sexy, because he likes more simple girls. However, lipstick works too. Apparently, though, lipgloss is the pinnacle of lip sexy. First, it draws attention to the girl's lips, which is always good. Second, it emphasizes how soft and kissable said lips are. Third, - and this is why lipgloss wins - lipgloss guarantees the lips will taste extra good.
Now that I think about it, I recall getting some rave reviews of a sparkly, vanilla-flavored lipgloss at one point...
Pay attention, ladies (for those of you who were ignorant like me). Lipgloss is the key. I just thought I was buying all that Bonne Belle for my own benefit, but apparently not. Maybe if I start applying lipgloss conspicuously in church, I'll actually attract a Mormon boy or two.
4 comments:
But once you had a mo boy, what would you do with him??
Show him my bra strap and watch him spontaneously combust?
yes, I can see that might be fun. Go forth and lubricate with fancy smelling petrolium products.
I must take this opportunity to proselyte about the Lip Balm Of The Gods: http://www.internatural-alternative-health.com/ingr/ingr251084.cfm
It's the best lip gloss ever - yum! And when the boy you attract says, after kissing you, "What flavor is that?" You can say, "One you won't be tasting again!" as you skip away.
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