Patience

So, culling the 600+ pictures we have so far into something manageable for a blog post is taking longer than I thought it would. We're leaving tonight for Hampi and will be gone for a few days, and then Jason and I leave and spend a few days in Paris and then we'll be back home. I may not be able to post anything of quality until then, but I'm excited to show you all the pictures!

Sarah and I stood up to our auto rickshaw driver who tried to rip us off last night and Jason and Brandon were so proud. We came home from the south side of Bangalore during rush hour and had to settle with paying meter plus 20 rupees because of the hassle. The drivers aren't supposed to do that according to all official rules, but they do and there's not much you can do about it when you need to get home. The men followed us in another rickshaw.

We passed some familiar landmarks and then all of a sudden the driver turned off the main road and into a more residential area. He drove down narrow streets for awhile and checked the meter twice without even trying to hide it. When he turned around the third time, I covered up the meter and said, "What are you doing?" He kind of smiled and said, "Oh when it hits 90 rupees, I have to reset it." OK. But considering it only took us 81 rupees to get to the place when we went down there, why would it even hit 90 rupees?

After that, he wound through a couple more streets and then came back out on the main road. Based on my sense of direction, it felt like he just popped off the main road, did a U through the crowded back roads to run up the meter, and then got back on the main road. Sarah called Brandon and found out their meter was about 30 rupees lower than ours. By the end it was at 102 rupees, meaning he wanted us to pay 122. We refused and Sarah handed him 100 rupees.

He refused to take it and just said "120" over and over while we said, "No. 100." We were both mad and pointed out to him that he took us all around the neighborhoods and all over the place. Sarah said she lives here and knows how much it costs. 80 is fair and 80 plus 20 is 100. The guy eventually took the money, spat at us, and then drove along near us, yelling at us for a few feet.

When Brandon and Jason showed up, we found out their meter was at 70 rupees. Yeah, don't tell us that guy didn't take us on a wild goose chase.

Jason pointed out that we made a big stink for about 60 cents, but it's the principle. And he was proud anyway.

Sarah said probably 2 out of 3 auto drivers are honest, based on her own experiences being driven around town. Sometimes autos are the only way to get to a place and you just have to deal with it.

A Couple of Days in Bangalore

Just back from a stay in the jungle for a couple of days while we do laundry and get ready to go see medieval ruins. I have several good stories and one amazingly awesome story, but they will have to wait until tomorrow, because I am dead tired.

Also, if I never hear a barking dog again, I will be the happiest girl in the world. Bet you didn't know India is the capital of feral dogs and they stay quiet all day in the warm sun, but really perk up and start barking in large groups at about midnight. Or 4 AM. Whatever. Who's keeping track?

Jetlag & Food

I was sooo cocky and proud that jetlag wasn't really ruling my life. Then today we went out to the university where Brandon works and I got slammed with tiredness. I fell asleep on the bus ride back. The bus ride on the bumpy roads with the honking cars and buses and auto rickshaws. I very rarely fall asleep in vehicles, but I was out. We went to lunch and came back to the apartment and I fell asleep sitting up on the couch. I just woke up from a 2 hour nap and even though I feel like kind of a spoilsport, I do feel more rested. Now Jason is snoozing on the couch next to me so apparently I'm not alone.

About lunch. We went to Brandon and Sarah's favorite neighborhood restaurant, which serves South Indian food. Most of the Indian food you get in the US - the curries and the masalas and such - is North Indian cuisine. Apparently North Indian food is a little greasier and heavier than South Indian food, and now that I've had the South Indian food, I can really tell the difference.

We got lassis and the vegetarian meal, which consisted of a sampler of several different dishes. One of the reasons B&S love this restaurant is you can order the meal every day and have something different each time because they switch up the dishes.

They bring out a banana leaf and spoon out rice in the middle of it, with about 10 little metal bowls full of different things to mix in circling the leaf. Sarah and I also got a chapati to dip in a yummy lentil gravy. The bowls had another lentil mix, a super spicy soup, a spicy veggie mix, a dry veggie mix of potatoes and peas, buttermilk and cilantro (to help with digestion), a lemon sauce, and yogurt to cut the spice (for those who can't handle it). Using your right hand only, you mix the various stuff into the rice, roll it up in a ball, and shove it in your mouth. Yum!

Everything tasted amazing and at the end the waiter mixed a spoonful of raw sugar into our little bowl of yogurt (because we're awesome and can handle the spice) for a sweet treat. The best part of all of this is I have license to play with my food, which Jason is always nagging me about. It's not like I play while I'm eating, but afterwards if there's stuff left on the plate, I've been known to push it around and mix things, to the point that Jason compares me to Richard Dreyfuss in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I can't help it - I'm fidgety. However, South Indian cuisine lets me play while I'm eating and satisfies that urge. It's perfect.

Tomorrow we venture to the jungle and I promise my reports will become more interesting and less of a food diary. But seriously, the food is kind of worth documenting.

Bengaluru

We're here! I'm not sure what my internet access will be for the next couple of weeks, but for right now we're at Sarah and Brandon's and I can get online.

Yesterday is the longest I have ever spent on airplanes with a 5 hour flight from Boston to Paris and a 9 hour flight from Paris to Bangalore. I had kind of psyched myself up for it, though, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Especially since the flights weren't even close to full and we had room to spread out.

I highly recommend Air France. For one, they are very nice and won't mock you if you don't understand the simplest questions in French. For two, in-seat TV screens with 12 movies to choose from. Not good movies necessarily, but movies nonetheless. For three, Camembert and mini baguettes with 3 out of 4 meals.

I am a world travel novice and felt a little thrill watching the route map on the TV screens as we passed over Romania, Turkey and Afghanistan and just skirted north of Baghdad. Shortly after we took off from Paris I spent a good half hour staring at the Alps just south of us.

Today we spent the morning laying about. Actually, I thought I had escaped the jetlag thing by staying up during the 9 hour flight (I wasn't really that tired) and getting to bed by 2 AM last night. Pretty good considering that it was 12:30 PM Boston time, right? Then I woke up this morning with a smashing headache and feeling woozy. After a few hours I felt well enough to head out on the town, but I think my body and my brain realized they had missed a day on the way over.

Today we ate great Indian food at one restaurant in a shopping district, and another restaurant just around the corner from their apartment. Our whole dinner cost about 9 dollars. India is probably about the only country left in the world with a decent exchange rate against the dollar. We poked around some shops and looked at curios, bought a couple of presents, tried on some clothes.

Observations thus far:

• Bangalore traffic is INSANE. However, auto rickshaws are pretty awesome. I wouldn't want to ever drive in this city, but I'm okay with being shuttled around. I think I surprised both Jason and Sarah by not being completely freaked out. I figure the drivers know what they're doing. Pretty much. Despite the craziness and one vehicle's proximity to another and the continual cutting off and the constant horn beeping, everyone is remarkably civil about it all. Traffic like that in Boston, or anywhere in the US for that matter, would also include shouting and heated arguments and nasty hand gestures.
  
  
• I think Indian fashion needs to be adopted by American women. Seriously, the clothes are beautiful and comfy and would make us all feel like princesses every day. Sarah and I did a little shopping today. She bought herself a salwar kameez in a beautiful teal color. I actually tried on a kameez (the long shirt) in a pale yellow with embroidered white flowers that was lovely, but I just couldn't justify buying it since I knew I probably wouldn't be able to wear it anywhere really. I'm just not cool and funky enough to pull it off. I did buy another, shorter top with beading and embroidery that I will be able to wear with jeans or a skirt. On the way home from the shops I enviously looked at the Indian women on the streets in their beautiful clothing. Anyone want to start this fashion trend with me?

Right now I'm stuffed full of naan and aloo gobi and having a great time.

The Family Ward

Jason and I went to a new ward* yesterday. Since we got married he has kept singing every Sunday with the Episcopal church we were married in and then we've moseyed over to catch the end of the singles ward with the Mormons. However, the choir director at the Episcopal church just went on sabbatical and it seemed like it was the time for us to figure out where we were supposed to be going to church.**

Some friends of ours have been going to the ward in Providence so we knew what to expect: not a lot of experience, lots of people drifting in and out depending on their mood, only a few dependable people to fill all of the callings.*** The ward is in a poor area with a lot of new members. Wards like that love long-term members who know what's going on when it comes to church responsibility and hierarchy. And, frankly, in urban wards there's the belief, right or wrong, that the white members (usually transplants from Utah who are there for grad school) know what's going on. It was always kind of odd in the city wards I went to in Chicago to see a largely black or Hispanic congregation with a very white bishopric seated up front. To be fair, usually the locals are very recent converts to the church and really don't know how the organization works, but it's no secret that the Mormon church has race issues.

