News

Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth, but this has been an eventful couple of weeks. Basically, my news is, I got a job! (qualified with the words "part-time" and
"temporary" - for now). On the recommendation of another health care attorney I sent
my resume to a small firm who just happened to be thinking about hiring an associate to coincide with their merger with another small firm and an increased emphasis on health care law. I met with the health care partner 2 weeks ago, met with him and the two other health care partners 1 week ago, got an offer the next day and am starting tomorrow.

Can you say whirlwind?

Since I am an untested brand new associate and their needs are not huge right now, I will be working there 3-4 days a week for about 3 months. After that time we'll all assess where we are and the hope is that I will transition to a permanent position. I think they really liked me in the interviews, they just want to make sure they can work with me and that I'm a quick study.

In the meantime, I will also keep working 1-2 days a week at a health care company, which I've been doing since December. All of the attorneys involved have been so nice and accommodating. The situation is obviously not my ideal dream job, but it's a great stepping stone and will finally give me some experience as a real-life lawyer.

The best part? Announcing to the temp agency that Thursday was my last day doing document review. That's right. After a little more than a year of that soul sucking work, I was able to quit.

I sent out an email to the 20 or so other contract attorneys telling them all I was leaving and as soon as it popped up in everyone's Outlook, they all started clapping for me. So nice! Everyone came by my desk to ask about the job and wish me well. Sometimes being a contract attorney breeds discontentment and spitefulness, but other times you build up a camaraderie with the group and everyone just wants the best for everyone else. "The best" obviously meaning leaving contract work far behind.

So tomorrow's the first day and I'm excited. I ran around and did some errands today, followed by a luxurious massage to work out the last of the document review kinks. Wish me luck!

On Being A Woman

This commentary rings true.

It also makes me feel tired.

How do we find that balance? That balance that doesn't really exist?

I feel the tugs professionally and personally. I am a self-admitted "girlie girl" who likes to dress up sometimes and wear make-up and nail polish and who can be shy and reticent to push her way into a situation. I don't think all of that is socialization. Part of it is just my personality and my personal preference. I am in a profession that wants me to be hardened and tough and push my way into a career. I have a boyfriend who doesn't like feminine trappings.

Maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

The Mormons

I'm just gonna put it out there. I'm not really sure how I feel about my church popping up as a banner ad in my Hotmail account. Just now at the top of the page: an ad for Mormon.org. Does that strike anyone else as odd?

Suenos*

I usually don't dig blogs about dreams, but last night there was this weird convergence of my two biggest recurring anxiety-ridden dreams and I'm still thinking about it.

I have two dreams that recur regularly. Dream A involves me realizing I have a final today or tomorrow for a class that I went to on the first day and then never went to again because I forgot about it and I forgot to drop it so now I was going to have a big fat F on my transcript and not graduate in time and look like an idiot. Stress!

Dream B involves me realizing I'm leaving on a big fun trip in, like, an hour, but I am not packed and on my way to the airport, even though I'm one of those people who likes to start packing weeks before the actual trip and generally arrives at the airport 2 hours early.**

I have had both of these dreams MULTIPLE times and I never feel very well rested after a night of stress and panic. And yes, I realize dreams last only a few seconds, but they feel much longer.

So last night I had what felt like HOURS of anxiety as these two dreams converged. Not only was I racing around trying to get ready for a trip with a friend and saying, "Oh my gosh, Cat is going to KILL me!!" as it got later and later and it looked more and more like we were going to miss the flight, but then I realized that I needed to study for my Sociology final for the class I hadn't been to all semester so I threw the book into my luggage and then realized the final was on Monday and I would be on some trip with Cat.

A night of stress! I think I must be really frazzled on the inside to have both of my stress dreams at once.

And then it got weird and the dream went into Spanish. Instead of packing, I was making a tortilla and a Mexican lady came over and asked me how I knew how to make them and I said I grew up in Tucson (because, you know, we ALL make tortillas all day long in Tucson) and she said I was doing a very good job and this entire conversation was in Spanish. Sometimes this happens and I am shocked at how much Spanish my subconscious remembers. Now how do I move that knowledge into my conscious, everyday brain?


*Imagine there's a little squiggly thing over the "n".

