Winchester Mystery House

8/6/05
Since it was a Saturday, Rawson got to join Jenn and I on our daily outings. We headed north to San Jose with the intent of going to The Winchester Mystery House, which I had read about for years in ghost books and was thrilled to realize was nearby when I flew out for Jenn and Rawson's wedding last year.

First, though, we had to stop at

I still don't really know what a Rosicrusian is, but they had a cool museum, and, as luck would have it, admission was free that day! I've always been fascinated by ancient Egypt.

First off, we have the fake Egypt outside:




However, once we went inside, most of the artifacts were genuine ancient Egyptian (I say "most" because they had a few objects just for show, like a plaster fake of the head of Nefertiti, which I think is in The British Museum).

So here we have Real Egypt:





I've had a morbid fascination with scarabs ever since the Mummy movies, starring Brendan Fraser, one of my personal favorites.

And here we have Jenn and Rawson being goofy in the underground tomb inside the museum:

Jenn may hate me for posting this picture

After perusing the Rosicrucian gift shop, it was time to head to

You know, the giant red and white sign, numerous families with small children, and carnival atmosphere should have told me that the spook factor was going to be on the down low.

In the late 1800's Sarah Winchester, the widow of the head of the Winchester company, and heir to the Winchester fortune, moved to San Jose with a mission. While living back east, she had been told by a spiritual advisor that the spirits of all of the people ever killed by the Winchester rifle were angry and wanted her to build a house for them. The house had to be worked on continually and could never be finished. The result is a sprawling mansion, with stairs that go nowhere, confusing hallways, and a maze of rooms. So my question for you is, knowing that story, what parents of small children look at each other on a Saturday morning and say, "I know where we should take the kids today!"

You have to go through the HUGE gift shop to get to the tour. The shop boasted maps of the area and books about California ghosts and the Winchester House, but mixed in with those were figurines of frogs with straw hats by the fishin' hole, recipes for gingerbread cookies with the dry ingredients attached, and a snack bar that I believe sold churros and giant novelty cups for your soda.

Once the tour started I was hoping for some spooky flair. Not so much. We were obviously the 57th tour of the day for our particular tour guide and he was intent on shuttling us through as quickly as possible, with as little attention to real detail or an authentic experience of any sort as possible. At times he spoke so fast that I had no idea what he was saying. He stumbled over the words, and I think spit on a few of the patrons

Regardless, I took numerous pictures hoping that the ghosts would ignore the crappy guide and the gawking tourists and put in an appearance for me, who of course is not a gawking tourist, but someone really interested in the whole ghost story genre and who, darn it, wanted some spookiness in her afternoon.

This is Sarah Winchester's buggy, parked inside at the very beginning of the tour.

Whether or not there were ghosts sitting in it at that very moment, I thought the buggy itself looked kind of creepy.

The staircase that goes nowhere!


The seance room where nightly seances were held and plans for the house were drawn pursuant to the ghosts' directions.


The ballroom, where Sarah Winchester would play the organ for hours so that the ghosts could dance (does this sound like Disney's Haunted Mansion to anyone else?)


This is the one picture where I thought maybe, MAYBE, I'd captured something of note. The image in the far left of the mirror looked like a man in profile to me and several other people I showed it to. But looking at the larger picture I see that it's not. Good story though.


The latent Victorianaophile inside me took several pictures of the details in the house because even though it's a crazy and confusing place, Sarah Winchester was insanely rich and spared no expense in creating beautiful elements for her home. For instance, all of the decorative glass was made by Tiffany:




This was the last room of the tour and the entire floor, ceiling, and walls were covered by lovely wood paneling.

What can I say? I appreciate decorative details.

At the end of the day, I felt sad for Sarah Winchester. She was crippled by arthritis, most likely not completely mentally stable, and haunted (both literally and figuratively apparently) by the means of her fortune.

But who can beat a fun day of cheesy museums?

Redwoods

8/5/05

Jenn and I headed out first thing for the Redwood Forest. Well, first we had to stop at this restaurant and get awesome burgers, but THEN it was straight to the Redwoods.

First off, I don't know if you realize, but the redwoods are very tall


They are also very big around, as evidenced by this picture of Jenn (who is not very big around) standing next to a couple of them.


Initially driving through the forest felt very primeval. Suddenly everything is darker and cooler, and you're surrounded by these towering trees on all sides. I could see how easy it would be to get lost if you happened to stray off a trail.