So we walk in and I see the bishop eying us as soon as we sit down. Immediately after Sacrament Meeting he walks up and introduces himself and then pulls us out of Sunday School for a little meet and greet with him and his counselors.

As Jason said wryly yesterday, "We're now part of the ruling white minority." Lovely.

One of the bishop's counselors and his wife invited us over for dinner last night. We were sort of wondering how it would be, since they seem more mainstream Mormon than us, but we had a lot of fun. She has an MA in Art History and he is working on a PhD in Portuguese and Brazilian Studies so interesting things to talk about. They're interested in the art and theater scene in Providence and even though they're from Utah can say that they would be happy to live in New England after he finishes school. Most Utah transplants here for grad school can't wait to get back.

The ward is so, SO different from what I've been experiencing in Boston and DC for the past few years. I have gotten used to big wards full of highly educated people, most of whom are in the city for advanced degrees or really exciting-sounding jobs. Now I'm in a very small ward with huge variances in education level, income level, etc. I know that we will probably be getting major callings as soon as we get back from India. One of our friends was immediately called to be the Primary president, and still is a couple of years later, through her pregnancy and early motherhood. In bigger wards, women are released from huge callings when they give birth, particularly with the first child. But they didn't have anyone to take over so she stayed put.

Then we have the whole "little wifey" syndrome, which is a completely bizarre experience having been single for 31 years. I kept my last name, but found myself introducing myself as just "Kelly" because I didn't really feel like getting into any of the politics of it all by saying something like, "This is my husband, Jason W., and I'm Kelly M."

I think people assume we've been married for longer than we have and that I am sort of tagging along as Jason does his education thing. The men all turned to Jason, asking him what he was doing in Providence, but then didn't ask me the same question, because, you know, I'm just the wife. Jason, very kindly, deferred to me when the bishop asked us to tell him about ourselves.

I know that Jason regrets not being able to sing every week (although he will still sing with the monthly Evensong choir). But the thing is, how much longer could we keep going to the singles ward? And we live in Providence. Driving up to Cambridge every Sunday and sort of hanging out all day wasn't an ideal situation. However, I did miss the Episcopal service this week. It's so very different from the Mormon service, but also touches a spiritual part of me.

Jason came out of his meeting at the end of church with some really strange stories. The women's lesson was boring, but pretty benign. The lesson was about Joseph Smith's First Vision and the teacher in Elder's Quorum apparently started talking about his own visions. Oooookay. And then he proceeded to talk about how he would never swim in the Nile because there is a fish that will swim up a man's penis****, which didn't really relate to much of anything as far as Jason could see. And this was the teacher. Jason said, "At least it will be entertaining every week."

Entertaining? Yes. Spiritually uplifting? Debatable.


* "Congregation" for non-Mormons
** The Mormons organize congregations by geography
*** OK, I'm about done with the explaining the Mormons thing. Basically, we have no paid clergy so all leadership positions, teachers, etc. are members of the ward who are "called" to perform particular duties.
**** Real fish, although it lives in the Amazon, not the Nile. But I think that is seriously beside the point.

Traveling

I know I've made a couple of veiled references to it, but just so you know, we're going to India. Jason's brother and sister-in-law (and I guess my brother-in-law and sister-in-law) are living there for a year. When else are we going to know someone who actually lives in India? I'm sure we'll have lots of pictures and stories when we get back. I mean, Jason managaed to take 1100 pictures during our honeymoon in Maine. He's probably going to go hogwild in India.

As an added bonus, we're flying Air France and when Jason made the reservations they said we could take an extended layover in Paris if we wanted to. So we're capping off the trip with three nights in Paris.

Although I've always wanted to travel, I've never really had the means or the opportunity (or known how to make the opportunity for myself) so this is the first time I'm leaving the country, other than jaunts into Mexico* and a trip to the Bahamas a few years ago. I think going to India and Paris is a pretty good start to my whole world traveler plan.** We're leaving next week and I'm so excited!


* Which sort of don't count as international travel since I grew up 45 minutes from the border and heard Spanish almost as much as English growing up.

** I'm already planning a visit to my friend Ryann whose family will be stationed in England for 3 years. Just warning you now, Ryann.

I Sort of Had A Feeling

Test courtesy of Miss Nemesis.

Fortune Cookie

This is the fortune I got last night:

"Everyone agrees

you are the best"

Who am I to argue with the fortune cookie?

The Scoop

So I got a new job that's actually located in the town I live in. Neat-o.

Basically, a firm I worked for in law school just opened a Providence branch with one attorney. I went in to chat with him about the Providence health law scene, doing the networking thing, blah blah blah. He mentioned that he might be looking for someone associate-level around the beginning of the year, maybe early Spring, so I put that on the back burner of my mind to get in touch with him again around then.

A few days later he emailed and asked me for a writing sample. When I sent it, he said thanks, and he was going out of town for a couple of weeks, but he'd be in touch after the first of the year.

A couple of days after that he called and offered me a job. And flattered my writing. And told me he hoped my commute was awful that night to show me how much I want to be working in Providence.

I got the offer letter on Friday and accepted. It pays more than the firm I currently work for and though it's for 3 days a week to start, my new boss says he sees it rapidly ramping up to something more full time. After I got the letter, I forwarded it to Jason and called him to discuss. He said, "Um, more money with career potential and you get to work in Providence? That sounds like a no-brainer to me." Yes. Yes, it does.

Downside: I have to take the MPRE again in March.

Upside: The passing score is much lower than the Massachusetts score and I passed it for Mass.


Downside (and the reason I'm taking the MPRE): I have to take the Rhode Island Bar. The whole thing. Both days. Including the Multistate, which killed me the first time around.

Upside: Not until July! I'm being all Scarlett O'Hara with my not thinking about it today.

Upside 2: The firm is paying my Bar fees and at least half my Bar prep fees (we're in negotiations for the whole amount). For those not experienced with Bar hell, that's about $2500.

I called my current boss on Friday night and he was actually really happy for me because he knows that A) they weren't in a position to offer me something that would be full time, and B) commuting sucks and it took me 8 hours to get home during that one blizzard. So that's nice. No awkwardness. No resentment for my last 3 days of work there.

I'll start the new job when we get back from India.

Legal Pop Quiz

I just got a job opportunity that would have me working in Providence for 3 days of the week. You know, Providence. Where I live.

I would have to take the Rhode Island Bar in July.

In addition, I just found out that the Rhode Island Bar requires you to have taken and passed(with a score of 80) the MPRE no more than 2 years before you take the Bar exam. I took the MPRE in the Spring of 2005. I just called Rhode Island and yes, to take the July Bar, I have to take the MPRE in March.

I've basically come to terms with taking the Bar again, but having to take the MPRE too is just putting salt in the wound.

Thoughts?

Happy New Year!

My resolution.

Christmas Time

Click on the tree to see our Christmas pictures.

Christmas 2007

Hair

Item 1: I chopped my hair.

Love. It.

I actually cut it about a month ago because my hair was driving me insane. I put off cutting it for a long time so I could wear it up for the wedding, and that taught me that I no longer deal well with long hair. It just looks too scraggly and gets in my way. According to my hairdresser, she cut off somewhere around 6 or 7 inches. She was so nervous and kept asking me if I was sure. I used to be really anal about my hair, but for the past few years my attitude has been, whatever. As long as I trust my hairdresser, that is. It's hair. It grows.

Item 2: Jason's beard is officially out of control, as evidenced by this furry picture of him from Williamsburg.

Arrrr, me mateys.

And this picture of us dressed up for the fancy wedding in New York.


I prefer this level of face hair, if we must have the face hair.

As soon as he gets home I'm attacking him with the beard trimmer.

Back to the Grind

Went to Williamsburg for Christmas and had lots of jolly olde colonial fun. More details with pictures to come. I got two cookbooks for Christmas - the Jane Austen cookbook and the Williamsburg cookbook - and am trying to decide whether to try to make an Austenian or Williamsburghian feast first.