* Except for when I had to leave Boston on a 6 AM flight back to DC when Jason and I were doing the long distance thing. We both agreed that 45 minutes was about all I needed to get checked in, get through security and make the flight.

Tip

How to get through your midday slump:

Listen to some completely-inappropriate-for-work music on your ipod. Today I'm going with some of Fatboy Slim's more rockin' selections.

Awesomeness

Right now I'm sitting in Jason's living room and there's a music festival happening across the street so all we had to do on this BEAUTIFUL May Saturday is open up his windows and enjoy.

So we're both being productive and getting much needed work done while listening to great local music.



Nice.

I always forget how much I like live music. You could pretty much play any old thing and if it's live, I'm going to move my body to the beat and get into it and swear to you later that they were the best band EVER. At this moment, The Biltmores rock.

Down

I got some disappointing job prospect news a couple of days ago and it's really impacting me today. I didn't fully realize how much hope I had hinging on it, how the idea of it was helping me to hold my head up high and feel like there was some sort of career future for me.

This morning I overslept and had a hard time dragging myself out of bed when I finally did wake up. (Cloudy weather again is not helping, Boston).

Yesterday I had a good conversation with someone about how it's not the end of the world. I just need to dust myself off and get right back on that horse. There's always tomorrow. And other such words.

Today, though, I just feel tired and beaten. Two years out of law school, I know realistically that the chances of my getting a good, real job at this point are pretty slim. I wonder why I went to law school? I keep thinking back to the decision-making process that landed me there. It seemed like a good idea. I remember visiting Boston and vividly feeling that coming here for law school was the right thing for me to do and a good step for me to take. Now, two years after graduation, with no prospects and a staggering amount of school debt for this degree that right now feels pretty useless, I regret the decision every single day.

I'm sure in a couple of days I'll be able to get on the ball with sending out more resumes (which is kind of hard when there's just nothing to apply for), but for today I'm down.

Feeling Detached

I seem to have a hard time keeping in touch with friends. Because of my life thus far I have women who I consider very good friends spread all over the country. The problem is, I never seem to talk to them anymore. If one of them calls me, they get my voice mail because I'm either A) not near my phone or B) near my phone, but busy and can't chat then. If I call one of them, I usually get their voice mail too.

We're all busy, I guess, but sometimes I feel like I don't put enough effort into keeping in touch. Is it okay to have friends who you talk to every 6 months or less, but who you know are still your good friends and the people you would call in an emotional crisis?

Adding to that, I feel alternately part of and not part of the social scene here in Boston. It's difficult when I seem to spend every other weekend with Jason in Providence. And I'm usually trying to get in some hours of work on Saturday too. I feel like I don't get invited to a ton of stuff, but then I'm not really making myself available, am I?

I guess my point is, I love Jason, but I miss being part of The Scene. I also have guilt about not being available enough to my friends in other cities and not calling more often to check in on them. Time just gets away from me. I've been back in Boston for about 7 months. I feel like I just moved back and here I am already wondering where I'm going to be living in 4 months.

Sickie

I am sick. I finally got that cold that everyone else has had.

I am not a good patient. I spend the whole time feeling annoyed because this is really cutting into my schedule. For instance, I was supposed to go swimming both Monday and Tuesday nights, but instead I lay uselessly on the couch, blowing my nose and occasionally opening my mouth really wide to try and pop my right ear. Currently I am working on willing the cold out of my body with the power of positive thinking. That, and controlled substances.


That's right. I signed the big controlled substances binder at the drugstore today. Why would I buy Sudafed without the sweet, sweet pseudoephedrine?


When Jason came over after his class last night, my roommates apparently directed him to the "quarantine area", aka the living room. Ha ha.

The good news is, I can work from home so that's what I've done the last couple of days. The bad news is, we have a meeting this afternoon so I had to come in. I spent my commute swaying partly from the motion of the train, and partly from my own little lack of equilibrium fun time going on in my head.

Anyway, I'm annoyed because I was on an exercise and weight loss roll and I've been sidelined. I'm also annoyed because my head is stuffy. Bleh.

On the Weather

Dear Boston,

I am officially over the wind.

