Pictures

We got some photos from the wedding photographer. Just a sneak preview until he finishes getting all of them done. I can't wait to see!*

* If you are in the Boston/Worcester areas (or probably most of New England) and need a photographer, I can highly recommend ours. He is an amateur so he was cheaper than most others, which was a big bonus for us. Amateur or not, I think he does lovely work.

Home

Well, we did it. We got the place cleaned up in time for the Open House - which wasn't really much of a rager, but was excellent motivation for getting the work done. To be honest, we just got the kitchen, bathroom, dining room and living room done, but those were formidable. In the guest room/office we both have stuff piled on our respective desks that we need to go through, and our bedroom now holds a huge pile of wedding gifts, which we also need to go through. My car is stuffed full of things going to Salvation Army. But the common areas are done and they look so, so nice.

Last night we built a fire and lit everything by candlelight. Today is Jason's birthday and we're just hanging out with his friend Matt, with another fire in the fireplace, and the candles lit. Not only is candlelight very flattering, but the candles really do make the place warmer. Jason and I are both candle junkies and will probably have a candlelit home on most winter evenings.*

I know we still have some work to do, but it is insignificant compared to the amount of labor we've already put into the place. I finally feel comfortable in the apartment and am thrilled to not be living in a giant obstacle course anymore. Maybe it's the candles and the fire, but the whole place feels really cozy now. I sort of wish my office took Veteran's Day off so I could stay home tomorrow and just revel in the coziness.

It's such a relief to almost be done. Now we can concentrate on the things we were putting off. Like getting a new bed. Jason's has sort of been falling apart for awhile now, and I'm not crazy about the style anyway, so we're going to get a new one. Plus, move the bed so I can get a nightstand on my side. Plus get rid of the big table in the kitchen in exchange for a kitchen cart and a dishwasher on wheels.** Fun times.


*After completely filling 3 of the 8 shelves on the Expedit with candles yesterday afternoon, I declared a moratorium on candle buying in our house. Only I just remembered that a friend gave me a Pier One gift card at my bridal shower and, seriously, they have awesome candles. So I may have to break my own rule.

** Our apartment is awesome, but we don't have a dishwasher, which is a major issue for someone like me who likes to cook. Supposedly the portable ones work pretty well so we're planning on trying one out.

Seriously?

When we first started planning the wedding, I signed up at The Knot, which was useful for finding some hairstyles I liked, and helping me to keep my perspective by reading through the craziness people go through for a wedding. They had a checklist of things to do with assigned deadlines based on our wedding date. Since I started planning 4 1/2 months before the wedding, I was already WAY behind based on their calendar. But since we kept things relatively simple, I really only needed to worry about half of the stuff on their list.

About a day after the wedding, I got an email from The Knot announcing that they had automatically switched us to their sister site The Nest. Which, based on the sponsor emails I've been getting ever since, is basically all about having babies and planning for babies and all of the adorable yuppie accoutrement you can get for your babies. Eeek! Hi, can we have a chance to catch our breath after the wedding, please?

Day Two

The Cottage; Waterbreak; Camden

We woke up at the Hampton Inn, ate another carb-ariffic complimentary breakfast, and then headed over to the cottage to talk with the owners. They were so, SO mortified over the whole fly issue, and told us they had already cleaned the place that morning. We could either leave and they would give us our deposit back, or we could stay and they would knock another $100 off the price. We told them we would like to stay, but we thought maybe we should wait until dark, when the fly invasion really started the previous night, before we decided.

The owners understood completely. They suggested 5 or 6 things we could do in the area to keep ourselves entertained and we headed off for an adventure.

One of their suggestions was a waterbreak jutting out into the ocean with a little lighthouse at the end. According to the signs, it was a little less than a mile to the end of the waterbreak, which was made of giant blocks of granite, carved out of local mountainsides and plunged into the ocean to protect the shore from the water. Also, apparently, it's a very dangerous waterbreak. We were told to be careful, people have fallen and hurt themselves, possibly fatally, on the waterbreak. We were also told to not go out on the waterbreak during a storm because of lightning. And you know they had to say all of that on the sign because it's actually happened.

Jason took about 500 pictures on the way out to the lighthouse and on the way back. The day was clear and sunny and a little cooler. We saw a seal, some sailboats and a ferry boat shuttling 4 large dumptrucks out to one of the islands.

Then we headed further down US 1* to Camden, one of those quintessential New England towns. We spent some time just sitting in a lovely park overlooking the harbor, then walked down the main street. I am very grateful to Jason's mother, who taught him to indulge a woman who likes to poke into the little shoppes** and ooh and aah over precious house- and kitchenwares. Although, he did pretty well on that trip I must say, since I bought him Maine Blueberry Spread at Stonewall Kitchen*** and two monkey figures at a cool outlet store. And yes, I realize the irony of that when I've been spending the last several weeks complaining about all of the crap he has. But the monkeys were really cute and he loved them so. Even while he told me he didn't need them, I could see the longing in his eyes.

That evening we ate seafood at a restaurant overlooking the harbor that initially looked kind of sketchy, but wound up being really, really good. The 1970's easy listening strains of Air Supply playing over the sound system were just a bonus to the outstanding food really. I think there were several locals in there, which always speaks well of a place.

We headed back to the cottage, wary of what we would find. I figured we would turn on some lights and then wait a half hour to an hour. If the flies returned, back to the Hampton Inn we would go. But they didn't. That day, the weather turned and it started actually kind of feeling like Maine in October. The cold apparently chased the flies back into their normal winter hibernation patterns, or whatever it is flies do when it gets cold. After a quick call to let the owners know we were staying, we turned on the little gas stove in the corner of the living room and settled in for the evening.


* I have this fantasy about driving north on US 1 to the very end. Jason thinks I am crazy because there's nothing for the last few hundred miles of US 1 except Maine wilderness. But I've been to the Southern end of US 1 in Key West. Since I live so close (relatively speaking), I would like to get to the Northern end too.

** Pronounced "shoppeys".

***As well as Maple Pumpkin Butter and Blue Cheese Mustard for myself. If you have one of these stores near you, I recommend going simply because they had about 20 different spreads and dips that you could sample in the store.

Day One

Since we're spending all of our time cleaning the apartment, we haven't had a chance to go through and cull the 1100 pictures that we took on our honeymoon. I don't want to forget the little details, and some people have been asking how it was, so I'll give you the details and then supply pictures after our Open House.


Wedding Night

Oh, please. I'm not going THERE, I just forgot some end-of-the-wedding details before. Mainly that all of our dear friends decorated my car. Yeah, thanks, dear friends. First, the doors were all tied shut with gift ribbon. I think there's still some hanging from the passenger door. Then they filled the entire car with balloons. And I do mean the ENTIRE car. We had to pop a whole bunch before we could even drive away. We pulled over a few miles down the road and popped the rest of them because there was no way Jason could drive for an hour to the hotel with the balloons bobbing all over the car.


Day 1: Driving; Arriving in Maine; The Flies

After chowing down on our free Best Western breakfast, in which Jason truly amazed me with the amount of carbs that one stomach can hold, we set off for Maine and our little cottage on the shore in Cushing. On the way we listened to the CD of our ceremony and I once again felt so grateful for all of our friends who participated and created the beautiful music.

Since the leaves changed late this year that meant we didn't have a lot of Autumn color for our wedding, BUT the drive up to Maine was absolutely beautiful. So, you know, I'm sorry wedding guests, but I wouldn't give up the views we got during our honeymoon drives and hikes for anything.

When we arrived at the cottage, we were floored by the amazing view. The cottage looked out on a little cove of the Atlantic. Across the water we could see another shore, full of sweet houses and beautiful Autumn colors. A porch swing hung from a huge tree looking out over the water. Then we went inside and were charmed by the cute little cottage and the obvious care put into making it a perfect little retreat.