Jason, his parents and his sister are still down there while I am back in Massachusetts, toiling away. I thought maybe I could finagle another day, but last Thursday one of the partners said we would hammer out some details on a project today so here I am. I flew up from Richmond yesterday. We left late from Richmond and I had a really long layover in Newark because apparently Continental routes all its flights through Houston, which had a storm. The Richmond gate agent enthusiastically wished everyone a happy new year and told us all he knew we could get on the plane in 15 minutes and make it out of there only 20 minutes late. Once we all boarded, he came on the intercom, thanked us for our cooperation and told us we beat the time by two minutes. Contrast that with the Newark gate agents who just really looked like we could all die and they would be thrilled. Jason said he doesn't trust the forced niceness of the South, but frankly I like exchanging real smiles with people and having them say a genuine "thank you" when I patronize their establishments. However, I do not like waiting 15 minutes for a soda because the super friendly counter lady is helping out the eight-year old customer by listing off all the hamburger toppings for him multiple times. Um, his mom couldn't do that before they got to the front of the line? Also, I had no patience for the screaming baby on the Monticello tour yesterday. I officially declare that one and a half is too young for Monticello.

Anyway, thanks to storms in Houston, I missed the 10:25 train to Providence and had to wait for the midnight one, which meant I got in around 1:15 AM. However, I am glad I came into work since everyone is here today (to which I think, if I was a partner, I would take Christmas week OFF).

Last night was the first night that Jason and I weren't together since we got married, which, you know, I feel like should have some sort of dramatic impact on my psyche or something, but I was on my own for 31 years so I guess I'm pretty okay with the whole concept. Although I did miss my morning kiss good-bye as I headed off to work. However, Tiny, who has been alone in the house for 5 days, kind of made up for it by writhing around in my lap in ecstasy and butting my head and purring like crazy any time I sat down for a few seconds.

I will be celebrating the husbandless state of the apartment tonight by watching a couple of period pieces that I received for Christmas.* It will be more pleasant to watch them without Jason moaning and whining and asking inane questions about "Mr. Darby" in the background.


* Seriously, my mother-in-law has my tastes nailed (probably because they're similar to hers). Give me some British accents and romance all wrapped up in period costume and I'm happy.

The Big Apple

Last week we went to New York City. Jason's cousin got married to this New York society girl. The wedding was at a very fancy place and the food was AMAZING. The food served during the cocktail hour consisted of things like caviar, salmon and creme fraiche on toast points, fried oysters with salmon eggs, duck and shumai. I was shamelessly diving for the trays whenever a waiter walked by, belying the classiness of my fancy cocktail dress and pearls. Jason had bison for dinner, I had scallops. Then there was this HUGE dessert buffet with chocolate covered strawberries, key lime tarts, mini brownies, piles of cookies and a flourless chocolate cake, accompanied by giant white cotton candy puffs on every table. Oh yeah, and the wedding was lovely too.

This was my very first trip to New York. Yeah, I know. I've lived on the East Coast for 5 years so that's pretty ridiculous. Kind of like how I lived in Arizona for 17 years, but never made it to the Grand Canyon.* I have tried a few times before to go and it just never worked out. We bunked with Jason's parents in their hotel in Times Square and the wedding was on Park Avenue so we were right it the heart of it all.

Wednesday night we went to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. It was spectacularly cheesey, which was exactly what I was hoping for. The Rockettes kicked and danced their hearts out and it was so fun. Then we went to go see the tree in Rockefeller Center.

Thursday, Jason, Marissa and I went to a lessons and carols service at St. Thomas's church, which was lovely. Then we lunched at a pub and met up with Jason's parents at Macy's. You know, the big one on 34th Street. As in Miracle on 34th Street!** The guys left and we three girls shoe shopped, because you know, we were in the biggest Macy's in the world at Christmas time. The shoe department is huge and the sale racks actually had nice shoes in my size, which never happens. I've been looking for new black and brown heels and I found them. Comfy ones, even.

So how did I like New York? I loved it! Honestly, it reminded me a lot of downtown Chicago on a busy night, with it's big city energy. Even at midnight on a Wednesday it was still humming. That energy sort of flows into me as I dodge through the people who don't know how to city walk and make my way down the street, soaking it all in. I can't explain it, but I felt it the first time I went to Chicago and loved the energy.

There is so much to do and to see and to buy. If I lived in New York, I could see myself succumbing to the siren call of materialism. The beautiful dresses and bags and shoes, all with fancy names. I would max out my credit cards and have to go into hiding from the collection agencies and escape to Mexico under cover of night. But at least I would have pretty things.

It was a short trip, and I'm already planning what to do the next time we go.

* However, I would just like to point out that Tucson to the Grand Canyon is no day trip.

** I tried so hard the whole time to look all city savvy and not like a total rube because I have lived most of the last 10 years in big cities, but I admit to being a little starstruck by it all. Like, LOOK it's Times Square! With the big TV's! Just like in the movies! And look! The Tree! And the ice skaters!

Pumpkin Trifle

Jason's parents came into town yesterday and I made a holiday feast for us all since we're going to be in Williamsburg, Virginia for Christmas and aren't really sure what Christmas dinner will be. Plus, I bought a turkey at Thanksgiving when they were cheap because Jason loves turkey and since we were in Chicago for Thanksgiving we didn't get any leftovers.

I made turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes with crunchy pecan topping* and a pumpkin trifle. Jason made cranberry sauce. I am especially proud of the pumpkin trifle, which I put together as a mishmash of a couple of recipes I found, and I even threw a couple of sugar-free and lite things in there to counterbalance the unhealthy. See, I care.

Pumpkin Trifle
First layer:
Spice cake mix, baked according to directions and crumbled

Second layer:
3 packages sugar-free cheesecake pudding, prepared according to directions
1 can pumpkin
1 t. cinnamon
1/2 t. ginger
1/2 t. nutmeg

Third layer:
1 cup toffee bits
1 cup chopped pecans

Fourth layer:
Thin layer of whipped topping (I used Cool Whip Lite)

Layer in trifle bowl twice, reserving a little of the toffee/pecan mix to sprinkle on the top of the final layer of whpped topping.

You may only want to use 2/3 or so of the cake because it's puffy and makes the trifle bowl really full. REALLY full.


* For those of you for were in the Longfellow Park Ward a few years ago, the sweet potato recipe is in the Longfellow Dishes recipe book.

8 Hours

That's how long it took me to get home from work last night, a distance of 50 miles.

Yes, EIGHT HOURS.

We had a blizzard yesterday dumping about 2 inches per hour on New England. I left work at 1 PM, as soon as the flakes started falling. I got home at 9 PM.

Because of the speed of the snow and the fact that there were so many cars on the road, no plows or salt trucks could get through. So not only was the traffic bad, but the highway (I-95 to be exact) was covered in snow and the street was littered with cars mired in snow and unable to get out. I have to give kudos to my little Elantra who got through it all, even though she slid around quite a bit and at two points I really did think we were stuck. But we got out of it.

2 hours in, I stopped at a service area to get some lunch. The service area was 6 exits down from where I started. Yeah. That was when I started to realize how bad it really was.

The first hour I was really, really angry at the whole thing. The second hour I was resigned. The third hour I got a little angry again, but by the fourth hour my attitude was pretty good. Last weekend I downloaded a bunch of podcasts of Agatha Christie mysteries, so those kept me entertained the whole way. A good story is a good distraction.

By the time I got home, I was starting to feel a little hysterical. After I passed the halfway point of my drive, it got much better. Visibility was down but there weren't as many cars and I was moving along at about 25 miles per hour, which felt absolutely decadent. However, right before the Massachusetts state line all of a sudden traffic stopped. As I passed exit 2 and then exit 1, I started to realize why. I passed at least 3 cars and an 18-wheeler stuck in the snow and parked in the middle of the highway. I thought I would be home by 7, but by 8 it had taken me an hour to go about a mile and a half. I figured that there must be a hundred more cars littering the highway ahead of me and blocking us all. My exit was several miles away.

So I called Jason, told him where I was and asked him to find me a way home off the highway. The side roads were not well plowed yet, but there were hardly any cars out and I made my way through Pawtucket into Providence at a good speed. Thanks to a turned sign, I wound up on the wrong street, tried to turn around, and got seriously stuck. I wiggled around, turned my steering wheel and finally got unstuck, although the smell of burned rubber makes me wonder if I hurt my car. Then I got behind a plow and the plow stopped and the guy waved me around to which I thought, Are you crazy, I can't climb that mountain of snow. But I did.

After all of that, two hours from when I thought I would be home at the worst moments, getting stuck and lost on the back roads of Pawtucket, I was close to tears.

And I think that pretty much counts as one of the worst commutes ever for me and everyone else who was stuck in it. Thinking about it now, it feels completely surreal. How could I have been stuck in traffic for 8 hours?! As Jason pointed out last night, I could have driven to DC in that time.