Sincerely,
Kelly

Why I Heart the City

This afternoon as I was walking back to work through Boston Common, a guy on a bike sped by me. As he passed I realized that despite the rain and the wind and the ickiness that has been Boston weather for the past few weeks, he was singing "Tuesday Afternoon" by the Moody Blues with complete abandon.

Tuuuuuesday Aaaaaafternoon
I'm just beginning to see
Now I'm on my way

Awesome.

Today Is the Longest Day EVER

I'm bored. Ooo, I know! I'll blog.

Um...

So the program we use at work was down for a couple of days and I basically spent a day and a half surfing the internet. I am pretty much the champion of entertaining myself online, but even that was a bit much for me.

Now the system is working, but then I remembered, oh yeah, the work is boring too.

I think I'm just having a discontented day. My work buddy is on vacation, and I haven't said more than a few words to anyone all day. I'm not being anti-social, it's just the nature of the place. I'm in my own little internet and headphones world like everyone else.

Speaking of which, I'm tired of ALL of my music. Yeah, blah blah, My Sharona, Hips Don't Lie, Don't You Want Me Baby, SexyBack, Here It Goes Again, Fresh Feeling, whatever! I am tired of you all!

Plus, I'm sore. The second day after weights is always the worst and I did weights Wednesday night. Then I swam 100 laps last night. So now I'm just kind of achey in most of my body and I really wish I could have stayed in my comfy bed this morning and every time I stand up my legs argue with me.

And it's only 2 PM.

Grumble grumble.

Florida!

Ah, Florida. Beautiful sunny days and warm weather. How I miss you...

We got into town on Saturday and went right out for sushi with my Aunt Luanne, Uncle Phil, cousin Greg and Rosie, Greg's wife.


Sunday, we headed to the beach, but the waves were huge and the purple jellyfish flag was out. Boo, jellyfish! So we went for a drive along A1A in our sassy blue rental car.

Pretty Intracoastal view:


Sassy blue rental car:


Monday, we headed down Miami way to the Monkey Jungle. Jason had been there before and loved it. I have to concede to Jason on this one: monkeys are pretty great.

Java macaque:



The Monkey Jungle guide for the orangutan and gorilla was a little nutty. I think Jason and I were the only ones laughing. I don't know if the other people just weren't paying attention, but she was hilarious. Two of her gems included explaining how the female orangutan had put on some weight since her male companion had died because he used to hit her and keep her away from the food. The guide said: "Unfortunately like some humans, Miss May's man beat her up."

Then she told how a male orangutan mates with the female and hangs around until she gets pregnant. Then he takes off until the baby is born and weaned. The guide said, "Only two types of males do this sort of behavior: orangutans and humans."

I think she had some issues.

Here is a video of the orangutan doing her little 3-minute thing for some goodies:



Watch the gibbons swing. They're awesome.


Here is my good friend, Jordan the howler monkey.


The first time we went into the rainforest habitat, Jordan followed Jason and I around. He walked on the fencing above us and lay down whenever we stopped walking and silently watched us. However, when we came back later and the guide started giving her little talk in the microphone, Jordan let loose with his howling. It's unreal.


Apparently they can be heard several miles away when they really get going.

Afterwards we drove toward the Everglades looking for an airboat ride. Unfortunately we got there too late and didn't get a boat ride, BUT we found an awesome BBQ joint.


With a pig on top.


Tuesday, we made one more effort at the beach. The red flags (meaning Super Caution, or something to that effect) AND the purple jellyfish flag were out. I was kind of bummed since my favorite thing to do at the beach is to snorkle and basically swim as far out as I can. Because I'm a daredevil like that. But when the waves look like this

there's usually a wicked undertow accompanying them.

Despite the waves and the jellyfish warning, people were out there swimming so Jason and I took a chance and actually had a great time jumping waves. My suit was full of sand that night, which always signifies a good time in my world.

Jason's sunscreen method:


It wasn't effective. Of course, who am I to talk. My sunscreen was old and I got fried too.

Me and my little babushka


Wednesday, we drove to St. Augustine to stay with my grandma and Dave, her husband. A long drive followed by a buffet with crab legs. Yay! Crab legs!

Thursday, we went down to the old town area and did the tourist thing. St. Augustine was founded by the Spanish in 1565 and is the oldest town in the U.S. See, this blog is all about education.