Then I noticed the bugs. There were two large windows on each end of the house and at the top of the windows I noticed a bunch of ladybugs and flies. Huh. I determined that we really needed to do something about that. We planned to go to the store anyway to get some groceries for the week, so while we were out we picked up some bug spray too. I figured it's a country cottage, it may have some bugs, but I don't really want to sleep with them.

We got back to the house and I set to work spraying the edges of the windows where I thought they were coming in, and any of the individual bugs who happened to light on a wall or a table. Fly bodies started littering the floor and the futon, but there still seemed to be so many of them. I started getting paranoid, listening for the telltale buzzing, and swore to Jason that I could hear them above us, in the ceiling, massing.

Jason grabbed a magazine and started swatting. I had to make a phone call so I ducked out to the car for 20 minutes. I could hear periodic *thwacks* as Jason wielded his magazine. When I came back inside, Jason, looking harried, asked me, "There are more, right? I'm not imagining that, right?" I looked at the light in the ceiling and gasped. When I left there were maybe 5 or 6 flies, and now there were at least 40 swarming around the light.

"We can't stay here!" I exclaimed, and teared up. My carefully laid plans, thwarted. I really wanted to stay in that sweet little cottage.

The owners lived next door, but they weren't home. I called and left a message on their machine, explaining about the flies. We went out to dinner, leaving a light on so the flies would still be swarming when the owners got home and they wouldn't think we were insane.

In rural Maine at a certain hour, you're kind of limited with your meal choices, and we wound up at Applebee's. While we were there, the owners called us and they were so apologetic and so appalled. They figured that the warm weather (it had been 80 that day, October 21st) had disrupted the flies' schedule and they all thought it was Spring. But the owners said that they had never seen so many flies. They kindly gave us $100 toward a hotel room that night.

After dinner we went to the Hampton Inn next door, which wound up being ni-ice. Okay, maybe not if you're used to the Plaza or something, but they had a big flat screen TV wherein we could watch the Red Sox in the playoffs, amazing smelling toiletries with names like "Purity", a fancy marble-topped cherry wood bathroom vanity, and a plush bed with high threadcount sheets. The Hampton Inn is our new favorite hotel.

Coming up: Day Two, Back To the Cottage.


PS Don't worry, we did actually get to stay at the cottage.

Coming Along

"I'm really liking the new classy look of the place. There's so much space in the dining room and it looks niiice."

Says the new husband to his little wife as he excitedly dashes around pointing out the bits he particularly likes of their apartment as it gradually comes together, helped along by the wife's furniture arranging eye, the mass filtering out of useless crap and new slipcovers on the sofa and loveseat.

Sometimes it's best to just smile and say, "I know, isn't it great?" rather than, "I told you so."

The Merger

Jason and I have started the gargantuan task of bringing our belongings together to form one home. Those of you who have ever seen Jason's apartment or participated in the agony that is moving Jason to a new place, will know what a triumph this will be. I have a fair amount of stuff myself, which is currently all piled in the middle of the living room, but Jason has managed to fill a 2-bedroom apartment with a dining room and a huge living room all by himself. And when I say "fill" I mean it. Every surface is covered, every inch of the perimeter has something in it.

The state of the apartment has caused several sets of tears and freakouts on my part. This past summer was supposed to be the summer of organization and cleaning. Well, we cleaned the dining room nicely one weekend and created a pile of stuff to be sold. Then things from other parts of the apartment started gradually migrating into the dining room and it looks like we never cleaned. I cleaned and organized some of the kitchen cupboards, but didn't do nearly as much as I wanted. Jason did actually get rid of a couple of computer harddrives (a miracle I thought I would never live to see), and spent a lot of evenings organizing and cleaning and listing things on Craig's List and ebay. But I don't think you understand the amount of things that Jason has. Although it was obvious he had cleaned, and I lavished effusive praise on him, there is still SO MUCH STUFF.

I am by no means a neat freak, I just want things to be relatively neat and sanitary. I also can't handle every square inch of space being filled with something simply because there is space to fill. No, really, blank floor and wall space is allowed. I promise.

The good news is, we have a deadline. On the 10th we're having an Open House to celebrate our marriage with those who we weren't able to invite to the wedding (and any of the people who were there who want to show up), as well as a birthday party for Jason whose birthday is the next day.*

On Sunday, I had a mini freakout as I looked around wondering how in the world we were going to get it done by the 10th. Jason calmed me down and said that a positive attitude on my part would really help a lot. True. Then in a cute moment, which Jason may or may not remember, on Monday morning when I left for work, he gave me a kiss and in a half-asleep voice mumbled, "I'm sorry it's so messy, Baby. Don't worry, I'll clean it up. I promise...I'll clean it..."

Last night we joined efforts and got it done. Or at least some of it. I unpacked clothes into my closet and we moved my dresser to its proper place and mostly cleared the bedroom floor. I woke up this morning so happy to not be tripping over random piles of clothes and suitcases as I tried not to wake Jason up while I got ready for work.

One room down (mostly), four rooms to go.


* For anyone keeping track, I was born on 10/10, he was born on 11/11. I was supposed to be born on 11/11. Spooky, yes?

Tradition

Something old: my very first lost baby tooth sewn into a handmade eyelet bag by my mom and then tied into the bustle under my dress.

Something new: dress, veil, etc.

Something borrowed: pearl earrings from my grandma.

Something blue: this was a tough one. At the last minute one of my bridesmaids drew a tiny heart on my pinky with a blue pen.

And apparently there's another part to that saying that includes a sixpence in your shoe. My dad found me a sixpence at a local antique shop. The proprietor asked if it was for a wedding and when my dad said it was, the man gave it to him for free. So throughout the ceremony and for part of the pictures, I had a sixpence in my shoe.

Going To the Chapel

It’s been almost a week and a half since the wedding and I don’t know about everyone else, but I had a great time. There were a few things that went wrong, but no one knew about them except for me and Jason. We rehashed everything on our honeymoon and came to the conclusion that if the caterer had just paid attention to the directions I gave her, those few things would not have happened. Basically, I met with her a little more than a week before the wedding and walked through how the day would go. I sent her numerous emails with very specific instructions and even saw her the day before the wedding and went over a few last details. Although we finished with the photos a little early after the ceremony, which apparently put her all in a tizzy, that still doesn’t change the fact that she took it upon herself to rearrange the tables, not put the guest book table where I told her to, not put the favors by each plate, not let people into the reception room immediately following the ceremony, not put the pies out on the pie table, not light the candles in the centerpieces, etc. She also changed the menu and didn’t include cranberry chutney with the pork. This is despite us discussing it at the tasting as an option and me emailing her with our menu choices, specifically saying we wanted the cranberry chutney and not the usual apple maple sauce, as well as mentioning it numerous times in our emails. She insisted to me during the reception that I was wrong and we never discussed a cranberry option.

My MOH said, “I don’t care how right you think you are, you do not tell a bride on her wedding day that she is wrong about anything.”

It’s too bad, because up until the actual wedding day, I was prepared to write a glowing referral for the caterer to put on her website. However, appearing to pay attention to the details and actually listening and following through are two different things, and you will not get credit for the former without the latter.

The only other thing that went wrong was that the corsages somehow never made it over to the church. I don’t know what happened, but there was some sort of mix up. Jason’s mom, my grandma and Jason’s grandma didn’t get their corsages, which was too bad, and if any of them are reading, I apologize profusely.*

So those are the not so smooth bits, which honestly barely made a blip on my radar on the actual day, and really only make me mildly irritated now.

Now the good stuff. First, the weather was AMAZING! It rained like crazy the night before, was a little cloudy in the morning and then cleared to a beautiful sunny day, perfect for outdoor photos and all the buzzing around we had to do in the morning. It was just awesome and I’m so grateful for all of the prayers and good thoughts that went out on our behalf and changed weather.com’s predictions. Take that, Weather Channel!