Jenn and I hiked what we determined was about 5 miles of trail, first along a river, then up into the mountains a bit. It was beautiful.

The bottom of a fallen tree. The trunk was completely hollow.

A view from the trail.


The entryway to a room in a redwood trunk.

As Jenn, my very knowledgeable guide, informed me, when John Fremont first came to the Redwoods, legend has it that he slept in this tree. You walk in the doorway and it opens up inside the tree to a very comfortably-sized room. I'm amazed at how much abuse the trees can take at their bases and yet they keep growing and growing. (I'd also like to note that based on this picture I've determined that I shan't be taking anymore pictures in the squatting position)

On the trail was a circle of Redwoods that they called the Cathedral. I think you can see why.


Sunbeams


I don't know if my camera does the color justice, but I took this picture because it was just so amazingly green.


Trail


That night was arts night in Santa Cruz, which included my new favorite performers, PYROCUSSION!

Seriously, they're awesome.

At the same gallery where Pyrocussion performed was this metal armadillo, which obviously rocks.


All in all, a great day.

Blogger Question

So you know my super interesting "Malcontentment" post that everyone has an opinion about? I don't know why, but when I click on it, the post won't open all the way. I see the first few paragraphs, and that's it. The end of the post and all the comments won't open. I emailed Blogger and they haven't responded yet so I thought I'd see if anyone else knows what's up. I print out my entries and I definitely want that one with all of its comments.

Monterey

How is it that I can empty a couple of bookcases and fill 11 boxes and still look like I've done nothing? I hate moving.

Insomnia strikes again. I think it has something to do with the switch my doctor and I made of my meds so that I could get the generic since I don't have insurance anymore (still cost $100. Freakin' pharmaceutical companies!) I used to take one pill in the morning, but now I have to take one in the morning and one in the evening. Besides forgetting the evening one a couple of times over the past couple of weeks, it's messing with my sleeping as well. That was one of the reasons we switched to the once-a-day one in the first place, to see if it was the evening pill that was messing up my sleep. Turns out it was. I thought I'd get all the kinks worked out and get adjusted to it while I was on vacation. Guess not. But the non-generic costs about $200, so the generic is necessary.

So since I'm wide awake at 3:15 AM, I thought I'd pull together my post about Monterey.

8/4/05
Jenn and I headed south to Monterey, passing through the area of California that provides the majority of the amazing produce I was gushing about a few days ago.

The water of Monterey Bay is the bluest I've ever seen, other than in the Bahamas.




First stop was the Monterey Bay Aquarium.


I know it's blurry, but it says, "The sea is as near as we come to another world." This is the entryway to a portion of the aquarium. It is a darkened room, with fish swimming furiously above you in a tank that completely encircles the room.

Jellyfish




Kelp Forest


Diver in Kelp Forest with Sharks


It was hard to take pictures in the Aquarium since my flash tended to reflect off the tanks, but it was too dark to get decent pictures in the darkened rooms without the flash. Suffice it to say, we saw sea otters being fed, penguins waddling around (I still want a baby penguin!), beautiful jellyfish, and a myriad of amazing fish.

After the Aquarium, we walked along Cannery Row, taking in the shops and the tourists.

We stopped in a candy shop so I could buy an assortment of saltwater taffy in true tourist fashion. As I was perusing the vast barrels of taffy, a group of teenage girls came into the shop, loudly talking to one another.

One of them said, "Dad would be okay with us spending all our money here because we're not in Utah anymore and won't be giving money to the Mormons." (or something like that)

I started laughing; Jenn was mad. I appreciated her getting irate on my behalf, but it was so obviously an ignorant comment. And seriously, girlie, you best watch what you say. There are lots of Mormons in California.

With all due respect to the Aquarium, I think Jenn and I got the most joy from John Steinbeck's Spirit of Monterey Wax Museum. Wax museums are always outstandingly awful, and this one was no exception. Although the one in that Jenn and I went to several years ago with a wax Last Supper was pretty tacky, Steinbeck's may have it beat.

First of all, the guided tour was a piped-in recording of "John Steinbeck" taking us through the history of his beloved Monterey and his old digs in Cannery Row. Each of his comments were augmented by a strategic spotlight on whichever wax figure we were supposed to be observing. At times we had to dart from one end of the room to the other and back again to keep up with John's narration.

Here is the first scene: Indians and conquistadores

Note the Indian maidens seated in the front. If you stare at the back of their heads long enough, you find yourself wondering if they have faces. Then you start imagining the faceless figures turning around and staring at you with no eyes. You're a little reticent to turn your back on them after that.