Gates of Old St. Augustine


The fort


The old buildings are made of a material called coquina. The Spanish couldn't find any rocks to build the fort with, but they did discover fossilized shells under the sand in the island across the inlet. Coquina:


View from the fort:


My aunt and uncle's Presbyterian church:

The church was built by Henry Flagler, the local 19th-century robber baron, as was much of the old part of St. Augustine. At least the stuff not built in the 16th century by the Spanish.

Pretty Spanish moss


That night we went with my grandma, Dave, my great-Aunt Daisy and great-Uncle Ted for some good ole fried seafood.*

Remember when I mentioned my awesome genes? The two other women in this picture are 70 and 74, although don't tell them I told you that. I think they look pretty darn good.

Friday we headed back down to Boca Raton so we could catch our 6:30 AM flight out of Ft. Lauderdale on Saturday morning. I have a hard time sleeping on planes, so while everyone else was snoozing, I took this picture out my window:

Following our 5 hour layover in Newark (it was only supposed to be 3 hours) during which we realized we could have rented a car and driven back to Providence in less time, we finally made it back to New England.

This about sums up how I (and Tiny apparently) felt after the whirlwind trip:


Have you ever noticed how you really do need a vacation after your vacation?





*This trip I fully realized how much my family outings have always centered around food. I didn't even mention the Friday night free-for-all at Maggiano's thanks to some gift certificates my aunt had received. Probably something to mention to my shrink. Well, whatever, it all tasted good.

Easter Dinner

So I made my cranberry glazed ham. And it was, you know, fine. But no one at the dinner besides Jason and my roommate Chrissy knew the whole story.

I found a recipe last week on the Food Network website and was doing a little happy dance because it sounded kind of complicated and really yummy and if there's one thing I like when I'm making something for a bunch of people it's a bit of a challenge with tasty results. There was simmering in juices and studding with cloves and prepping the glaze and all sorts of things to do.

Basically the recipe went like this: Boil ham in water for 30 minutes to get rid of excess salt. That sounds like a good step because upon doing a little invstigation I've determined that your average ounce of ham has something like 1500 mg of sodium. I've become a little sodium conscious lately and am trying to stay below 2300 mg a day.*

Then you simmer the ham in 128 ounces of apple and cranberry juices with two halved onions and some allspice. Yum, right?

Then you mix up the cranberry/honey/cinnamon glaze, stud your ham with whole cloves and pour the glaze over the ham. Follow this with baking the ham for 15 minutes and voila!

Saturday I decided to get the simmering out of the way, which the recipe allowed. I simmered for the recommended 3 hours, then let the ham cool in the pot of juices like the recipe said while I went to an Easter Vigil service that Jason was singing at. Before I left, I looked into the pot and wondered if it didn't look like the ham had fallen off the bone in a not-to-conducive-to-glazing-and-baking way. But no time now! Off to church.

When I got back, I drained the ham and then reached in to pull it out and place it in the baking dish. Only, when I pulled up, I felt pieces of ham falling down around my hands and realized there was no way the ham was coming up in one piece. I called Jason into the kitchen to help me. He pulled out most of the ham and put it in the dish, followed by a couple of handfuls of ham bits left at the bottom of the pot.

I stood there, my mouth agape, staring at the baking dish full of something that looked sort of like chipped beef. Not only had the ham pulled away from the bone, but it had completely dehydrated during the simmering process and gone from full succulent slices to little dry bits. This was NOT what the recipe said would happen. I think I cried out something to the effect of, "Oh no! It's ruined!"

Jason said he didn't see what the problem was and finally left the room in exasperation as I kept saying things like, "Are you crazy?! Of course it's ruined! There's no way I can glaze a pile of ham bits! You're wrong! Stop talking!"

Or something like that.

I called a couple of grocery stores and discovered that they were going to be open on Easter, so first thing Sunday morning I headed out. Four stores later, I found one single solitary ham. I know I paid too much for it, but it was seriously the Last Ham in Cambridge.

I came home and shoved it in the oven to bake according to the directions on the ham package. On the way to the friend's house who was hosting, I got in a couple of layers of clove studs. I glazed and baked once we got there.