The ceremony was beautiful. Contrary to all the reports I had heard, I was not in a bridal haze and I remember every second. Jason did a wonderful job choosing the music and I am still amazed that the beautiful-sounding choir was made up of our friends. I got choked up a tiny bit at one point during the vows, and so did the rector, but otherwise I just felt very, very happy and smiley. As a bonus, we were able to use the choir microphones to record the entire ceremony, which we listened to the next day on our way up to Maine. The speaking voices are very quiet, but we think they got picked up and Jason thinks he can separate them into tracks and boost the sound so that we can send a copy to my mom (and anyone else who requests one I suppose).

I had a great time at the reception, in which we were introduced as Dr. Jason W___ and Kelly M____, Esquire. Awesome. We got to go around and chat a little with almost everyone, dance, cut the pies, all the usual stuff. Our first dance was “The Book of Love” by The Magnetic Fields** and the daddy-daughter dance was “Little Miss Magic” by Jimmy Buffett (my dad is a huge Parrothead). The last dance, which wasn’t really planned, but worked out well, was “Come Away With Me” by Norah Jones.

I thought I might feel kind of silly dancing in a wedding dress, but I actually felt like, well, everyone is looking at me anyway, might as well have fun. The skirt on the dress twirls really well. I’m pretty sure there are many pictures of Jason and me spinning around in a circle with our friends’ two year-old daughter Naomi, who really likes the two of us generally, but was completely in awe of my “princess dress.”

We honeymooned in a little cottage in Maine. Once I get pictures from Jason***, I’ll post about that. Suffice it to say, Maine was absolutely beautiful, the weather and the changing leaves cooperated perfectly, and if you’re looking for a down home greasy spoon, I highly recommend The Rockland Cafe, where we breakfasted three times****.

We haven’t gotten anything back from the official wedding photographer yet, but here is a picture that Jason’s dad took.

*****

* I do need to say a great big thank you to the Jenns, Jasmine, Cat and Angie who came over to help put the flowers together while I rushed around finishing with my packing. The boutonnieres, corsages, and bouquets looked amazing. Several people, including Jason, were shocked when I assured them that a bunch of girls sitting in my living room put together those lovely flowers. My friends rock.

** If you don’t know this song, go listen to it. Right now. I love it. It’s sweet and funny and, in my opinion, a very real depiction of love. Jason played it for me as an introduction to The Magnetic Fields shortly after we met and I knew it was our perfect song when we decided to get married.

*** Who is Crazy Photographer Man and took 1100 pictures. I only look supremely annoyed at having my picture taken for the thousandth time in one of them.

**** The first time we arrived at 11:55 AM and despite the fact that breakfast service stopped at noon, they were perfectly happy to cook me up some eggs and the best bagel I’ve ever eaten in my life. I really don’t want to know how much butter was involved.

***** Hair by Rachel.

Thursday is Going to be Busy

- The tailor is still fighting some sort of illness, which is why he wasn't there last night when I stopped by to pick up my dress like we had arranged, and why he was MIA for most of the day today. I finally reached him and I'll have my dress tomorrow morning. I am torn between feeling really bad for him and getting a migraine because I was supposed to have my dress a week and a half ago. Feeling really bad for him is definitely winning, but it's hard to have perspective. Well, it's hard for me at least, today, right this second.

- The flowers are a day late. The wholesaler was supposed to deliver them today to my lovely friend Sylvia who works from home and thus could be there when a delivery person showed up. However, they called me and apologized, but said they were running late and the flowers would be there tomorrow. Crossing my fingers that they're telling the truth and I will actually have a bouquet come Saturday afternoon.

- Thursday is now the day when EVERYthing is happening. I had planned for everything to be spaced out nicely, but now we have dress pick up, massage (which I'm really hoping I can relax enough to enjoy), lunch with my MOH who gets in on the red eye tomorrow morning (yay!), flower pick up, flower prepping for the big flower arranging on Friday night, running a few last errands that I had planned for what I thought would be a fairly uneventful Thursday afternoon, bachelorette party.

- I have seen anywhere from 70% chance of rain on Saturday, to clearing early Saturday morning and turning into a nice day. On my photographer's suggestion I'm going to buy a nice umbrella tomorrow and make the best of whatever may come.

- My boss gave me a shot of perspective this afternoon when he said that even though all this craziness is happening now, on Saturday, I'll still be married. And I added, "Yeah with all my family and friends around." And then I had to stop talking because I was going to cry.

Anyone for Soup?

One of my jobs just had a little wedding good luck party for me that was a complete surprise. They got me a yummy rich chocolate cake and a whole stack of presents, including my very favorite thing that I registered for*. I love this little soup tureen and bowls (another friend gave us the other 4 bowls so we have 8). They are definitely something that I would never buy for myself but that I really, really wanted.

The color and glaze reminds me of my parents' wedding dishes that I grew up with that were brown glazed with an off white rim. When I was little I remember thinking they were too dark and oh-so-70's. Of course, our avocado green appliances probably didn't help assuage that impression. Now I think that glazed brown is classic and so perfect for eating soup out of on a chilly night in front of the fire.

*Er, we registered for. Whatever, I've discovered registering is all about the woman unless the guy really likes to cook and is into home decorating. I am getting a little thrill and doing a happy dance every time we get something new off of the registry. Jason could care less. I mean, he's grateful that people are buying us stuff, but he would rather we registered for DVD's of TV shows or computer hardware. I wanted housewares, gosh darn it, as is my bridal right.**

**Wow, I'm glad this wedding is happening soon because I'm getting pretty insufferable.

Divine Intervention

Could everyone please say some prayers or send good vibes toward Cambridge or whatever your inclination may be that it not rain on Saturday? This past weekend was absolutely beautiful and as Jason and I walked around with the photographer yesterday afternoon scouting out many, many different places where we could get beautiful outdoor pictures, both of us thought that there was no way that the 20th would be as nice. There is no such thing as two nice weekends in a row in Boston in October. Sure enough, as of right now it's supposed to rain Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

The church where we're getting married is pretty and we'll take some pictures there, but we're also planning on taking pictures of the two of us in Mt. Auburn before the ceremony, and then taking pictures outside after the ceremony. Rain would destroy all of those plans. I don't even mind clouds so much, even though it won't be quite as pretty during the ceremony, just no rain.

Originally we were planning to get married on the 13th and now I really wish that had worked out. I guess it would just be wrong for there not to be something for me to stress about.

Crisis Averted

My dress is back in my life. I called for the fiftieth time this afternoon and the tailor was there and profusely apologizing. He apparently got sick and was actually in the hospital. I sort of veered toward Bridezilla as my thoughts ran along the lines of, "Well, I'm sorry you were sick, but this is my wedding dress!" I didn't actually say that, though. I said I was sorry he was sick and we scheduled a time for me to come in tomorrow and make sure everything fits.

I was more freaked out about this than I was letting myself think, though, because when I hung up the phone, I started crying. It was kind of ridiculous, but just the relief of knowing I had my dress was too much for me at that moment, I guess.

We moved most of my stuff down to Providence today, although somehow my room is still a mess. Granted, I do have a few more things I'll be sending back down with Jason when he comes up on Tuesday night. Plus, I have 3 garbage bags full of stuff for the Salvation Army. Plus 2 bags full of garbage to be taken downstairs. Plus a dresser, 2 bookshelves and the bed are still here So the room is still basically full, which is kind of crazy when I think about all of the stuff that is now piled in Jason's living room waiting to be sorted through.

Jason's friend Dave and I loaded everything into my car and Dave's minivan. I told Dave he's my new hero because we fit everything in there. This is not a small feat. We moved my dresser, a 5 foot bookshelf, a 7 foot bookshelf, my desk and hutch, a large wicker chest that I keep blankets in, and at least 20 boxes, 2 of which were 3 feet square. In a minivan and an Elantra. Yeah, Dave is a moving rock star.