Political correctness has no place in the Spirit of Monterey Wax Museum:




Jenn is involved with political matters here, I believe. We sort of lost track of the actual "history"...



I think I'm part of an insurgency of some sort.


Crazy Horse


Lastly we progressed to the characters of Steinbeck's Cannery Row, consisting of people he actually knew. Oh the stories he told....

Despite regaling us with tales of the local bartender and his regulars, or the wacky folks you might meet sitting on their porches around Cannery Row, this unsettling character was never explained.


No, seriously, check out his face. That's just not right.

Note to the wax museum folks: your patrons might feel a little less creeped out if you explain the crazy pole man.

And the capstone of the Spirit of Monterey Wax Museum? Why the brothel, of course.


Throughout the museum Jenn and I had commented on how the stories could have been slightly improved by some motion in the tableaux. For instance, Steinbeck related a ghost story, wherein a cradle and rocking chair were spookily lit. I noted how if the cradle had actually rocked, it would have aided the spookiness factor immensely. But, alas, no motion in the wax museum.

However, you see the little minx sprawled seductively on the bed there? HER BOSOM WAS HEAVING. I am not kidding. HEAVING.

While we were standing there listening to Steinbeck wax poetic on the ladies of the local whorehouse, a little family came into the room. The parents took one look at the currently spotlighted brothel and quickly hustled the kids out of there.

After that it was time to head back north. These are cypress trees along the highway, growing next to a farmhouse, the only trees towering above the surrounding fields.


We capped off our day with Chinese food for dinner, served to us by a waitress who was truly passionate about her work. I've never felt so affirmed in my dining choices.

Santa Cruz

I should be packing right now. However, I slept too late to get a really effective morning start, and I think that having A Makeover Story in the background while I catch up on my blog reading is also an important part of my day. I'm not feeling guilty about sleeping late because I got zero sleep the night before last and only managed to cat nap a tiny bit on the plane (I can never sleep in vehicles).

Let the photo extravaganza begin.

First off, I think you all should be introduced to Santa Cruz Jenn (aka Jenevieve; my best friend from high school):


And here is Jenn with her husband Rawson:

Despite being a bridesmaid in their wedding last November, I had never exchanged more than a token few words with Rawson. It was great to be able to spend time with him and Jenn and get to see how awesome they are together and how considerate they are of one another's happiness.

8/3/05
My first morning in Santa Cruz, Jenn and I went for a long walk along the cliffs and the ocean.


Out on this rock were about 40 sea lions, with others bobbing around in the water surrounding the rock, waiting for the tide to come in so they could clamber on themselves.

Last November, the sea lions had completely set up camp in Santa Cruz. They enjoyed lolling about on the rafters under the boardwalk and we could hear them barking all day long. There are only a few under the boardwalk right now in August.

Another highlight of the cliff walk was the surfing museum, where we saw the huge giant WOODEN surfboards surfers used to use. They were like 25 feet long and weighed 95 pounds, which tells me if we think surfers are strong now...

Later that afternoon, the fog cleared and Jenn and I went to the beach.

Because I'm dumb, I forgot to put sunscreen on the backs of my calves and fell asleep facedown on my towel. Yeah, they were a little red.

The whole time I was in Northern California, I kept noticing these flowers everywhere. They grow wild.

I thought they were very surreal-looking, with their bright pink color and no surrounding supporting leaves or foliage of any sort, just popping up randomly out of the soil. Jenn told me she'd always thought they looked like something you'd need to grab for extra points in "Super Mario Brothers." So their official name is Video Game Flowers and I hear the little "ka-ching" in my head every time I see them.

I just realized that I never took any pictures of the view from SC Jenn's apartment of the amusement park on the boardwalk. Rest assured it is very brightly lit and fabulous and there is a constant soundtrack of doppler effect screams from the various rollercoaters.

Coming up tomorrow: Monterey.


UPDATE: Jenn just emailed me some links with pictures of Umbrella Man. Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures of him myself, but here is a picture from one of the sites for your enjoyment

He walks very slowly, with a serene smile on his face. He's something of a local celebrity. Apparently he didn't always wear the women's clothing and carry a pink umbrella; those are recent developments.

A Diversion Until I Can Download My Trip Pictures Tomorrow Night

1. What is your full name? Kelly IM

2. Where do you live right now? Cambridge, MA (for one more week. Then it's down to DC, baby!)
(Um, sorry. Getting carried away.)