Yesterday was one of the better days to be married, I have to say. Jason called me consistently throughout my ordeal, offering encouraging words and mapping out a new route from the highway so I could get off the parking lot that was I-95 coming into Providence. He shoveled me out a place to park. He had yummy warm soup waiting for me that he and our friend Matt trekked out into the snow to pick up for all of us. And finally, he gave me a huge hug when I got home and told me it was okay to cry - which I didn't really, even though I felt like it.

Observation: BMW drivers are big jerks! I'm sorry if anyone who owns a BMW reads this, but I stand by my statement. Let me illustrate. There was a sense of camaraderie in our misery. Everyone on the road yesterday encouraged each other and was patient as people jumped out to clear off their windshields because since we were more stopped than moving the snow accumulated almost as if we were standing still. At one point my windshield wipers completely froze up and I leapt out of my car to free them. A man in an SUV slowly crawled by and called out his window, "You okay?" I said, "Yeah, my wipers just froze up." He laughed and said, "You need to be able to see!" I said, "Exactly." Then he told me, as the traffic continued winding by, "Well, be careful!"

Two separate people at the service area where I stopped wished me good luck as I headed back out. Everyone was tired and annoyed, but still managed to encourage each other.

Then I got some gas and a BMW cut me off as I was waiting to leave (and one had already not let me in as I was trying to get on the highway in the first place). There was a car in front of me who had stopped while its driver ran inside. I was kind of annoyed, but was waiting for him to get back. This BMW came weaving around me, I guess thinking he could get by the car, which he couldn't. Jut like I couldn't. THEN when the driver did come back, the BMW sped up and cut in front of me. Because, you know, being that one car in front of me is going to make SO much difference at this point.

Add to that the four or five times when I was changing lanes and BMW's sped up to not let me in. You know, sped up to eight miles an hour versus six. This is including times when I changed lanes to get around a stalled car in front of me. Every other time I changed lanes the cars slowed down to let me in. And I let in my fair share of cars. Beamers were the only ones who didn't. I'm just sayin'.

Nano

If I'm a very good girl this year I might have an iPod Nano waiting for me under the Christmas tree.

My 40GB iPod has finally and officially bitten the dust. Actually it most likely just needs a new hard drive (apparently a common problem with that generation of iPods), which will cost about $150. The thing is, the iPod has been a great companion, but I think I want something a little more compact now, particularly when it comes to taking it to the gym.

The question is color. I haven't made it to an Apple store lately and am not sure when I will have a chance to in the next couple of weeks. I thought I might want the green based on the pictures on the packaging on the Nanos at Costco, but then I looked on the Apple site and the green is all in your face bright pastel seafoam green. It looked more subtle on the package.

So I think red might be the thing, but on the website it looks like a kind of pinky red, which I don't want. Can someone who has seen the red Nano in person tell me if it is a good, true red?

Santa thanks you for your help.

Day Four

We're just going to ignore the fact that it's been over a month since we got back from the honeymoon and I'll keep trekking through the days for you all. K?

On Day Four we woke up and headed out to explore points northward a bit more. Actually I was kind of wondering what we would do that day since we were planning to head up to Acadia on Day Five and (I thought) had exhausted the charm of Camden on Day Two. Au contraire, says Jason*, who took us to the Camden Hills State Park just past Camden.

But first, we stopped in Rockland for breakfast. I had noticed The Rockland Cafe on our way through Rockland a couple of days before and had a feeling it would be a great local diner with amazing greasy food and waitresses who call you "Hon". I was not disappointed.

Even though we arrived at 10:55 and they stopped serving breakfast at 11, they still let me order some bacon and eggs. And on the side instead of toast I got a blueberry bagel that I think they just flat out dipped in butter and grilled because Oh. My. Gosh. I have never had such a divine bagel.

After filling up on grease, we drove to the Camden Hills State Park and spent the rest of the day hiking and gazing at amazing views. At the top of a hill I did a little jumping cheer when we reached the marker at the top. Jason snapped a picture and then said, "Ok, do that again, only this time reach your hands up even higher over your head." I did that and then realized just as he took the picture that he was really focusing in on my exposed midriff when I raised my arms over my head. Yeah, you all won't be seeing that picture.

However, here are a few.

We ran into another honeymooning couple who had also been married the Saturday before and we all took each other's pictures.

After our hike we drove to an overlook and watched the sun set over Camden below. Then we drove back to the cottage, stopping at the grocery store to pick up something for dinner. We got a major deal on a big bag of Prince Edward Island mussels and some chopped clams.

Note: plug in electric burners do not heat up giant pots of water very quickly. It took about an hour to get the water to boil for the pasta, and then another 20 minutes to get it to boil again for the mussels.

* Not actually. Just in my blog. He's not that pretentious.

Insecurity

Sometimes I let myself get comfortable and then, Wham!, I'm reminded that I'm still essentially a temp worker and not as secure as I thought.

Day Three

I am WAY behind on the honeymoon report. And no, we haven't gone through the pictures yet. That sounds like something to do tomorrow while we're on a plane to Chicago, don't you think?

Day Three was uneventful. It was the one day of bad weather so we just puttered around the cabin, eating soft cheeses and drinking sparkling cider. Jason is the type of vacationer who needs to be entertained every single second and gets bored easily, whereas I am the type of vacationer who could park myself on the beach for four days straight and be A-OK. However, I had already told him going into this whole honeymoon thing that I claimed one whole day for doing nothing so this was my day. And I reveled in it.

Day Three may also be the day when Jason started his commitment to facial hair because I sort of made a little disappointed noise when he emerged from the shower all clean-shaven. For the previous few days he just hadn't made a point of shaving and secretly I was thinking that the scruffiness, while scratchy, looked sexy. Like instead of marrying logical Scientist Boy, I really married someone more akin to Indiana Jones, only without the hat. Or the whip.

He thought that was awesome and has basically decided to never shave again. Sometimes I think the beard looks great and other times I think he really needs to tidy it up a bit. I'm sure he'll shave again someday, but for now I don't really mind it.

Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow, SNOW!

(The above should be sung to the tune of "Snow" from the classic film White Christmas. In case you were wondering.)

The current weather for my area:

There were a few flurries last night on my way home, but this stuff is for real and is sticking and everything. So pretty!

Cursed

Usually I reserve this type of post for my weight loss blog, but since there hasn't been much in the way of weight loss efforts over the past few months, it's probably more suitable for this forum.

The one sassy accessory that I really, really want to wear are knee-high boots. It's not just a fashion thing. In New England, boots are key to being able to wear skirts without getting frostbite on the calves. The problem is, I have giant calves. I lost 22 pounds this year including 4+ inches off my waist, 4 inches off my hips, and a couple of inches off of each thigh. Each calf lost around an inch maybe, and if I'm honest I'll admit to pulling the measuring tape kind of tight because I just wanted to see some progress.

So I thought maybe, finally, I could wear boots since I had lost a little bit. I ordered some with plus-size shafts thinking those HAD to fit, right? They came on Friday and I excitedly tried them on only to find that the zipper stopped about halfway up, right around where my calf gets bulbous with the muscle. I moaned and wailed to Jason about the unfairness of it all.

I thought, maybe if I keep them, when I lose 20 more pounds they'll fit! I thrust my leg into the air, tightening the muscle, trying to see if there was any fat to lose on it. The fact is, it's pretty much all muscle. There's maybe half an inch and that's it, and those boots each needed another inch for the zippers to close.

I blame it on swim team since I was 6 years old and the genetics that saddled me with large, muscular, not feminine at all legs.

At least Jason still loves me.

I know spot reducing is a myth, but have any of you done any exercises in particular that you noticed particularly diminished your calves? Because I am open to suggestions.

Despite this setback, I am really tempted to just call a time out on eating right and exercising for the holidays. I know it's a cop out, but I lost 22 pounds earlier this year and even after a solid 3-4 months of not really watching what I'm eating and not really exercising much, I've only gained 3-5 back, depending on the day. When I'm with Jason I admit, I don't eat very well. But the rest of the day, I usually just eat cereal for breakfast and salads for lunch. Last year I started losing weight with a New Year's resolution, and I think I may just let myself enjoy the holidays (within reason) and start up again in earnest with the New Year. I have 23-25 more pounds to lose before I hit my goal weight and I know I can dedicate myself to it fully once things like piles of turkey and festive pies are out of my field of vision. Plus, starting the weight loss program again will mesh nicely with some other goals I have about growing some stuff and trying to eat more locally. More on that later.