I'm just so glad it's done. Mostly. I just need to pack up the remnants and get things organized for the honeymoon (Yay!)

Hostage

Just as I am starting to chill out about this whole wedding thing and feel like things will work out, my dress is being held hostage. I dropped it off at the tailor a few weeks ago and he pinned the dress up and gave me a claim check and told me it should be ready by October 7th. Since that was a Sunday, I figured I would give him until Monday, which was a holiday, so I still wasn't too concerned by Tuesday. Then I started calling and getting no answer. Over the past few days I have left a couple of messages and called no less than 25 times. A couple of friends live upstairs from his shop and one of them ran downstairs last night and then told me that he wasn't at the shop.

Which means, as of right now, I have no wedding dress. This was just the first alteration. Heaven forbid, now, with a week left to go, that anything else should need to be done to the dress. I was also going to have him steam the wrinkles out of my veil, but I guess I need to have someone else do that. I may only be wearing the veil part of my wedding ensemble come Saturday the 20th.

Jason is irate. I called him tonight to tell him about it and he just kept getting madder and madder and talking about how we're going to sue if I don't get my dress.* I told him that I didn't know what I would do if I didn't get my dress, but, FYI, I would probably be in tears on our wedding day. He said it wouldn't get to that point. He wouldn't let it.** So I guess if we don't hear anything by Monday he's going to call the city or the police or the Attorney General or someone who will give him some sort of satisfaction.

The thing is, the friends who live upstairs recommended the tailor because they go to him all the time and he's great and they couldn't say enough good about him. When I went upstairs to borrow tape from one of them tonight so that I could tape a note to the tailor's door, she was really shocked and said she hadn't seen him or his van the night before, which was odd. So, I really hope that nothing bad has happened. However, I really, really need my dress. More importantly, I need my dress with the alterations completed.


*Although that's not really indicative of much since he generally wants to sue someone for most anything as a get rich quick scheme. Personally, I think this totally beats the emotional distress claim of the judge who sued the dry cleaners who lost his pants.

**So I know this is a really less than ideal situation, however Jason's fierceness about it is actually very endearing. He's all mad because I'm worried and he doesn't want me to be sad and he's going to take care of it, gosh darn it. My hero.

Dancing Poll

We're having dancing at the wedding and are working on the playlist. Sky's the limit since we're just pulling from our own libraries and putting it on an itunes playlist. My question for you is, what makes you shake your booty? I want fun songs that will make people want to dance, but don't fall into the YMCA/Chicken Dance categories.

The playlist is kind of 80's heavy right now, which is fine, but we want multi-generational appeal too. So please, I would love your suggestions.

******
Things are coming together nicely. Last night I met with the caterer and Deborah, our friend who is acting as the day-of coordinator, and I feel totally confident in both of their abilities. My caterer is doing two shindigs this weekend for 350+ people so basically she could do my piddly little 85-person wedding sleeping, with her hands tied behind her back, underwater.

I scored with Cambridge Parking and Transportation this morning. The guy in charge of permits is a total Boston guy who let me block off 10 meters near the church, which they usually don't do for weddings, and only charged me for 5 meters. He asked me to bring him a finger sandwich after. Or it was more like "aftah".

This weekend is the big move of my furniture and large boxes and everything else I won't need for the next couple of weeks. It's really not going to be too bad, I just actually have to take the time to throw my remaining things into boxes over the next couple of nights. For those of you in the market, I highly recommend a scientist boyfriend because they have access to awesome moving boxes. Right after we started dating, he gave me some boxes for my move labeled "Hazardous Waste" with big orange warning symbols on the sides. The majority of my boxes for this move have pictures of fruit flies all over them. Much more interesting than the liquor boxes I usually use, and I have less chance of being mistaken for an alcoholic.

Work In Progress

Disclaimer: Jason is the one who emailed this to me.

Ring A Ding Ding

I got my ring on Friday night! So maybe two weeks before the wedding is cutting it a little close, but Jason feels sufficiently guilty and I won't dwell on it. Basically it's been a whole panoply of procrastination and finding the right thing. The important thing is, I have it now.

I sort of figured it was happening Friday night when Jason A) asked if I could be down in Providence by 8 PM, and B) wouldn't tell me where we were going for dinner, and C) took me to a fancy-schmancy place for dinner. Our normal Friday night is me showing up in Providence whenever I get there and usually wandering over to Apsara Palace* with Matt from Jason's lab and sometimes Matt's girlfriend. So this was different.

So I got to Providence by 8 as requested, and we headed to a fancy place where I had lamb and chocolate strawberry trifle.** Then we headed down to the river to go for a walk, which I figured was where the magic would happen. We walked down toward the river and I saw the gondolas that they have out on Waterfire night were there. I said, "Oh look, they have gondolas out tonight too." Then Jason started talking to the gondolier and I realized that the gondola was there for us.

We went on a nice ride down the river, and the gondolier, Marcello, serenaded us. Jason had brought sparkling apple cranberry juice that we drank out of champagne flutes. At a certain point Jason officially popped the question and I said yes and got my pretty ring that I'm still getting used to wearing and not catching on things.

Afterwards, he was so pleased to know that he had managed to surprise me with the whole gondola ride. Very cute.

So now I suppose it's officially official with all the officialness. Good thing since I've been planning a wedding and all.


* I recommend the Summer Rolls, Hot & Sour Soup, Singapore Noodles and Bee Boong with Seafood AND Tofu. Jason recommends the Scallion Pancakes. Matt recommends the Sesame Tofu and Seafood Bean Curd Soup.

** My new favorite dessert, and I am very happy that my friend Aleigh got me the trifle dish off my registry and that my friend Elaine got the little footed dessert bowls that kind of look like mini trifle dishes so they're perfect for serving the trifle, as my mom pointed out to me. By the way, registering rocks.

Moving In

Last night I made a good dent in packing up my stuff for my move down to Providence. I have been trying to move down gradually, taking several boxes with me every time I go down, and loading Jason's car whenever he comes up to take back down with him. We're moving my furniture next Saturday and I'm hoping to just be left with a bed and some clothes to get me through the last week in my old apartment.

Jason's sister is taking over my part of the lease, which worked out very well. We were going to swap beds, because I think mine is slightly nicer, but as we really thought about it, the idea of swapping one queen size mattress and boxspring for another queen size mattress and boxspring seemed pretty ridiculous. Especially since moving the boxspring into Jason's apartment was a feat of engineering due to an annoying metal railing on his porch and a sharp right turn immediately inside the front door. Maybe eventually I'll reclaim my own bed, but for now it's all Marissa's.

As I was getting into the packing I started thinking about what I was doing and feeling excited about the prospect of moving in with Jason and living with him and starting our life together. It made me happy to think in just a few weeks we would see each other every day and not have to deal with the two-city thing anymore.

However, when he came over later last night and we started going over the schedule for the wedding day the familiar feelings of stress set in and I found myself getting snippy with him again.

So the bad news is, I'm really stressed about the wedding and all the various details actually working out. It has kind of become something to get through. The good news is, I really am excited to be marrying Jason. In the end, that's the important part of the equation.

Load Off My Mind

I just got permission from a friend of mine who works around the corner from the church to use a few spaces in their parking lot. Now I don't have to wrangle with the city of Cambridge for some spots on one of the busiest weekends of the Fall.