3. What are you listening to right now? Nstar digging and digging and digging into Broadway 2 houses away. I so love when they decide to do heavy construction and jackhammering at 12:07 AM.

4. What's the last thing you ate? Generic corn nuts (sad but true. I was stuck on an airplane.)

5. What are you doing (well, supposed to be doing)? Sleeping so I can be all rested to pack tomorrow.

6. What are you doing after work today? Downloading pictures from my trip!

7. Last live musical concert you attended? Does Pyrocussion count? Other than that, this random guy who I saw in a pub in DC in February. He was good. Very earnest with his guitar. I'm going to see Carbon Leaf in a couple of weeks and I'm very excited about that.

8. Last person you talked to on the phone? Miss Mary Joanna

9. Do you like the person who sent you this? She's been my bestest friend for 15 years.

10. How old are you today? 28

11. Marital status and are you happy with it? Single. Although I've been told I should be living it up, I'd kind of like to have a significant other.

12. Children? Nope (see above)

13. Pets? No, except for Harvey Dexy's Midnight Runner.

14. Siblings? None

15. What do you do for a living? Ex-law student looking for a break into health law

16. Favorite month? October

17. What do you do to vent anger? Steam and stew until I blow up (healthy, right?) (I second this)
(Huh, I guess there's a reason Jenn and I have been friends for 15 years. We're sick and twisted in the same ways.)

18. What do you do to relieve stress? Swim, talk to friends

19. Favorite T.V. show? Of all time? Tough! Now: Arrested Development, Scrubs. Of all time: Northern Exposure, The Good Life

20. Sexiest man/woman alive in your opinion? Well, I can be all gooey and dorky and say the dream man I haven't met yet.
Or I can be honest and say Ewan McGregor (can you say "Moulin Rouge?") If we're covering dead people, I need to throw in Cary Grant.

21. What was your favorite toy as a child? Lite Brite, Ollie

22. What was the last book you read? "Back When We Were Grown Ups"

23. What is your favorite book? Another hard one: The Enchanted April, The Country of the Pointed Firs, The Mitford Series by Jan Karon, Anne of Green Gables, and lately memoir-type writings that make me laugh.

24. If you could own it – beach house or mountain cabin? Both! Beach house wins by a hair, but I've also always wanted a mountain cabin in the woods where I can hear the wind shushing through the pines.

25. What is under your bed? Craft projects, files, toiletries for future use that won't fit in the bathroom because two other people share it with me.

26. How many pairs of shoes do you have? Um...12...? Maybe 13 with my roller skates.

27. Favorite color? Lately it's been bright turquoise. However, as August winds down and I start gearing up for Autumn, crimson is coming back into favor.

28. Favorite car? I love my car Bunny. But I would definitely want a convertible something someday. Maybe once of the cutesy little BMW's. I also like little SUV's. As long as I live somewhere where parallel parking comes into play, the word "little" will be key in describing my car.

29. If you could go anywhere on vacation next month, where would that be? Italy

30. What was the last movie you saw (in the theater)? Must Love Dogs

31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Jenevieve

32. What did you do last night? Had a brie, crackers and artichoke hearts extravaganza with SF Jenn (there were mini corn dogs as well), watched "Beautiful People," a fabulous new trashy show courtesy of ABC Family, and didn't sleep AT ALL.

33. What are you doing this weekend? Packing packing packing. And hopefully hanging out one last time with some good friends. :(

34. What inspires you? The ocean, beauty, kindness, a nicely-turned phrase

35. What are you afraid of? Not finding a job, feeling stagnant with my life, not being able to get out of debt.

36. Plain, buttered, or salted popcorn? Buttered and salted, but if I can get some kettle corn I am all over that

37. Favorite time of the day? If I can drag myself out of bed, I like that early morning feeling, when it's like I'm the only person awake in the world. I also function well really late at night

38. Who, of all the people you email this to, won’t respond (and probably curse you for sending it?) Hmmm, Sylvia?

39. Number of keys on your key chain? 5

40. Can you juggle? Nope

41. Favorite day of the week? Sunday

42. What did you do on your last birthday? Had a dinner party thrown for me. That was fun!

43. How many provinces/states have you lived in? 6,soon to be 7

44. How many cities have you lived in? 7 (if we count Chicago and Evanston as 2), soon to be 8

45. How many countries have you lived in? 1

46. How many cars have you had? 2

47. Pet duck or pet rock? Ducks are cute

48. Any Hobbies? Swimming, writing, cooking

49. Care to share a secret that no one on your e-mail list knows? Um, no, that's why it's a secret. Duh. ;)

50. If you suddenly became rich what would you do? Pay off my and my parents' debt. Travel ALL OVER the world. Buy my beach house, my mountain cabin, and a boat. Scuba dive a lot.