Jason and I celebrated 4 weeks on Saturday. Already?!

To Anonymous

I wanted to respond to a comment left by an Anonymous commenter to my last post regarding being Mormon and getting married in the Episcopal Church

Let me start by explaining our situation. We decided to get married in the Episcopal Church for several different reasons. I don’t know how Jason will feel about me outing him, but he was married before and there would have been a 3-18 month waiting period, along with a lot of paperwork in order for us to get married in the Mormon temple. We wanted to be able to set a date and plan our wedding without the added stress of just sort of hoping that the clearance would come through by then. Plus, for me, getting married outside of the temple settled a lot of internal turmoil that I had always had as one of only 3 Mormons in my entire family. By getting married in a church, my extended family could come to my wedding.

Another reason is that Jason has sung in the choir for about seven years and considers the congregation to be part of his spiritual community. I do not have the same connections to that particular church, but thanks to a longtime Episcopalian friend, have had involvement with other Episcopal churches in other citites. She was thrilled to learn that the Episcopalians "got us." :)

Before getting married, we met with the rector several times for pre-marriage counseling. We were perfectly up front about being Mormon, but wanting to get married at Christ Church. At our first meeting he expressed his own concerns with the service being disingenuous to both of our faiths. I understood his concerns and we spent a lot of time discussing our feelings about our own faith, and about what it meant to us to be married at Christ Church. The Mormon Church does not have a monopoly on my spiritual experiences, and I can honestly say I have felt the Spirit and felt spiritually fed by the services at Christ Church. Jason and I both wrote letters explaining why we wanted to get married at that church, in that faith, that went first to the rector and then to a Bishop for approval. In addition, Jason’s Mormon bishop sent a letter to the rector stating that he supported our marriage and we would not be ostracized by the Mormons or violating some Mormon theology if we got married in the Episcopal Church. We respect both religions and wanted to be respectful to both when we got married. I am sorry that Anon’s friend did not choose to be so up front. I can understand why their mutual friends were hurt.

We are both blessed with supportive family who would never think of boycotting our wedding. Jason’s family is mainly Mormon, but they came or expressed regrets if they couldn’t make it. As I mentioned before, since none of my extended family is Mormon, there was no conflict there. I understand the sacred nature of the temple, but it meant a lot to me to have my family and non-Mormon friends around on that special day.

The thing is, I don’t think getting married in the Episcopal Church was no big deal. I would not want anyone to think that I take the sacrament of marriage lightly in any religion. It was a beautiful and blessed day. I will always feel a connection to the church and to the community there who were and are so supportive of us as a couple. Jason still sings there and I usually attend as well and then we go to Sacrament Meeting at the LDS church around the corner. The choir at the wedding was made up of 20 people, about half Mormon and half Episcopalian. I don’t think anyone who was there thought our marriage was dishonest or disingenuous, but just a beautiful ceremony, blessed by God.

I’m sorry to not really have any advice for Anon, as I think the Mormon friend handled things poorly and wasn’t very respectful of either religion. It probably would have been better for everyone involved if she had just said that she was Mormon, but that she wanted to get married in the Episcopal Church out of respect for her fiance’s traditions, which I’m assuming is the main reason.

Pictures

We got some photos from the wedding photographer. Just a sneak preview until he finishes getting all of them done. I can't wait to see!*

* If you are in the Boston/Worcester areas (or probably most of New England) and need a photographer, I can highly recommend ours. He is an amateur so he was cheaper than most others, which was a big bonus for us. Amateur or not, I think he does lovely work.

Home

Well, we did it. We got the place cleaned up in time for the Open House - which wasn't really much of a rager, but was excellent motivation for getting the work done. To be honest, we just got the kitchen, bathroom, dining room and living room done, but those were formidable. In the guest room/office we both have stuff piled on our respective desks that we need to go through, and our bedroom now holds a huge pile of wedding gifts, which we also need to go through. My car is stuffed full of things going to Salvation Army. But the common areas are done and they look so, so nice.

Last night we built a fire and lit everything by candlelight. Today is Jason's birthday and we're just hanging out with his friend Matt, with another fire in the fireplace, and the candles lit. Not only is candlelight very flattering, but the candles really do make the place warmer. Jason and I are both candle junkies and will probably have a candlelit home on most winter evenings.*

I know we still have some work to do, but it is insignificant compared to the amount of labor we've already put into the place. I finally feel comfortable in the apartment and am thrilled to not be living in a giant obstacle course anymore. Maybe it's the candles and the fire, but the whole place feels really cozy now. I sort of wish my office took Veteran's Day off so I could stay home tomorrow and just revel in the coziness.

It's such a relief to almost be done. Now we can concentrate on the things we were putting off. Like getting a new bed. Jason's has sort of been falling apart for awhile now, and I'm not crazy about the style anyway, so we're going to get a new one. Plus, move the bed so I can get a nightstand on my side. Plus get rid of the big table in the kitchen in exchange for a kitchen cart and a dishwasher on wheels.** Fun times.


*After completely filling 3 of the 8 shelves on the Expedit with candles yesterday afternoon, I declared a moratorium on candle buying in our house. Only I just remembered that a friend gave me a Pier One gift card at my bridal shower and, seriously, they have awesome candles. So I may have to break my own rule.

** Our apartment is awesome, but we don't have a dishwasher, which is a major issue for someone like me who likes to cook. Supposedly the portable ones work pretty well so we're planning on trying one out.

Seriously?

When we first started planning the wedding, I signed up at The Knot, which was useful for finding some hairstyles I liked, and helping me to keep my perspective by reading through the craziness people go through for a wedding. They had a checklist of things to do with assigned deadlines based on our wedding date. Since I started planning 4 1/2 months before the wedding, I was already WAY behind based on their calendar. But since we kept things relatively simple, I really only needed to worry about half of the stuff on their list.

About a day after the wedding, I got an email from The Knot announcing that they had automatically switched us to their sister site The Nest. Which, based on the sponsor emails I've been getting ever since, is basically all about having babies and planning for babies and all of the adorable yuppie accoutrement you can get for your babies. Eeek! Hi, can we have a chance to catch our breath after the wedding, please?

Day Two

The Cottage; Waterbreak; Camden

We woke up at the Hampton Inn, ate another carb-ariffic complimentary breakfast, and then headed over to the cottage to talk with the owners. They were so, SO mortified over the whole fly issue, and told us they had already cleaned the place that morning. We could either leave and they would give us our deposit back, or we could stay and they would knock another $100 off the price. We told them we would like to stay, but we thought maybe we should wait until dark, when the fly invasion really started the previous night, before we decided.

The owners understood completely. They suggested 5 or 6 things we could do in the area to keep ourselves entertained and we headed off for an adventure.

One of their suggestions was a waterbreak jutting out into the ocean with a little lighthouse at the end. According to the signs, it was a little less than a mile to the end of the waterbreak, which was made of giant blocks of granite, carved out of local mountainsides and plunged into the ocean to protect the shore from the water. Also, apparently, it's a very dangerous waterbreak. We were told to be careful, people have fallen and hurt themselves, possibly fatally, on the waterbreak. We were also told to not go out on the waterbreak during a storm because of lightning. And you know they had to say all of that on the sign because it's actually happened.

Jason took about 500 pictures on the way out to the lighthouse and on the way back. The day was clear and sunny and a little cooler. We saw a seal, some sailboats and a ferry boat shuttling 4 large dumptrucks out to one of the islands.

Then we headed further down US 1* to Camden, one of those quintessential New England towns. We spent some time just sitting in a lovely park overlooking the harbor, then walked down the main street. I am very grateful to Jason's mother, who taught him to indulge a woman who likes to poke into the little shoppes** and ooh and aah over precious house- and kitchenwares. Although, he did pretty well on that trip I must say, since I bought him Maine Blueberry Spread at Stonewall Kitchen*** and two monkey figures at a cool outlet store. And yes, I realize the irony of that when I've been spending the last several weeks complaining about all of the crap he has. But the monkeys were really cute and he loved them so. Even while he told me he didn't need them, I could see the longing in his eyes.

That evening we ate seafood at a restaurant overlooking the harbor that initially looked kind of sketchy, but wound up being really, really good. The 1970's easy listening strains of Air Supply playing over the sound system were just a bonus to the outstanding food really. I think there were several locals in there, which always speaks well of a place.