Grease

You know, if I'm going to waste calories on crap food, I'd really like the crap food to be worth it. At one of my jobs I am at the intersection of nothing and the Mass Turnpike, wherein we are extremely limited in our choices for dining establishments. I thought I had found a good little lunch spot that made a decent grilled chicken salad, until I noticed the last time I went there that even though the food prep lady was wearing a rubber glove (ONE rubber glove), she used the gloved hand not only to prepare the food, but also to take your money and count out change. Then she would go back to food prep and NOT CHANGE THE GLOVE. I give her props for only using one hand to prep the food and for only touching the food with that one, gloved hand, but I think she kind of missed the health department's point.

So today I ventured into the little corner market, which has a surprising array of Asian grocery items at extravagant prices. I wanted to buy some red bean mochi, but it was $4.99 for a little package. They have a lunch selection of hot Chinese food and I decieded to throw caution to the wind and have General Tso's chicken since I've only had salads and sandwiches on whole wheat with no mayo for lunch this whole week. I got the chicken, some fried rice, and 2 little crab rangoons for $6.

And I just threw most of it away.

I don't know if I'm just getting hypersensitive to unhealthy stuff, or if this was especially bad, but the amount of grease in my little package was unreal. I kind of want to wipe my mouth out with a napkin to remove the grease layer. Even the rice was greasy. I mean, I know it's fried rice, but come on. It's like they fried it, and then stuck it in a big bowl of oil, and then served it up. The chicken was absolutely tasteless. I probably managed to consume a few hundred calories despite tossing it and that just kind of makes me mad. Such a waste.

*************

I really liked the Autumn template I had up last night, but the colors Blogger offers are very limited and the only darker color than the red for the text print was black, which sort of loses the point of the pretty Autumn template. I wish I could leave the orange in the background, but lighten the area in a block right around the text. I suppose I could just bold all of my entries from now on. Anyway, still futzing - in my spare time.

And, holy crap, I'm getting married 3 weeks from tomorrow. One thing I have to say about work being so busy is it keeps me from obsessing too much about the wedding, but on the other hand I keep remembering these little things and then realizing another week has passed.

Shocker

Take the Quiz here!

New Template

Before I add all the links on my sidebar and everything, what do you think?

Made-Up

A couple of weeks ago I ventured to MAC with my friend Andrea, aka MAC's best customer, to buy wedding make-up. I wanted some quality stuff that would work for the wedding and that I could also wear every day because despite faithfully putting on a bit of make-up every morning, a couple of people recently have mentioned how I don't wear any make-up at all. Hmph.

So you can imagine when the MAC girl got done with me I felt like I was just about ready to start swinging around a pole, if you know what I mean. I did buy the foundation (very sheer, very nice) and the moisturizing concealer and the eyeshadow. I have been gradually adding more to my make-up repertoire in the morning, in an effort to look more professional and grown-up. I have started wearing mascara even, which is a big step, but honestly it really does make my eyes look nice.

The one thing MAC couldn't help me with was lipstick. I am looking for a long-wearing all-day type lipstick and MAC didn't have anything like that in a color I liked. I popped into Sephora and the saleslady put a lip stain on me which promptly sank into every little crevice on my slightly chapped lips and made me look like a corpse. A corpse with bleeding lips. Pretty!

Tonight on my way home I stopped at Macy's and got conned into an Estee Lauder lipstick. No, actually the lady was very nice and helpful and patient and we found a great color, but I discovered shortly after buying it that the phrase "All-Day Lipstick" doesn't mean the same thing to me and Estee Lauder. So that's going back to the store.

In the end, I may just go with Cover Girl. Last summer I bought this long lasting lipcolor that really does stick on my lips and not let go. The color I have is too pink for the wedding day, so I'm hoping they have a good color for an Autumn afternoon/evening wedding. Unfortunately, unlike the department stores, you can't try Cover Girl on, so I may waste a little money in my search, but hopefully not too much. You would think the fancy make-up people would want to cash in on that long lasting lipcolor thing.

On another note, yes, yes, I know I need to fix my template. But, let's see, last night I was working until 10:30. I wasn't actually AT work. I left work around 8, carrying a large sheaf of papers to go through once I got home and had a little food and sanity. Today I had an all-day continuing legal education class, which is fascinating, but means that tonight is catch up on work time. Same goes for tomorrow after part 2 of the CLE class. So, template is kind of low on my list.

My sister* Beckie referred me to this template site. I lurve this girl's templates, only... Well, when I did a test run with my blog on one of the pretty, pretty templates, I realized that the text colors blend too much into the background colors and that the text is very very tiny. I don't really have the patience to figure out the html and change these things, which is really too bad because I like the templates a lot. Maybe I should email the designer and make suggestions.


*Not my real sister, but everyone always asks if we are sisters because we look so much alike. There is this picture from her bridal shower that we both had to look at for a few seconds before figuring out who was who. When I used to hang out with her and her two little sisters it was like insta-siblings.

Target* is Not My Best Friend Anymore

You know what a bride one month out from her wedding doesn't need? A discount department store emailing her last minute wedding weight loss and fitness tips. Yes, I KNOW everyone is going to be staring at me all day and I should be subsisting on water and fruit and maybe some ex-lax because I'm THE BRIDE and it's ALL ABOUT ME**, but seriously, shut up.


*One of the places we registered.
**You would not believe how the websites and the bridal people push the Bridezilla mentality.

Hyperventilating

A friend just casually mentioned that my wedding is the same weekend as Head of the Charles.

My wedding is in Cambridge.

Holy crap.

Sticking my head between my knees now.

More Wedding Stuff Because I'm Getting Really Boring Like That

Well, I finally sucked it up and went to the tailor yesterday to get my dress altered. It needs to be let out of course. Sigh. The shop is on a semi-busy street and I was standing on the little stool facing the mirror for about a half hour, my back to the windows, my zipper not quite up all the way, as if to say, "Hello, world! Check out my bra!"

The tailor was recommended to me by a couple of girls who live in an apartment right above him. Personal recommendations are always good. Plus, his name is Coco, and I couldn't resist that. While he was pinning me up, my friend Christy walked by outside and came in to say hi. And thus I was able to prove that I do indeed know the girls upstairs.

The best part is the alterations are going to cost around $100. That's to let it out, hem it and bustle it. Considering David's Bridal was talking $250-$300 for the same items, I think I came out pretty good overall.

And that's really the last big thing. I just still need to order the flowers and the pies.

Oh, yes, the pies. After pricing a few bakeries and really dragging my feet on the whole cake issue, Jason and I made an executive decision to have pie instead. A cake would have been $200 minimum, but probably more like $250 or $300. Cake isn't my favorite dessert really and Jason hates frosting*, so after salivating over all of the pies at the Big E this weekend, we decided pie would be the way to go. Nice fall pies like pumpkin and apple and maybe I can get some pecan thrown in for the Southern side of my family (aka 3/4 of my family). And a big vat of vanilla ice cream for a la mode. Just thinking about it is making me want some in a way that wedding cake never did.

Oh, and apparently my template is permanently gone, which is a shame since I really liked it. I guess it's an excuse to look for a nice Fall/Winter look. You know, in my spare time.


* I know this is a common dislike, but, really? You hate frosting? I don't understand. Sugar, butter, vanilla, sometimes chocolate. What is there to hate exactly?

Technical Difficulties

I have no idea what's up with my blog template and neither does Blogger apparently. I'm going to wait it out a couple of days and then look into redoing my template.

Accessorizing

Taking a poll. So I thought I was going to wear my Nana's opal necklace on my wedding day, however, I wore it to church last week and realized the pendant kind of swings around a bit and I would probably need to be resettling it properly on my chest periodically and I'm going to be wearing way too much clothing* to be worrying about that too.


So here's the thing. I have a lovely strand of pearls that my parents gave me when I graduated from law school. They are slightly off-white (as pearls are), but my dress is white white. Too clashing?


I bought these yesterday:
I tried them on and was shocked that they didn't make my feet look like giant white boats like every other white shoe I have tried. They're actually pretty cute and the shoe store owner had the brilliant idea of dyeing them black or something after the wedding so that I could wear them because honestly, when am I ever going to wear white shoes again.