Produce...Sweet Produce...

I am getting spoiled with all the amazing produce in California. I'd forgotten how lovely it could be...

We always got good produce in Tucson because of our proximity to Mexico and California, I think. Chicago's was just awful. Boston is a little better than Chicago, but not much. It's like produce nirvana here in California.

Tonight Jen's husband James and I made a quick run to the Berkeley Bowl, a cheap-o store with everything you could ever ever want, including produce as far as the eye could see. I almost started weeping over the Roma tomatoes.

I bought some white peaches to get the last bit of luscious goodness before I go back to Boston. I wonder how the produce is in DC. Crossing my fingers that it's better than Boston.

Someday I will have a garden in which I will grow my own herbs, tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, beans, squash, and anything else that sounds delectable. I'd also like an apple tree. Maybe a pear tree. Perhaps a goat - I wonder how hard it is to make your own goat cheese. Okay, maybe not a goat. I don't want to get quite that rural, although as the Goods proved in The Good Life, it's possible to live in a London suburb and have not only a goat, but chickens and pigs as well.

Reason No. 1 I Could Never Live in San Francisco: Perpetual Bad Hair Day

Um, so it's windy in San Francisco. Very very windy. This from the girl who lived in The Windy City for 3 years.

(To those of you thinking about writing me to tell me that Chicago is not called The Windy City because of the wind, but really due to the blowhard politicians of the late 19th century, thank you, I know. But it was a good cap to my whole "it's windy in San Francisco" motif.)

After 4 days without internet access, I am now at Jen in Berkeley's typing on a lovely iBook G4 with wireless internet courtesy of the neighbors (shhh, don't tell).

Back to the windy. I have been blown and tossed about more by the wind in the last 4 days than ever before in my life. Including times I have spent on boats. And it's a cold wind. Apparently San Francisco never got the memo that August is indeed a SUMMER month. The days have been lovely though and I spent a nice couple of sunny clear days walking through Chinatown and up and down Fillmore Street. I got a pretty little turquoise brocade jewelry box in Chinatown that is perfect for carrying jewelry when I travel, which seems appropriate since I think I lost 2 rings while at Jenn in Santa Cruz's house, although they may be at home on my dresser. I'm not absolutely sure that I wore them. I generally consider vacation to be a jewelry-free zone, mostly because I don't want any funky tan lines.

Speaking of funky tan lines I have a doozy of a farmer's tan from walking along cliffs by the ocean near Santa Cruz without putting sunscreen on. I was very pink for a night, but now it's just tan. The funniest part to me is the perfect ring of tan on the back of my neck ending right where my pink Gap T started. I know for sure now that those people in the Gap sweatshops are making symmetrical shirts. That's a relief.

On Fillmore Street yesterday I learned that I need to be very thin and very rich. So many cute things taunting me from the store windows. I did get a bar of yummy-smelling glycerin soap just to feel semi-posh. And I bought 2 trashy magazines from a really cute guy with beautiful blue eyes and an adorable grin that he kept flashing at me. So that's fun.

Now I'm in Berkeley listening to Jen's baby Memphis tell us all about the exciting time he just spent napping for an hour. There will be pictures of him as well next week. He is such a doll and so inquisitive. He watches things happening around him, concentrating very hard on taking it all in. And he nuzzles into my shoulder, which just turns me into a pile of mushy goo.

Oh, Ezpy, I know I totally owe you a list of songs, but I need to think about this one.

Going North

This evening I'm heading up to San Francisco and Berkeley for a week and I don't know what sort of internet access I'll have. So if you don't hear from me in awhile, that's what's going on, but I promise lots of posting and pictures when I get back to Boston.

Malcontentment

I know it may seem stupid to be fretting over such things while on vacation, but I put them off until after the Bar and they're rearing their ugly heads again now.

I am feeling dissatisfied with the state of affairs in my life. No, I suppose I should be more honest. I am feeling dissatisfied with being Mormon.