We headed back to the cottage, wary of what we would find. I figured we would turn on some lights and then wait a half hour to an hour. If the flies returned, back to the Hampton Inn we would go. But they didn't. That day, the weather turned and it started actually kind of feeling like Maine in October. The cold apparently chased the flies back into their normal winter hibernation patterns, or whatever it is flies do when it gets cold. After a quick call to let the owners know we were staying, we turned on the little gas stove in the corner of the living room and settled in for the evening.


* I have this fantasy about driving north on US 1 to the very end. Jason thinks I am crazy because there's nothing for the last few hundred miles of US 1 except Maine wilderness. But I've been to the Southern end of US 1 in Key West. Since I live so close (relatively speaking), I would like to get to the Northern end too.

** Pronounced "shoppeys".

***As well as Maple Pumpkin Butter and Blue Cheese Mustard for myself. If you have one of these stores near you, I recommend going simply because they had about 20 different spreads and dips that you could sample in the store.

Day One

Since we're spending all of our time cleaning the apartment, we haven't had a chance to go through and cull the 1100 pictures that we took on our honeymoon. I don't want to forget the little details, and some people have been asking how it was, so I'll give you the details and then supply pictures after our Open House.


Wedding Night

Oh, please. I'm not going THERE, I just forgot some end-of-the-wedding details before. Mainly that all of our dear friends decorated my car. Yeah, thanks, dear friends. First, the doors were all tied shut with gift ribbon. I think there's still some hanging from the passenger door. Then they filled the entire car with balloons. And I do mean the ENTIRE car. We had to pop a whole bunch before we could even drive away. We pulled over a few miles down the road and popped the rest of them because there was no way Jason could drive for an hour to the hotel with the balloons bobbing all over the car.


Day 1: Driving; Arriving in Maine; The Flies

After chowing down on our free Best Western breakfast, in which Jason truly amazed me with the amount of carbs that one stomach can hold, we set off for Maine and our little cottage on the shore in Cushing. On the way we listened to the CD of our ceremony and I once again felt so grateful for all of our friends who participated and created the beautiful music.

Since the leaves changed late this year that meant we didn't have a lot of Autumn color for our wedding, BUT the drive up to Maine was absolutely beautiful. So, you know, I'm sorry wedding guests, but I wouldn't give up the views we got during our honeymoon drives and hikes for anything.

When we arrived at the cottage, we were floored by the amazing view. The cottage looked out on a little cove of the Atlantic. Across the water we could see another shore, full of sweet houses and beautiful Autumn colors. A porch swing hung from a huge tree looking out over the water. Then we went inside and were charmed by the cute little cottage and the obvious care put into making it a perfect little retreat.

Then I noticed the bugs. There were two large windows on each end of the house and at the top of the windows I noticed a bunch of ladybugs and flies. Huh. I determined that we really needed to do something about that. We planned to go to the store anyway to get some groceries for the week, so while we were out we picked up some bug spray too. I figured it's a country cottage, it may have some bugs, but I don't really want to sleep with them.

We got back to the house and I set to work spraying the edges of the windows where I thought they were coming in, and any of the individual bugs who happened to light on a wall or a table. Fly bodies started littering the floor and the futon, but there still seemed to be so many of them. I started getting paranoid, listening for the telltale buzzing, and swore to Jason that I could hear them above us, in the ceiling, massing.

Jason grabbed a magazine and started swatting. I had to make a phone call so I ducked out to the car for 20 minutes. I could hear periodic *thwacks* as Jason wielded his magazine. When I came back inside, Jason, looking harried, asked me, "There are more, right? I'm not imagining that, right?" I looked at the light in the ceiling and gasped. When I left there were maybe 5 or 6 flies, and now there were at least 40 swarming around the light.

"We can't stay here!" I exclaimed, and teared up. My carefully laid plans, thwarted. I really wanted to stay in that sweet little cottage.

The owners lived next door, but they weren't home. I called and left a message on their machine, explaining about the flies. We went out to dinner, leaving a light on so the flies would still be swarming when the owners got home and they wouldn't think we were insane.

In rural Maine at a certain hour, you're kind of limited with your meal choices, and we wound up at Applebee's. While we were there, the owners called us and they were so apologetic and so appalled. They figured that the warm weather (it had been 80 that day, October 21st) had disrupted the flies' schedule and they all thought it was Spring. But the owners said that they had never seen so many flies. They kindly gave us $100 toward a hotel room that night.

After dinner we went to the Hampton Inn next door, which wound up being ni-ice. Okay, maybe not if you're used to the Plaza or something, but they had a big flat screen TV wherein we could watch the Red Sox in the playoffs, amazing smelling toiletries with names like "Purity", a fancy marble-topped cherry wood bathroom vanity, and a plush bed with high threadcount sheets. The Hampton Inn is our new favorite hotel.

Coming up: Day Two, Back To the Cottage.


PS Don't worry, we did actually get to stay at the cottage.

Coming Along

"I'm really liking the new classy look of the place. There's so much space in the dining room and it looks niiice."

Says the new husband to his little wife as he excitedly dashes around pointing out the bits he particularly likes of their apartment as it gradually comes together, helped along by the wife's furniture arranging eye, the mass filtering out of useless crap and new slipcovers on the sofa and loveseat.

Sometimes it's best to just smile and say, "I know, isn't it great?" rather than, "I told you so."

The Merger

Jason and I have started the gargantuan task of bringing our belongings together to form one home. Those of you who have ever seen Jason's apartment or participated in the agony that is moving Jason to a new place, will know what a triumph this will be. I have a fair amount of stuff myself, which is currently all piled in the middle of the living room, but Jason has managed to fill a 2-bedroom apartment with a dining room and a huge living room all by himself. And when I say "fill" I mean it. Every surface is covered, every inch of the perimeter has something in it.

The state of the apartment has caused several sets of tears and freakouts on my part. This past summer was supposed to be the summer of organization and cleaning. Well, we cleaned the dining room nicely one weekend and created a pile of stuff to be sold. Then things from other parts of the apartment started gradually migrating into the dining room and it looks like we never cleaned. I cleaned and organized some of the kitchen cupboards, but didn't do nearly as much as I wanted. Jason did actually get rid of a couple of computer harddrives (a miracle I thought I would never live to see), and spent a lot of evenings organizing and cleaning and listing things on Craig's List and ebay. But I don't think you understand the amount of things that Jason has. Although it was obvious he had cleaned, and I lavished effusive praise on him, there is still SO MUCH STUFF.

I am by no means a neat freak, I just want things to be relatively neat and sanitary. I also can't handle every square inch of space being filled with something simply because there is space to fill. No, really, blank floor and wall space is allowed. I promise.

The good news is, we have a deadline. On the 10th we're having an Open House to celebrate our marriage with those who we weren't able to invite to the wedding (and any of the people who were there who want to show up), as well as a birthday party for Jason whose birthday is the next day.*

On Sunday, I had a mini freakout as I looked around wondering how in the world we were going to get it done by the 10th. Jason calmed me down and said that a positive attitude on my part would really help a lot. True. Then in a cute moment, which Jason may or may not remember, on Monday morning when I left for work, he gave me a kiss and in a half-asleep voice mumbled, "I'm sorry it's so messy, Baby. Don't worry, I'll clean it up. I promise...I'll clean it..."

Last night we joined efforts and got it done. Or at least some of it. I unpacked clothes into my closet and we moved my dresser to its proper place and mostly cleared the bedroom floor. I woke up this morning so happy to not be tripping over random piles of clothes and suitcases as I tried not to wake Jason up while I got ready for work.

One room down (mostly), four rooms to go.


* For anyone keeping track, I was born on 10/10, he was born on 11/11. I was supposed to be born on 11/11. Spooky, yes?

Tradition

Something old: my very first lost baby tooth sewn into a handmade eyelet bag by my mom and then tied into the bustle under my dress.

Something new: dress, veil, etc.

Something borrowed: pearl earrings from my grandma.

Something blue: this was a tough one. At the last minute one of my bridesmaids drew a tiny heart on my pinky with a blue pen.

And apparently there's another part to that saying that includes a sixpence in your shoe. My dad found me a sixpence at a local antique shop. The proprietor asked if it was for a wedding and when my dad said it was, the man gave it to him for free. So throughout the ceremony and for part of the pictures, I had a sixpence in my shoe.