I tried on my dress with my shoes and my veil yesterday and, holy cow, I look like a bride!


* One of my panicky thoughts last night as I lay in bed running through my list of what's left to do was, "What happens if I have to pee?!" Seriously. I have no answer.

Weather

I’m going to ask for a little intercessory prayer to the weather gods on my behalf.

1. The whole idea behind getting married in October was so that my family could all revel in the charming Autumn in New England scene. However, the leaves have started to change and while I find myself oohing and aahing over some particularly lovely bright red explosions of color, it is TOO EARLY. I want foliage in the pictures! Slow it down, New England!
   
2. October can be kind of fickle weather-wise and just Sunday I heard of a wedding in October a couple of years ago where it just poured. Eeek! No rain on October 20th! It can be cloudy all it wants. In fact, cloudy would be great for picture time since then we wouldn’t be all squinty and have weird shadow patterns on us. But, please, no rain!

Thank You For Being A Friend*

You know what's awesome? Friends, that's what. Or, maybe it's that's who. My Masters in English is serving me well, apparently.

Anyway, ever since we started planning the wedding, friends have been generously offering to help in any way they can, even saying two or three times that if we need them, they're ready and willing. I feel so loved and supported. Since I am trying to keep this as simple as possible (and on the small side) there hasn't been too much we've needed help with yet. But it's wonderful to know that our friends want to be there for us.


* And now you have that song going through your head for the rest of the day. You're welcome.

Checklist

Today I:

1) Finished buying everything for my centerpieces.

2) Decided that we will be doing the flowers ourselves, even though I may regret it the night before the wedding, but I know I can count on at least 3 good friends helping out, one of whom I just found out today used to work in a nursery making corsages and boutonnières. Score!

3) Bought gifts for 3 babies because, oh my gosh, everyone is popping out the babies lately. There are still 2 that I need to buy presents for. Sure, I enjoy trotting around the baby department at Target, but I just have to say there are a LOT of babies in my life lately.


I still need to:

1) Order a cake. I have to go into the bakery at 8 AM on a Saturday morning because I need to get in there before the crowds descend, and seeing as how it's a super popular bakery in the North End, the crowds, they do descend. I was going to do it a couple of weeks ago, but wow, do I need to get up early to make it to the North End by 8 AM. On a Saturday.

2) Get my dress altered. It's official that the dress will need to be let out. My amazing adventures in weight loss hit a snag in about June when I started working real jobs and Jason got in an accident and I bought a new car and I started spending more time down in Providence and the wedding planning kind of took over my spare time and thoughts processes. So I believe I've gained back a few pounds. Boo! However, I gave Jason a reality check a couple of weeks ago when I made him stand on my scale and I have a feeling that once the wedding is done and I am moved and we're living in the same place and not doing this driving an hour to see each other thing and I am doing the shopping and the cooking, we can get the weights under control.

3) Buy a guest book. Why are all guest books tacky tacky tacky? I can put together a classy and simple wedding, but heaven forbid someone make a classy and simple guest book. They are usually padded with lots of bows and glitz and sometimes feathers.


Jason and I spent Saturday night printing out invitations and they look great, if I do say so myself. The invitation itself has a pretty gold leaf at the top, to go with the whole Autumn in New England feeling of the wedding, and Jason put a watermark of the church we're getting married in behind the print. However, due to some issues with the envelope printing that were partly my fault and partly Word's fault, we only got half of them printed. So if there are any family members who hear about, say, the Escos or the Blooms getting their invitations, while say, the Szabos did not, rest assured that you will. This weekend we only made it through the R's.

I Was Run-ning

Jason has a friend who is doing this.

Mostly, we figure, because he's insane.

Flowers

This whole time I have been planning on doing my own flowers for the wedding. It was going to be very simple, which has been my mantra throughout this entire planning process. Simple. Simple. Simple. Maybe a couple of bouquets in the sanctuary, but nothing major, bouquets for me and my three ladies, boutonnieres for Jason and his guys, 3 corsages and 5 more boutonnieres. I also planned to use flowers in the centerpieces, however this weekend I came up with a design that is simple and incorporates candles (which I wanted) and, in fact, does not involve flowers.

So now after totaling all of this up, I'm thinking maybe I should just suck it up and go to a florist since I don't know if buying 100 wholesale flowers is really necessary. The thing is, all of my flowers are roses and I bet the florist will charge a ton for roses. I can get 100 roses and filler for $150 from the wholesaler. It's called Wedding in A Box, and I think it's brilliant.

But then you have to factor in wire and ribbon and the labor time. But then I could also distribue the excess roses amongst my friends, which is kind of fun. Thoughts?

On Saturday I drove out to Burlington, MA to what I thought was a flower wholesaler. I guess technically he was, but not a very useful one.

Basically I walked up to the store, where a burly man was talking on a cordless phone. I went to pull open the door and he said, "Hold on. What do you need, hon?"

I said I wanted to talk about wedding flowers.

He asked, "When's your wedding?"

I said "October"

He guffawed and said, "I don't know from one day to another what I'm going to have in stock. I jsut get overflow from folks."

I said, "Ok, well I want particular flowers so I guess this won't work."

Then he said, "Yeah, you can go to one of those other guys to get 'what you want'*, but they'll charge you an arm and a leg."

"Well...yes...maybe so. But I kind of need to know what flowers I'm going to have for my wedding."

He shrugged as if to say, "suit yourself" said thanks for stopping by, and went back to his phone conversation.

So that was kind of a pointless drive, except for then I went to Michael's and made up my centerpieces. I also discovered a new route to Burlington that bypasses the highway and winds through these really pretty, woodsy neighborhoods. Nice.


*This was said with a sneer in his voice. Like I was being absolutely ridiculous wanting particular flowers and in particular colors for my wedding.

Papers Papers Everywhere

One of the things I do not like about having two lawyer jobs is that I have two separate sets of piles of papers. Maybe one of my sets would just be doubled if I worked one of these jobs full-time, but I'm not so sure.

My little cubicle at the health care company is getting overrun with papers from various projects I have worked on, I am working on, or I will be working on when the stuff I am working on is done and assuming that other items haven't come up in the meantime to supplant them. I have done my best to organize by topic and into different colored folders, but the papers are taking over. It's even migrating to my house because I usually take a couple of those colored folders home with me, ostensibly to work on, though that hasn't really been happening much lately because of the wedding planning and the qoing away parties for friends* and Jason's family visiting, etc.

At the firm I have more space because I have my own office, but even though I haven't been there nearly as long as at the health care company, I already have a formidable set of papers since I got thrown into two huge projects almost immediately. Earlier this week when I had a slow moment, I went through the piles and organized and labeled them, but since then, more stuff has come in and now the piles are migrating to the floor.

Plus not only do I have 2 different sets of piles to keep track of physically, but I also have to keep track of them in my head. I can be right on top of things at one job, but then the next day I'm at the other job and every time I'm asked a question, I have to crawl back into the recesses of my mind where I stored that information two days before and I'm just hoping that doesn't make me appear completely scatterbrained. It's there, it's just not at the forefront of my brain right now.


* Everyone is leaving! Tonight I have a going away dinner for one of my roommates, and tomorrow I have a going away party for three other friends.

Anniversary

Today is a big day. For one, it’s Jason’s and my two year anniversary! Happy anniversary to us.

For two, it’s exactly two months until our wedding.* And it is starting to feel very real, at least for me. Something clicked in my brain this weekend. Probably because Jason’s parents are in town and I feel like now that Jason and I are getting married, I’m getting accepted and welcomed as a future family member. On Saturday there were some impromptu family pictures and Sarah’s brother-in-law posed us by saying, “Okay, the wives stand behind the bench…” and I thought, oh yeah, I’m going to be one of the wives.

