Marriage is Hard Sometimes

Well, I wound up taking back all the red stuff and getting the spa bathroom elements after all. Our friend Rachel came over for a little bit Friday night and I asked for her opinion on the shower curtain and the red.

Her first thought was sometimes red, white and black can seem a little harsh and the tan might help to soothe the palette a bit. We hung up the shower curtain and my (and Rachel's) initial impression was that it really closed off the bathroom and made it look super small all of a sudden. And it's not a small bathroom.

So I decided to go with the spa plan, take the towels back to Kohl's and get a white shower curtain. My plan was to do this Saturday morning and just kind of do it without making a big deal about it. However, Jason wanted to come along because he also thought we could go to Lowe's and look at backyard and other house necessities*.

Then he discovered that I was returning the red towels. I really want to be fair in all of this (because I am very concerned about "fair". Some would say this is a Libra thing, but I credit my INFJ nature more). But I also want our house to look nice. Because it's a beautiful house. Thus, I don't really want the Homer Simpson action figure in the dining room. Or the dorm room octopus lamp with the monkeys hanging from it in the family room. Since the office is basically Jason's domain, I figure it's a fantastic place for his toys to go.

But he still looks completely wounded and becomes completely disengaged from the process when I say "no" to anything like that. And I felt like that's what happened Saturday morning at Kohl's when I said I was returning the towels. At least that was my perception, whether or not it was his actual intent. Which he told me later it wasn't. I think it shocks him sometimes when I take things so much to heart.

I explained that I tried the red and I didn't like it so I thought I would go with the more soothing palette. I love red, actually (we have red sheets for Fall and I have several red dish towels and red potholders). But I also like the medium teal I wound up buying. Jason said "Whatever..." and I felt like I had stabbed him right in his red-loving heart.

So I bought the medium teal towels, and a white seersucker shower curtain, but already my headache was starting. Then we went to Wal-Mart (which is always kind of a horrifying experience anyway) and I got some stuff for the Young Women for camp prep. Jason told me he could have gotten all of that much cheaper online if I had just let him know earlier.

Basically, I just felt really stressed out and I wound up with a migraine. Jason felt really bad about stressing me out. This is partly my problem, I know. I want to be fair. I also don't want to disappoint anyone, particularly Jason.

Anyway, Jason assured me he really didn't care about the bathroom, he was just expressing a preference. I guess I take his preferences too much to heart because I want things to be fair. "Fair" is a key word in my life.

Note to self: need to relax and be ok with the fact that sometimes Jason and I will have different opinions. Sometimes or often, as the case may be. Totally not worth a migraine.


*Like hinges. For some reason there are 2 cabinets, 1 shutter and 1 door that have broken hinges. The last tenants must have liked swinging on the doors or something.