I feel many things when I think about my place in this church: alone, dissatisfied, impatient, frustrated, angry. I don't think the leadership has any idea what to do with the older singles, other than shuffle us off to family wards when we hit age 31, with a virtual neon sign blinking "Failure" over our heads. I am tired of the lines about how being good and righteous in this life means we'll have a chance to get married in the next life. That is no comfort to me as I contemplate spending the next 50-60 years alone. I'm sure my lack of faith is showing through, and my lack of the eternal perspective. But I'm tired of feeling lonely every single day and night of my life.

I feel like I am a hypocrite. I believe in God and Jesus Christ. I believe that the Book of Mormon is true and good. But I don't know how I feel about it being all-encompassing. I just don't know about that right now. I also feel like I know how to say the right words, but I have to think sometimes as to whether it's really what I feel, or if I'm just giving lip-service because I'm smart and I've grown up in this religion and I know how. I feel like I go to church and feel good about being there and feel loved by my friends who are there, and I go home with lots of good intentions, which I never really follow through on because I'm all out of energy for keeping up appearances.

I feel like if I wasn't Mormon I might have a more active dating life. I am NOT blaming anyone here about the dating situation. No finger-pointing. No the problem with women/men is... The fact is, there are many, many more Mormon women than Mormon men. The fact is, I haven't gone out on a date with a Mormon man in 2 years. The fact is, at the rate I'm going I am on the path to taking on certain old maidish qualities and having a roommate until I'm 47. Then several cats. Would that change if my personal set of values and desires in a boyfriend changed? Maybe not. Maybe I'm too socially screwed up at this point to break out and become dating material for men. But it would sure widen the playing field a bit.

Politically and socially I don't agree with the majority of the Mormon members. I am fairly liberal. I think that despite what I believe, others have a choice and a right to believe what they want to and who am I to scold them with, "Wrong! Bad!"? I have homosexual friends and family members and frankly think gay marriage is a good thing because of the legal effects. And I've seen the joy in a friend's eyes as she excitedly told me that her girlfriend proposed to her. I wish to feel that sort of joy someday and am so happy that she can. I can't pretend to understand why some people are gay. But I have seen too many people close to me struggle and fight against it to even for one second believe that it is a choice.

Over the past couple of months I have found myself rolling my eyes at the prudish ways of some of those around me. But their ways are exactly how I used to act and sometimes still do act. However, I'm having a hard time maintaining my moral outrage anymore.

A friend who I was ruminating about this with asked me what I would do if I wasn't Mormon. I simply don't know. It's not like I have some amazing plan up my sleeve and am thinking, "Wow, if I wasn't Mormon I could have gone to that wine tasting a couple of days ago" or something like that. I'm not saying I don't want to be Mormon, I am just trying to figure out where I fit, if I do fit. I'm trying to figure out how to make some of my personal feelings fit within the official Church credoes.

I do understand that I'm not in the best frame of mind to be mulling all of this over. Besides being slightly pre-menstrual, I also just finished taking the Bar, am moving in 2 1/2 weeks, and am currently without a job and really stressed about money. I'm on vacation and spending money of course, but the nag in the back of my head is a little freaked out about it. So perhaps this isn't the best time to be contemplating chucking my entire value system and core beliefs.

Besides thinking about all of this out loud, I guess I would like to know how other people feel. Am I the only one who feels this uncertainty and impatience? I sort of broached the topic with a friend a week or so ago and she assured me earnestly, "But it's worth it, Kelly." To which I replied, "Is it?" I think that may have unnerved her a little to have something like that coming from me.

But lately I am wondering, is it? What does it do for me to feel so unhappy with my situation now and in the years to come, while many of my non-member friends are "muddling through" without the Mormon church and finding themselves extremely happy with their lives?

And now, having written all of this, I wonder if my Mormon friends will be so appalled that I am questioning things so deeply, after sharing so many experiences with them, that they will want nothing to do with me.

Arts Night in Santa Cruz

I have one word for you: Pyrocussion. Percussion and fire. Seriously, does it get any better?

In addition, today Jenn and I went to the Redwood Forest and hiked and hiked and hiked (a la Pioneer children who walked and walked and walked). We figure we hiked about 5 miles all told and my thighs are telling me all about it tonight. The redwoods are amazing. I think Jenn summed it up well when she said the forest feels "prehistoric."

Tomorrow is breakfast out and then a trek up to San Jose to experience the Winchester House. For those of you who don't know, I sort of have a thing for ghost stories. I've been reading about the Winchester House for years and tomorrow will actually experience it. Fun fun! I'll let you know if there are any sightings or mysterious occurrences.