I also found myself eyeing my friends’ babies** and thinking about how that could be us in a few years. I mean seriously thinking about it. I’ve always wanted kids in this abstract sense, but to actually look at the babies and think, ‘we could do that,’ was sort of a new step for me. I think it helps that Jason is completely adorable with Sarah’s 5-month old nephew, although he did tell me that if our babies aren't as awesome as Sarah's nephew, we may have to send them back. I suppose mulling over these big life events and feeling like they are actually possible is what this whole starting a new life and a new family thing is all about.


* For those of you keeping track, no we didn’t get the invitations out today. Jason promised me we’ll get them out sometime this week.

** Seriously, almost everyone we know is having a baby right now.

Los-er

In case you were wondering, I am the losiest loser that ever was. Jason and I planned to watch the Perseids last night. Since he lives right near the Brown University observatory, which has a nice big lawn in front of it, we trekked out there with a picnic blanket and lay down, fully prepared to be awed by the vastness of space.

Instead, I fell asleep. For the life of me, I could not keep my eyelids from drooping down. We went out kind of early, so at the beginning it wasn't that big a deal. I think Jason saw 3 or 4 during that first hour. But then things really picked up and I would lay there, willing my eyes open, and just when I gave in to the crushing force of my eyelids and gravity, Jason would go, "Whoa!" or "Wow!" or "Did you see that one?"

No, no I didn't see that one. Because I'm a loser who can't manage to stay awake past 12 despite being a self-proclaimed night owl. Stupid regular day job with stupid regular hours has killed my ability to rock the house* until 4 AM.

So I saw about 3 meteors last night. I was so excited to go out and watch them too. Sigh.

PS I have no idea who the guy in the picture is, but I liked his Loser L.


* You know, for a Mormon girl.

Shower

Saturday my roommates held a bridal shower for me which was so fun. Really hot and sweaty, but so fun. We had the AC on in the living room all day leading up to the shower, but it just couldn't compete with 20+ women in one room and the 90+ degrees outside. I felt so loved as we all sat and sweated together. My roommates and I have been dining off of the leftovers of chocolate fountain chocolate, pretzels, fruit, brie, hummus and ice cream ever since.

We got some items off of our registries, plus some scandalous items that embarrassed me more than I ever thought they would. I am pretty up front when it comes to, um, honeymoon items, and my roommates know this, so I think I shocked them by turning bright red and giggling like a 12 year-old boy when I opened up three boxes from them containing 3 pretty negligees. Not to mention the sensual massage book and massage nectar from another friend.*

Everything made me so happy. The flower-shaped appetizer tray, the lime squeezer and avocado slicer, the pitcher with the school of fish etched on it, the good knives and ALL the towels and the bath mat I registered for. It kind of makes me feel like a grown up, knowing that we will be somewhat coordinated. I'm excited about the prospect of living in a space that feels more like a home and less like an interim stopping point. We'll see how it goes considering I'm moving into Jason's bachelor pad.

***

On a side note - or maybe it's right on topic. Whatever - I'm getting tired of wedding planning. I don't know how those people who are engaged for 1 year or more do it. Because, okay, sure, I want to be the pretty, pretty princess for a day. And yes, it's fun to think about getting presents and setting up house and having loved ones around to cheer us on. But it's just all the planning and arranging and thinking about things that's wearing me out. And I've only been doing this for two months. My momentum is kind of waning and I still need a cake and flowers and to get all creative with centerpieces. Actually, I saw some centerpieces on a photographer's site that I might steal so I don't have to be all that creative. And we have to do invitations. By August 20th, so say the etiquette books. Have we started? Um...no.

I'm just kind of tired of thinking about it. Maybe I'm not as much of a girlie girl as I thought I was.

Not to mention, now that we know we're getting married, I kind of miss Jason on the evenings when we're not together. I mean, I like my alone time, but it feels like now that the decision has been made, we should be together. We know we're getting married, so why don't we just go do that then? Instead there's this whole "engaged" period. It's hard to explain, but the whole waiting period after we've decided what we want to do just seems kind of silly.


* Any bets on how many seedy hits the blog will get now that I've typed the words sensual massage?

Decision

Well, it's been a week and after discussing the situation at length, Jason and I have decided to have our wedding as planned in October. We will hopefully be able to visit my parents and spend time with them at Thanksgiving. There are several reasons we have decided this. One of them is that by focusing solely on my mom, we may end up excluding other family and friends who are also important to us. Also, based on what my dad has told me, it sounds like even if we tried to do something in Chicago, my mom may still not be able to sit for any length of time or enjoy herself. There are other considerations as well, and this is what's best for us right now as we start our new life together.

I do like the suggestion a couple of you had to videoconference/webconference them in. I have no idea if that would be possible from the church, but it's something to look into. At the very least, we will videotape the event.

In the end, I know there's really no way to make everyone happy with our decision, but we think this is best for us in this situation. We aren't getting married in the temple right now, so my hope is that my parents will be able to come to our sealing when that happens.

I am glad that I could get out some of the rolling, spinning thoughts that were rattling around in my brain last weekend.

So the planning continues.

Not Really Sure What To Do...

My parents will not be at my wedding. My mom is too sick and my dad can’t leave her – not that I would want him to leave her all alone to sit and be sad, knowing that she was missing the wedding.

There are many things wrong with my mom, all of them degenerative so they’re not getting any better. She turned 51 yesterday and she is completely disabled. The main problem right now is the arthritis that has basically destroyed all of the cartilage in all of her joints. When I have talked to her recently she has told me how she can’t move her arms anymore.

Earlier on in this wedding planning process she talked about getting one of her shoulders operated on, having a couple of months to recuperate, and then coming to the wedding. As far as I knew, while my mom and I discussed the plans, they were planning on coming. However, the surgery has been postponed a couple of times and after meeting with her doctor last week, they determined that she would not be able to travel in October.

So basically I’m still planning and still trying to feel excited for the sake of my amazing roommates who are throwing a shower for me this weekend and for the sake of the rest of our family and friends who are so excited for us. But my excitement is tempered with a deep sadness. My dad won’t walk me down the aisle, my parents won’t be in the pictures, all of those standard wedding things won’t be what I thought they were going to be. We have put down nonrefundable deposits and other people have bought nonrefundable tickets. I talked with Jason last night about calling things off. I mean, still getting married, but not doing the whole big thing. Right now at 12:47 AM that feels like it might be an option again.

But today I was trying to think of ways to make things a little better somehow for them, even though I know it really won’t be. Ways like getting everything on video.

And really it’s not even the wedding that is the worst part of all of this. It’s that my mom is so very sick. I know she would be here if there was any possible way. I am their only child. Yesterday I broke down to Jason and one of my roommates. I thought I could talk about it, but while I was explaining my parents' situation and why they couldn't come I just started sobbing. It makes me feel so completely helpless to think about what is going on with them. I have watched this happening for, well, for my whole life really, and sometimes the sadness and the frustration overwhelm me.

I have felt it all day. My body feels like one giant clenched muscle and I am weary.

Engagement Photo Shoot Outtakes

Brandon and his lovely assistant Sarah took some pictures of me and Jason on Sunday. We got some nice ones, but here for your viewing pleasure are some of the not no nice ones:

Right off the bat there was some bad lighting going on. As you can see, we were not pleased.
Looking adoringly at that man of mine.

Waiting for our close up.
We were trying to look like we were having fun.

Maybe if we look pretty no one will notice the headstones behind us...

Kissy poo

Jason's standard reaction to kissing me while I'm wearing lipstick

Sassy!

Since Brandon took over 400 pictures in an hour or so, there are points where you could make a virtual flipbook of the action.

What should we do next?

I don't know, what do you think?

How about smug and haughty? Can we pull off smug and haughty?
I think we succeeded.