Going To the Chapel

It’s been almost a week and a half since the wedding and I don’t know about everyone else, but I had a great time. There were a few things that went wrong, but no one knew about them except for me and Jason. We rehashed everything on our honeymoon and came to the conclusion that if the caterer had just paid attention to the directions I gave her, those few things would not have happened. Basically, I met with her a little more than a week before the wedding and walked through how the day would go. I sent her numerous emails with very specific instructions and even saw her the day before the wedding and went over a few last details. Although we finished with the photos a little early after the ceremony, which apparently put her all in a tizzy, that still doesn’t change the fact that she took it upon herself to rearrange the tables, not put the guest book table where I told her to, not put the favors by each plate, not let people into the reception room immediately following the ceremony, not put the pies out on the pie table, not light the candles in the centerpieces, etc. She also changed the menu and didn’t include cranberry chutney with the pork. This is despite us discussing it at the tasting as an option and me emailing her with our menu choices, specifically saying we wanted the cranberry chutney and not the usual apple maple sauce, as well as mentioning it numerous times in our emails. She insisted to me during the reception that I was wrong and we never discussed a cranberry option.

My MOH said, “I don’t care how right you think you are, you do not tell a bride on her wedding day that she is wrong about anything.”

It’s too bad, because up until the actual wedding day, I was prepared to write a glowing referral for the caterer to put on her website. However, appearing to pay attention to the details and actually listening and following through are two different things, and you will not get credit for the former without the latter.

The only other thing that went wrong was that the corsages somehow never made it over to the church. I don’t know what happened, but there was some sort of mix up. Jason’s mom, my grandma and Jason’s grandma didn’t get their corsages, which was too bad, and if any of them are reading, I apologize profusely.*

So those are the not so smooth bits, which honestly barely made a blip on my radar on the actual day, and really only make me mildly irritated now.

Now the good stuff. First, the weather was AMAZING! It rained like crazy the night before, was a little cloudy in the morning and then cleared to a beautiful sunny day, perfect for outdoor photos and all the buzzing around we had to do in the morning. It was just awesome and I’m so grateful for all of the prayers and good thoughts that went out on our behalf and changed weather.com’s predictions. Take that, Weather Channel!

The ceremony was beautiful. Contrary to all the reports I had heard, I was not in a bridal haze and I remember every second. Jason did a wonderful job choosing the music and I am still amazed that the beautiful-sounding choir was made up of our friends. I got choked up a tiny bit at one point during the vows, and so did the rector, but otherwise I just felt very, very happy and smiley. As a bonus, we were able to use the choir microphones to record the entire ceremony, which we listened to the next day on our way up to Maine. The speaking voices are very quiet, but we think they got picked up and Jason thinks he can separate them into tracks and boost the sound so that we can send a copy to my mom (and anyone else who requests one I suppose).

I had a great time at the reception, in which we were introduced as Dr. Jason W___ and Kelly M____, Esquire. Awesome. We got to go around and chat a little with almost everyone, dance, cut the pies, all the usual stuff. Our first dance was “The Book of Love” by The Magnetic Fields** and the daddy-daughter dance was “Little Miss Magic” by Jimmy Buffett (my dad is a huge Parrothead). The last dance, which wasn’t really planned, but worked out well, was “Come Away With Me” by Norah Jones.

I thought I might feel kind of silly dancing in a wedding dress, but I actually felt like, well, everyone is looking at me anyway, might as well have fun. The skirt on the dress twirls really well. I’m pretty sure there are many pictures of Jason and me spinning around in a circle with our friends’ two year-old daughter Naomi, who really likes the two of us generally, but was completely in awe of my “princess dress.”

We honeymooned in a little cottage in Maine. Once I get pictures from Jason***, I’ll post about that. Suffice it to say, Maine was absolutely beautiful, the weather and the changing leaves cooperated perfectly, and if you’re looking for a down home greasy spoon, I highly recommend The Rockland Cafe, where we breakfasted three times****.

We haven’t gotten anything back from the official wedding photographer yet, but here is a picture that Jason’s dad took.

*****

* I do need to say a great big thank you to the Jenns, Jasmine, Cat and Angie who came over to help put the flowers together while I rushed around finishing with my packing. The boutonnieres, corsages, and bouquets looked amazing. Several people, including Jason, were shocked when I assured them that a bunch of girls sitting in my living room put together those lovely flowers. My friends rock.

** If you don’t know this song, go listen to it. Right now. I love it. It’s sweet and funny and, in my opinion, a very real depiction of love. Jason played it for me as an introduction to The Magnetic Fields shortly after we met and I knew it was our perfect song when we decided to get married.

*** Who is Crazy Photographer Man and took 1100 pictures. I only look supremely annoyed at having my picture taken for the thousandth time in one of them.

**** The first time we arrived at 11:55 AM and despite the fact that breakfast service stopped at noon, they were perfectly happy to cook me up some eggs and the best bagel I’ve ever eaten in my life. I really don’t want to know how much butter was involved.

***** Hair by Rachel.

Thursday is Going to be Busy

- The tailor is still fighting some sort of illness, which is why he wasn't there last night when I stopped by to pick up my dress like we had arranged, and why he was MIA for most of the day today. I finally reached him and I'll have my dress tomorrow morning. I am torn between feeling really bad for him and getting a migraine because I was supposed to have my dress a week and a half ago. Feeling really bad for him is definitely winning, but it's hard to have perspective. Well, it's hard for me at least, today, right this second.

- The flowers are a day late. The wholesaler was supposed to deliver them today to my lovely friend Sylvia who works from home and thus could be there when a delivery person showed up. However, they called me and apologized, but said they were running late and the flowers would be there tomorrow. Crossing my fingers that they're telling the truth and I will actually have a bouquet come Saturday afternoon.

- Thursday is now the day when EVERYthing is happening. I had planned for everything to be spaced out nicely, but now we have dress pick up, massage (which I'm really hoping I can relax enough to enjoy), lunch with my MOH who gets in on the red eye tomorrow morning (yay!), flower pick up, flower prepping for the big flower arranging on Friday night, running a few last errands that I had planned for what I thought would be a fairly uneventful Thursday afternoon, bachelorette party.

- I have seen anywhere from 70% chance of rain on Saturday, to clearing early Saturday morning and turning into a nice day. On my photographer's suggestion I'm going to buy a nice umbrella tomorrow and make the best of whatever may come.

- My boss gave me a shot of perspective this afternoon when he said that even though all this craziness is happening now, on Saturday, I'll still be married. And I added, "Yeah with all my family and friends around." And then I had to stop talking because I was going to cry.

Anyone for Soup?

One of my jobs just had a little wedding good luck party for me that was a complete surprise. They got me a yummy rich chocolate cake and a whole stack of presents, including my very favorite thing that I registered for*. I love this little soup tureen and bowls (another friend gave us the other 4 bowls so we have 8). They are definitely something that I would never buy for myself but that I really, really wanted.

The color and glaze reminds me of my parents' wedding dishes that I grew up with that were brown glazed with an off white rim. When I was little I remember thinking they were too dark and oh-so-70's. Of course, our avocado green appliances probably didn't help assuage that impression. Now I think that glazed brown is classic and so perfect for eating soup out of on a chilly night in front of the fire.

*Er, we registered for. Whatever, I've discovered registering is all about the woman unless the guy really likes to cook and is into home decorating. I am getting a little thrill and doing a happy dance every time we get something new off of the registry. Jason could care less. I mean, he's grateful that people are buying us stuff, but he would rather we registered for DVD's of TV shows or computer hardware. I wanted housewares, gosh darn it, as is my bridal right.**

**Wow, I'm glad this wedding is happening soon because I'm getting pretty insufferable.

Divine Intervention

Could everyone please say some prayers or send good vibes toward Cambridge or whatever your inclination may be that it not rain on Saturday? This past weekend was absolutely beautiful and as Jason and I walked around with the photographer yesterday afternoon scouting out many, many different places where we could get beautiful outdoor pictures, both of us thought that there was no way that the 20th would be as nice. There is no such thing as two nice weekends in a row in Boston in October. Sure enough, as of right now it's supposed to rain Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

The church where we're getting married is pretty and we'll take some pictures there, but we're also planning on taking pictures of the two of us in Mt. Auburn before the ceremony, and then taking pictures outside after the ceremony. Rain would destroy all of those plans. I don't even mind clouds so much, even though it won't be quite as pretty during the ceremony, just no rain.

Originally we were planning to get married on the 13th and now I really wish that had worked out. I guess it would just be wrong for there not to be something for me to stress about.

Crisis Averted

My dress is back in my life. I called for the fiftieth time this afternoon and the tailor was there and profusely apologizing. He apparently got sick and was actually in the hospital. I sort of veered toward Bridezilla as my thoughts ran along the lines of, "Well, I'm sorry you were sick, but this is my wedding dress!" I didn't actually say that, though. I said I was sorry he was sick and we scheduled a time for me to come in tomorrow and make sure everything fits.