And it was yummy. However, I have a bone to pick with the Food Network.


*Plus I found out yesterday that my blood pressure is a bit on the high side. What?! I'm kind of shocked since I used to have low blood pressure. Sigh. I'm telling you, I turn 30 and my body completely falls apart.

I Am Very Lame With the Blogging

So here's the sitch. I have vacation pictures and a travelogue to narrate, but I'm busy. I made the dumb mistake of telling the partner at the firm that I would have a draft of my awful memo to her by the end of the week. When I'm at home lately the last thing I want to do is get on the computer so I haven't posted. But I will. I promise.

I'm making cranberry-glazed ham for Easter. Doesn't that sound decadent?

Maintaining My Girlish Looks

Kid By the Side of the Pool (as I was getting out): How many laps did you do?

Me: Um, 80.

Kid: Wow...Are you on a swim team?

Me: I used to be. Not now.

Kid: Why not?

Me: Oh, well, I'd like to build up my endurance more, maybe join a team eventually.

Kid: Are you fast?

Me: I'm okay. I used to be fast.

Kid: Yeah, I used to be on a team. Now I'm just here watching my girlfriend swim.

Me: Huh.

Kid: So what grade are you in?

Me:...

...

... Uh, actually, I'm out of college.

Kid: Oh, yeah?

Me: Yeah.

I can imagine the look on his face if I had told him I'm 30. This must be how my aunt felt when she was carded on her 40th birthday.

My anti-aging tips: lots of moisturizer and awesome genes.

Monkeys Monkeys Everywhere!

In Florida. Yesterday, Jason and I went to the Monkey Jungle. FYI, squirrel monkeys are crazy.



More later.

Unmotivated and It Feels So Good

Jason and I are going on vacation on Saturday and I cannot focus today. Tomorrow I'm going to be doing real work and will be more on the ball. Today I'm sort of taking notes and searching documents for my memo, but I'm also reading emails and message boards and making tentative plans in my head and imagining myself laying on the beach, which is MUCH more fun.

I was hoping to have the memo done before I left, but that's really not going to happen. I finished what I thought was going to be the main portion, but as I've started researching the other aspects of the case, I've realized that the rest of it is probably going to be just as substantial. There's no deadline, but to show the attorneys that I haven't been completely wasting my days away, I'm going to send them my 18-page draft with an email explaining what all I still plan to do.

Have I told you about this memo? Most of the other people doing memos have very discreet topics, but my topic covers the entire accounting policy department in the company. Which is basically everything the case is about. We have several research documents we've been using for reference, and I kind of just want my memo to say See _________ Reports. The end.

But, no, they actually want me to write. I have a feeling it will probably wind up being at least 40 pages, whereas everyone else's have ranged from 12-23 pages.

So anyway, back to the beach.

We're heading South to stay with some of my family for a week and wile away our days on the beach and do touristy stuff in the sun. I'm so excited and not feeling the whole work thing today.

Plus, has anyone else noticed how interminable March can be? I'm ok with February - it's supposed to still be cold. But March does this taunting thing where it's 65 one day and three days later there's a nor'easter and a foot of snow on the ground. How is that fair? I have been consistently underdressed for the past few days, stubbornly willing the temperature to be higher and the wind to blow less.

On the plus side, I'm treating myself to a manicure and pedicure this afternoon so I can wear my sandals proudly.

And on the doubleplus side, I lost 4.1 inches this week. How is that even possible?

My Arm...

...is working again. Hurrah!

I swam 80 laps last night doped up on a couple of Advil.* While my elbow was doing a little bit of a popping thing (which it's done before. Probably a precursor to its recent shenanigans), there was no pain.

I bought this nifty ice pack yesterday that just fits the contours of my elbow region and straps on with velcro. After my swim and shower, my arm was a little stiff so I iced it. I feel like an athlete with my sports injury. Hardcore. That's me.

Taking a break from the pool tonight, but I'l be back tomorrow. Awwww, yeah.


*Based on my personal prior consumption of Advil, I'm going to wager that if there was any major pain, 400 mg of Advil would not have cut it that much.

Happy Spring!

And the cardinal in the tree on the corner who was singing to me as I walked to work says, "Happy Spring!" too.