I had a scary dream on Saturday night, which explains why my sleep has been so restless over the past couple of nights. The really bad thing about it was that I felt like I was awake the entire time. Which begs the question: was I? I've had a lot of strange experiences in that state where I'm sure I'm awake, but maybe I'm not because the things I'm seeing just don't make sense. This has led into a lot of my discussions with people about ghosts. Am I experiencing dreams or is there something more to it?
On Saturday night at about 3 AM I "woke up" and felt like I was being constrained by something. It was as if something enveloped me and I couldn't move. Then just to the left of me, like someone was sitting next to my bed right next to my head I heard this low, evil chuckle. I felt terrified. I was able to turn my head and move my arm enough to reach out to turn on the light next to my bed. I pulled the cord and it didn't turn on. I yanked it 5 or 6 times and it wouldn't turn on. Then I noticed my clock was off and I realized the power was out, which happens every couple of weeks in this apartment. It figured, what with the heavy snow and freezing rain we got all day Saturday. I burrowed down under my covers, still feeling terrified, and literally prayed to not be scared and for the power to come back on. I still felt like I was being forcibly held there in that position and I tried to scream, but couldn't. No sound would come out of my mouth. I waited. After about 15 minutes I realized my humidifier was on, which meant the power wasn't out. I reached out to turn on my light and it came on. My clock wasn't blinking 12:00, which meant the power never went out.
Was it a dream? It seemed so real.
As stupid as it sounds, I slept with my light on last night. It makes me feel better.
I have more of these stories of seeing and experiencing strange things in that state. I wake up in the middle of the night and see something and immediately turn on my light because I get scared. There have only been two times I haven't turned on the light. One was when I honestly thought there was a man in my room and I ran out. The other time I tried to talk to the person I saw. She just smiled and walked out of the doorway.
I suppose I really do chalk these up to dreams, since I've always had an active dream life. I used to walk and talk in my sleep regularly. Maybe I still do, it's just I haven't had a slumber party in so long that there's no one to tell me.
However, it's more chill-inducing to think they are ghosts. But in moments like Saturday night, when I can still remember how scared I felt, it's best to think it's all in my head.
3 comments:
Honestly, once I started to pray I felt better even though I felt like it was still there and I couldn't really move. Another thing was when I looked out into my room, it was PITCH BLACK. There's a streetlight down the street a bit from me so it's never completely black in my room.
It's interesting how once you start talking about these things, it turns out more people than you would think have had experiences like this.
Early this morning at 5 AM or so something woke me up and then I heard a noise like something getting bumped on my nightstand right behind my head. I turned on my light and fell back to sleep with it on. I think I'm just jumpy now.
I've had this happen before, too, but not for many years. It felt very much like how Joseph Smith described the power that overwhelmed him before the First Vision--making you feel despair, and such absolute terror that you just can't move. It was pitch black for me, too. It was while I was in high school, but I'll never forget it.
Oh, and what belovedsmile said about prayer, that helped me, too, but it didn't end, like you said. I just had to wait it out. They just kind of ended after a while, and I can't think of anything I did, other than trying to keep the Spirit in my life. But I think when you're going through a time of particularly important decisions or change, Satan does tend to want to sabotage you. So whether it was ghosts or nightmares or just anxiety, the only way to deal with it is to have the Spirit, I think.
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