I was more freaked out about this than I was letting myself think, though, because when I hung up the phone, I started crying. It was kind of ridiculous, but just the relief of knowing I had my dress was too much for me at that moment, I guess.

We moved most of my stuff down to Providence today, although somehow my room is still a mess. Granted, I do have a few more things I'll be sending back down with Jason when he comes up on Tuesday night. Plus, I have 3 garbage bags full of stuff for the Salvation Army. Plus 2 bags full of garbage to be taken downstairs. Plus a dresser, 2 bookshelves and the bed are still here So the room is still basically full, which is kind of crazy when I think about all of the stuff that is now piled in Jason's living room waiting to be sorted through.

Jason's friend Dave and I loaded everything into my car and Dave's minivan. I told Dave he's my new hero because we fit everything in there. This is not a small feat. We moved my dresser, a 5 foot bookshelf, a 7 foot bookshelf, my desk and hutch, a large wicker chest that I keep blankets in, and at least 20 boxes, 2 of which were 3 feet square. In a minivan and an Elantra. Yeah, Dave is a moving rock star.

I'm just so glad it's done. Mostly. I just need to pack up the remnants and get things organized for the honeymoon (Yay!)

Hostage

Just as I am starting to chill out about this whole wedding thing and feel like things will work out, my dress is being held hostage. I dropped it off at the tailor a few weeks ago and he pinned the dress up and gave me a claim check and told me it should be ready by October 7th. Since that was a Sunday, I figured I would give him until Monday, which was a holiday, so I still wasn't too concerned by Tuesday. Then I started calling and getting no answer. Over the past few days I have left a couple of messages and called no less than 25 times. A couple of friends live upstairs from his shop and one of them ran downstairs last night and then told me that he wasn't at the shop.

Which means, as of right now, I have no wedding dress. This was just the first alteration. Heaven forbid, now, with a week left to go, that anything else should need to be done to the dress. I was also going to have him steam the wrinkles out of my veil, but I guess I need to have someone else do that. I may only be wearing the veil part of my wedding ensemble come Saturday the 20th.

Jason is irate. I called him tonight to tell him about it and he just kept getting madder and madder and talking about how we're going to sue if I don't get my dress.* I told him that I didn't know what I would do if I didn't get my dress, but, FYI, I would probably be in tears on our wedding day. He said it wouldn't get to that point. He wouldn't let it.** So I guess if we don't hear anything by Monday he's going to call the city or the police or the Attorney General or someone who will give him some sort of satisfaction.

The thing is, the friends who live upstairs recommended the tailor because they go to him all the time and he's great and they couldn't say enough good about him. When I went upstairs to borrow tape from one of them tonight so that I could tape a note to the tailor's door, she was really shocked and said she hadn't seen him or his van the night before, which was odd. So, I really hope that nothing bad has happened. However, I really, really need my dress. More importantly, I need my dress with the alterations completed.


*Although that's not really indicative of much since he generally wants to sue someone for most anything as a get rich quick scheme. Personally, I think this totally beats the emotional distress claim of the judge who sued the dry cleaners who lost his pants.

**So I know this is a really less than ideal situation, however Jason's fierceness about it is actually very endearing. He's all mad because I'm worried and he doesn't want me to be sad and he's going to take care of it, gosh darn it. My hero.

Dancing Poll

We're having dancing at the wedding and are working on the playlist. Sky's the limit since we're just pulling from our own libraries and putting it on an itunes playlist. My question for you is, what makes you shake your booty? I want fun songs that will make people want to dance, but don't fall into the YMCA/Chicken Dance categories.

The playlist is kind of 80's heavy right now, which is fine, but we want multi-generational appeal too. So please, I would love your suggestions.

******
Things are coming together nicely. Last night I met with the caterer and Deborah, our friend who is acting as the day-of coordinator, and I feel totally confident in both of their abilities. My caterer is doing two shindigs this weekend for 350+ people so basically she could do my piddly little 85-person wedding sleeping, with her hands tied behind her back, underwater.

I scored with Cambridge Parking and Transportation this morning. The guy in charge of permits is a total Boston guy who let me block off 10 meters near the church, which they usually don't do for weddings, and only charged me for 5 meters. He asked me to bring him a finger sandwich after. Or it was more like "aftah".

This weekend is the big move of my furniture and large boxes and everything else I won't need for the next couple of weeks. It's really not going to be too bad, I just actually have to take the time to throw my remaining things into boxes over the next couple of nights. For those of you in the market, I highly recommend a scientist boyfriend because they have access to awesome moving boxes. Right after we started dating, he gave me some boxes for my move labeled "Hazardous Waste" with big orange warning symbols on the sides. The majority of my boxes for this move have pictures of fruit flies all over them. Much more interesting than the liquor boxes I usually use, and I have less chance of being mistaken for an alcoholic.

Work In Progress

Disclaimer: Jason is the one who emailed this to me.

Ring A Ding Ding

I got my ring on Friday night! So maybe two weeks before the wedding is cutting it a little close, but Jason feels sufficiently guilty and I won't dwell on it. Basically it's been a whole panoply of procrastination and finding the right thing. The important thing is, I have it now.

I sort of figured it was happening Friday night when Jason A) asked if I could be down in Providence by 8 PM, and B) wouldn't tell me where we were going for dinner, and C) took me to a fancy-schmancy place for dinner. Our normal Friday night is me showing up in Providence whenever I get there and usually wandering over to Apsara Palace* with Matt from Jason's lab and sometimes Matt's girlfriend. So this was different.

So I got to Providence by 8 as requested, and we headed to a fancy place where I had lamb and chocolate strawberry trifle.** Then we headed down to the river to go for a walk, which I figured was where the magic would happen. We walked down toward the river and I saw the gondolas that they have out on Waterfire night were there. I said, "Oh look, they have gondolas out tonight too." Then Jason started talking to the gondolier and I realized that the gondola was there for us.

We went on a nice ride down the river, and the gondolier, Marcello, serenaded us. Jason had brought sparkling apple cranberry juice that we drank out of champagne flutes. At a certain point Jason officially popped the question and I said yes and got my pretty ring that I'm still getting used to wearing and not catching on things.

Afterwards, he was so pleased to know that he had managed to surprise me with the whole gondola ride. Very cute.

So now I suppose it's officially official with all the officialness. Good thing since I've been planning a wedding and all.


* I recommend the Summer Rolls, Hot & Sour Soup, Singapore Noodles and Bee Boong with Seafood AND Tofu. Jason recommends the Scallion Pancakes. Matt recommends the Sesame Tofu and Seafood Bean Curd Soup.

** My new favorite dessert, and I am very happy that my friend Aleigh got me the trifle dish off my registry and that my friend Elaine got the little footed dessert bowls that kind of look like mini trifle dishes so they're perfect for serving the trifle, as my mom pointed out to me. By the way, registering rocks.

Moving In

Last night I made a good dent in packing up my stuff for my move down to Providence. I have been trying to move down gradually, taking several boxes with me every time I go down, and loading Jason's car whenever he comes up to take back down with him. We're moving my furniture next Saturday and I'm hoping to just be left with a bed and some clothes to get me through the last week in my old apartment.

Jason's sister is taking over my part of the lease, which worked out very well. We were going to swap beds, because I think mine is slightly nicer, but as we really thought about it, the idea of swapping one queen size mattress and boxspring for another queen size mattress and boxspring seemed pretty ridiculous. Especially since moving the boxspring into Jason's apartment was a feat of engineering due to an annoying metal railing on his porch and a sharp right turn immediately inside the front door. Maybe eventually I'll reclaim my own bed, but for now it's all Marissa's.

As I was getting into the packing I started thinking about what I was doing and feeling excited about the prospect of moving in with Jason and living with him and starting our life together. It made me happy to think in just a few weeks we would see each other every day and not have to deal with the two-city thing anymore.

However, when he came over later last night and we started going over the schedule for the wedding day the familiar feelings of stress set in and I found myself getting snippy with him again.

So the bad news is, I'm really stressed about the wedding and all the various details actually working out. It has kind of become something to get through. The good news is, I really am excited to be marrying Jason. In the end, that's the important part of the equation.

Load Off My Mind

I just got permission from a friend of mine who works around the corner from the church to use a few spaces in their parking lot. Now I don't have to wrangle with the city of Cambridge for some spots on one of the busiest weekends of the Fall.