Trying not to laugh.

Honestly, we did have a lot of fun

Like I said, there were several really nice shots. We look so photogenic, like a magazine shoot as my MOH Jenn said, but honestly I think if you take 400+ pictures of anyone, there are bound to be a few good ones. Kudos to Brandon for his patience and for taking some really nice pictures.

Saving Money

We're on a tight budget for this wedding. I have been doing my best to bargain hunt, sending out scores of emails and checking out hundreds of websites for reception venues, caterers, photographers, cakes, bridesmaid dresses, etc. I have enlisted the assistance of my mom in the quest to have a relatively inexpensive wedding, while still trying to pull together something classy. Most of the vendors have been very nice when I've politiely informed them that their particular service doesn't fit into our budget. However, there have been a couple of rude people, that kind of make me want to tell everyone their names so no one who I know or who reads this blog will use them. Even though I'm strapped for cash, that's no reason to be rude to me.

Rule Number 1: Generally, if the reception venue/caterer doesn't list their prices, that means I can't afford it.

So about a month ago I called this one venue that actually seemed to have decent prices online. I got on the phone with on of the venue's wedding coordinator. We discussed the packages and it became clear that I could not afford them. She asked me what my budget was and then gave a snort and told me that I was crazy if I thought I could have a reception for under $10,000.

She was wrong. And a snot. And if you're planning a wedding in Boston I will tell you who it was.

Rule Number 2: Surprisingly, even if a photographer doesn't list their prices, they might be affordable.

The photographers have generally been very nice. However, the other day I shot off a form email to a photographer asking for her wedding rates and I mentioned my budget for photography just to put it out there so we would both know if we were even in the same ballpark. This is the response I got back:

Thank you for inquiring about our wedding photography. Unfortunetly we are
unavailale on that date. Our wedding photography priceing starts at
$3000.00. I wouldn't know where to direct you in relation to your budget. Keep
in mind, that the photography is all you will have left after the wedding.
Everything else is just for the moment. You should porbably give your priorities
anohter thought.

Um, I think my priorities are fine, thank you. They include not going into massive debt for what is basically a one-day party. I have found several photographers with packages starting at half the price of yours and whose websites are just as pretty as yours. I also think that you should invest in a spell checker for your email program. Or at least proofread.


I have my own Rule Number 1 for photographers: GET A WEBSITE. Seriously. It's 2007. No really, it is. The brides of today will be surfing the internet looking for their vendors and you are missing out because I guarantee the majority of my generation has an aversion to making phone calls and listening to sales pitches over and over and over again.

Birds Will Sing As If They Knew

Well, I think all the people we know in real life who might be offended if they found out this way know, so now we can tell everyone.

Jason and I are getting married!

In October. I love October! It's the perfect Autumn in New England month and I'm hoping for nice weather because Autumn in New England can also be really rainy and blah. The wedding is 10 days after my birthday, 2 days after my parents' anniversary, 6 days after my uncle's birthday and 1 day after my late Nana's birthday. All reasons why October has always been my favorite month, even when I didn't live in New England. Not to mention the apples and the pumpkins and foods tinged with nutmeg and cinnamon and cloves.

The plans have been in progress since around Memorial Day. I have a dress, we know where we're having the ceremony and reception, we're pretty sure which caterer we're going with*, I found a flower wholesaler, I have 1 maid of honor and 1 bridesmaid so far, family and friends are coming from far and wide.

We need a cake and a photographer. On the cheap. Any recommendations in the Boston area?





*Had a tasting last week. The food was great and the caterer is really nice and pulled together her own wedding on a strict budget five years ago. She has lots of ideas for me.

Monkey Arms

I have a casual black jacket from H&M that I keep at work because it is always, ALWAYS freezing at work. I can drink tea all day long, but I will still be frozen by mid morning.

As I was putting on the jacket today, I wondered what sort of disproportionate freakshow this jacket was actually made for.

First of all, I have the sleeves rolled up about 3 inches because the jacket was made for a woman with very long arms. Even with the sleeves rolled up, I can still pull the sleeves down enough to tuck my fingers inside when they’re especially cold. The actual sleeves are a little baggy now that I’ve lost weight, even though my upper arms are still not what you would call “small”. Laps and laps of freestyle have not helped as my triceps, while toned, are also formidable.

Now here’s the thing. It is made from a heavy knit fabric, but it’s shaped like a blazer so there is a collar and buttons up the front. I can’t button the buttons. Actually, I can button them over my chest (which isn’t teeny, even though it’s not what it once was), but then I struggle to get the button to close around my waist. The finished product has the button straining at the waist, while the fabric over my chest is a little loose.

So apparently this jacket was made for a woman with large, sturdy monkey arms, a 38DD rack and a 20 inch waist. Of course.

Road Rage Repository

To the big mother Buick that didn't signal that he was turning right as I was trying to merge into oncoming traffic: "Thanks for the signal, Buddy!"

To the woman who decided she just had to make that light and then got stuck right in front of me, looking all nonchalant: "Don't block the box!"

To the woman who honked AND yelled at me with wild arm gestures as she practically merged into me: "Yeah, I've been following this truck for 2 miles and you had a Yield sign back there. B***h." I really wanted to roll down my window for that one.

I have a bit of a problem.

How Embarrassing

Last night Jason, Brandon and I had a slumber party at Jason's apartment. Brandon came because he needed to retrieve his car, which he had loaned to Jason when Jason's car got all smashed up, and I came because Jason's my boyfriend and I do that sometimes.*

So this morning I woke up before anyone else and spent some time reading a HILARIOUS book that some friends of Jason gave him as a gag gift several years ago. After an hour or so, I decided it was time for Jason to wake up and entertain me so I moseyed into his room, snuggled up next to him, and promptly fell back to sleep.

I woke up a little while later, screaming. Scared the crap out of Jason and apparently Brandon and Tiny in the next room.

I was having a dream, see. In the dream it was my first day working a new job with a bunch of other people. Outside of the room where we were all sitting, was a little food store.** After awhile, I went over to the cashier and asked him where the bathroom was. He said, all smiles, "Oh, I'll show you, little missy," or something to that effect.

Then he took me on this roundabout route through the next couple of rooms, and just as I realized it was getting darker and more remote and started feeling a little worried, he turned on me and cornered me and starting trying to kiss me. I fought him and kept trying as hard as I could to yell or scream because everyone else was just a couple of rooms away, but I couldn't get any sound out. I kept trying and trying and finally I summoned all my breath and strength and let out a blood-curdling scream.

Which woke everyone up.

I was so embarrassed and couldn't stop laughing at myself.

I'm kind of a vivid dreamer. I've only ever screamed myself awake once before. At least I don't sleepwalk anymore.


* You know, in the good Mormon girl sense.
** This has nothing to do with the rest of the dream, but there were signs all over the shelves saying things like, "Silent concession stand", "No talking", "If you talk you will be asked to leave." Weird.

We Rock the Body, Rock the Body

Got my new car.

Love. It.

My life is so much fuller now that I have a sound system with awesome bass.

New Car!

My blog is turning into a car blog. Starting Anew: the blog for your compact car enthusiast.

So I bought a new car today. Eeeee!

I've never bought a brand spanking new car before, but I think I did it the best way possible. I emailed dealers ahead of time, got price quotes, and went from here. No big haggling session. My salesman was a nice guy and I feel like I got a pretty good deal.

Ooooooo


Aaaaaaaah

And here it is next to Bunny, who I traded in.
Bunny was a good car for awhile and then she started breaking a lot. Right now she needs new brakes and tires, there's a leak in the brake fluid line, and I think I need to replace a CV boot. Given that I just put $1500 into her last fall, I thought it was time to move on.

I get to pick the new car up in a few days after the insurance and registration is all set up and after they install the sunroof.

Sunroof!

Yay!